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Chapter 17 - Don’t Worry, I Can Manage

I smell the fragrance of flowers

I feel the cool breeze on my skin

I hear the laughter of those I love

I must be surrounded in bliss

The warmth of the sun soothing me

This must be a wonderful place

I open my eyes to capture this beauty

But all I see is nothing

I am not in paradise

Where my family and friends are having fun

But I am here

Deep in a dungeon

I built for myself

My hands and legs are chained up

It's dark and cold in here

Unlike the brightness and warmness

I saw in my vision

I deserve this

Being away here

Far from my family and friends

I have hurt them too much

And I am guilty of it

They need a break from me

Not temporary but permanent

They need peace and happiness

And I made this decision

Locking myself in this dungeon

So they could live a wonderful life

Some return to me

Visiting me in my hell

Wanting my love and affection

Wanting to be more than friends

I don't want to hurt them

But they don't want to leave

They have to abandon me

I have to hurt them terribly

Let them feel the pain in their heart

In order for them to leave

Don't do this to yourself

We all need you

Stop this at once

They always say these

But I would plaster a smile and say

Don't worry, I will manage

This is my choice

And I'll never change my mind

To anyone's words

They will stay at first

But eventually, leave as time passes

I will be all alone

I may yell, I may cry

Most importantly, I will smile

And tell myself

It's okay, don't worry

I can manage this

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