After our dinner, Marie and I went out and we lay down on a hammock bed.
"How does it feel, Louise?" Marie blurted out.
"What do you mean?" I frowned.
"Seven men like you, but one of them is already engaged." She laughed out loud.
"Stop teasing me." I hit her arm.
"Okay." She raised her two hands as she's surrendering herself. "Let's talk about other things. How's your relationship with your brother?"
I let out a big sigh. "It's still the same."
"What do you mean it's still the same?" She asked.
"Even though you've achieved a lot, he'll still let you know how weak you are. Even if I have a good relationship with him, I inevitably still hear hurtful words." I said sadly as I looked up at the sky.
"You know? I feel the same way but you know what I'm doing? I'm telling them directly that I'm not a burden anymore. I'm giving half of my salary to give back what our parents deserve, but it's not enough for my sister." She sounded sad.
I looked at Marie and saw that her tears were already dripping. I held her hand.
"Don't mind your sister. If your parents are happy with what you give to them then that's enough, it's more than enough." I smiled.
She smiled at me as well. I want to cry and tell her how fuck life is, but I can't speak.
"B-But it's just so annoying isn't it? When you were in college you had to accept every hurtful word that came from them. You've made proud of them, but by they look at you you're still the Louise's who's weak and a burden." She said between her sobs.
Is she crying because of my situation?
"Don't worry, we'll get through this." I smiled at her. "Just don't make any grudge to your family. It's not good."
"Of course." She wiped her tears. "They are still my family and my home."
We both fell silent. We were just looking at the sky and I didn't know what Marie was thinking.
"You? Don't you want to cry?" Marie asked while looking at me.
"Why should I cry?" I faked my laugh.
"If you're feeling like you're going to explode, don't control your tears to flow," Marie said.
My tears started to flow after I heard those words. All those years, I was controlling myself to cry and now, I burst out of crying.
"Just cry and tell me what's in your heart." She uttered.
I can't speak right now. I can't tell her what was in my heart for the past years because I can't stop crying beside her.
"I hated myself back then," I uttered. "No one knows what I was going through because I didn't want to be a burden to anyone."
I wiped my tears as I looked up at the night sky. I shouldn't cry because it's embarrassing.
"I was diagnosed with moderate Social Anxiety Disorder," I said. I feel her gaze at me. "My family doesn't know that I consulted with a mental health professional. They thought that I'm too shy to talk with other people, but they don't know that I have a disorder. The symptoms are manifesting on me that's why I decided to consult with a professional."
"Why didn't you say that?" She said.
"Because I don't want to," I mumbled. "I had a therapy which is called talk therapy and some medications for calming myself every time I had an interview or I'm in crowded places. Those meds calmed me when I was trembling and my heart rapidly beating. I became dependent on them that's why I was having a hard time when I stopped taking meds."
"Are you okay now?" She asked.
It's my first time hearing those words from her. Is she asking me if I'm okay? Am I hallucinating?
"Yes. I am finally free from that disorder." I smiled genuinely.
"On behalf of our friends, I'm sorry. We're not there for you when you're at your weakest point." She sounded apologetic. "But we're so proud of you. You were able to overcome it, alone. You're still the bravest among us."
"I'm proud of you too." I smiled and sat again. I feel that she also sat beside me.
"I'm really sorry, Louise. I really do." She muttered while her eyes fixed on mine. "I want to apologize for leaving you while you're struggling with your own self. I'm such a fake friend because I'm not asking you if you're okay but you, you're always asking us if we're fine, doing great, what's our problem, and so forth."
"Hey, it's okay." I stroke her back with my hand. "Not all the time you're there to listen to my rants and I understand that. We have a silent battle that we need to win."
I don't like skinship but I find myself hugging her. She needs it the most.
"You're a brave woman." She whispered.
We let go of each other and started laughing. We're not used to talking about this kind of topic and I'm so embarrassed to cry in front of her.
She suddenly stood up. "I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, LOUISE!"
She screamed at the top of her lungs. No one is here so she's free to shout what's inside of her heart and mind.
I also got up and stood beside Marie. "EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY!"
"THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE THANKFUL!" Marie shouted so I looked at her.
"Are you talking about your family?" I asked.
"Omg! We're talking about our family. I forgot!" Marie said hysterically. She laid down on the sand so I threw sand on her face.
It entered her mouth so she threw a glare at me. She was about to throw sand on me, but it was too late because I'm a bit far away from her.
"YOU'LL DIE WHEN I CHASED YOU! I'LL SWALLOW YOU ALL THE SAND HERE AT THE RESORT!" Marie shouted as she chased after me.
I just laughed at her while running. When I saw her stop chasing me I stopped as well. I approached her but she suddenly pulled me into the sea.
"I'm not just going to feed you sand, I'm going to get you water to drink," Marie said as she pulled me over.
I tried to pull my hand back but I was getting tired of laughing at her. We are only in the shallow part of the sea so it is not too dangerous. When I have had a chance, I pushed Marie really hard so she sank. I immediately ran away from her but she suddenly pulled the sleeve of my shirt again so we both fell into the water. I heard a crack on my cloth when Marie pulled me.
"Shit! I was just wearing a thin shirt and you dimwit ripped my shirt." I said to Marie while glaring at her.
She just laughed out loud as she pulled me out of the water. Before we could get up, I strangled her so we fell into the water again. We wrestled each other in the sea and laughed out loud in the middle of the night. We spent more few minutes before we went up.
"Look what you did to my cloth," I said as I pointed at the torn sleeve and to my black bra.
"You're crazy. Why did you wear that?" She asked as she laughed again.
I laughed as well. "I didn't know that you're going to pull me into the water and drowning there."
Marie just laughed as she looked at me. I was really like a poor sheep while hugging myself. We looked behind us when we heard our names. Our friends and RealSeven are walking towards us.
"Oh, what happened? Why are you guys soaked?" Jake asked as he approached Marie.
"She was wrestling me in the sea then I took revenge so we're both got soaked," I told them while hugging myself because of my visible black bra.
"You're stupid Marie. Did you forget that Louise had a sick yesterday?" Haye asked.
"Shit! I forgot! I'm sorry." Marie covered her mouth while widening her eyes.
"Stupid Marie," Junior said while laughing.
Marie approached me and held me on my shoulders. "I'm so sorry. I really forgot."
I just laughed at her reaction while my hands are still covering myself. Jake put his jacket on Marie so she wouldn't get cold. I was just looking at the two of them that's why I didn't realize that Johan put his jacket on my shoulders and Karl came in front of me and put his jacket on me as well. Yohan suddenly brought a towel and put it on my head.
"T-Thank you." I smiled awkwardly at them.
"Let's go to your room. You need to change your clothes." Jacob suddenly approached me and fixed the jackets.
I didn't move immediately and I was just stunned by his face.
"Louise, come on," Jacob said again as he put his hands on my shoulders to hold the two jackets.
"O-Okay." I stuttered.
We walked into the hotel but I could still hear my friends screaming. When we reached the front of our room, he let go of me.
"Thank you," I smiled.
"You're always welcome Louise. Just don't get sick again okay?" Jacob said while smiling at me.
His eye smile is the most attractive part of his body parts. How can someone not fall in love with this gentleman?
HOW???