Cindy
As a group, we headed towards the city at the end of the day. Other dheka met us at the border with bowels to wash our hands and take the harvest from the fields to sell in the market. I picked up a small brush to scrub my nails. Working all day long between plants had become a passion for me. It also got me out of the palace, the crowds, and the difficult situation I found myself in. I smiled at the young man, rinsing my hands under a flowing stream, "Thank You."
"Na gode."
I repeated the words. He nodded his approval.
Every night, Liam had been there to meet me, so I looked about to see where he was… Usually, it was easy to spot his white face in the crowd, but I didn't; he wasn't there… Maybe he changed his mind and went after the army? A little anxious, I hurried to the palace, heading for the dining room.
I scanned the few occupied seats around only one table; usually, we filled the large room. It felt empty without everyone there except my parents. I might as well be fifteen again. "Have you seen Liam?"
"He and Marcus left earlier… They didn't want to talk to anyone and asked for two mounts to ride…"
Attacked by the few words, I slumped into a chair. How could things be this great and yet so difficult at the same time?
***
I sluggishly picked at my breakfast on my plate. The only other people around the table were Agatha's parents, mine, and Semaj and his wife—rulers of this region. The six were chatting away, sharing stories, having the time of their lives.
Ira was with the army, and I couldn't even ask him what happened. Someone told Liam! I had hoped no one would... I had hoped they would have enough respect to let me do it in my own way, on my own time. I needed a few more days to figure things out. Now, I didn't even have the option of explaining myself… He and Marcus could be doing something else… Liam could only be bored while I left him alone, ignored his advances, unable to sleep next to him. Wishful thinking.
Liam was as much in love with me as the first day we met. All the time. He put me first in everything. On the other hand, Ira had asked me to go with them, but Liam would've followed… It was worse for me to see Ira watching us being uncomfortable around one another than it was lying. A stupid, ill-timed giggle bubbled up; I was cheating on one husband with another and vice versa. Leading a double life.
Ira had been there for me for so long, and since Michael landed on En-gannim, we hadn't had one minute where we could talk. It was as if a part of me was ripped away… A spouse who died in an instant. It was how I convinced myself to take the step in the first place… I had to accept I would never see Liam again and decided to get married again—after twenty years of celibacy… And now I lost another partner, friend, and lover. Maybe two. I couldn't do it. I was grieving, and no one could or wanted to understand why I had to go on with my life... I had somehow ostracized myself from the family with one choice… Was it so wrong?
For two hundred years of my life—on En-gannim—I was alone without a care in the world. Then, two hundred more on Earth after I decided to marry Liam… A hundred with Ira! I went from one place to another, never alone… And then I was… I didn't like it… My time on Earth was all spent hoping to one day get back to En-gannim, and now I never wanted to see the place again. Fear consumed me of being stuck—somewhere—without any way out. I didn't know how my parents survived in the prison! I tossed a piece of bread onto my plate.
The group laughed around the table. My mother and father were deciding where they would best fit into the lifestyle on Mirach for work, housing, and location. The older they got, the more they wanted to do—were able to do physically and mentally. Their lives only started now. Hey, I could finally have a brother or sister soon myself… Weird.
I watched my father intently; every now and again, he would stare at my mom when she said something. His eyes were full of the same desire, love, and loyalty that made me want what they had… Tears welled up; I held them back. He loved her so much. I could understand how he got through their captivity; he had someone to live for, help, and get through the torture. It was his purpose in life after the men decided to go against the regime. Maybe it was a little bit of guilt, too.
Ira… Ira had done the same for me… I smiled, thinking about him. He had the same look in his eyes every day we were on the island. I would catch him on me—watching me… And for the first time, my daughter wasn't so crazy anymore… A harem of my own? Liam and Ira in the same household—with me? I laughed out loud, and the table looked my way. "Forgive me. My thoughts wandered. I will head out to the fields."
"Alright, my dear. Have a good day at work."
"Thank you, Daddy." I kissed him on the forehead and left to join the train of farmers heading out.
Walking towards the fields brought back a little lightness to my steps. The earth was kind. The people were friendly with one goal; to prosper the day's crops. To kill beasts coming into our rows. It was fun to see the dheka fan their dark flames over the plants to ward off pests eating their produce; the little bugs withered into thin air, crying out in protest. We watered the fields by hand and tilled the soil with strange tools. Out there admits the quiet tilling my mind found the peace it longed for.
On a day off, I walked outside the palace with a group of women—shopping. Finally, and funnily, now at this middle age of my life, I had my first paying job. My own money to buy nice clothes and trinkets or even a servant if I wanted… The group of women chatted a lot, although I couldn't understand them yet, I just tagged along. There was always some sign among the locals that someone important was on the palace steps. A hush would descend over the crowd like at that moment; everyone would look to the entrance… It was Juliet and Chris who landed on the steps. Happily, I waved, seeing he finally got his manifestation back. Chris flexed his muscles. I had to talk to Juliet—eventually. She met my eye, and I called her over to a small kiosk selling earrings.
"Choose something."
"Really!" She looked through the many pieces. "I feel like… black."
"Uh, oh!"
Juliet chuckled, "What did you get?"
"I bought these." I showed her two earrings in the shape of a diamond with intricate metalwork of finery.
"Oh, mom, it's beautiful and suits you… It will go well with your green shirt."
"Thank you."
"I think these ones," she lifted a pair of black stones in the pattern of a half flower hanging off a thick hoop with more dangly parts.
"Oh, those are a good choice."
"Thank You," she gave me a side hug.
"Julie… I'm sorry I put you in that position… I'm half angry at Ira." Juliet chuckled as I paid, and we headed down the street. "Did you tell him?" I asked.
"Me? No… Why?"
"Your father left. He wasn't with you?"
"No…" she groaned remorsefully. "We left Marcus here to deal with it," she said hesitantly.
"Marcus? He's also not here."
"What?" Juliet laughed. "The two left together?"
I laughed with her, "Why is Marcus angry with you?"
"We've not slept together."
"Why?"
Juliet walked toward a food stand and asked for a leather pouch filled with some pastry. I held out a coin, frustrated when Juliet had a lengthy discussion with the patron.
Before she bit into one, she said, "I don't know, really? I'm angry and feel bad at the same time."
"You said you didn't sleep with anyone."
"I didn't… Something else happened…" Juliet told me about Vittore and how losing someone she didn't know had affected her… Every day, she had to deal with it… Even now, she felt like there was someone she would never get to know.
"But he was so bad?"
"I know! But… Louis's past was also awful."
"I guess… And I understand… You lost something… As if a soulmate died."
"Mmm, I don't know why it still haunts me… I can't compare it to anything because—both of us—went through those few minutes together, realizing and losing… The regret on his face was so deep-seated in his features. Meaningful… because he didn't wait... because of all he did and caused."
"How tragic to know you have to do the—honorable thing— to someone you've never even met."
Juliet bit into another cake and swallowed. "Mom, I'm not angry… But it was a shock… I guess you guys were the most solid and our lifeline to normalcy… I… don't like lying to Dad."
"I know."
"You're also grieving a loss… Who knows, maybe both of them will surprise you if you're honest."
"I don't know? I don't know what to do. I love both of them."
"You do?"
I nodded, grabbing one of her cakes and taking a large, sad bite. "I'm scared Ira will want to leave… Break my heart and sleep around on Zoreah; sick of sleeping with only one woman for so long."
"Phew, I'm glad you said that… I was scared he already made the rounds with the three servant girls, using you as a side piece."
I laughed out loud. "No… he was like you."
"He was? Leachy?"
"Totally clingy."
"Ah, Mom, maybe you're so pretty he's conformed his ways."
"What if both want an open relationship?"
"Say no."
"Could I?"
"You can do whatever you want… I'm sure if I found a dheka who manifested for me… You might as well."
"We might as well go live with the werewolves then… All these harms of ours… Come, let's sit and have a drink."
"Yes, please."
***
Juliet spent the next few days with me at work, using the solitude to shut down after all she went through. A little mother-daughter time was good for bonding after we were apart for so long. Although Chris was always close, unable to leave her side for too long. Juliet loved the attention, and I missed Ira, who was always in the dirt with me. Ira. How could I be this old and still be obsessed with two boys! I was better than this, wasn't I?
Then, one morning at the breakfast table, I looked up to see Liam staring at me and Michael disappearing. His eyes were strange, on the brink of hardness and softness. Loss and hurt. He never before had to guard himself from me. It was what I had been dreading: losing the adoration. Too selfish to have sacrificed to keep it.
I stood and headed toward the family rooms, deciding halfway to quickly tell Juliet we wouldn't be spending the day together. Chris and Michael were coming from there laughing. "I wouldn't go in there," Chris said.
"We brought Liam and Marcus back."
"Thank you. Tell her we'll be in our room for some time."
"I hope a few days! Good luck."
"Any tips?"
"Sex?" Chris offered.
"Grovel," Michael said.
"Gee, thanks."
They laughed and greeted Liam behind me with some encouraging words. I heard, "Reign in that temper."
"If we were forced to do it. You have to."
"Being single is overrated."
Inwardly, I chuckled, glad everyone had accepted what happened, but when I looked back to meet Liam's eye, he was staring at the ground, ignoring them. My heart ached to see him like this. Maybe he wouldn't force himself to accept this but choose to live amicable yet separated... What have I done? Tears already burned to fall.
I moved through the door, wiping under my eyes, and turned as Liam closed it behind him. It had never—ever—been awkward between us. It was the first time, and I didn't know what to say.
"Will you sit with me?" he asked.
"Yes," my voice broke a little.
Our room had a little courtyard out the back with plants and trees. It was a good view for the two chairs. Side by side and not forced to look into each other's eyes. "Do you need more time? Should we do what we did on the compound? We wait until we both can speak the language."
"No, we've been apart for too long… Liam—I was depressed for twenty years… Unable to function fully… Grieving—so—much… Unwilling to do more than survive… It's why I slipped up so much with Mael, and he turned out this way… By the time I figured out my future, I had made a hundred mistakes and never thought I'd have to take account for any of it… A part of me died… I'm still a little broken… Grieving again…" He reached out to take my hand. "I'm the one who asked you to leave, and I felt so guilty for forcing you to go after Juliet… It was my fault you were stuck in Nahrima—"
"Hey… Look at me." I shook my head as the tears rolled down my cheeks. Liam dragged his chair closer and pulled me onto his chest. His warmth enveloped me. Strong arms held me close. The sobs racked through me. Liam stroked my back, "Forgive me, love… You didn't do anything wrong… It was my pride… Forgive me," he crooned.
I put my arms around his neck and sat down on his lap, "I missed you so much." I pulled him closer as the feelings overpowered me. I was safe. He would understand.
His hands moved over my hair and my back, trying to comfort me, "I'm here… I'm here…"
My head ached as my spell subsided. I stood a mess and headed for the bathroom, grabbing a cloth to wipe my face. With two hands, I scooped water and splashed away my feelings. My sniffles were still audible. I used a new cloth to dry myself and took deep breaths. The migraine consumed me. I closed my eyes, holding onto the little counter. "Are you okay?"
"No, a sudden headache. I'm so dizzy."
Liam left and came back with a young girl assigned to our room. She hesitantly came over… I sighed with the instant relief she could offer with one touch. "Thank You."
She did it a few more times and spoke. I couldn't understand her. I groaned at the constant reminder of how out of my depth I felt. I pushed off the bench to look at her. All I could say was, "Na gode." With sympathy, she nodded and left again.
Liam was on the chair, staring at the garden. "For the first time, we're the odd ones out… I don't understand one thing they say."
"Hmm."
I walked over, stood behind him, and put two hands on his shoulders. My fingers worked into his muscles, massaging, "If you like, I could do it properly."
He patted my hand and held it, stopping my efforts, "I don't think I've ever seen you like this… Accept when Ira took Caleb away… Cindy, he—"
I squeezed his shoulders, "No, I've been like this a few times… The days we spent looking for Juliet when she first got her ability… On the compound after the auction—sold off to Lucius… When we thought Marcus would never love her... When we had to go back because of Qadir, and we helplessly had to watch our daughter suffer... No, I can see you're disappointed in me… Everyone is!" He held my hand a little tighter. "Maybe it's time your rose-colored glasses come off."
"Now—I'm going to say no! And I don't care what everyone else thinks… I did this… You had to change… The moment we reunited, something was off... I have really never seen you like this because—"
"It's not about him."
"I know," he said softly. "I never wanted you to be so—broken… After we got to Earth, I dreaded the day things would be too much for you… It never came. Nothing ever was… I've always wanted you to feel safe and be happy… Tried to bring joy into our lives…" Liam's voice quivered, "I haven't been perfect, and you always—always were. Put together and strong… You were the rock in my life, in everyone's life, and we couldn't give you any grace… I'm sorry… I promised your father I'd take care of you… I've not done a very good job, have I?"
I stroked over his chest and rested my chin on his shoulder, kissing his neck. "I love you." My arms closed around him, "I missed you… and mourned us… I think I'm justified in my grief after everything we've been through. How close we were…"
Liam wiped at his eyes, reached behind him, and held me, "Yes, yes, you are… And we're still close… I hope… You are the only one that kept me going, love… Sam asked me… if I thought it would've worked if we were younger."
"We… could… test it." Liam turned in his seat, probably to see if I was serious. I smiled and kissed him, making the first move. Lingering, feeling—if the chemistry was still there. It was like kissing a stranger. New. We were both different and older; our lives had changed so much. Yes, I wanted to get there again, and as our lips moved tentatively, the spark was still there between us and held more promises for the future.
He pulled away and looked deep into my eyes, "I need to know."
I nodded softly, "He was like a husband to me… I do love him… I'm sorry I hurt you... Gave up and didn't have the fortitude to stay true…"
Liam reached out and pulled my lips onto his as he got up, taking me in his arms.
***
Caleb
It was Basaam's choice how he wanted to do this; he had asked Michael and me to do some invisible recon to see what Louis was up to. Once we teleported to Earth, I looked around and heard his voice behind me. Michael gripped my arm a little tighter; I was reluctant to turn, but when I did, Jacklin's heavily pregnant belly filled the dawning space between two people separated by time and space... Louis was on one knee tying her laces.
"Mom, what do you want to eat tonight?" A pretty blond behind a counter asked. I held my breath… Not one child, but two? Other people walked past us, greeting the group and having a quick conversation with the whole family. Louis was congratulated on his gallantry.
The little street through the market was muddy; Louis stood and slapped his pants to get rid of the stain. It didn't help much; now his hands were dirty, and he swore. Jacklin laughed and handed him a cloth. He took hold of Jacklin's shoulder and squeezed it, "Better?" he asked.
"Thank you."
"Lillian, I want to have fish!" Louis playfully yelled, smiling down at Jacklin.
A sturdy-looking, dark-haired man sat down on the little counter and laughed, "I'd like fish… What do you say, Mom?"
Three kids…
Jacklin was getting ticked off… "You guys know fish makes me want to vomit."
"Oh, I can make potatoes with it," Lillian continued with the joke.
"No! I don't like potatoes!" Jacklin stomped a foot.
"Yes! Fish it is. And Potatoes," Louis's voice was stern, but he still smiled at her.
I glanced at Michael; his features were somber as he clicked his teeth lightly together. "What do you think she'll do?" I whispered.
"Jacklin's pregnant. Can we take the chance?"
"Basaam will have to stay for a few days to make sure and get the lay of the land…"
"Yeah, let's go see if we can find a house far out of the town."
Michael and I decided to walk the rest of the way… An hour would be far enough for Basaam and Nami to hide. We were heavy into the jungle when we found a broken down, degraded little cottage hidden away with overgrown plants and grass. "It's close to the beach."
"It's perfect… Let's bring," Micheal looked around as he walked and almost fell over a stump, "A lot of people to help us… I'll talk to your mom, and you can talk to Basaam."
Michael teleported us back to En-gannim, where everyone was still gathered in the monkey room eating breakfast. Neither of us could move, watching her. He also didn't let go of me. I figured he also needed a few invisible moments to gather his thoughts… Juliet had asked Michael to find something else for Jessy and the men to eat. They were enjoying their feast of various meats and water... It was always water these days…
Juliet also wanted to save every little beast on the island who wouldn't make it if we just left them there... She had gone into hero complex mode… But earlier, when Michael went to ask Ira if he wanted to take the stone to Zoreah, he declined and gave it to Michael to put back into the water feature so the island could stay alive. Although they had built a water filtration system to feed the reservoirs, it wouldn't help if no one could open them and fill the dams... We couldn't carry on like this, worrying about every thin thread—on every frickin planet.
Michael finally let go, and Juliet noticed us; she searched his face. "Is there anything else you want done here before we vacate?" he asked, his tone as disappointed as I felt.
Juliet instantly knew it wasn't good news and looked away, "Maybe you and Chris can take the monkeys and set them free."
"Of course."
I took hold of Basaam and made him disappear. "What happened?" he asked nervously.
"Jacklin is pregnant, and there are two other children. An older man and woman… We found a house… I don't think we should say something until we're sure."
Basaam's shoulders slumped, and we both stared at the one person we didn't want to have to go through any kind of hurt. "Okay."
It took us only half an hour to have everyone where they needed to be. Michael and Chris were busy traveling the whole time. I hoped they would take a break for a few days. The last person to come was Sammy. I laughed as she ran for the waves instead of teleporting in. Shoes and all, she rushed into the water, stumbling… All the others were wading through the water, playing. Kaia took my breath away every time I looked at her. What would I do if anything happened to her… or we were separated for a hundred years after only a few together.
Her manner was soft, and she splashed Nami with a cupped hand; the little bit barely meant anything; she was just that considerate. The two grabbed each other when a wave rolled in; their faces lit up with pleasure. Could I do it? Stay on Mirach without any possibility of ever leaving. Maybe if Chris and Juliet also went into the room and we all made the pact together. A promise never to leave. Kaia looked back over her shoulder and met my eye. I was so glad I never slept with anyone else… And in the end, if Kaia wanted to do the right thing, I wouldn't say no. Her eyes were bright hazel, and, in the sun, they shone.
***
The day the three of us arrived in Zazzou a year ago, we were so tired that we walked in, not thinking about the new place or the people. After our hands were washed and we were welcomed into the palace, Semaj greeted us from his podium with his wife seated next to him, and there she stood beside her mother. I didn't look at Kaia twice. I feel so stupid now. The segregation was so ingrained in Basaam and me not to insult the women in any way or stare at anyone. We had to keep ourselves safe from falling for anyone. It was one of Juliet's big taboos for us. Always look down—have another thought to counter the lusty ones that could lead us into temptation.
Juliet handled the initial introduction, and Semaj was so happy to hear who we were that he requested a handshake from us to indulge them in our customs, which they'd read so much about. Nami shook my hand first and moved on to Basaam… Kaia followed, and at the same time, the two of us stood there with two women gripping our hands a little too tightly... Kaia's eyes painfully closed before they both manifested.
Startled, I pulled my hand away; she held on to me as if her life depended on it. As her eyes slowly opened, I anticipated red for anger because maybe we had done something wrong. I would never ever have thought they would flicker a purple hew. Juliet swore, of course, solidifying the truth. By then, the purple veins had enveloped our hands, slowly moving up our arms. There wasn't much I could do after that moment; Kaia had penetrated my soul in a second—filled it with hope, a future, and life… The rush of relief of never ever having to hold back again was—like reuniting our family... After I saw Vittore's mating ritual with Juliet, I knew what had happened. It was the saddest thing I'd ever had to watch… For someone who could fall in love at first sight, she really gained and lost in only a few minutes.
However, for me—it was the happiest moment. Juliet was the one to move first, grabbing Kaia's wrist and pulling her off me. The father did the same with Nami, and a disturbing silence followed while the parents dragged the two daughters away. Juliet was so happy, jumping up and down, taking my shoulders in hand and shaking me. I could only stare at the door Kaia had left out of. Every nerve in my body ached. Every muscle flooded with blood. If she held on any longer, I would've had an accident right there… "I need a room."
"Me too," Basaam said.
Juliet laughed and laughed as the servants hurriedly ushered us to our homes for the next year.
***
It had gotten easier. I shook my head, thinking Basaam and Nami had actually slept together only a month later… Kaia was shy and not like her sister. My lip quirked at how long it took her to hold my hand. Now… she dulled us both to sleep whenever our kissing got out of hand, which was already a big deal for her… She embraced and followed the customs to the letter… It would be hard for her to sacrifice for me… I wouldn't ask it of her either.
Chris clapped me on the shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Come on! We brought tools and lawnmowers." I laughed.
The group split up behind large clusters of trees to change out of their wet clothes. Have I stayed invisible to watch Kaia undress? No… Chris gripped my arm and pushed me away, "You have to make up your mind."
"You have to decide… then only can I think about talking to her… She's not like mom."
"No," Chris chuckled. "A gentler girl you could not find… Quiet... Kaia is sweet, Caleb… You should do your best to reign in that temper."
"I don't want to choose between you guys."
"I know… Let's see what happens with Louis… One hurdle at a time… Life is full of choices… Can you last another month or so?"
"I'll wait fifteen years! But that's my limit."
Chris laughed and put his arm around my shoulder, "I missed you… I regret not being there the day you and Kaia found each other… Or for Basaam's birth… Were you with Juliet?"
"No, they wouldn't allow me in… Saleh is very strict with the laws…" My chest tightened at the memory of Juliet's cries for Michael in those last moments… No one could understand her, and we didn't know what they were saying. Saleh stayed close to interpret if things did go south… "She asked for me right after… It was difficult for her to have no one there."
"Juliet said Niana saved your life."
"He did."
"Was it serious between them?"
I chuckled, "No, Niana wanted Charlene at first… or rather would've wanted to be part of anyone's harem… After Soren, she's careful… After Basaam was born, she wasn't so… uhh… emotional."
"Oh, I see… Juliet was pregnant."
"If that's what we call it now."
The first lawnmower droned to life, and then the next. Kaia and the rest of the kids were astonished, wanting to give it a try... An edger sliced through the grass. The debris hit the girls. They scrambled out of the way, screaming. Marcus, of course, chased Sammy around with it. This immediately put Nami in a pucker, manifesting out in the open and attacking him outright. Juliet's boisterous laughter filled the air. "F— I missed this," Chris said.
We worked well into the night and slept on the beach, so used to being outdoors in the sand. Right next to our mats, Naji and Fia rolled out theirs. "Have you talked to your father, Fia?"
"Yes… He asked us to refrain and make the journey with you… It all depends on if it works… I think… he will change his mind if I don't receive the family mark."
"Naji?" I asked.
He shrugged and lay down. My new half-brother rarely said anything or gave an opinion. He was so much like Marcus—it was freaky. Always observing. Kaia took my hand, squeezing it slightly. So I let it go.
"Don't worry, Caleb!" Juliet yelled from all the way over the end of the line of ants in the sand. "Charlene and I have a plan."
"I want to be a part of it," Chris complained.
After a few days of hard labor, we had the plot cleared, plant beds weeded, trees pruned, and a lot of work went into fixing up the house. In the morning, we were all heading back to Mirach, leaving Basaam and Nami there to stalk his father and make sure what we thought was going on was indeed happening.