[George's POV]
I continued to read that book, and the more I read the more I got confused. What he wrote in that book directly contradicted everything I had been told in class. When I eventually finished it, I didn't know what to believe.
It was like everything I had been told had been a lie. My mind was split into two halves, one that wanted to dismiss everything I had just read as the ramblings of a man with a terminal illness who could have gone mad and the other wanted to believe it. But it was just too outrageous, if this was true, then what it did mean?
While I was having these thoughts, the most important question on my mind had to do with Erina. How did she get this book? From the way the people who killed the author acted, there's no way they would let some kid in some experiment program of theirs find out this secret.
So how did she get it? Did someone give it her? But anyway, why did she want me to read this? What does she expect me to do with this information? There's no way I'm going to tell anyone about this. I just got out of certain death not too long ago, there's no way I'm going to walk back in pit of my own volition.
The time I spent thinking about this went from hours to days, then from days to weeks, and eventually turned into months. In the midst of that time, I tore up the book's pages, soaked them in water, tore them up again after I removed the water and flushed them down the toilet. I can only hope they don't inspect the sewage.
If I want any answers, I have to see Erina again. But how do I meet her?
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After some time passed, I stopped worrying about what I had read and tried to forget. The final examination was creeping closer and closer, and that led to a general unease among all of us.
The time was slowly approaching one year since we were dropped here. I had gotten a little taller and I wondered if my birthday had come and gone. For now, I would just assume I was seven. I've seen similar changes in the others.
When I stop and look around at all of us when we train, I see our small bodies and hear our high pitched voices, it actually hits me that we are just children. Considering the things we do in here, it's hard to forget we're not even close to being adults.
After all the training, I had gotten better throughout the months that had passed, and I was now confident that I could defeat Carter.
Don't misunderstand, when I say I could defeat Carter, I mean the Carter from when we just came here. At this point, the gap between me and the rest of them was too big to think about. Think about this way, if I improve by one point while training, the next strongest person after me increases by three.
I never really close the gap, but after losing all the time I learnt some tricks to help me lessen the damage I take. It was only after being struck in various spots again and again that I figured out how to do it.
I might not be able to attack that well, but I'm sure I'm better than anyone in this bloc when it comes to defending.
I was lying in my bed trying to sleep but really couldn't.
Suddenly, I had a jarring thought.
What if there's someone in a higher group who just like me? Someone who's getting beat on and learns the same things I have? If we fought, the person would surely win even if it's just because his physique would be better than mine.
I shivered a little.
I'm not safe at all.
Did I get complacent? Just because I survived that one time, did I think I was suddenly invincible?
Almost anyone from the other groups can wipe the floor with me. But I did defeat that guy from Group 9, but I can definitely attribute that to luck. He must've got careless when he saw I was losing a lot of blood.
Now that I think about it, my groping around the knife could have looked like final death throes. I'm sure he didn't expect me to suddenly swing behind me. He was charging in, probably to deal the finishing blow.
Ever since I killed him, I've felt different. It's like I lost a part of myself that day and became something else. I can imagine the blood on my hands, but I don't really feel that much about it.
Is that normal? When I imagine interacting with people after I leave here, I get the feeling that they'll find me weird. I've learnt enough here to make me think that I'm no longer the way I'm supposed to be. I really think this place has broken me. I know I'm not supposed to be this chill about killing someone. Or am I just over thinking it?
It's possible that this is very normal for all Ranked.
A thought then made me sit up.
That's right! Professor A never told us about the other Tiers. Did none of us realize?
I lay back down and tried to clear my head. I had to sleep or I would be wasted when we train tomorrow.
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Warden was sitting in the same position as usual, and talking to a new Assistant next to her.
"Assistant, what do you think will happen when Freedom Night commences?"
Assistant held her chin and seemed to be deep in thought.
"Considering there's only one person who's actually killed anyone in the group, I'd say he has an advantage when it starts, at least in the beginning. Personally, I think their first reaction to death will be the deciding factor in whether they survive or not."
Warden nodded.
"The person who freezes up after their first kill will be the first person to die."
She kicked back and put her feet up.
"And while they struggle and fight to live, I will be in the comfort of this room watching them have life-changing moments. This job is actually quite fulfilling."