"One, two, three…" Fujiwara Chika's eyes snapped open. She grabbed Amamiya Natsuki's arm and whispered urgently, "Look! There are three Kaguya-chans!"
"I saw," Natsuki nodded.
Three Kaguyas was one thing — but if one and a half Kaguya Shinomiya appeared, that would be terrifying!
They stepped into the ward.
Kaguya on the left said calmly, "I am the real one."
The middle Kaguya sneered, "She's fake."
The rightmost Kaguya smirked, "They're both lying."
"Don't worry, Kaguya-chan," Fujiwara said firmly, clenching her fists. "I'll definitely be able to tell which one is real."
"I hope all of them are the real Kaguya-san," Natsuki sighed, eyeing the three. "Kaguya's a super genius. If we gather 500 Shinomiya Kaguyas, human society could leap forward 500 years."
"That actually makes sense…" Fujiwara nodded absentmindedly — then quickly snapped back. "Wait, that's weird!"
"The monster's imitating Kaguya-chan, definitely not for fun," Fujiwara said sharply. "I once saw a movie where aliens copied the heroine's every move and finally replaced her… Kaguya-chan must be in serious danger. We have to rescue her."
"Yes, yes."
"…"
"How can we tell who's who…"
Fujiwara pressed her temples with two fingers, thinking hard.
"Well, I have an idea," Rikka Takanashi offered quietly. "Ghosts don't have body temperature, right?"
"That makes sense!" Fujiwara's eyes lit up. "Natsuki-san, Kotori, let's check and see who's cold."
Three against three.
Each Kaguya stood ready to be tested.
Natsuki approached the middle Kaguya.
They were identical: height, hair, face, clothes, even cold expressions — like triplets carved from one mold.
"Kaguya-san, please stretch out your hand," Natsuki said gently.
"Um…" Kaguya complied calmly.
Natsuki took her hand. A faint warmth spread through his fingers. The skin was smooth and delicate, like fine jade.
Seriously, this ice-princess's hands were stunning: snow-white skin, green-tinted fingertips, no nail polish—just healthy pink nails that looked delicious.
He pinched gently.
Soft, warm, elastic. He didn't want to let go.
Pinched again.
Couldn't stop.
"It's warm!" Fujiwara's voice broke the silence. "This one's the real Kaguya-chan!"
Rikka nodded, "I feel the temperature too."
Natsuki added, "Same here."
"Eh?" Fujiwara blinked in confusion. "They all have body temperature? Are they all real Kaguya-chans?"
"Obviously not." Natsuki remained calm. "Two must be simulating body heat."
Rikka, ever the simpleton, suggested, "Try making them breathe."
"That's smart."
Moments later…
"Ahh! They're actually breathing!" Fujiwara bit her lip, arms crossed.
"Try the heartbeat next. There's no way all three have a heartbeat, right?"
"Kaguya-chan, don't move. I'm going to check your heartbeat."
Fujiwara lifted her hand and pressed it against the chest of the middle Kaguya.
Wait — testing a heartbeat like that?
Natsuki was shocked: "Well, I guess I have to…"
Rumor had it Kaguya's breasts were 'taken by God' for being too smart. Though a high schooler, her chest was barely elementary-school level—like Veneto—so she didn't even need underwear in winter.
Today, I'll verify with my own hands if Kaguya's really that flat and evil!
"Kaguya-san, sorry."
Natsuki reached out to touch her chest.
At that moment, Fujiwara suddenly shouted, "You're a fake Kaguya-chan!"
She pointed firmly, voice resolute: "Kaguya's a girl! How could she let a boy put his hand on her chest to check her heartbeat? You're definitely fake!"
"…"
The Kaguya in front of Natsuki parted her lips—and cracks appeared across her face.
The cracks spread rapidly, breaking all over her body in seconds.
A soft crash sounded as she shattered like a broken lens and disappeared into thin air.
Natsuki paused mid-reach and sighed.
Too quick to accuse. Should've checked first if Kaguya was flat-chested and evil.
The body was real—warm, breathing, with a heartbeat. The imitation was flawless.
It seemed the fake Kaguya would vanish only when exposed. If undetected, she might never disappear.
Natsuki regretted it more.
If he'd known, he could have blackmailed Fujiwara into silence, keeping all three Kaguyas as wives—one to massage his shoulders and legs, one to do housework, and one to work to support the family.
"Well, I heard it," Rikka raised her hand. "That heartbeat was very clear."
"Why does everyone have a heartbeat?" Fujiwara groaned, holding her head.
Judging Kaguya's identity by heartbeat was a failure.
"Change tactics," Natsuki suggested. "Ask something only you two know."
Fujiwara nodded and clasped her hands, eyes wide.
"Kaguya-chan, when did we first meet?"
"At the junior high school opening ceremony."
Both Kaguyas answered in perfect unison.
"Correct." Fujiwara gave a thumbs-up. "At that time, Kaguya-chan wasn't good at talking to people. Everyone called her the 'Ice Princess Kaguya.'"
Not that she's any better now.
"You both got it right. Let me try another…" Fujiwara thought for a moment. "What was the first gift I gave Kaguya-chan?"
The left Kaguya: "A hairpin."
The right Kaguya: "It matched the hairpin in your bangs perfectly."
"I got all the answers right," Fujiwara said seriously.
She asked a few more questions, and both Kaguyas answered simultaneously—impossible to tell who was real.
"Natsuki-san," Fujiwara looked at him desperately. "Use your evil energy to help. Come up with a solution."
"I'm sorry, I tried," Natsuki shook his head. "It's completely useless."
In fact, when Sadako climbed out of the TV, Natsuki had tried dispelling evil spirits—but for some reason, it didn't work on these game copies.
"In that case, I have only one trump card." Fujiwara took a deep breath and focused.
"Put a chicken and a rabbit in a cage. There are 35 heads and 94 legs. So… which tastes better, spicy chicken or spicy rabbit head?"
Natsuki stared blankly.
"Are you serious?"
The question about chickens and rabbits had nothing to do with which tastes better.
Are you a farmer who keeps rabbits and chickens together and asks that?
"Don't worry, if it's Kaguya-chan, she'll definitely know." Fujiwara beamed. "Kaguya, please answer."