Nascita Coffee House — Underground Base
"Hey! Hello?! Do you even realize what you've done? How could you bring a wanted criminal back here?!"
With theatrical outrage, the stylish middle-aged café owner—Sōichi Isurugi—was in full performance mode, channeling a decade's worth of acting skill he'd picked up since arriving on Earth. And boy, he wasn't holding back.
Of course, what the others didn't know was that this dramatic, slightly flamboyant man was no ordinary coffee slinger.
He was Evolto—an extraterrestrial lifeform from the Blood Star. The same Evolto who, countless years ago, waged a war that decimated the Martian civilization before being sealed away by the Martian princess. He would've stayed sealed too, if not for astronaut Sōichi's fateful landing on Mars ten years prior, giving him the chance to possess a new host body.
As for me—Wanzhang Long Wo—my very existence was born from Evolto's genetics. The war rabbit's memories? Also wiped by him. All part of E's grand plan to regain power by grooming both me and Kiryuu Sento into heroes… only to manipulate us until he was ready to strike.
Of course, he eventually got bodied by the same heroes he helped create. That's why fans gave him titles like "General E," "Snake Skin Bastard," and "The Waviest Boss in History." He was so beloved, they even tried to redeem him in a later movie. A villain who literally wanted to destroy Earth… getting a redemption arc. Can you believe it?
"I had no choice!" Sento argued, scratching his head sheepishly. "If we sent him back to jail, they'd just throw him into human experiments again!"
"What do you mean 'human experiments'?" Sōichi's eyes narrowed, and he seized the opening with practiced ease. His performance was flawless. The caring father, the concerned mentor—all a cover.
Of course, I knew the real reason for all this: Evolto wanted me here. He was just playing his part. If he actually succeeded in convincing Sento not to bring me in, he'd probably cry in the shower later.
"What he's saying matches the images in my memory," Sento added. "We were both subjected to the Smash experiments."
"Then why didn't either of you turn into a Smash? And why didn't he lose his memory?" Sōichi's tone sharpened. "More importantly—does he remember where the lab is?"
"He says he forgot…" Sento glanced toward me, clearly annoyed.
Sōichi's face twitched. He had purposely left breadcrumbs so we could find that lab again… and now this clown forgot?!
I shrugged. What could I say? If the plot progressed too fast and I didn't have time to build rapport with Sento, I might never get my hands on a transformation item. And that would be a catastrophic loss.
"Well," I offered smoothly, "if we can prove that I was framed, it might lead us straight to the human experimentation group—and that creepy Bat-Mask guy from my memory."
That got their attention.
In a flash, Sento and Sōichi appeared in front of me, each grabbing a shoulder.
"Tell us everything you know!" Sento demanded.
"Sure," I nodded, smugly. "What do you wanna know?"
"All of it!"
"Well then, I was born in Yokohama Hospital's obstetrics ward. I weighed 3.8 kilograms, and—"
"STOP. I meant everything relevant!" Sento groaned.
"Alright, alright." I raised my hands in mock surrender. Hey, you're the one who didn't specify.
Little did they realize… in brushing me off, they'd unknowingly dodged a chance to uncover my real origins. Tragic.
"I got a job offer from a scientist. Went to meet him, only to find he was already dead. And then bam—police burst in and arrested me on the spot."
"Pfft—what kind of dumb setup is that?" Sōichi scoffed, raising a hand dramatically.
Bro, YOU wrote that part! I rolled my eyes at him.
Before I could continue, a strange metallic clang echoed behind us.
The microwave oven—yes, the microwave oven—popped open with a ding, and the hidden door beside it slid open. A girl walked out, wearing a quirky metal bracelet and an expression of disinterest.
This was Misora Isurugi—Sōichi's daughter. Though she didn't know it yet, the bracelet on her wrist housed the power of the Martian princess. With it, she could purify Smash essence and convert it into usable Full Bottles.
That power was exactly why Evolto kept this whole circus going.
"Ohoho!" Sento rushed over, pulling a bottle out of the machine. "That Smash turned into a gorilla! I'm amazing!"
"Excuse me, that's my contribution," Misora grumbled.
"Wow! Who's this beautiful girl?" I said, turning on my "innocent charm" mode and smiling brightly.
Truth be told, pretending to be clueless when I knew everything was exhausting. I didn't know how General E had kept this act up for a full decade.
But hey, I needed to gain trust—and maybe even props—from Kiryuu Sento, aka the most infamously gearless Rider in Heisei history. A little acting was worth the trouble.
"Hey, that's my line!" Misora flushed at the compliment but quickly composed herself. Girls must stay reserved, she reminded herself.
"Oh wait—who's that beauty?" I suddenly turned and pointed toward the stairs.
"What are you talking about? Misora's the only girl here…" Sento trailed off.
"No!" Sōichi's voice sharpened. "There is someone!"
"HUH?! WHO?!"
With a nervous laugh, a woman stepped out from the staircase. "Ahem, name's Sawa Takigawa. Freelance journalist. I overheard your chat and figured I could help investigate."
"Dad!! Why didn't you lock the door?!" Misora exploded.
"I—I did! I swear I did!" Sōichi stammered under their glares.
"Don't you remember last night?" Sawa said sweetly. "We saw that Smash down by the port? The one from Daming Lake?"
"Wait, YOU were there?" Sento blinked. "You're the person I saved!"
"That's right." She held up a small matchbox with the Nascita Coffee House logo. "You dropped this."
"Ahhhhhh!" Now it was Sento's turn to get glared at.
Of course, this was a lie. She found the matchbox in the café upstairs—after spying on them. The underground base door had, in fact, been closed. E just happened to leave the location exposed. What a coincidence…
"Relax," Sawa said. "I'm just here to say thanks. Although, if I could snag an interview with Kamen Rider too, that'd be perfect~"
"Absolutely not!" Sento snapped.
"Are you sure?" she replied with a smile that somehow conveyed the weight of a death threat.
"You… wicked woman!" Misora gasped. "The world is full of liars!"
"…Fine," Sōichi finally relented. "We'll allow it. But only under the condition that our identities remain secret."
"Ugh, this is the worst," Sento muttered, raking his hand through his hair.