For example, she's found herself growing quite dependent on food. It's more so the flavor experience rather than the sustenance, but it's a dependency nonetheless. She expects to enjoy multiple tasty meals per day, and if she's exposed to a particularly enticing aroma unexpectedly, she finds herself highly compelled to indulge in the associated food. If she misses regular meals, or is unable to satiate such a craving, she becomes irritable to the point that it affects her mood if not her actions.
She has also developed a similar dissatisfaction with her human form's physical sensitivity and sex drive. If she's even in direct contact with Mizuki too long and can't...act on it, she has trouble not fixating on the discomfort. Such problems existed when she lived as a dragon, but not to anywhere near the severity. Otherwise, she'd have been driven mad by her millennia of abstinence. Or worse, she'd have just thrown herself at Veyron or Halzar to mate.
To make matters worse, it is not just a greater dependency on physical intimacy that seems to result from prolonged existence in her human form. In addition, she's noticed that her emotions in general seem less...tempered, than they once were. All of these heightened sensations elicited during experiences with Mizuki, and even some other people like Alto and Zara, have become intertwined with her memories and impressions of those people.
Already, Mizuki's inherent presence or absence has begun to elicit feelings of pleasure or dissatisfaction from her, respectively. In essence, she's started to develop an emotional attachment to Mizuki that she feels borders on dependency, and therefore weakness. This level of attachment is something she could never have imagined experiencing as a dragon, and she worries that it's only a matter of time before it extends to others.
Though this hasn't led to actions or decisions on her part that she personally views as problematic, she can't help but acknowledge that it has affected her. Namely, she's found her decisions to be more and more emotionally motivated where her relationship with Mizuki is concerned. A case and point would be 'letting slip' earlier to the elves of Eden that he is her husband.
Why did she do it? She's said before that it's because she doesn't like seeing her mate disrespected, which would be fixed if Mizuki was known as her husband, and it's certainly true that she feels that way. However, it's also true that a larger part of her frustration stems from how...possessive, she's started to feel about her access to Mizuki.
She loathes not being able to touch him however and whenever she wants, or to call him whatever she wants, or to act on his behalf however she wants. Essentially, she's become increasingly annoyed that she can't act on her blossoming impulses, physical and emotional, towards Mizuki, because she has to continue this charade that he's her servant. Yet, she'd see admitting this to him as a sign of weakness, and so she's been left with compounding frustration over the situation.
Today, she decided in the spur of the moment that, with everything else getting revealed, she couldn't resist the urge to reveal his status as her husband. Then, she'd finally have some relief. Now, however, she can't help but be annoyed that she succumbed to such an impulse, seeing it as a different but just as problematic symptom of her growing 'weakness'.
She lets out a deep sigh.
Ultimately, these are just some of several examples of how constantly living with her human form's differing sensations and perspective have been slowly altering her thoughts and behavior. While these changes ultimately only amount to unfamiliar urges or new attachments to people and things, urges which she can still satisfy appropriately, she sees them as vulnerabilities that didn't exist for her before meeting Mizuki and taking human form.
As a dragon, avoiding weakness is ingrained into her very being. So, these changes have caused her considerable stress. And yet, she is not sure what can be done about this 'problem'.
She runs her finger across her lips playfully, deep in thought.
'Should I spend more time in my natural form?'
She immediately feels a rush of disgust at the thought of separating herself from Mizuki to the degree that her cumbersome dragon form would require. Plus, she wonders if it'd really matter at this point - would those feelings and impulses go away just because she's not in her human form, now that they've taken root?
This only sends her into another spell of frustration, her aversion to leaving human form only reinforcing her perception of her new 'weakness'.
"Huh...and here I thought I'd be the one to strangle Jorah to death one day." (Alara)
Nina's eyes snap to attention at the sound of the new voice, taking in the scene around her.
She, Alto, Zara, Alara, and Alyse have been sitting in the family room as Mizuki explained the events from their earlier visit with the elves, including his 'accident' with Jorah. Finding none of the information new, and preoccupied with her thoughts, she's mostly tuned Mizuki out as he spoke.
Now, though, her gaze slides towards him, next to her on the couch. He's leaned back into the cushions casually, his demeanor calm but solemn as he looks at Alara.
Her eyes subconsciously trace the side of his face, taking in his bright green eyes, the way his short, wavy, brown hair curls near his ears, and the sharp set of his jaw that tells her he's slightly on edge. Her eyes continue down, inspecting the way his silk shirt clings to his lean, toned torso. She can almost swear that she sees the faint outline of abdominal muscles, and she feels a small rush of excitement at the observation. However, after looking at him closely for several moments, she raises her eyebrows in surprise.
'He seems even more...appealing, than when I first met him. Has he changed, or am I just seeing him differently now? Is this another consequence of staying in this form for so long, maybe a symptom of my growing attachment to him?'
She purses her lips thoughtfully, taking the opportunity to lean over on the couch and nuzzle her head into his side. To her surprise, Mizuki merely raises an eyebrow at the action before sliding his arm around her and allowing her to cuddle against him.
She can't help but let out a small smile at his response.
She could clearly feel when they took a seat in this room earlier that he was quite annoyed by her revealing their relationship status to the elves of Eden. It's an annoyance that she can still feel from him now, even though it's lessened as he's been recounting events to the others. Yet, despite his dissatisfaction, he hasn't hesitated to treat her warmly like this, nor has he addressed her in anger.
She can even surmise through their Bond that, despite this being the most recent of numerous instances where she inconvenienced him, his trust towards her hasn't taken a blow. This is partly because she's never pushed him too far with these setbacks, knowing where his bottom line is. However, it's also because Mizuki seems to recognize that such instances have stemmed from her willfulness or pride rather than stupidity or incompetence, and he seems to understand and sympathize with her feelings that motivated such actions.
Truthfully, this thoughtfulness and consideration towards her are qualities of his that she's come to quite appreciate, and seeing them in action now causes an all-to-familiar wave of intense sensations to wash over her human body. The sudden feelings compel her to press into him a little more tightly, her smile threatening to return to her lips.
'Maybe I should tell him about my concerns regarding this form of mine. He might be able to help...'
She feels Mizuki sigh.
"This isn't exactly a joking matter, Alara." (Mizuki)
Alara snorts playfully from the opposing couch, where she's seated with Alyse and Zara. She leans her cheek into her palm, propping herself on the arm of the couch as she raises her eyebrows.
"Who's joking? Certainly not me. It's just Jorah, after all. Honestly, I don't think this is anything to lose sleep over, especially since he left in one piece and nobody who was there is holding it against you." (Alara)
The exchange jars Nina from her thoughts. Hearing Alara express similar sentiments to her own, she casts an approving look at the elf, her voice thick with amusement.
"Fufufu...well said, Alara. I'm pleased I'm not the only one giving Mizuki sensible advice on this matter." (Nina)
Just as she sees Alara smirk appreciatively, she feels a flick on her forehead, and glances up in surprise to see Mizuki giving her a disapproving look.
"Sensible isn't a word you should be using with a straight face, wife. Have you already forgotten about the ruckus you just caused outside? Honestly, I'm not sure we'll be able to walk around the city in peace together again any time soon." (Mizuki)
Despite his mocking tone, she can sense his stress over the situation with Jorah lessen in real time at her words. So, she just shrugs and gives him a coy smile.
"Oh dear, you think so? I suppose we'll just have to lock ourselves away somewhere private until this blows over then. Any ideas for how you'd like to pass the time?" (Nina)
She winks at him suggestively as she poses the last question, and is satisfied to hear his heartbeat quicken from her vantage point nuzzled against his chest. To her great amusement, though, he doesn't appear outwardly flustered and merely rolls his eyes before looking away.
"I happen to agree with them as well, Mizuki. While I must admit that your response was uncharacteristically severe, I also don't think it was completely unreasonable given the context and your history with Jorah. If there is any lingering discontent among the nobles over your actions, I'll work to soothe it on your behalf, and I'm sure that Ilina will do the same. You shouldn't concern yourself with this further." (Alto)
Nina glances at Alto in surprise. Alto is merely staring at Mizuki, her gaze full of sincerity and exuding a quiet confidence. She can practically feel the pure loyalty emanating from Alto, and it reminds her of her earlier thoughts about the young elf.
Her eyes scan over Alto approvingly, admiring her piercing, sapphire eyes that are fixated on Mizuki with an affection as deep as it is subtle. She can't help but smile knowingly at the exchange.
Alto's blue eyes flicker briefly, seemingly catching Nina's gaze on her, and she raises her eyebrows inquisitively.
"Something to add, Nina?" (Alto)
She smirks shamelessly at Alto's question, her tone carrying hints of amusement and a teasing edge.
"Hmm...no, don't mind me. Just lost in thought." (Nina)
Alto's eyes narrow slightly, meeting hers for several moments in silence. Then, Alto purses her lips thoughtfully before shifting her gaze away without another word.
"Zara, Alyse...I assume that you agree as well?" (Alto)
Zara nods emotionlessly.
"Naturally." (Zara)
Alyse, who is mid-sip with a cup of tea, nearly spits it back into her cup in her hurry to respond. She smiles sheepishly at Alto.
"Oh, uhm...yeah, totally. You're clearly correct...Jorah's not worth worrying about." (Alyse)
Nina raises her eyebrow, her dragon instincts not missing Alyse's flustered disposition.
'My, my...this elf's worse off than I am. I wonder if poor Alto even knows how to deal with someone this horny...'
Alas, she can only shake her head as she notices Alto nod at Zara and Alyse with a calm, oblivious expression before returning her attention to Mizuki. Alto nods at him affirmatively.
"It's settled, then." (Alto)