(Y/n)'s POV
The plan was simple, and it didn't seem too complicated, we had to find the target alone. Thanks to Ron, our master strategist, we found the perfect time to ask him. He saw him always being by himself in his classroom after lunch, so we took the chance.
Hermione had the job of asking him to sign the note she was carrying, why? Because she always approaches Professors to ask them about things they went over the class, and because, she just made sense for this.
Me and Harry... Well, we just had to stand there and look tough. Which was difficult by itself, because Harry just got out of a class in which he had to act like a werewolf, and me... well, I was me, I wasn't exactly intimidating, though, most first years wouldn't say the same with the rumours I've heard.
Well, Ron was right, he was alone, and so, the three of us waited in the door, while Hermione went to talk to our target, the only one that has shown to be as, uh, I don't want to sound mean, but, gullible and self-centered.
Hermione seemed really nervous, though. I got worried about it for a second, thinking it may not work. She started to talk about one of his books, as an excuse. I thought she may crumble at any second.
"Ah, Gadding with Ghouls! Possibly my very favourite book. You enjoyed it?" He said, taking Hermione's note, her eyes lit up, and every trace of nervousness in her body vanished, instead making a face like those in the book signing when I first saw Lockhart.
"Oh, yes! So clever, the way you trapped that last one with the tea-strainer!"
"Well, I'm sure no one will mind giving the best student in the year a little extra help..." He started to talk about something else, I could hear the words Quidditch every now and then, honestly, I wasn't paying much attention, I just wanted to leave, just being in this classroom made me nervous because of all the times he tries to get me to talk and mock me.
I started to play with Blaze, but I think he noticed, our eyes met as I was looking at the whole classroom, and he very obviously didn't like not being heard, but instead of saying something to me, he chose to say something to the one he had closer to him.
"Given my wondrous experience, Miss Granger, I'd earnestly recommend you choose a better company, after many years, I can assess very quickly the kind of people that drags you down." He exclaimed loudly, looking at me.
I felt bad, and thought Hermione would say something to him, because I may not be the most perceptive kid, but even I can notice stuff like what Lockhart just did.
I waited for what felt like minutes, expecting my best friend to say anything, but that moment never came. In exchange, she just stared at him and nodded, which made the already existing tightness in my chest worse.
I couldn't hear what anyone else was saying, it's like it didn't matter anymore, all I could feel was that I wasn't breathing properly, and before the whole exchange finished, I left the room.
The others quickly caught up to me, and they were talking about something, but I couldn't shake the feeling off. I didn't even notice, and we were already in the out of order bathroom.
"I can't believe you didn't say anything to that brainless git," Ron said, with a bit of angryness in his tone. I understood he was angry because of what he said about me, even he realised it.
"I already told you, he's not a brainless git! Besides, in a way, he is right, I suppose," I couldn't believe what Hermione was saying.
"What is that even supposed to mean?" I asked, I felt anxious, because I never felt like this with her before, all this time, Hermione made me feel safe and calm, but now, I was feeling something I didn't even feel that often. I felt anger bubbling inside me, and starting to collapse.
How could my best friend not say anything to at least defend me in a way? Was I wrong for getting mad at her? Honestly, at this point, I wasn't even sure myself, all I knew was that someone said nasty stuff about me, and she agreed.
"Oh, come on (Y/n), you do tend to fall asleep in his classes, and, to be completely honest, you never write anything he says, and you never can answer anything he asks you, I'm not saying you drag me down or anything-"
She kept talking, as if she was right, as if she was just stating the obvious, like she usually does. I could feel something rising, the bubbling anger was building up faster and faster, burning my throat. My best friend, the one person who always made me feel calm, safe. Who made me feel like I belonged.
And for the first time, I just understood why Harry and Ron thought she was annoying in the beginning of first year.
"I never write anything down because all he says is rubbish!" I felt myself losing control over my voice, but I couldn't do anything about it.
"It's not rubbish, with everything he's written, he's an astonishingly good wizard, look at all the books he's written--" She tried arguing back, but I was losing it.
"You're only saying that because you like him!" I snapped back. I immediately regretted saying it. I never really felt like this, and I wasn't used to it, but I couldn't control my mouth. Hermione's face went just like Ron's hair, and for a moment, she looked too stunned to respond.
I regretted saying it, of course, but at the same time, I couldn't stop, every bit of anger finally leaving my body.
"And don't even try to deny it! It's so obvious I was a fool to try and think of an excuse to why you'd believe such nonsense from a git like him!"
"I wouldn't even care if it was something only he said, he's an idiot that only made us buy his books to waste money, and I'm used to him being a git" I could feel my eyes filling up with undesired tears, but my voice was getting louder and louder.
"I couldn't care less if he thinks I'm some kind of bad influence, but it hurts more that you think like that! Maybe we shouldn't have been friends at all if all you do is believe all the nasty things people will say about me." I turned so I could hide what I knew was coming, a few tears coming out of my eyes.
I couldn't think straight, every thought in my head was a blur, all I could feel was loneliness, how the only person in the world who I thought understood me didn't defend me, and it hit me, something that I shouldn't have believed, something I shouldn't have said, but at that time it made so much sense.
"Of course you'd believe those stupid rumours, you're just like anyone else, a prejudice idiot"
And after a silence that felt like forever, I ran as far away from there, anywhere except that bathroom, I felt overwhelmed.
I thought that friends were supposed to support each other, if she didn't do that, does that mean she doesn't feel like I'm her friend? Why would she even say something like that?
After running for a while, I stopped, and what happened finally got processed in my brain, I've never gotten this mad before.
Sure, Draco and his stunts usually got me annoyed, but now I felt genuinely angry, and the rumours would make me feel annoyed too, sometimes even bad about myself.
But this? I couldn't even fully describe it, feelings were way too complicated for me to even understand them.
She... she didn't even deny it, she didn't say anything, and went along with it, why would she even do that?...
I could stand Ron, and maybe Harry thinking that, but her? She's my first friend, my best friend.
A few more tears came out of my eyes, as I quietly sobbed in some random hall, but it didn't feel like it, I could hear noise, it didn't come from anywhere around me, as I was alone, it came from my head.
My emotions were all over the place, I felt frustrated, sad, angry. I couldn't keep my head in check, so I went to the one person who could make me think of nothing, the one who was teaching me how to keep my mind closed.
I started to walk through what I thought was an empty hall, but I saw, or rather, heard, something that caught my attention: a faint sound. A soft thump which made me look in the direction of the sound.
My eyes found three students, one from first year, and two older ones, the three of them were from Ravenclaw. The younger one caught my attention, though, she had blonde hair, but not like Malfoy's, hers looked more... natural, in a way, I think it's called dirty blonde?
Anyways, she was also very pale, and looked to be surprised, as her eyes were wide open. A bunch of parchments were around the ground, the blonde girl was probably carrying them.
"We're very sorry, Luna," Said one of the older ones, as I was approaching them, not to talk to them or anything, I was just passing by.
"It's okay," Said the blonde girl, who now I knew was called Luna, I didn't notice it before, but she wasn't wearing any shoes, I wouldn't have thought much about it, if it wasn't because the two older ones didn't answer her, and as they walked in front of me, I heard.
"Loony Lovegood," One of them muttered, as they snickered between themselves. Suddenly, I stopped walking, as I stared at the blonde girl, slowly picking up her parchments, it was obviously going to take her a while.
I couldn't stop thinking about what they said, Loony? Didn't they just say her name was Luna?
Either way, I felt bad, something about this whole scene felt weird, and if I wanted to change, I had to be the one doing things, I couldn't just stay still and wait for them to happen.
I took a deep breath, and quickly approached the girl. Determined to help her, and, in a way, help myself get rid of this... stupidity of mine. Besides, something about this girl was intriguing.
"H-Hey," She looked straight at me and I realised how silver her eyes were, they didn't look like any other eyes I've seen before, but what startled me was how she was looking at me. It felt like she was looking straight through me, or like she was looking at something behind me.
"Hello," I thought she was in surprise because of how wide her eyes were when she clashed with the other two older Ravenclaw students, but I noticed her eyes were still the same, which meant she always had this look, her eyes were big, not that it was a bad thing.
She simply smiled faintly, looked down, and kept on picking up parchments. I kind of expected her to say something else, but she didn't, maybe this was good, it was time I put in the effort, or so I say to convince myself.
The thing was, I couldn't find anything to say, not because I didn't want to, but because I knew nothing about her, with Hermione at least I knew she and I had things in common, but with this girl... Would it be seen as odd if I suddenly wanted to talk to her?
Instead of talking, I kneeled down beside her, and started helping her. She looked at me, staring right through me.
"What are you doing?" She asked, her voice was quiet, but at the same time, loud? I don't really know how to explain it.
"U-Uh... helping you?"
"Why?" She didn't seem suspicious of me, the tone of her voice conveyed genuine intrigue.
"Well, if I don't, uh... I'll feel bad about it at night," I should work on my improvisation, I'll get nowhere talking like this.
"Oh, that's nice," She looked down, picking up her parchments, "I don't usually worry about things at night, there are Wrackspurts then. They make your head go all fuzzy."
"Wrackspurts?" Wh-What is that? Uh, I've never actually heard that one before, could Hermione probably have heard about that?
"Yes, they're invisible. They hover around your ears and make your head all muddled," I never heard about them, but the way she was talking about them, it made you actually believe it, because she herself believed in it. I should probably look for them in the library.
"I didn't know that, uh, is that why you're not wearing your shoes? D-Did the Wrackspurts stole them"
"No, those are the Nargles, everyone knows that," She said, in a very matter-of-fact way.
"Oh, s-sorry, I guess... "I guess I should look out for them, they sound nasty..." I said, trying to keep the conversation going, and trying to not make her feel like I thought she was crazy. I did believe her.
She faintly smiled, and said,
"You should, they're tricky little things"
And after those words left my mouth, I noticed she already had all of her parchments on her hands again. And I could feel it, that weird sensation you get when you know the conversation is dying and it's about to end.
I didn't want it to just end like this. I felt a weird connection to this girl, like we had something in common, I just didn't know what. Until it clicked.
If she was talking about things that I've never heard before – which is a very odd thing to happen, because Hermione always talks about every little thing she's found while reading the whole library – then she probably was very open about what she thought.
The way she talks, the way she walks, the wand she has in her ear... even the way she looks at you, they're all things people love to point out. I would know, I've been feeling it since the start of the year. The stares, and worse of all. The name callings.
And that's probably what 'Loony' meant, a nickname, something to make her feel bad, to make her feel below everyone else. It made me angry. Just because she was different she had to be treated like that? Doesn't everyone deserve to be treated the same?
She didn't look like she minded it, though, or she covered it very well. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from her. The way she talked... It made me feel less alone.
I wouldn't let this go. I knew that if I did, I would regret it, if I wanted to change, I couldn't expect things to just flow. I had to act. I had to talk. If I want to fly... I need to leave the floor.
"Hey," I cleared my throat, "Do you... do you think you could teach me? I-I really like magical creatures, and I've never heard any of those you mentioned. D-do you have the time for it?"
She stared at me for a minute, literally, a minute, I started to count because I felt so anxious. I felt her eyes as if she was piercing me with them.
"Sure." She said, with her quiet voice, along with a smile, and she kept on walking. And me? I smiled to myself.
Maybe for other people it wouldn't feel like this, but for someone like me, who has never really had any other friends, to connect with someone, it felt like a big achievement. With Harry, Ron, and even Hermione, I had something to relate with them.
Harry, well, we both didn't really have any friends growing up, and we like similar things. With Ron, we have very similar types of humour, and he kind of came with Harry himself.
With Hermione... Well, we both love magic, we were in similar circumstances, excited about the future, I suppose.
With Luna, I had nothing, or at least, that's how it felt as of now. So being able to get her help in learning about what she knows. It felt big for me.
And, I don't know, it was exhilarating to talk with someone I never talked to before, it was a different kind of rush.
I had almost forgotten the argument I had with Hermione before. I shook my head. I'll deal with that later, right now I have to learn what Nargles are.
My heart filled with hope. Maybe I'll learn something from Luna.
I wish.
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A few days passed, and I was enjoying my time with Luna. I've learned more about her every passing day, and one of the first things I learned was that, well, she was odd.
Not in a mean or bad way, just odd. She loves talking about certain stuff in particular, like magical creatures, something we shared and something we talked about for hours, and she spends time teaching me about the creatures that she says exist.
But in general, only speaks when she feels she has something to add, or to explain her viewpoints. And about her beliefs, she never really backs down, it doesn't matter who she's talking to, she always stands up for what she believes, but also, doesn't shove them into anyone's face so that they'll accept it's true. I admire her for that.
And I believe her, she has this... feeling when she talks about those creatures, I don't fully know how to explain it, but there's no hesitation in her words, not a single doubt, only certainty, like she's telling me the sky is blue, or that birds fly. It makes it kind of hard not to believe her.
Also, she really likes helping other people, just... in her own way, and it doesn't come out as her being a good person, it almost always comes out as her being weird, or more rumours spreading, which makes me furious, but I've never really gotten to do anything about them, which makes me feel bad, too.
Oh, and she doesn't like dancing, apparently.
On one of the days I was walking with Luna, we came across Harry and Ron, they were coming out of the bathroom.
I just stood there for a second, a million thoughts going through my head, but one of them was bigger than any of them, it was a feeling. Shamefulness.
I couldn't form any words, and before they could approach me, or well, us, I left. I walked really fast just to get away from them. I was ashamed of what they had to see, and also, I was uncomfortable.
Both of them have been glancing at me during classes or lunch, but never really approached me, at least they tried to, for what? I don't know, and it made me anxious.
I don't even know what any of them said after I left, and I haven't talked to them in days. Did they defend me? Did they just move on from it? Did they even care? Maybe, I don't really know, but I know one thing, it feels like the only one who doesn't care at all is Hermione.
I haven't seen her a lot, or rather, the only place I see her is in classes, they're probably busy, doing the potion and all, but it hurts, she hasn't even tried to approach me, it feels like every bit of friendship I thought she had for me was thrown down the toilet.
It makes me sad to think about that, and I think it's normal, but it also annoys me. Why would she prefer the side of someone she just met this year and not the side of her supposed best friend? Just because he was handsome?
It was stupid to think about that, but at the same time, it made me feel bad, like I had a knot in my throat. Did she really only care about looks? I thought she was clever enough to notice the fraud he is, to see beyond the words written on simple paper.
I shook my head, that was not the time to think about it, right now, there were other things to focus on.
Why? Well, Luna wanted us to go on some kind of excursion? She used some weird words, and I wanted to get my mind off things, and that leads us to where we are right now.
The Forbidden Forest.
Now, some people might say that what we're doing is against the rules, and to them, I say, you're absolutely right. But Luna wanted to come, apparently, not a lot of people realise it when students go to the forest.
Or at least that's what Luna says, it seems that she ventures to the forest every once in a while since she started her year. She must like magical creatures more than me, I would never want to go alone into this forest, not after what happened last year.
Just remembering it makes me shiver.
Well, I don't think the forest will have another dark lord in it, it would be too much, and I would start to doubt the security of this place...
"(Y/n), you're too slow," Said Luna. She already got ahead of me, and I didn't even notice it. She, once again, wasn't weaning any shoes, something I started to realise even more often, she blamed the Nargles. Oh, and she also had a purse, she seemed to be carrying a bunch of stuff in it.
"Y-You're going too fast!" I nervously let out, as I fastened my step to reach her.
We walked for a bit more, with the usual remark from Luna about the creatures we saw, but aside from that, in silence.
"S-So, what are we looking for?" I asked, but she still didn't say why we came here. She stared at me blankly, without saying anything for a while.
"Nothing," She suddenly said
"T-Then, why are we out here?" I asked, looking around, to make sure nothing was stalking us.
"You looked dreadful, when I'm sad, I come here." Her sentence made me stop in my tracks, I looked sad? I didn't think she would notice it. Seriously, was I that obvious?
"Uh... since when?"
"Since we stumbled with those two boys outside of the bathroom, you seemed like you saw a ghost," It was kind of weird that she didn't recognize Harry Potter, but I suppose she chased after me rather quickly, so she didn't get a good look. Is she worried about me?
I gave out a faint smile, and directed my eyes around us again.
"Well... thank you, for worrying about me. In its own way, I think it's quite relaxing here." The sound of something stepping on a branch made me jump.
"And thank you for taking the time to teach me about the – um – Nargles and Wrackspurts, among other things," It was something we talked about the most.
"Oh, It's no problem at all. Although, you should really read The Quibbler. "
"What's The Quibbler?" I asked, and as soon as I said that, her eyes widened even more than the usual, flickering with sparks in it.
"It's quite an extraordinary reading, so much hidden truth in there, I think you'd enjoy it, here." She reached to her purse, and she pulled out a... magazine? I didn't even think she'd bring something like that to this place.
I grabbed it, and started to check it out while we walked, and one thing stood out to me, the name of the author of it, 'Xenophilius Lovegood'.
"Lovegood? Did your dad write this?"
"Yes, isn't it wonderful?" I kept reading and there was a lot of stuff in it, sightings of magical creatures I haven't really heard before, and different conspiracies.
"Y-Yeah, it is interesting, your dad has one heck of a name, too" I said, Xenophilius sounds really cool. Luna gave me a really big smile, and said,
"You can keep it, I have many copies of it."
"R-Really? Thanks a lot, Luna, I mean it." We kept on walking as she spoke.
"No problem" She gave out a smile, "Why did those two make you sad? Did you have a fight with them?" She said, as she continued to walk in front of me.
"Not really... I suppose I'm just ashamed they saw me in the way they did."
"Is that why you were crying when we first met?" Luna was fairly perceptive, even if one wouldn't think that of her. I suppose that's why she's a Ravenclaw.
"U-Uh, I thought I hid it very well..."
"You're not very good at hiding things" Her soft voice contradicted her way of being very openly blunt. It was refreshing, at least.
"I just – I don't want to annoy people with what I feel, but I guess I can't even do that right." I sighed, and continued, "I didn't fight with them, I had a fight with a really close friend in front of them, and I'm kind of embarrassed about it."
"That's stupid, why would you punish those two if you didn't have any problems with them?" Her words hit me hard, her soft voice contradicted her words, and I had to take a moment, as I was too stunned to respond.
"Uh, well..."
"Did they say anything to the other friend?"
"Well, yeah, Ron was mad at her for what she said..."
"If I were your friend, I'd be pretty confused about why you're avoiding me." This confused me, in a way, she phrased it as if we weren't friends.
"Uh, b-" I decided to take a bit of Luna, and put the same no hesitation she does when she talks, "I am your friend, Luna, u-unless you don't want to," I cursed myself for that last part, I didn't even think about it and it left my mouth.
She stopped walking, and I almost bumped into her, she was only showing me her back.
"That'd be nice," This time, I could tell she was smiling, not because I could see her, but because I could hear it in her voice.
What Luna said did open a bit of my eyes, why should I be ashamed at what they saw? They're my friends, they probably understand why I got angry, bloody hell, Ron even defended me a bit.
God, I was such an idiot, relationships are really hard to understand. Or maybe it's just my problem, everyone seems to have a better grasp at how to maintain them.
Before I could talk anymore, we arrived at a clearing. At first, I could not see anything, I just noticed Luna took out an apple. She must be hungry
I stood there, next to her, expecting her to eat the apple, but she extended her hand with the apple, and something happened that almost made me scream.
The apple was being eaten by air itself.
I guess Luna could feel my mouth agape.
"So you can't see them," In a rather sad tone, "I thought you might be able to, but it's fine."
"A-A-Are these the Nargles?" I asked, as the apple disappeared.
"No, they are called Thestrals, they're quite gentle, really," She took a moment, as she looked at the nothingness where the supposed 'Thestral' should be.
"You think I'm insane?" I looked at her, "I know what people call me, I'm not clueless,"
No, I don't, but I had to prove it to her. Prove to her that I believed her. I took a breath, and opened my mind's door towards the creature. And sure enough, there was something there, curiosity. It was weird to use Legilimency on animals, they had really pure thoughts.
I calmly extended my arm towards where the apple disappeared with my eyes closed, as I focused on the Legilimency. I was met with a strange feeling in my hand, sort of wet and warm.
D-Did the Thestral put my hand in its mouth? I opened my eyes, and calmly moved my hand to the side, where I felt something that felt like the side of a face.
"N-No, Luna, I don't," I opened my eyes slowly, and laughed a bit, seeing as I was practically caressing the air, but there was something there. "I've never even believed that, sure, you can be..." I paused for a moment, trying to think of nice words, to not hurt my friend.
"Eccentric, but... that isn't a bad thing at all. Mom always says to me that people will say mean stuff to you all the time if you're different, but I feel that, it's exactly because you're different that you're, w-well, you."
I thought what the other students said didn't affect her, and, most of the time, it is like that. But I think everyone has moments where the words find you at a low place. But it is nice to see Luna be... kind of vulnerable, it makes it feel like she, at least, trusts me enough for it.
"You're... uh..." I looked away, still caressing the invisible Thestral, the words I was about to say sounded kind of cheesy, in my mind, but I couldn't put it in better words, "You're just as sane as I am." My cheeks blushed a bit. Gosh... it felt so embarrassing to try and think of stuff to say to other people.
She said nothing, but when I looked at her, she was smiling, at least what I said worked...
"S-So, how come you can see them and I can't?"
"Only people who've seen death can see them," My whole body tensed up when she said this, and the cogs in my head started to turn, she has seen death? Who? It can't be his Dad, so–
"Your mom?" I covered my mouth with my other hand, once again, talking before thinking. Stupid.
"Yes, she was an extraordinary witch, she loved to experiment. One day, one of her spells went terribly wrong. Yes, it was rather horrible, I was nine," Why– How can she say it like... so nonchalantly?
"I-I'm s-so sorry Luna, I didn't know, I–"
"Don't worry, I do feel very sad about Mum sometimes, but I've got Dad, and you, now that we're friends." She carried her usual calm smile and open eyes, somehow... it made me feel better, more calm, I'm glad she can see me as someone like that.
The rest of the afternoon we spent it talking, I got to know much more of what she knew, and she asked me a few questions as well. We got to the castle and, luckily, no one saw us return from the forest.
When we got to the Great Hall, everyone was talking about the Quidditch match. I had so much fun I even forgot it was today. God, I've got to talk to Harry and Ron, Luna's right, they aren't at fault...
I said goodbye to Luna, but realised that, in that huge table that the Ravenclaws had, she was sitting alone. So, I took a big breath of air, and walked towards her.
"Wannahavelunchatourtable?" I... Well, I was nervous, I talk very fast when I'm nervous, and besides, it was the first time I invited a friend to sit with me, I didn't do well with first times. I was about to repeat myself, because she just stared at me.
"I'd love to! I've never eaten with a friend before." I smiled at her, and we went to the Gryffindor table.
I sat down, and Luna sat on my left, as I was about to start chomping down my food, Neville nudged my right shoulder.
"Where were you?"
"O-Oh, well... Ah, I guess it's fine if it's you, we were in the Forbidden Forest,"
"W-What? You're not supposed to go there, it's forbidden! Wait, we?" Luna put her head closer to the table, so that Neville could see her, as he didn't see her because I was blocking her,
"Hello, I'm Luna Lovegood, I'm (Y/n)'s friend," Neville stood there, not saying a word for a while.
"U-Uh– Neville?" I asked.
"Uh? Oh, yeah. It doesn't matter! Harry, he's in the hospital wing!"
"W-WHAT?!" I screamed, I didn't mean to, it attracted a lot of attention, it didn't help I inherited Mom's loud voice... but, at the moment, I didn't think about that, I didn't even listen to what Neville said.
I chomped down a chicken and a piece of bread down my throat, took a glass of juice in one sip, and gave Luna a look.
"I'll join you, you can be a bit teary sometimes,"
She said it with a serious and worried face at the same time, but I couldn't think about how grateful I was to her, but rather about going to see Harry, so I got up and ran with Luna following my steps.
I didn't listen to what they were shouting at me, I wasn't interested, I was only worried about my friend Harry and no one was going to stop me from seeing him.
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