Season: Summer
Weather: Hot with evening thunderstorm that may or may not herald a cool change.
Day of the week: Friday
Date: 3rd February, 2024
I had sick leave today. I was determined to complete my sick leave properly for once by doing absolutely nothing at all. Just lie there on my couch, hug Captain Hank Ted and maybe watch the world outside the window go by.
I'd watch television or a movie on my laptop if it didn't use up any extra electricity. Sadly, my analogue television had been left behind by the advent of the digital television and no longer worked. So even if I wanted to, I could only look at its blank screen and the reflections thereon. There wasn't much I wanted to watch on television these days anyway, so I wasn't fussed.
Sitting or lying around doing nothing was a dream from childhood that I was determined to fulfill today. There was nothing I needed to do. Nothing urgent, anyway.
Unfortunately, I spotted a gathering of dust bunnies behind the fridge and that was it. Without realising it, I went into full cleaning mode, forgetting to eat or drink water while I did a thorough spring cleaning in this summer heatwave. And then I must have overheated and passed out.
I was woken by my mobile phone ringing repeatedly somewhere far away where I couldn't reach it. My face was cushioned by a stinky dirty mop, and the cheek that had been pressed against the wet mop was all wrinkly and sore. There was a sharp pain on my head. When I reached up to touch, there was some drying, sticky blood. How long had I been lying here for?
Outside the window, the sky was overcast with pregnant, heavy clouds, while the wind had turned cold, making me shiver and my teeth chatter. The cool change was here. The sounds of large drips and drops spattered here and there, but it wasn't real rain. Not yet.
I'd gone from being hot and overheated to cold and feeling hypothermic, all in one day.
I tried to move, to get up off the ground, but I felt as if I had been glued down. Just touching my head just now was all I could manage for the moment. What had I gone and done now?
The ringtone of my phone began to sing again, telling me, 'don't stop, never give up'. I sighed. What an old and nostalgic song. I had set it as my ringtone when I was a teenager and bought a mobile phone for the first time, and then I had never changed it. It had just rolled over and followed me whenever I changed to a new phone and all the old information was ported over.
The song had gotten to the 'na na' section by the time I managed to gather myself to move a bit more. How badly had I fallen? Turning my head, I discovered a small pool of blood on the floor that had been partially soaked up by the mop and sighed. If Stony Boss heard about this or saw the predicament I was in, I would get a scolding, wouldn't I?
This was one of the problems of living alone with no nearby friends or relatives nearby to call on. People might never know if you had an accident at home until you died and stunk out the place. Even so, I hadn't had any problems in previous years. Why this year? What was it with this year after I started writing things in a journal that so many things have started to happen? Was it because I had previously complained that my life was boring and there was nothing to write about?
I took it back. I take it all back.
My life is way too eventful now. I don't like it. Is there any way to return to the boring healthy life of the daily grind?
My mobile phone stopped ringing and I heard a knocking at the front door, wondering who was here. Were they the ones who had been calling me non-stop? Who would be knocking at my front door?
Come to think of it,, how had he gotten here last time? Why couldn't I remember?
My mobile phone stopped ringing and then started from the beginning all over again. I had fallen in the kitchen, not too far from the front door. Only two or three metres away. My mobile phone was in the bedroom, likely more than five metres away. Too far away to get to.
The person knocking at the door paused and then started knocking again.
"Miss Brown, Jane, I know you're home. I can hear your mobile ringing. Open the door."
Oh. It was Stony Boss. What was he doing here?
I heard a neighbour pass by outside, grumbling at the noise Stony Boss was making and the repeated ringing of my phone. There were murmured voices outside and suddenly Stony Boss's hammering on the door became frantic with worry.
"Miss Brown, wake up and open the door. Let me know you're ok. Jane!"
I carefully moved one limb at a time and lifted my head. The world whirled and lurched in a blurry mess of nonsense, causing me to drop it back down. The swirl of unbearable nausea and discomfort assaulted my senses.
Closing my eyes against it, the next thing I knew was the voice of property management at the front door, and the jangling of his big bunch of keys. Stony Boss's voice was saying something, sounding thankful and then there was an exclamation.
Somebody was by my side.
"I'll call an ambulance," said the voice of the property manager. "That's a lot of blood."
"Jane. Miss Brown," I felt hands fluttering over me. Stony Boss's , most likely. "Wake up. Can you hear me?"
It was good he had come. Good that he had persisted to find a way to get into my apartment, otherwise I might have lain here until I slowly passed away.
I did my best to squeeze the hand holding mine.
"Hold on," Stony Boss told me, pushing the mop and mop bucket by me away to make more space. "Hold on, Jane. The ambulance is on its way. Stay with me, ok?"
I tried. I really tried, but I was so tired and feeling so unwell. My head hurt the most and the rest of me just felt cold and numb. Really, very cold.
I could feel Stony Boss trying to get more of a response from me, trying to get me to move each limb but just trying was enough to make me break out into a cold sweat. So tiring.
I'd gone and done it now, hadn't I? Nearly gone and done myself in.
Drifting in a dark sea, I didn't know when the ambulance came to take me to the hospital or what happened afterwards. When I woke up, I woke up late at night to find my journal and pen by my bedside. There was nobody around.
And so, as an exercise to tell myself that I was fine and try not to freak out over this massive headache and swirling pain, fighting through the double vision, I decided to try and at least write down today's entry.
But now, all this concentration and the effort of lifting my head and hand to write has made me cry. I feel so uncomfortable. My entire body aches and I still feel cold. So cold. So unwell. Am I going to die?