When we stopped, it was already past sunset. Before me, a newly started fire crackled quietly, its warm glow feeling brighter than it actually was, especially against the darkness caused by the thick ferns and gnarled roots surrounding our makeshift camp.
When the suns disappeared, we couldn't even see much of the stars above, thanks to their dense canopies. But where we stopped, it was a fine spot, as we had found a shallow creek not long before. It was also more by luck than design, as we couldn't lean on the Force for guidance. Just like me, Vila also experienced the same feeling when reaching out to the Force. She didn't feel it that strongly, but she could tell it was… off. Well, at least we had some water to drink, and it smelled, tasted, and felt perfect…. Especially cooling. The creek itself was even deep enough to bathe in if you were squatting in it. It's not that I minded smelling like mud and moss anymore, but Vila insisted we clean up as soon as we found it.
But… Well… Not that she said it aloud. She just started stripping without a word and walked right into the creek, leaving her clothes at the shore, forgetting to warn me.
I blinked my eyes, watching for a moment, caught completely off guard, not by what she was doing but by how casual she was about it. I could see that the chill of the water didn't even seem to faze her. She was half-turned toward me, finally using one hand to cover her front, not that I could see much… I mean… damn it. And then, our eyes met as she looked back over her shoulder.
"What?" she asked, catching my gaze. Honestly… There wasn't a hint of embarrassment in her tone.
"Nothing," I said quickly, finally looking away and starting to gather some wood, preparing to make the fire. "Just... you didn't waste time at all..."
"No point in waiting," she said with a faint smirk, which I could see without looking. "It's not like you haven't seen me in training gear. Not much different, really, I am not... Big. Honestly, you saw enough already; it is almost the same with or without a shirt or robe."
"Still…" I grumbled while she giggled and started to splash water on herself, beginning to clean up.
By the time she walked up to me, crouching beside me, the fire was ready, and I thought she was already dressed… But she wasn't.
"Go, enjoy it~!" she grinned, drying herself by the fire. " Do you want me to wash your back?"
"I'm fine… but thanks."
"Your call!" She nudged me as I walked past, and I could feel her looking at my back.
Ignoring it, a moment later, I was in the creek, too. The water indeed felt great as I scrubbed dirt and sweat from my body, enjoying how cool it was. What I could also feel was that she was still looking my way… I didn't need to glance at her to feel her gaze on me. She didn't shy away from peeping, and she didn't flinch when I returned, imitating her and using the fire to dry myself as our clothes were… wet from sweat. And smelled bad…
"We should wash our robes," I mumbled, trying to ignore the visible redness on my face.
"Agreed. It should dry out by morning if we hang it up above the fire. This jungle is humid as hell, so I don't see any other way to deal with it."
"Me neither," I muttered, wanting to go and do it, but she grabbed my hand, not letting me stand up.
"It can wait…" She muttered, sighing, slowly letting me go. I could feel it in her touch that… something was bothering her.
After shuffling a little and finding a larger pair of rocks, we sat down on them. She leaned close to me, closer than necessary, our skins touching. Looking at her, her lekku was draped before her chest while she rested her chin on her pulled-up knees, arms hugging them close. I let the silence remain between us while the dark night surrounded us. Subconsciously, to fight back against the dark, I stacked another piece of wood onto the fire… I had a feeling… It was best not to ask questions and just let the light dance before us.
"I was running again," she said finally, breaking the silence while I turned toward her, not saying anything yet, letting her continue. "I was about eight," she continued, her voice distant while her eyes looked at the fire, but she was clearly not here anymore. "I wasn't the only slave my owner had, and we were on a jungle planet, quite like this one, really. They... we were used as bait. Our job was to lure the beasts out so the poachers could capture or kill them. It depended on what the clients wanted: Food, a trophy, or a pet. Sometimes, it worked… Sometimes... it didn't. I saw multiple others fail to get away and serve as… dinner."
My stomach turned while listening to her. We did talk about it once or twice… but she never really went into much detail about how it actually was. Now, the words just kept spilling from her mouth.
"I was already Force-sensitive," she continued. "Of course, back then, I didn't know, nor did my owner realize it. But, after learning under Master Katarn, it all made sense. It also meant I was better at surviving than the others... They thought I was lucky… So, they used me more often." She chuckled without any humor while she drew a shaky breath. "The ones who couldn't run fast enough... they didn't make it… But I somehow always did…"
"Vila..." I started, but she shook her head, looking at me.
"Don't. Please… Kael, you don't have to feel sorry for me, nor do I want you to start to do so…" She said with straightforward honesty, "The past is in the past."
"Is it, though?" I asked reflexively.
"Maybe not…" She muttered, barely audible, "This place brought it all back... The fear and the panic..." She shivered, visibly shaking once beside me. "I was with Master Katarn, and I just… I simply looked away for a moment, and then... he was gone. The jungle was endless, and he just... Disappeared. Then, it was the same all over again. Part of my brain kept telling me it wasn't the case, but another part of me wasn't able to fight against the fear!" She turned her head toward me. The fire reflected in her eyes, making them shimmer. "I thought I escaped that part of my life," she murmured. "But this place seems to think otherwise… And I don't know anymore…."
I hesitated only a second before reaching out, and my hand found hers. She took it immediately, her fingers tightening around mine without question.
"You survived that," I said, looking into her eyes. "It is this place, not you. Remember our studies… Fear leads to the dark side, and this place tries to play on exactly that. Our fears. But we are better than that… And we are not alone anymore."
"Yeah," She kept looking at me, her gaze finally softening. "Not alone."
"Yep, you're not," I promised her without thinking, "Not now. Not ever."
There was a long silence between us again, but this one felt different as it was less heavy. Then, Vila shifted closer all of a sudden, tucking herself against my side, hugging my arms with two hands, making me stiffen for a moment. Then, her lekku brushed against my shoulder lightly as she leaned her head there, the contact between us feeling soft and especially pleasant.
"Sorry if I'm being clingy," she giggled.
"Um… You're not," I mumbled. "You're just... being honest."
"Oh? And," She chuckled, short and dry. "You want to say that's rare for me? Or what?"
"Huh? No!" I answered hurriedly, "You are pretty honest, especially with your body. I MEAN!" I yelped, noticing she was looking at my face, surprisingly curious as to what I was blabbering on about, "I mean, we trained a lot, and in our dueling, I already learned a lot about you. I know you are honest!"
"Uhum." She chuckled again, grinning teasingly, "Sure, sure."
"…"
"Hey, Kael, are you a–"
"Aren't you, too?" I cut in before she could finish her question, which made her laugh especially loudly.
"Well, yeah, but it still turns out I am better at this! Ahahaha!"
"Pervert…"
"Pft!" She kept giggling, ignoring my jab, snuggling up to me even more strongly.
Stil… I let her sit there as long as she needed. After everything she'd said and what we'd just been through, her touch felt… natural. Eventually, she shifted again, turning so she could look at me properly. Seeing that I wasn't moving my head, her hand brushed against my jaw, making me face her, lingering there for a second before she pulled it back.
"You knew it was me," she whispered. "Back there, in the illusion."
"Of course I knew," I replied, looking into her eyes, "I told you. I know you way too well… I felt it in the way you moved. I remembered... all those times we trained together. You're part of my rhythm."
"Heh," A small smile tugged at her lips, listening to me. "Turns out that you're not so bad at this after all. Well, ought to be as sensing things, you know, supposed to be your specialty."
"Are you mocking me, or is this some kind of backhanded compliment?"
"It is up to you to interpret it~!" She laughed, and then her expression turned thoughtful. "Have you ever wondered," she asked, voice barely above the fire's crackle, "what we'd be like if we weren't Jedi?"
"Huh?" I blinked my eyes, looking at her face instead of glancing downward, which was trying to tempt me. "That's a big question."
"I don't mean running away or abandoning anything. Just... If we aren't picked up and brought to the Academy."
I didn't have an answer right away... I never really thought about it. What indeed? I left home without much of an idea of what to do. What would I have become?
"I may have become a smuggler." I shrugged in the end. "I was always happy aboard ships, living in one, flying from system to system, and not having a fixed home…"
"Smuggler? Not a merchant?" She asked, surprised.
"Probably because I wasn't that fond of rules, after how it was back home. But that's just a guess! Why? What about you?"
"Me…" She smiled, but it was a sad one, "I think I would be a bad, bad girl, Kael. Very naughty."
"How bad?"
"Pirate level bad." She cooed, and I could tell she wasn't really joking. "Maybe I would have plundered you one day. They do say the Force makes people attract each other in strange ways."
"I think," I said finally, "That is correct. We, indeed, may have crossed paths even without the Academy. I also feel like it."
"Hmm," She smiled again, much happier this time. "Good answer."
Then, without warning, she leaned in and kissed my cheek, light but incredibly… hot. She didn't pull away immediately either, resting her forehead against mine, eyes closed.
"I'm still scared," she whispered.
"So am I," I answered honestly because this jungle wasn't relenting… only our joined presence was enough to be able to ignore it.
"But this helps."
"Yeah," I murmured. "It really does."
We didn't speak after that. There was no need, really. We just sat there in the quiet, the jungle around us still as dark as ever, waiting, feeling as if it was looking like a chink in our joined armor, to give us some extra paranoia thanks to the heavy night ahead of us... But right now, it had no grip on us, not like this.