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Chapter 13 - Shame

Why did people like the Arcane Knights? This was a question people who have never met an Arcane Knight might ask.

To some, those who have never laid eyes on the Knights would wonder why they existed. After all, knights and the concept of them were old. The modern world uses war in vastly different ways than the knights of the past, and things like armored warriors riding in on horses were nothing compared to hyper-fast magitech jets. Knights were created in the time of Haru because back then being a knight was the closest thing many had to standing alongside Haru.

Now that she was gone, though, thousands of years later, when magitech reigned supreme and humans lived behind city walls, was there really a reason for Knights to still exist?

Those who did see the Knights would all say one thing. Their faith and hope for a better world would be rekindled.

In a world where nature could change on a dime, portals through space and time could randomly open, and ancient, powerful beasts could awaken at any moment, the Arcane Knights were the only thing there that could stop the threats that plagued humanity.

On a little boat out in the middle of the Estiria Sea, the crew known as the Oak-Sailors had just met who they thought was an Arcane Knight.

"Can you show us your armor again?" One of the sailors asked Davi.

"Well," Davi rubbed the back of his neck, clearly not used to all the attention he was getting. 'I could, but I don't want to, so no.' At least, that was what he thought, but he didn't actually say it out loud. Instead, he just remained there, silent as dozens of questions were thrown his way.

"You jumped right at that whale and managed to send it packing in one strike!" Another sailor exclaimed.

'Actually, I hit it a bunch. Get your facts straight, dummy.'

"Is that a burn mark on your face? It looks so cool."

'It's a frostbite wound, and I hate it; don't bring it up anymore; it makes me mad.'

"What guild are you in?"

'Whichever one is the coolest.'

"Will you marry my daughter?"

'...Maybe.'

"What kind of magic do you have?"

'The cool kind.'

"How long have you been an Arcane Knight for?"

'Fuck you, that's how long.'

"I tried looking you up online, but your name won't pop up, and I keep getting blocked. Are you a Kingdom secret or something?"

'Fuck you, as well.'

"Are you planning on traveling with us for a while?"

'No, I hate it here.' Davi sighed slightly and folded his arms, looking somewhat annoyed as more questions were rattled off, and he refused to answer any of them out loud. Even putting his headphones on and blasting his music at full blast didn't cause the men to back down. All it did was make them yell their questions at him louder in order to drown out his rock music.

The battle with the whale had finally come to an end, and both whales were likely sinking to the bottom of the dungeon, trapped by Olis's spell. The boat hadn't sunk either since they escaped, so Olis's magic worked. Now that the danger finally seemed like it was going to be over, the entire crew had suddenly latched onto Davi, asking him all sorts of questions.

"Why's he even getting any attention?" Olis frowned slightly. He, as well as Olivia and the ship's captain, were the only three people who hadn't crowded around Davi. "I get he stopped the whale the first time, but it came back. He didn't really do much."

"Are you a bit jealous?" Olivia asked, grinning slightly. She leaned against the railing of the boat casually. "Sad, no one is praising you anymore?"

Olis shook his head. "If anyone should be getting the praise, it's you."

"Me?" Olivia looked taken aback and raised an eyebrow. "Why do you say that?"

"I could only stop the whale and fix the boat because of you," Olis admitted. "If you hadn't said anything to me, I don't think I would have acted. This ship would have sunk, and we'd all be dead, or worse, Mutants. You helped save everyone. I got some praise, and now that Knight is getting praised as well, but no one even told you, Good job."

Olivia folded her arms and hummed. Her smile returned slightly, and she shook her head. "In that case, Davi really does deserve it. You're saying I do because I told you a few words? Well, he's the reason I was even able to say those words in the first place. He saved my life and helped get me to where I am now. I'd be dead without him. I'm not joking either. He saved me a whole bunch already."

"Is he seriously that amazing?" Olis asked, stunned.

"Almost as amazing as the Lance of Estiria or the first Arcane Knight I ever saw." Olivia nodded, a little smug that she was getting to go on an adventure with such a strong Knight like Davi.

"I feel a little bad now," Olis said, fiddling with his staff.

"Why?"

"I think I judged him too harshly." Olis gripped his staff, his knuckles turning white. "I was just a bit put off by how his mana felt. I didn't like it. I actually thought that he could have been a Magical Mutant. It only got worse when I saw that armor he summoned."

"His armor freaked me out a bit, too," Olivia admitted. "Knights typically wear armor that shines from how polished it is, and they show up on the back of a horse. Davi stepped out of the darkness, cloaked in shadows, ready to tear anything that gets in his way down. He's more like a dark avenger than a Knight, but he's still a good person, even despite that. He has kind eyes and is always helping people."

People were judged by how they looked or what they could do. It was a sad truth, but one Olivia had learned growing up since she was constantly mocked due to her blood magic being seen as weak and useless. Most people would see something and instantly put a label on it and not bother to look deeper. Once a type of magic was labeled as worthless, that's all it would ever be to the rest of the world, and once a person's appearance was described as ugly or evil-looking, that was how it would be judged as well.

Outside of his armor, Davi looked a little handsome, despite the scar. He was approachable and seemed chill, at least until you started talking to him and realized he was flat and dull. Once his suit appeared around him, though, it was hard to look at him. The armor sucked in all light and looked almost depressing. It was like two sides of a coin.

Knights were old-fashioned since entering dungeons shut down most magitech, leading to them relying on armor and weapons such as swords, but even Arcane Knights dressed less like actual knights and more like armored superheroes. Davi really stood out because his armor was really old-fashioned and looked like straight-up medieval plate mail.

"Maybe I should tell him I'm sorry."

Olis's words tore Olivia from her thoughts, and she turned to look back at the brown-haired teen. "I don't think you have to. I doubt Davi wants an apology for anything."

"Do you know him that well?"

Olivia shrugged. "Not really. We just started traveling together."

Olis managed a nod and smiled. "I see. Well, still, I'm glad you two boarded our ship. You have blood magic, right? Could I see it?"

Olivia looked a little surprised and gently fiddled with her wand, even more embarrassed. "You want to see me cast a spell?"

"Yeah." Olis chuckled. "They say you can tell how much dedication a mage puts into their magic based on how well they can control their mana." Olis lifted his staff and held it out. "Row Flower Form!" The tip of his staff glowed with a bright green color, and all along it, pink flowers began to sprout. One in particular grew at the very tip of it. It looked like a white rose and strangely smelled of strawberries. Without missing a beat, Olis plucked the flower and tucked it behind Olivia's ear. "Your turn."

Olivia cleared her throat and attempted to steady her heart, which was beating traitorously fast. She hadn't met many boys growing up, so this was all new to her. Was Olis just being kind, or was he flirting with her? Did it matter? Did she like it? She had no clue.

"Here goes nothing." Olivia held her wand out, and she muttered a spell. "Row Blood Flower!" She spun her wand, and from the tip, crimson began to swirl together. Her face became a little more pale, and her rapid heartbeat now no longer had to do with embarrassment—a blood-red flower formed at the very tip of her wand, just as big as Olis's.

The flower lifted off her wand and floated in the air, carried by an invisible wave of wind, before popping like a bubble and splashing into the sea below. Hopefully, it wouldn't attract any sharks.

Olis's grin grew, and he tapped his staff down a little harder. "Vil Flower Garden." From where his staff touched the deck of the ship, the wood glowed, and colorful flowers and grass began to form over the deck of the vessel, coating everything in greenery. Many of the sailors had taken notice of the spell and turned to watch the exchange. Olis looked back at Olivia and nodded. "Your turn."

Olivia tried to force a smile, but the world was still spinning. She had already cast two spells today and was getting tired. "I think that's it from me." She said softly, attempting not to throw up. The ship's rocking wasn't helping, and she suddenly began to feel seasick. She didn't always throw up on her third spell and could sometimes hold it in and be fine, but being on a moving boat wasn't doing any favors.

"What?" One of the sailors looked a little annoyed. "Come on, we don't get to see any other spell besides Olis's; show us what you can do."

"Yeah!" Another said. "Come on, little lady, you can do better, right?"

"Keep the show going! Make like a big tree or something?"

"Make an animal; I'm tired of plants!"

Olivia let out another shaking laugh and rubbed her neck. "I can do something tomorrow; we're still going to be on this ship for a while."

"Please?" Olivia felt her heart twitch again, and her eyes met Olis's. He had looked cowardly and depressed earlier, but something about the way he now stood and the smile he had on his face was different. He wasn't like any of the boys that were in the village. Olis was exotic in a way, and that smile pierced into her soul.

It was a stupid idea. Even if she didn't vomit, she'd be flat on her back for a bit just from casting another spell. There was no reason she should risk it, and she should have stood her ground, yet Olis's eyes kept staring into hers, and she wasn't able to think straight.

"I'd really like to see what else you can." The boy reached up and adjusted the flower that was in her hair. "One spell? What's the harm?"

She was such an idiot.

Olivia gulped down the breath she was holding, and she sighed. She closed her eyes, regained her thoughts, and held her wand up. "Row Blood Hawk!"

Creating a construct out of magic, like a sword or armor, was easy for most mages. Creating something sentient, like an animal, was much harder. Ash's best spell was a bird constructed out of wind. She had never tried to make one before now, and as her mana began to flow out, she began to realize just how talented Ash was.

A mage's imagination was one thing required for casting a spell. The final part of a spell was known as the intent, and the mage had to visualize what they wanted to cast. When she wanted to make a dagger, she had to not just think of what a dagger would look like, but how it worked and how it felt. She had to imagine the weight and how sharp it was and then picture the blood within her body taking the place of the knife and forcing the construct into reality. 

That was the easy part.

After imagining what she wanted to create, she then had to keep that image stuck in her mind without her thoughts wandering and would then need to force her mana out and make it bend and shape. Controlling mana was like having a third arm or hand. The mana would have to take on the perfect shape she had in her mind and fill it in. After that, her type would mold over the raw mana, which in this case was blood, and once it was done, a knife would be born into existence. Some mages could create new matter like Olis did, painting something brand new into reality, while others like her had to use a resource and reshape it.

Creating a knife was easy once she got the hang of it. Making an animal out of her blood was much harder. Not only did she have to imagine the creature, she had to picture it alive. Its organs and cells, all of which would have to be molded and shaped out of her blood, and she had to picture it in motion. It was like building a statue of a bird using only your memory while blindfolded, all the while the bird kept moving, forcing the statue to be destroyed and rebuilt in real time.

The end result?

She failed.

The blood formed out of the tip of her wand and began to take a bird-like shape, but it only got about halfway before it suddenly rapidly began to expand and became some weird blood bubble. It was bloated, and a hawk-like head poked out of it, and then it exploded, sending a puddle of blood crashing down.

Her legs gave out as well, and she lost the ability to control her body. The rocking of the ship proved too much, and as she fell, she also threw up all over herself and crashed down in her blood, landing and lying there in humiliation. Silence descended on the boat, and no one said a word. She remained face down in her own filth, and in that moment, she just wanted to die. Her stomach was killing her, and she felt like she was going to black out. She knew she shouldn't have tried to show off or cast more than she should have, and now she was paying for it.

The silence was then shattered by laughter. All of the sailors began to laugh their asses off, seemingly finding the entire situation hilarious. It made her cheeks burn even worse, and she tried to look up at Olis, but he looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes.

"Did you see that?" One sailor asked, howling with laughter. "And here I thought all Knights were cool and epic. That was lame as hell."

"How is that magic useful?" Another one snickered. "She cast two spells and then vomited? Is she a baby or something?"

"Look how pale she is. Is she using her own blood for her spells? That's gotta suck."

"Talk about lame."

"I thought her magic type looked familiar. Aren't there loads of videos about mages with blood magic draining themselves to near death or something for a few spells?"

"Where did she even come from?"

"I think she was traveling with the Arcane Knight—"

There was a horrible cracking sound, and the entire ship once again went silent. In the boat's center was the mast, and everyone turned and found it now sported a jagged crack along it. A chunk was taken out of it, and Davi Hawker's fist resided in the middle of it. 

What made it really scary was the fact that the thing was made out of solid metal. Davi ripped his arm out of the mast and quietly walked over to Olivia. Everyone stayed silent, no longer finding the situation funny.

When Davi reached the downed girl, he glanced at Olis. The brown-haired boy tried to speak but found he lacked anything to say. Quietly, Olis shuffled away. Davi glanced back down at Olivia, who looked even more ashamed all of a sudden.

"Davi? I'm fine, I just need a—"

Davi dropped to his knees, ignoring how he was now in a pile of blood and vomit. Olivia let out a sudden yelp as he casually grabbed her and lifted her up. After that, he made his way to a set of stairs that were on the boat, which led below deck. The rest of the crew remained awkwardly standing in place, none of them following after.

Davi found a quiet corner, and he placed Olivia down. "Row Shadow Vault." Davi reached through his vault and pulled out a bucket of water and a towel. Finally, he spoke to her. "You okay?"

"Y-yeah," Olivia said, chuckling weakly. "Just got carried away a bit. It's my fault." She let out a squeal as he suddenly dumped the water over her.

"I don't have any more healing potions, so you'll just have to make do. I can help clean you up, though." Olivia half-glared at him but sighed. Some of the filth dripped off of her thanks to the water, and the shadows swallowed it up, sinking into Davi's vault. She took the towel from him and wiped herself down, getting rid of more of the filth. Her Lotus Academy uniform was basically ruined. 

"Thanks." She glanced back up at Davi, and he looked down at her. The look in his eyes was different from what she had been expecting. She thought it would be full of pity or disgust, but his eyes were strangely empty. They weren't the tired ones she had come to know in the short time she knew him and were the eyes he had when he was in his armor. "Are you okay?" This time it was her turn to ask him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Davi asked in his blunt tone. "I'm fine. I didn't get hit that much in the battle with the whale."

Olivia meekly nodded. She had meant emotionally, but of course, the boy wouldn't reveal how he actually felt. He was cold and distant. Like a real shadow.

"Davi?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I can become a Knight?" She curled slightly into a ball and put her head on her knees. She gently pulled the flower Olis had given her out of her hair and dropped it, the shadows devouring it. "When we first met, you got mad when I said I didn't like my blood magic, but it seems useless no matter what I try to do with it. I want to become a Knight, but is it possible with the skills I have?"

Davi rubbed his chin, then reached down and pressed his finger into the center of her forehead. "Why do you even want to become an Arcane Knight? You mentioned your father. Is it really just for him?"

Olivia moved her head back and let out another sigh. "He left me at Fri village and told me that if I ever wanted to reach him and see him again, I'd have to become an Arcane Knight. Part of me does want to see him again, but honestly, it's not my main drive for wanting to be a Knight."

"Okay? So what is it?"

She smiled softly and closed her eyes, picturing back to a few months ago. "As a kid, Bruno and I always discussed becoming Arcane Knights, but it wasn't until last year that I seriously dedicated myself to the cause," Olivia explained softly. "That was when I met her."

"Her?" Davi raised an eyebrow. He had been expecting a story about a dashing knight from the way Olivia looked so happy, thinking back. She was even blushing a bit. "Was it an Arcane Knight you met?"

"It was." Olivia giggled. "I stole a horse from farmer Jermy and tried to ride off on my own. Even before I met you, I had this desire to leave Fri. I made it to this town called Violet. I showed up at the wrong time, though. The town was being attacked by a pack of monsters called Hell Hounds. They're fiery, wolf-like monsters. They scared the horse, and I fell back and hit my head on a rock. The entire town was being overrun by the monsters, and I was bleeding badly from my wound. That was when 'she' showed up."

The image of the Arcane Knight appeared in her mind. It was a pretty girl with long silver hair and bright glowing eyes that looked like they were forged from moonlight. She had been dressed in a gown of glowing mana, and with a simple flick of her wand, she had cast a single spell and tore through all the Hell Hounds, killing them.

In less than a second, an Arcane Knight had saved Violet. 

"I got to talk to her," Olivia said softly. "She said she was on another mission but showed up when she sensed the monsters. In a way, she's a lot like you, just appearing and saving the day despite not being hired for it. Also, just like you, she refused any money and said she just wanted to help. She even healed all the villagers and me free of charge, and then when she found out I wasn't from Violet, she walked me back to my village!" Olivia practically squealed and clasped her hands together. "She was perfect. Absolutely perfect, and so pretty with her silver hair and moon-looking eyes." All the villagers had cheered the woman on and heralded her as a hero. The Knight had even fixed up the entire town. That woman was everything an Arcane Knight should be. A hero. "She really made me want to do it." Olivia's smile turned soft, and her eyes simmered with a wave of different emotions. "Before I met her, it was just some joke, but after talking to her, I wanted to become an Arcane Knight for real."

She could still remember every word that silver-haired beauty had said to her. When the two of them arrived at Fri, she had told the woman she wanted to become an Arcane Knight, and the woman had given her some advice.

"Stand tall. Do your best not to fall down, and when you do, get back up. Try. That's all you can do. Just try your best and make yourself happy with your own choice." Olivia repeated the words out loud and looked back at Davi. "That's why I want to be an Arcane Knight. Not just for my father, but for her. She was so nice and helped me out so much, just like you're doing. I want to properly thank her, and just like you and her, I want to try and help people. I promised her I'd see her again."

Davi kept staring down at her, and he looked away. She was a little surprised to see he looked a little uneasy and confused. It made her smile fade, but before she could ask him what was wrong, he began to speak once more. 

"Then it sounds like you have to become an Arcane Knight. You can't break a promise after all. My brother taught me that. So, there is no use in crying about your blood magic. Just try your best. If you're not good enough, just become better."

Olivia wanted to say more, but Davi walked away, not looking back at her, and Olivia was left wondering if she had said something wrong. She watched Davi head up the stairs and go back onto the deck, but she decided to stay below and not face the rest of the crew for a bit longer.

She just couldn't bear the shame.

Up top, Davi leaned over the railing and stared down at the water below. He met his reflection in the water, and his mind wandered. The phrase Olivia also said came to his mind. It sounded very familiar.

The sound of a throat clearing stopped Davi's thoughts, and he turned, finding the captain of the ship leaning on the rail next to him. "Can we talk for a moment, lad?"

"Sup?" Davi turned and hopped up onto the rails, sitting on them. "Anything I can help you with, boss man?"

"You're fake."

"Pardon?"

The captain glanced back at Davi, and their eyes met. "You're not real."

"I feel pretty real." Davi mumbled, and his eyes narrowed slightly.

"I don't mean like that. I mean in the way you act. You're a robot. Or at least the closest thing a human can be to one." The captain took a drag on a smoke pipe and blew the mist out toward Davi's face, who didn't flinch. "My grandfather kept a journal. One that was passed down through the family since it had all his secrets to being a good ship captain. In it he would sometimes talk about the people he met on his ship." The captain took another drag on his pipe. 

"Okay?"

"Your eyes. They're the same kind my grandfather described. They hold no light, and your shadow is deeper and darker than anyone else's. Just standing next to you, I feel a chill. You remind me of some of the people my grandpa once documented. He once claimed he met a construct in human form. 'Unfeeling and fake, yet able to pretend. A horrible creature that resembles us, yet it can not be. It hides its intentions behind a mask, and its eyes pretend to hold emotion when they're empty.' That's how my gramps described it. You're the same, aren't you? You don't act because it's the right thing to do, but rather because you think you should. Your eyes don't look at people but instead past them, and your ears don't listen to what others have to say. You don't exist. The real you is that armor. You don't exist outside of it. You just go through the motions of life until the time to slip into your true form appears. You're an unfeeling, uncaring creature that happens to be human. You're a robot."

Davi took everything the captain had to say in. "You're wrong." He finally responded in a flat tone.

"Am I?" The captain asked.

"Yeah. I do have emotions, and there are things I feel. I have a heart."

"Do you?"

'People judged based on what they first saw, but that was seldom the case. What appeared to be useless blood magic could be the key to creating the strongest mage, and what might look like an uncaring, scary knight could just be a scared little boy who had been hurt so much the pain had become numb.'

Davi didn't say any of that, though. Instead, he looked back out at the water and once again imagined himself as a bird, soaring through the skies perfectly free.

The captain was about to leave but stopped for a moment. "Please. Don't be a machine." And with those words, the man left, leaving Davi to his own devices.

Davi glanced back down at his reflection and thought about how if he were a bird that could fly, he'd use his wings to chase after the Dragon and tear it to bits with his claws and beak.

"I'll try real hard not to."

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