Adam spent the whole day in the room, not moving much. He woke up to stretch, he played automatron on his Pip-Boy, and he sat and did nothing. The day flew by while Adam rotted away in bed.
The next day came and Adam felt gross. He still was not himself, but he couldn't stay in bed any longer, he needed to do something. So he showered. The shower helped. Of course getting clean didn't change the reality but it did make him feel more human again. That was important.
Once Adam was out of the shower he didn't put his vault suit back on, instead he left it behind, wearing the military uniform now. He didn't want to think about the vault, that place where he was made, it hurt him. So he left it behind while he left his room to walk around.
He grabbed food, he hadn't eaten at all yesterday or the night before, he was hungry, even if his stomach was not feeling especially so.
He got a nice big meal. 45 caps. Even with this Adam was richer now than he had been in a while, he had very slightly over 3000 caps. He would be patting himself on the back for all his hard work paying off if not the terrible mood he was in. The meal was quiet, as he had no one to eat with, as per usual. The silence was deafening now though, he was surrounded by so many people and they talked casually, happily, enjoyed their meals, while he was alone.
He was beginning to feel worse again so he decided to let fate work it out for him. He went to the bar.
He couldn't go to The Oasis, it was too early for it to be open, and besides, Adam wanted to get drunk not sip at wine. So he found a relatively trashy bar and drank for the next few hours, liquor flowing freely. After racking up a bill of 232 caps, he left, drunk, but unsatisfied, so he headed to the next place he hoped to get his mind off things. The casino.
Adam enjoyed a bit of gambling. Before the war he- the other guy used to gamble with his coworkers, go to the casino on occasion, and of course he used to gamble back in the army. So he was not a stranger to it. But Adam never really cared much for gambling, he never felt that indescribable thrill at winning, or the itch to keep going until he won big. He just enjoyed a little game of stakes. However Adam was not in the right headspace right now. He was not going to the casino to win. He was going there to lose.
Adam spent several hours at the casino, drunk as he was, he was not thinking about his money, or long term survival. In fact he was not thinking about anything right now, he wanted to stop thinking. There were some ups and downs, but Adam was not trying to win big, he just wanted to feel something, so he bet on the most risky things he could, determined to either win big or go home.
By the time he was done go home he did, he had successfully lost 956 caps in just the few hours he was there. As the night seemed to be beginning to arrive he finally headed to the Oasis.
"You don't seem to be wearing your iconic blue anymore? Looking for an image change?~" Eve said with her normal flirty tone as Adam walked over to her counter. Then she saw his face. "You look like you've just found out your wife turned into a feral ghoul."
"Worse." Adam said solemnly as he sat down, noticing that there was no one around in earshot, since everyone else seemed to be paying attention to the stage at the moment.
"Well now you've caught my attention~" She said as she leaned in on the counter.
"I just.. want some wine. Preferably something strong." Adam said, still solemn. Eve paused as she examined Adam again. He was no longer drunk, it seemed like his 'genetically enhanced' clone body metabolizes alcohol faster too. So he couldn't stay drunk for long. Just his luck.
"As your bartender I would gladly get that for you." She then paused without moving. "As your friend I will have to say no." She said, staring into his eyes with her own sensors.
"If you were my friend, you'd help me drink the night away." Adam said disgruntled as he put his arms on the counter and buried his face in them. Eve sighed and then placed a claw on Adam's head gently.
"You know, I've been around long enough to have seen all kinds of humans. I'm sure if you tell me what's wrong I've got some advice to give you."
"I doubt it." Adam said as his face remained buried in his arms on the counter.
"Try me." Eve said with a firm tone. Adam remained silent for a long time, unsure if he even wanted to talk about it. He had spent all of yesterday dissociating, and all of today trying to distract himself. Neither had worked. He would rather not open up, he was feeling so vulnerable, but he was out of ideas.
"I'm a clone Eve…" He said quietly, his head still buried on the counter.
"You are a clone?" Eve repeated softly, a bit confused, but having clearly heard him despite his muffled voice.
"Yes…" Adam said again, softly.
"Well now. That's a new one." She said as she put her claw to her chin and tapped it thrice. "I can't say I have ever met a clone before."
"See? You can't help me." Adam said dejected, having remained unmoved.
"I think you are just looking at this the wrong way. That just means you are unique, no?" She offered. Adam remained silent for a moment and then slowly looked up at her.
"What do you mean?"
"It's just as I said. I've been around for a long time. Ever since I became aware of what I was and left that shithole of a military base I have seen all types of people, been in all types of places, done all sorts of things. And in all that time I have never once met a clone." She leaned in a bit. "I think that makes you one of a kind no?" She said with an almost seductive tone, despite her tender words and meaning.
"I don't… think that's enough though…" Adam responded, not even sure what to say to that.
"Why not?" Eve said as she started to walk out from behind the counter and over to where Adam was sitting, taking a seat beside him.
More than ever Adam could take in her form, her body was full of battle wounds, scratches, dents, burn marks, and a tiny bit of rust around some of the joints. Though it was clear she took good care of herself, dents were dinged out, scratches were buffed and painted over, and the rust was carefully contained and kept to a minimum, it was clear she took a lot of effort to keep herself looking clean. Though it was also clear that she didn't want to look new. She seemed to keep a lot of her battle damage she accrued, perhaps as a point of pride.
"Adam." She said tenderly now as she sat down next to him. "I am a robot designed for war and conquest. I was created in a factory in an assembly line alongside other robots who looked exactly like me. I was not special nor unique, I was a serial number. Even I do not understand how I came to be so different from my sisters, but I am different. In all my travels I have only ever met a small number of other sentient robots like me, only one other sentient assaultron. I am unique." She said with emphasis. "And so are you." Adam looked at her in silence as she spoke, not even sure what to say.
"So you are a clone? That doesn't mean you can't be who you want to be. Be someone who makes you proud. So what If I was programmed to kill targets? I can tend bar too. So what if you were cloned to be that man's replacement, be who you want to be. Don't let others' expectations choose your path for you." Adam remained silent for a few moments more before he let off a soft chuckle.
"My friend Salvatore said something similar too…" He offered a sad soft smile.
"Sounds like a man who knows what he's talking about." She leaned back on the stool a bit. "Being a clone doesn't change who you are, Adam. You are you because you are you, not because of anyone else. Live true to yourself. That's the best advice I can give." She then got up and walked around the counter again.
"You know." She continued. "Most people who come in here treat me like a robot, that's all they see. They don't see the woman inside. Fewer still chat with me. Even less come back to chat with me. You do." She paused. "I wouldn't offer advice like this to just anyone."
"Thanks Eve…" Adam said with a small smile to her. He then let off a long exhale. She was right, Salvatore was right. He knew he couldn't keep beating himself up about this. So he was a clone? So what? He would forge his own path. A path that the real Adam Baxter would have been proud of. He will make something of himself that both men could say was worthwhile. Sure, maybe he didn't actually serve in the war. But the man whose memories he inherited did. He could use that knowledge, those memories, those inherited experiences, to make something of himself, help people, and build a new comfortable life here. He could move forward. He may not be the Adam Baxter. But he was Adam Baxter. He couldn't be anything but that. He was content to be him. There was no sense fighting it. He would continue to live as he had been. True to himself and the life he wants to live. He was a clone, but just like Eve was a robot, an assaultron, he was not defined by that trait.
He nodded, having sorted out his thoughts and then looked Eve in the eye sensors and offered her a larger, more confident smile.
"Thanks Eve." He said again, this time with more conviction and more self-assuredness.
"There's the Handsome man I missed~" Eve said, flirty again as soon as Adam was back to himself again. She didn't miss a beat. Adam chuckled softly.
"You sure didn't wait." He grinned.
"Why should I when a strong, handsome, confident man is right before me?" She teased. Adam leaned back, ran his hands through his hair and then looked at her again.
"No more drinks tonight, I drank enough today already, I haven't eaten much today though so perhaps some food? A sandwich?"
"Coming right up, dear~" She said, turning around to make the request for him now.
Adam had gone through a crisis of self, and while it didn't last too long, just a few days, it was formative. Though it hurt, he now knew the truth and he was determined not to let the truth stop him from living his life. Adam Baxter was back. Though he just wished he had figured this out before he blew nearly a thousand caps at the casino.