Year 17 of Konoha
Sigh... it's been six long years of confusion, death, war—and finally, peace.
A small, pale-skinned boy with long black hair sat perched on the windowsill of a modest home. The gentle breeze brushed against his face as golden eyes, slitted like a snake's, gazed over the Hidden Leaf Village. Those eyes, far too intelligent for a child of six, held a maturity that betrayed his true soul.
"The First Great Ninja War has officially ended... along with my father and mother."
At first, being reincarnated as a newborn had sent his mind into chaos. The woman cradling him had called his name—Orochimaru—and in that instant, his brain had practically short-circuited.
"Of all the people I could've reincarnated as... it had to be the Snake Uncle of Konoha. The man who betrayed the village, did unspeakable experiments, and somehow still got a redemption arc. Seriously?"
He shuddered.
"And don't even get me started on the fact that in the future, I apparently become both the mother and the father of a child. Nope. No way. I'm a bonafide straight man with a completely normal interest in girls. I died a virgin in my previous life—I'm not letting that happen again. This time, I'm finding the love of my life."
Shaking his head, he pulled himself back to the present.
"Anyway, that's for the future. Right now, I'm focusing on chakra training. Yin and Yang—mind and body. My progress with Yang chakra is... disappointing. Barely anything. But Yin chakra? Now that's where I'm shining. Probably because I've got the mental maturity of a 37-year-old."
In these six years, he'd made real progress.
"My genjutsu is solid. I can influence every sense—except smell. Gotta work on that. My sensory jutsu is like early-stage Observation Haki from One Piece—no precognition yet, but my reflexes and instincts are sharp."
He paused, thinking through his current skill set.
"Let's see:— Genjutsu is my best area.— Then comes sensory perception.— Kenjutsu and shurikenjutsu follow.— Then ninjutsu, with lightning nature as my main focus.— And at the bottom of the list is taijutsu, which without a weapon, is barely genin level."
Physically, he was about on par with a top-level genin or a low-tier chunin. His chakra reserves were comfortably chunin-level, though his combat experience was... limited.
"So yeah, my total combat power is somewhere between mid- and elite chunin, give or take. Hard to be exact without more real fights."
As he reflected, a loud voice broke the quiet.
"HEYYY, Orochimaru! Wanna play—"
The door burst open as a white-haired boy with red lines under his eyes came crashing in like a whirlwind of noise and chaos.
"NO, idiot," Orochimaru snapped, deadpan. "Today's our first day at the academy, and you want to play? Get your sandals on—we're leaving."
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Jeez, you're such a buzzkill!" Jiraiya whined as he jogged up beside Orochimaru, his arms flailing exaggeratedly like a broken windmill. "We're finally going to be shinobi! We should celebrate!"
Orochimaru didn't even blink. "We celebrate after results, not before exams, idiot."
"But it's not an exam!"
"It's still structured evaluation," Orochimaru said curtly, adjusting the dark robe his small frame wore like a prince in exile. "Your chakra control is terrible, your form is slouching, and that stupid grin makes you look like you sat on a senbon."
Jiraiya blinked. "That oddly specific insult was unnecessary."
"And yet, it was accurate," Orochimaru said, his tone flat as ever. "Also, your sandals are mismatched."
Jiraiya looked down. "…Damn it."
The streets of Konoha bustled around them as children—most nervous, some excited—hurried toward the academy gates. Among them, a small group was surrounded by whispers and the occasional glances of admiration.
That's when Orochimaru saw her.
Golden hair tied into twin pigtails, brown eyes sparkling with annoyance at the group of loud boys surrounding her, and a punch that sent one flying into a dango cart.
Tsunade Senju.
"Note to self: Do not annoy her," Orochimaru muttered.
"Whoaaa, did you see that?!" Jiraiya gasped. "She's so cool! And violent! I think I'm in love."
"You think you're in love with anything that has a pulse," Orochimaru deadpanned.
As they stepped through the academy gates, a teacher—a stern-faced chunin with a clipboard—called names for seating.
"Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Tsunade—back row, left corner."
"Back row? That's the 'troublemaker' seat," Jiraiya whispered. "We're so doomed."
Back Row, Left Corner
As they took their seats, Tsunade scowled at the two boys beside her. "If either of you makes stupid noises, I'll break your teeth."
"Fair," Orochimaru nodded, not bothering to argue. "Also, your chakra signature is fluctuating. Are you nervous or just angry?"
She blinked. "What?"
"Also, your breathing is uneven. First sign of chakra instability. Try diaphragmatic breathing."
"...what?"
Before she could throw a punch or a pencil at him, Jiraiya interrupted. "He's weird like that. Talks like an old man. Reads weird scrolls. Smells like snake oil too."
"I smell like genius," Orochimaru corrected.
Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "You're... weird, but not annoying. Unlike this one."
Jiraiya pouted. "Hey!"
Later That Day – Sparring
"Alright kids," the instructor barked. "Pair up for basic sparring!"
Orochimaru sighed. "Great. The part where I get my face stomped."
Tsunade was already cracking her knuckles. "Hope I get paired with a loudmouth. Or Jiraiya."
Unfortunately for him, Orochimaru was paired with a massive kid—the type who looked like he ate protein scrolls for breakfast.
"Try not to cry, little snake boy," the boy grinned.
"Try not to blink too slow," Orochimaru replied with a flat look.
The match started. The big kid lunged forward—
—only to trip over his own feet as the floor twisted slightly beneath him, a subtle genjutsu Orochimaru cast with a simple half-seal.
The entire class blinked in silence as the kid faceplanted dramatically.
"Wow…" Tsunade muttered. "That was... sneaky."
"It was efficient," Orochimaru said, brushing dust off his sleeves. "Violence is messy. Art lies in control."
"That," Tsunade grinned, "was pretty cool."
Jiraiya, currently buried under a pile of dirt after being flung by his opponent, groaned from the sidelines. "This is favoritism. I want cool snake tricks too."
"Then stop thinking with your nose and learn to use your brain," Orochimaru called out.
"That's rich—coming from a guy whose eyes scream 'I want to dissect frogs for fun.'"
After Class — Ramen Break
Somehow, the three of them ended up at a ramen stall.
Tsunade slurped her bowl with aggressive pride. "I like you two. You're annoying but useful."
"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me," Jiraiya said through a mouthful of noodles.
Orochimaru smiled faintly, eyes half-lidded. "This… is not how I expected my first day as Orochimaru to go. But it'll do."
In the distance, a drunk jonin crashed into a lamp post.
Tsunade didn't look up. "That's my uncle."
Orochimaru took another sip of tea.
"Konoha, huh… yeah, this life might just be interesting after all."