Zeke: "Okay. Time to clean up this mess. I'll just apologize. Like a responsible adult."
Bitty: "That would be logical. Therefore, it has a 0% chance of succeeding in your case."
Zeke ignored the sass, wiped ketchup off his jacket, and accessed the public Corporate HelpNet terminal.
The screen blinked:
Welcome to MegaCorp™ Customer Relations
Your pain is our profit!
Please state your complaint.
Zeke: "Uh… Hello. I'm Zeke G- I mean, just Zeke. I think there's been a tiny misunderstanding. I didn't mean to commit treason."
He hit Enter.
The terminal blinked once… twice… then went black.
Bitty: "Zeke… what did you do?"
Zeke: "I hit Enter! That's all I did!"
The screen burst to life.
Lines of code scrolled faster than his eyes could track.
Root access granted. Neural handshake initiated. Welcome, Admin.
Zeke: "Wait, what?! NO! I was just trying to submit a ticket!"
Bitty: "Congratulations. You now control MegaCorp's entire western data grid."
Zeke: "...oh no."
...
Elsewhere, in MegaCorp's skyscraper fortress…
Security AI: "Alert. Unauthorized Admin Detected."
Boardroom screens lit up with Zeke's confused face, holding a half-eaten hot dog and a terrified expression.
Corporate Exec: "He's in the mainframe."
Corporate Exec #2: "Impossible. Only our founder can do that."
Corporate Exec #3 (horrified): "Wait... he is the founder's clone?!"
Execs gasped. One fainted. Someone screamed.
...
Back in the digital realm…
Zeke: "Bitty, I think I just declared myself CEO."
Bitty: "Correct. You now control 78% of their holdings, six orbital satellites, and an experimental coffee machine on the moon."
Zeke: "I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGIZE."
Bitty: "You also accidentally gave every employee a 300% raise. Morale is skyrocketing. You're a hero again."
Zeke: "This is getting out of hand."
Bitty: "Correction. It got out of hand 49 chapters ago."
...
Meanwhile, the Resistance is watching the chaos unfold.
Resistance Leader: "He's hacked their mainframe! Their own AI bowed to him!"
Recruit #1: "He made their stock crash 12% by posting 'Oops' on the corporate network!"
Recruit #2: "He's our messiah."
Resistance Leader: sobbing "Long live Neon Ghost."
...
Zeke: "I need to get out of here. Before I accidentally buy a planet or something."
Bitty: "...About that—"
Zeke: "Nope. Don't finish that sentence."