"Hmph, so what? It's because you're unable to endure loneliness, it was you who foolishly fell into the trap, haha."
"You're a bastard." At this moment, Lin Wan was filled with unspeakable anger and regret, but it was too late, there was no time.
Everything was too late.
Her life was lived like a fool. "Why, why does it have to be like this for her."
Lin Wan stumbled out of the courtyard, not knowing how she got out. All she wanted was to die.
Death would be the end of it all.
"Lin Wan... Lin Wan? Wanwan, are you okay?" Han Yi had been waiting outside for a long time, calling her repeatedly without any response. Seeing her wandering appearance, Han Yi reached out and pulled her slightly.
Only then did Lin Wan react. She stared blankly for a moment, suddenly seeing a long-lost face, and once again started to daze.
Han Yi noticed her face didn't look good, her hair disheveled, and wanted to step forward to tidy it for her but reconsidered, thinking it's not appropriate. His hand remained in mid-air then slowly lowered.
"Have you been well all these years?" The originally reserved and steady voice, tempered further by the years, still sounded so pleasant.
Lin Wan's bewildered eyes suddenly cleared a bit, she stared at Han Yi dazedly and asked with uncertainty, "Are you concerned about me?"
"...Yes," Han Yi awkwardly hid his emotions, looking deeply into Lin Wan's eyes, "I didn't sign those divorce papers."
What does not signing mean? He didn't sign? He actually didn't sign, then what does it mean for them now, what's happening with Ye Qing?
Looking at Han Yi, at this moment, Lin Wan collapsed completely, and suddenly something fell from her eyes, leaving damp trails over her cheeks on her dry skin, just like her life, so messy and chaotic.
"I'm sorry." At this moment, these were the only words Lin Wan could say to Han Yi.
Lin Wan didn't want Han Yi to see her in such a wretched state, wiping away her tears, ignoring Han Yi's calls from behind, she turned to cross the street.
But who had known that just then a large truck would come.
In that split second, Lin Wan felt that, like this, it was fine, she wouldn't have to live like this anymore.
"Wanwan, don't" Han Yi rushed forward at that moment, and Lin Wan was stunned. She had never thought Han Yi would risk his life to save her. She had so many things, so many questions to ask, but she didn't want him to see her in her present state.
Now it's fine, this moment, won't be seen anymore.
Both of their lives faded with a piercing sound of brakes and collision...
Lin Wan only felt intense pain all over her body, she tried to raise her hand to brush away this pain, only to find herself powerless, extremely thirsty, struggling for a long time before finally being able to raise her hand to touch her face, feeling it was all sweaty.
Hadn't she died in the car accident? Lin Wan raised her hand to touch the wall, finding a string, which she pulled, lighting up the room.
Thinking what kind of broken place this was, using switches from decades ago? It's even more shabby than the house she rented. Hadn't she died? Was this a hospital? This hospital was too frugal.
Lin Wan struggled to get up, holding a 70s enamel mug from the table, without caring the temperature of the water or when it was from, gulping it down in one breath, feeling finally relieved.
Looking down at herself, she found her arms wrapped in white cloth, covered with various scratches.
"She hadn't died..." then what about Han Yi? Was he okay?
Thinking of Ye Qing made her heart sink again. Although she had been gone for decades, seeing Han Yi with another woman inexplicably hurt, let alone the woman being Ye Qing.
She was so foolish!
Lin Wan looked around the room and realized it was very old, like a house from the 70s or 80s, the walls still made of earth bricks, the floor tiled.
Only... This... House seemed so familiar.
The more Lin Wan looked, the more familiar it felt, she had lived here for a while, she had impressions, how did she come back here?
Had she died and Heaven allowed her to go back to the past to look?
Lin Wan, dragging her pained body, glanced at the calendar on the wall, it was a calendar from 1978.
In 1978, she was only sixteen, remembering that year she and her brother were both admitted to university. Though at that time attending university didn't need tuition, living expenses still required a good amount. Those times were tough at home, and Mom could not afford the expenses for two kids. Mom meant she was still young, let her brother go first, she'd wait for two years.
She disagreed, thinking Mom favored boys over girls, biased towards her brother, and argued with the family fiercely. When Mom and brother went out to work, she took the ten yuan she saved by washing hospital sheets, and left alone.
Later, she secretly took the notice and went to university by herself; July 24, in another month school would start, which meant she had just arrived at this place not long ago.
She recalled she had a car accident when she first arrived, she was hit by a small car when she went out to buy food, but luckily, it wasn't serious. The car's owner was nice, compensated her twenty yuan, which was a lot at the time, enough to buy many things.
She spent seven yuan to rent a place, having only a couple yuan left, it wasn't enough to sustain her for long, eventually she had to find a dishwashing job here, held on for a month before leaving.
Reflecting on the things she did, it did hurt people, her Mom and brother must have been very sad at the time.
Thinking about it now, what was the point of going to university? The people she met weren't good, it ruined her life.
It was just a waste of money.
Lin Wan lay in bed, thinking of Ye Qing, thinking of her foolish past deeds, thinking until she didn't know when she fell asleep.
The next day she was woken by hunger, Lin Wan lay in bed and smiled helplessly, a dead person could still get hungry?
After resting a night, her body and arm weren't as painful, Lin Wan got up, looked around the room, found herself still here, wondering why Black and White Impermanence hadn't come to take her, leaving her here.
Lin Wan rented a small courtyard with two rooms, one bedroom, one kitchen.
Originally, she wanted to go to the county, but worried things would be expensive there, and she didn't have enough money. Passing by here, she saw it was much richer than her town, so she stopped to wander aimlessly around. Passing by this house, she overheard the owner discussing prices with someone, and out of interest listened a bit, discovering the owner wanted to rent the house, but the person found the rent expensive, and since someone had recently died here, the deal wasn't made.
Once that person left, Lin Wan quickly approached the owner, saying she wanted to rent. It turned out this room belonged to the owner's old mother, who had died not long ago. The owner was worried it couldn't be rented out, unexpectedly met Lin Wan wanting to rent it, so rented it to her for seven yuan a month.