When the Sixth Year Gryffindor Quidditch Team comes under attack in the halls of the school, Harry Potter is forced to turn to two of his closest friends, Hermione Granger and Matt Santini, to fill in the vacant spots before the next match. Not wanting to let him or their house down, the couple agrees to play. However, with neither Matt nor Hermione being particularly adept fliers, and with Cormac McLaggen playing Keeper, the team's inevitable loss results in a humiliating and messy punishment for the offenders.
Matt Santini awoke one March morning to find the dorm he had begun sharing with his girlfriend, Hermione Granger, vacant. Matt's brow furrowed but then remembered it was Friday and Hermione was always up early on Friday. She liked to catch up on any homework that they had not been able to complete during the earlier part of the week. Matt could not argue with her logic, he liked the fact that if they had all their course work done before the evening on Friday, they had the entire weekend to spend their time freely.
That free time was often spent in one another's company, sometimes kissing, hugging or otherwise cuddling, sometimes reading or simply enjoying their friend's company. Although Ron had been bothersome the last few months after learning Hermione had snogging session with Viktor Krum after the Yule Ball in their fourth year. Matt was not sure what Ron had to be upset over though, as it was he who was dating Hermione, not Ron.
Matt quickly changed out of his pajamas and made his way down to the Gryffindor Common Room. Predictably, Hermione was curled up on the couch by the fire, a book in her lap. He grinned and approached the couch from behind, slowly leaning over the back of it and looking into Hermione's warm brown eyes, upside down.
"Morning, love." Matt said quietly.
"Hey handsome!" Hermione replied with a grin and quickly pecked his lips. Matt returned the affection with a wide smile, not having tried that before. He was tall enough to be able to lean over the top of the couch and Hermione without causing her too much discomfort.
"Whatcha readin'?" Matt asked and vaulted over the back of the couch to land next to her. Hermione snuggled next to him as he draped an arm over her shoulders.
"Just Hogwarts: A History." She responded and flicked the page over. Matt rested his chin on her shoulder and picked up reading where she was.
"You know, we should get some breakfast soon." Matt spoke after some time. The Common Room had become noisier as their housemates were waking up.
"I suppose you're right, of course." Hermione relented and closed the book, marking the page. Matt stood up and offered her a hand as they went to breakfast in the Great Hall, their arms linked together.
After breakfast the pair of them went to classes. Matt noticed something; their other friend was oddly absent. He had not seen Harry Potter all day long. Ron was expected to be off, as he was still in the hospital wing recovering from nearly being poisoned. When they had gone to visit him, after the initial incident, Matt had been standing closest to the bed and Ron had strangely called his name out.
Hermione had not let him live it down, making jokes that Ron held secret feelings for their American friend. Matt was less than pleased with this and promised he might accidentally let the cat out of the bag as to why exactly Hermione had been missing for almost two full months after Christmas during their second year. The couple were at a playful stalemate in their teasing of one another. Although, to some on the outside it may have looked like they were fighting, in reality, neither would do anything to harm the other's feelings or do something to hurt the other out of anger.
It was not until after dinner that Hermione and Matt finally ran into Harry. The couple had gone to visit Ron in the Hospital Wing and after conversing with him for some time on everything he was going to be missing out on, they were on their way back to Gryffindor Tower. Harry ran up to the couple out of breath.
"Hermione! Matt! I need to speak to the both of you, quickly." Harry said as he pulled the pair into an empty classroom.
"Harry, what's going on?" Matt wondered.
"Yes, please, is everything alright?" Hermione asked.
"There's been some attacks." Harry replied breathlessly.
"What? Who's been injured now?" Hermione looked aghast.
"How bad is it?" Matt looked fearful. Hagrid had said there was a possibility that if things got worse at the school, they would close it down thanks to Voldemort and the attacks on Katie Bell and Ron.
"It's Demelza Robins and Ritchie Coote." Harry said.
"You're kidding." Matt crossed his arms over his chest. He could not believe that two more members of Gryffindor's Quidditch team were down.
"I knew something was fishy when Slytherin switched with Hufflepuff at the beginning of the season. It's just like last time. I swear it's Malfoy…" Harry began. "But now, they've taken to cursing us in the halls. Coote and Robins will be in the Hospital Wing through the weekend.
"That's terrible! How are you going to be able to play tomorrow?" Hermione said.
"What're you going to do?" Matt asked.
"That's why I need you both." Harry looked desperately between Matt and Hermione.
"What for? How can we help?" Hermione asked.
"I need you both to fly for the team."
"I'm sorry, what?" Matt blinked at Harry.
"I need you to both fly. Matt, I want you to take over for Coote and Hermione for Robins." Harry implored.
"Harry, you know I love you like a brother," Matt began "We've known each other since we both got on the train to come here, all the way back in first year. So, when I ask you, WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! I do so with love."
"Please, it's the only way we'll be able to play. If we don't, we'll lose the House Cup for sure."
"I don't know about this Harry…" Hermione said, chewing on her bottom lip.
"Have you seen either of us on a broom?" Matt asked. "You do remember the last time you talked us into playing with the Weasleys at The Burrow, right? The broom tried to buck Hermione off! Twice, with two different brooms! And I can't get more than five feet off the ground without getting dizzy. You'd be better off with Neville."
"But Neville can't fly. The both of you at least can to some degree. And the school brooms won't buck you off. Remember? They're charmed not to." Harry countered.
"We're gonna lose…and you know how vindictive the team can get…" Matt said swallowing hard.
"Look I've already had to replace Ron with McLaggen…"
"Cormac McLaggen? You're playing him?!" Matt exclaimed.
"I really don't like this Harry…" Hermione sighed.
"Neither do I. Cormac McLaggen is a vile piece of shit. He tried to force Hermione under the mistletoe at Slughorn's Christmas party, in front of me! We've been together for a year now and that waste of space knows it!"
"I know, but he's a decent Keeper. We need someone who can play as well as Ron can." Harry replied.
"You want me replacing Coote? Fine. I'll do it. If only so I can take a Bludger and smash McLaggen's head in with it!" Matt snarled.
"I'll do it Harry. Only because it's you asking." Hermione said and laced her fingers through Matt's and gave him a squeeze to calm down.
"Great! Thank you both! You're literally life savers!" Harry said and hugged them both fiercely.
"You owe us Potter! I'm not gonna forget either!" Matt said as Harry rushed off to tell the remaining team the good news.
"Well, at least we'll have Dean and Ginny with us…" Hermione said.
"Yeah…assuming that doesn't turn into a blow up…or McLaggen doesn't screw the whole pooch…" Matt replied darkly. Ginny and Dean's fighting was getting worse it seemed. The couple liked each other well enough when lips were locked, but that seemed to be as far as that went for them. Without a make out session to keep them occupied, it seemed Ginny and Dean were a powder keg waiting for a spark and there were a lot of sparks.
The following morning, Matt and Hermione joined the Gryffindor team at the house table, with Luna joining them for support. She was always their biggest cheerleader, and Matt was thankful for it. Even Ernie Macmillan had come by to offer them good luck. He seemed to think they would need it. That did nothing for Matt's nerves. Hermione was doing her best to stay calm and had been through every Quidditch book in the school twice since the previous night. Matt would know, he spent the entire time reading on her shoulder.
"Hermione…you do know that's not something you can learn out of a book!" Lavender Brown quipped at her. Hermione scowled, and Matt glared at her. Lavender had become insufferable since she started to date Ron. She was constantly inserting herself into their group when he was around. It felt so weird and forced. Hermione looked incredibly uncomfortable as well. Matt knew Lavender often picked on Hermione, but he was never able to get his girlfriend to tell him how bad it was, whether it was just playful rivalry and sarcasm or actually mean-spirited bullying.
As time drew near, Matt, Hermione, Ginny, Dean Thomas, Jimmy Peakes, and Cormac McLaggen made their way down to the pitch and entered the team changing rooms. Harry was lagging behind for some odd reason.
"Well, since the Captain isn't here…" began McLaggen.
"We'll wait to hear from him!" Matt broke in loudly.
"Where is he?!" Ginny hissed.
"He's probably visiting Ron. I hear that Luna's commentating this match since Zacharias had an unfortunate case of 'cat got his tongue'." Replied Matt.
"'Cat got his tongue'?" Ginny asked. "What do you mean by that?"
"I don't know, ask the cat! I'm sure Crookshanks is around her somewhere…" Matt said with a sly grin.
Suddenly, Harry appeared and quickly grabbed his Quidditch robes.
"Where have you been?!" snarled Ginny.
The rest of the team were changed and ready, Matt and Peakes were already banging their beater's bats against their legs and Hermione looked pale.
Harry and Ginny were having a quiet, yet hot exchange as Harry was getting ready. Matt could tell Harry was still going on about Malfoy and he rolled his eyes and shook his head. Why would Harry be worried about where Malfoy was going? The answer was obvious across the pitch!
"What's Harry going on about?" Matt asked, as he pulled Ginny to the side.
"He's saying something about passing Malfoy as Malfoy was going to the castle for some reason." Ginny replied.
"The hell for? Malfoy's got to play in about two minutes!"
"No, he's not. They replaced him with Harper."
"Now, that is strange." Matt said scratching his head.
"Everything ok, Love?" Hermione asked as she joined them.
"Yeah, I'm sure it's nothing. Harry's going to have to beat Harper rather than Malfoy for the Snitch. Could be worse. I've heard Harper's slow." Matt said as he looped her arm around Hermione's shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze.
"Are you ready?" he asked, and she nodded her bushy brown head.
"Come on then!" came Harry's command. The group marched out onto the pitch to roaring cheers and screaming boos loud enough to deafen them.
There was very little wind, and the clouds looked patchy with occasional flashes of blinding sunlight.
"Tricky conditions!" McLaggen started and Matt groaned, not needing to hear any more of his grandstanding. "Santini, Peakes, you'll want to fly out of the sun, so they don't see you coming –"
"I'm the captain McLaggen, shut up giving them instructions and just get up by the goalposts!" Harry barked angrily.
McLaggen marched off in a huff as Harry turned to Matt and Peakes.
"Make sure you do fly out of the sun." he said grudgingly.
Harry shook hands with Urquhart and on Madam Hooch's whistle they were off. Harry shot up higher than the rest of the team, immediately hunting for the Snitch. Hermione hovered shakily at the same height as Ginny, while Matt kept even with Peakes.
"Vaisey of Slytherin with the Quaffle. Zacharias Smith, who commentated last time, likes him a lot. Although Ginny Weasley flew into him, I think rather on purpose it looked like. He was being quite rude about Gryffindor. Oh look, he's lost the Quaffle, Ginny Weasley's taken it from him. I do like her, she's very nice…" Luna Lovegood's unmistakable dreamy voice drifted up to them from the commentator's box.
Sure enough, Ginny had gotten the Quaffle from Vaisey and called to Hermione to take it from her as both Crabbe and Goyle were bearing down on her. She passed to Hermione, who grabbed it and immediately dropped it as she almost rolled off her broom.
"Oh no, Hermione Granger's dropped the Quaffle and now that Slytherin boy has it. He's called Apple no- wait- Amens- "
"It's Zabini!" McGonagall called over to Luna.
The crowd laughed as Matt chased a Bludger and smacked it right over Ginny's head. She ducked out of the way before Peakes caught it on the end of his bat and sent it right back to Matt.
"The OTHER team! Do this to the other team!" Ginny yelled as she and Hermione were both ducking the Bludger Matt and Peakes kept bouncing between them. Dean Thomas managed to grab the Quaffle but lost it. Hermione dove to recover it but was nearly knocked off her broom by Urquhart.
Zabini recovered the Quaffle and headed down field as Ginny was distracted by McLaggen. He was too busy berating her for letting the Quaffle be taken from her that he failed to notice the red ball soar right past him and into the goal, giving Slytherin the first score of the game.
Matt could hear Harry yelling at McLaggen to pay closer attention to his own position than everyone else's. McLaggen snarled that Harry was not setting a good example, which was technically true, but as captain, it was Harry's job to boss the rest of the team around. At least Harry did not try to micromanage everyone like McLaggen was doing.
It quickly became clear why Harry was the captain and McLaggen was not. While Harry searched for the Snitch, Ginny and Dean managed to score. McLaggen failed to stop another goal from Zabini as he was catcalling Hermione, making her scowl at him. Matt also did not help as he "accidentally" sent a Bludger towards McLaggen letting Urquhart score again.
Hermione was struggling to keep possession of the Quaffle when she did have it. The Slytherins had figured out she was a weak point and routinely targeted her. While she managed to not fall off her broom, she could not keep possession of the red ball for long. Ginny and Dean did their best to help recover from it but were often too distracted by either McLaggen attempting to tell them how to play, or random Bludgers flying at them to be able to be of much help.
Matt was doing his best to shoot at the other team, but often his shots would nearly miss either Hermione, Ginny, or Dean. On a couple of occasions, unnoticed by Harry, one of Matt's shots passed directly under him. They only missed because Harry's foot was just an inch to left or right. It was not until Matt flew too near to McLaggen that things began to devolve even further.
"Give me that, you bloody American fool!" McLaggen snarled as he yanked Matt's bat from his hand. "This is how you're supposed to hit a Bludger." He said and swung the bat exactly as Matt had.
"I know! Fucking prick!" Matt shot back and wrestled the bat from McLaggen. Just as he got it away from McLaggen, Matt's arm swung wide and connected with an oncoming Bludger. It missed Zabini entirely and headed straight for Harry. Harry barely had time to swerve as the Bludger connected with his shoulder and he fell from his broom.
Hermione stopped midair and clapped her hands to her mouth as Harry plummeted off his broom. To make matters worse, Harry twisted in midfall and landed on the shoulder Matt's Bludger hit. There was a sickening crunch as Harry landed and he moaned loudly. Harry being knocked from his broom gave Harper the chance he needed, and he quickly caught the Snitch.
The match ended with Gryffindor losing abysmally and Harry was carted off to the Hospital Wing. The entire team looked dejected as they traipsed into the changing rooms.
"What the hell was that?!" Ginny snarled. "I've seen both of you fly better than today and we weren't even in it but for bragging rights with my brothers!"
"I know…" Matt said and hung his head.
"We're really sorry Ginny." Hermione said.
"I know…just…" Ginny was upset but could not hold her anger at the couple for long. As the team exited the changing rooms to head back to the castle, Demelza Robins and Ritchie Coote were walking towards them.
"You lost! You both lost!" Robins shouted.
"I thought you were decent at flying. Potter said you both knew what you were doing well enough to fill in!" Coote added, piling on.
"Look, we were told at the last minute, we didn't even get to practice!" Matt offered.
"Please, it wasn't intentional!" Hermione begged as the entire team surrounded the couple. "Ginny…" Hermione turned to her friend.
"Hermione…" Ginny hesitated, looking hurt at the loss.
"You know what I think? I think they ought to go down too…down The Drain!" Dean said.
"Get their wands!" someone else cried and before either Matt or Hermione could stop them, both were relieved of their wands.
Hermione looked terrified and Matt was suddenly afraid as well.
"No! You wouldn't!" Hermione said as the couple were grabbed by Peakes, Robins, Ginny, and Dean. McLaggen grinned the whole time and led the troop up to the castle.
Hermione and Matt had their arms pinned as they were hauled through the front doors and swiftly down to the dungeons. In a small room near the Potions classroom was what the school had dubbed The Drain. The middle of the room was waist deep pool that Professor Snape used as a drainage system for the failed potions of the week. He would vanish the potions from students' cauldrons into the pit and after classes, magically deactivate them.
Contrary to his own instructions, there was some wand work with potions. Their ingredients had to be magically activated to work properly, otherwise the mixtures were just noxious and often, poisonous, sludge. All the students knew of the room, and few dared to go in, however. The few who did would often spend a week or two in the Hospital Wing.
"Don't worry, I've been keeping track with the other years as to what Snape's been doing. It's harmless enough." Dean said as the group forced their way into the room. The Drain itself was full of foul-smelling goop that swirled green, pink, brown, and gray.
"Please, no! We won't play Quidditch ever again!" Hermione begged.
"Cross our hearts and hope to live?" Matt offered. Hermione covered her eyes and bowed her head at his statement.
"Oh…well in that case…dunk 'em!" Dean called. Matt and Hermione grasped onto one another, their faces burning red.
"I'll keep these safe, don't worry." Ginny said, taking their wands from Dean. But Matt and Hermione gripped one another tighter, a ball of worry forming in both their stomachs.
"Now's time for the real show. You don't want me, Granger? Fine! Here, let's add a little something!" McLaggen snarled and pulled out a large bottle of something and emptied it into the Drain. The goo sparked and steamed.
"No, you can't!" Ginny said as Peakes, Coote, and Robins nudged Matt and Hermione ever closer to the edge, threatening to push the clearly frightened couple into the slop. "That was Soure's No Comb Hair Remover Tonic!"
Hermione and Matt both gasped.
"Woah, ok, it was all in good fun before…" Dean said and pulled Peakes and Coote back as Ginny stepped in front of the trembling couple.
"What's the matter Thomas? Losing your nerve? They're the screw ups, they need to be taught a lesson. Their superiors demand it." McLaggen said with a snarl. Hermione's face flushed redder than Ginny's hair, and Matt whispered into her ear something to calm her.
"Superiors? I surely hope you don't mean yourself!" Ginny said and whipped around looking at McLaggen.
"What?" McLaggen looked startled as the other members of the team started to advance on him.
"If you weren't catcalling Granger, she could have concentrated better…" Dean said.
"And Santini might've been able to hit better if he wasn't arguing with you over how to hit a Bludger." Peakes said.
"And you were trying to tell me what to do and yelling at Harry a moment later! It's your fault he's in the hospital wing!" Ginny had a wild look in her eye that Matt and Hermione had never seen before. McLaggen, who had been foolish enough to keep his broom with him, rather than store it in the shed with all the others, suddenly found himself relieved of it, while the other members of the team restrained him.
"What're you doing Weasley?! That broom costs more than your whole family makes in a year!" McLaggen snarled.
"It's your fault that we lost, not Matt and Hermione's!" Ginny said and propped his broom against the wall, before taking her foot and bringing her entire body weight down on it, snapping the shaft with a satisfying crack.
"What've you done?! That was a Firebolt!" McLaggen shouted.
"Oh, this old thing? Well, you won't be needing it!" Ginny said, picking up the pieces of the expensive and now destroyed broom. She tossed them into the Drain with a splash.
"No!" McLaggen said and flailed away from Dean, Peakes, Coote, and Robins. The four of them had grabbed onto McLaggen to keep him from outright assaulting Ginny, or Matt and Hermione, but he wrestled free of them. With his arms pinwheeling, Dean and the others grabbed onto McLaggen's robes. However, he was too close to the edge and flailing around too much and slipped out of them, before falling headfirst into the Drain with a splash.
The entire remaining members of the team backed away immediately as McLaggen went under the slop. When he surfaced a moment later in only his boxers, he looked angry. That anger melted away as he ran a hand through his hair and suddenly swiped most of the short blonde wires away.
"No! No! What did you do?!" McLaggen moaned as he felt the hair all over his body dissolve as the Quidditch team minus Harry laughed at him. As he hauled himself up Dean marched over to him and looked the now entirely hairless McLaggen over.
"It's an improvement." Dean said and made to turn away before sending a haymaker punch into McLaggen's jaw. Stunned and reeling, McLaggen toppled over into the wall and slid down it, face first. "And don't ever insult my girlfriend again."
The Quidditch team filed out of the Drain, leaving McLaggen, unconscious, his clothes floating in the pool of goo, behind.
"You're off the team, Cormac!" Ginny said with a high-pitched laugh as they closed the door on him.
"Thank you, for not putting us in that." Matt said as he held Hermione close who was still shaken.
"Sure thing…" Ginny said and immediately took a step backwards. On the landing above them, Peakes, Coote, and Robins were levitating a massive cauldron and tipped it forward. Hermione and Matt yelped as they were showered with what appeared to be leftovers from the kitchen.
The thick morass of old food and drink clung to the couple as it flowed over them, and they shuddered. Matt coughed through the mess as did Hermione, once the cauldron was emptied. Carefully, Matt cleared Hermione's face off; after making sure his own eyes were cleared of any mess.
"We weren't letting you get off that easy. But that hair remover was a step too far." Ginny said and waved at the couple before disappearing off with Dean.
"Oh, this is so unfair! We were sabotaged!" Hermione moaned as she and Matt trudged through the castle, heading for the Prefect's bathroom.
"I know…" Matt said and stopped her, looking down at her and smiled.
"What?" Hermione asked as Matt dipped his head and kissed her on the lips. She quickly pushed him off. "I'm an utter wreck! Not right now!"
"I know, I think you look beautiful no matter what though!" Matt said and Hermione melted a little, agreeing to another kiss.
"Oi! What happened to you two?" Harry asked, approaching them.
"Your teammates." Matt replied dryly.
"They did this?" Harry looked astounded.
"Of course they did! We were abysmal!" Hermione pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Sorry. I hadn't thought they would be so mean…" Harry said looking over the state of them, old food dripping off them in brown and gray drops the size of saucer plates.
"You should see McLaggen. He's not going to be coming back to play, that's for sure." Matt said and slipped his arm around Hermione.
"Nor are we!" Hermione said apologetically. "Sorry Harry. It's just not worth…well…the mess…"