Chapter 17: When Are You Getting Engaged?
The game between the two had really lost all sense of excitement.
In the end, despite everything, Sakurai Saki still had to admit defeat under Shinomiya Kaguya's absurd streak of luck.
There was nothing he could do. The opponent's dice rolls followed no predictable pattern, yet were surprisingly effective—Kaguya managed to dodge Sakurai's properties by a hair's breadth every single time.
The fierce standoff dragged on until the end. Even after drawing his second Seizure Card, Sakurai still couldn't turn the tide.
"Yay! Kaguya-san, we won!" Fujiwara Chika cheered joyfully.
✧◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜✧*｡
Seeing Sakurai Saki lose made her even happier than winning itself!!
"Now it's time for the punishment game! Kaguya-san gets to ask each of us one question!" Fujiwara Chika leaned in close to Kaguya and whispered conspiratorially.
"Hah!? Fujiwara-senpai, are you trying to play telephone through Kaguya-san?! You didn't even win and you want to enjoy the victor's rights?!" Ishigami Yuu grumbled, then muttered, "Are all daughters of politicians this shameless and thick-skinned? Hmph, I'll be staying far away from her from now on…"
( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
He didn't even bother to lower his voice.
Fujiwara Chika heard every word loud and clear.
"I wasn't going to asking Kaguya-san to ask anything for me! Not at all!" Fujiwara Chika shouted in protest.
૮₍ ˶>⤙<˶ ₎ა
With that single sentence, she completely exposed her inner thoughts—as expected of Chika.
"You guys, may I start asking?"
❀.(*´◡`*)❀
Shinomiya Kaguya was eager for the sweet fruits of victory.
She was ready to uncover everyone's weaknesses for the sake of future manipulation and blackmail!
As a Shinomiya, she must have full control over the life and death of the student council!
"Go ahead," Sakurai Saki said, seemingly unfazed.
Outwardly, he looked as calm as still water.
But on the inside, he was boiling with rage.
This man—was a slave to victory!
'What the hell?'
ᕙ( ᗒᗣᗕ )ᕗ
How could a newbie solo wipe three people? Just because she was lucky?
Sakurai Saki took winning and losing very seriously.
So seriously that he could remember a single defeat for over ten years.
A terrifying man indeed.
The word "petty" wasn't enough to describe the level of grudge he could hold.
(Note: haha, I'm totally reading this part in the narrator's voice from Kaguya-sama.)
"Sakurai-san, when do you plan to get engaged to Fujiwara-san?"
It appeared—!!!
A nuclear bomb of a question!!!
The ultimate opening move!!!
Shirogane Miyuki, who had only been casually eavesdropping in hopes of some juicy drama, felt his heart leap out of his chest.
Right—Shinomiya would never be satisfied with just asking if two people were dating or how far along they were.
The Ice Princess Kaguya—a terrifying woman who could not read the room.
The highest level of KY (can't read the air) is not even realizing you're KY.
'This is bad. I've got to help Sakurai out of this!'
Having decided that—
"Maybe… in a few years?" Shirogane Miyuki interrupted.
"I wasn't asking you, Shirogane President." Shinomiya Kaguya cut him down coldly.
(≖_≖ )
"…Okay."
(ᴗ_ ᴗ.)
Shirogane Miyuki shrank back. One hit, completely defeated.
Ishigami Yuu began trembling.
(｡Ó﹏Ò｡)
What if he got hit with a question like that too?
But after thinking for a bit, he suddenly realized—he had nothing to fear.
'Yeah, what's there to be afraid of? Shinomiya-senpai can ask whatever she wants.'
Sorry, but he had so much black history, it didn't even embarrass him anymore.
Ishigami Yuu—a man who uses his dark past as a shield.
So powerful! Maybe nothing in this world could break him now.
( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ
"Engaged? Shinomiya-san, why are you asking that?" Sakurai asked.
"Umu. Weren't the two of you making a baby this afternoon?" Shinomiya Kaguya replied.
With her utterly serious face, everyone—male and female alike—fell into stunned silence.
∘ ∘ ∘ ( °ヮ° ) ?
Ishigami Yuu turned beet red—this was way too stimulating for a virgin like him.
Fujiwara-senpai… and Sakurai-senpai… at school… ha…ha…having se—se—segg!?
(∩˃ω˂∩)
"Making a baby!?"
"Yes. Weren't you two about to kiss?" Kaguya said innocently.
( ╹ -╹)?
Fujiwara Chika suddenly recalled the scene from this afternoon where she had been pinned to the sofa…
She blushed so hard she couldn't say a word.
(⁄ ⁄>⁄~⁄<⁄ ⁄)
"Shinomiya-san, please don't slander me! I'm still a virgin!" Sakurai Saki declared with grave sincerity.
This was a medal of honor only possessed by boys who kept themselves pure—there was absolutely nothing shameful about it!
ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧
"Number of kisses: 0! Number of dates: 0! And all the rest are obviously—[0]!!" Sakurai confidently declared.
ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪
Ishigami Yuu got swept up in the moment:
"I'm a virgin too!!"
(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
Shirogane Miyuki was about to join in, but on second thought found it too embarrassing and only muttered quietly:"…Me too."
(,,¬﹏¬,,)
Fujiwara Chika's sea-blue eyes widened in disbelief.
These three guys… what the hell were they even talking about?!
What did being a virgin have to do with kissing?
"Kaguya-san…" Fujiwara Chika leaned in and whispered into her ear…
"That thing… 'making a baby'… isn't quite like that…"
.
.
.
One minute passed.
Kaguya blinked several times… and in that exact moment—she grew up a little more (mentally).
"Ahem~"
Shinomiya Kaguya turned away, her cheeks bright red, and murmured softly:
"I've known for a long time… Babies definitely aren't brought by storks, and kissing alone can't make one pregnant… I… I know all that already."
(,,¬﹏¬,,)
So in other words… she totally didn't know until now.
The three boys froze in place, each trying to act composed.
"Um… Shinomiya-senpai, I'm sorry." Ishigami Yuu turned his head, glancing at Sakurai Saki.
His shoulders began trembling violently.
A few seconds later—he couldn't hold it in anymore.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
ꉂ (≧ヮ≦)
Shirogane Miyuki straightened up, trying to put on the air of a mature older brother:
"Ishigami! No matter how knowledgeable you are, everyone has gaps in their sex ed! In situations like this, we must never make fun of someone for it!"
Ten seconds later.
Shirogane turned his head—
"Pfft~"
(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)
Sakurai Saki looked at Kaguya's increasingly terrifying expression and said seriously:
"I've received strict training—I normally don't laugh."
Unless—it's something I really can't hold back.
"Umu~ I-I'm not laughing, really." Sakurai covered his mouth with his hand, struggling to contain himself, but the corners of his lips were twitching from the effort.
She truly was a sheltered young lady raised in a gilded cage… her lack of basic knowledge was… excessive.
As the trio's laughter echoed around her, Kaguya's expression turned terrifying.
It was the kind of look that said she was about to grind someone into dust, mix them with concrete, and dump them in Tokyo Bay.
Kaguya: (ಠ益ಠ)
"..."The three boys instantly snapped back to seriousness.
Sakurai Saki quickly answered the previous question:
"About what you asked earlier… for now, I haven't thought that far ahead."
A very… vague answer.
"Ahem. Shinomiya-san, you can move on to someone else now. Please stop staring at me like that."
Otherwise, one day I might snap and wipe out your whole family—wouldn't that be a pain?
Shinomiya Kaguya turned her gaze toward Ishigami Yuu…
"Ishigami-kun, you thought what I said earlier was funny, didn't you?"
Kaguya smiled sweetly—but her eyes were anything but sweet.
Shinomiya Kaguya: ❀.(*ʘ‿ʘ*)❀
Ishigami Yuu: "(ᵕ—ᴗ—)"
Is it too late to run now?
No! I need to run—right this second!
三三ᕕ( ⌓̈ )ᕗ
"I sincerely apologize!!" Ishigami jumped up and bowed deeply.
Then grabbed his bag and bolted for the door.
"Senpai, I just remembered my neighbor's sister asked me to take her to her prenatal checkup today! I'm heading home now!"
"Ohh! Ishigami! Be careful on your way!"
Shirogane Miyuki called out cheerfully, immediately playing along.
Sakurai Saki nodded with a serious face:
"Prenatal checkups for the neighbor's sister are indeed important."
These three… could they please come up with more believable lies?
What the hell does a neighbor's prenatal checkup have to do with Ishigami-kun?
Who's the baby's father? Him?
Fujiwara Chika thought to herself, the corner of her mouth twitching.
Was it really okay to let Ishigami-kun slip away like that?
Recalling the many times he'd mocked her so mercilessly she couldn't lift her head…
Fujiwara Chika smiled brightly and stood up.
"Ishigami-kun, you haven't answered the question yet~ You really plan on leaving just like that~?"
Ishigami froze.
Stood rooted to the spot like a statue.
Dad, Mom, Big Brother, Future Wife, Future Son and Daughter…
I'm sorry… today, it seems I, Ishigami Yuu, won't be coming home again.
༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ
--------------------------------------------
If you like this story, please leave me a comment, review, collection and power stones if you can, that really help me a lot
If you're looking for good fanfics, try reading my other books, you won't be disappointed, promise.
If you want to read 40 advanced chapters and support me to have more motivation to continue as a translator, here is my p.a.t.r.e.o.n pa treon.com/curse_heian_chef
ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧Thanks you, Have a nice day