Chapter 47: WAAAGH Meets Its Match
"The spindly pointy-eared ones and the puny humie prawns are all weaklings. But Godzilla? Godzilla is pure WAAAGH!"
— Ork Freebooter Kaptain Goluk
[Primary Mission: Big WAAAGH!]
Objective: A massive Ork WAAAGH! is coalescing on the galactic fringe. If left unchecked, even the Tyranid Hive Fleets would be hard-pressed to pierce its storm of violence. But Godzilla fears no WAAAGH. He is WAAAGH incarnate. Time to crush it.
Rewards:
Eliminate Kaptain Goluk's WAAAGH: Unlock Skill — Internal Radiation
Destroy Craftworld Tyran Den's Eldar fleet: +200 Points
Halt the advance of Tyranid Hive Fleet Leviathan: +200 Points
"Tyran Den?" Godzilla mused. "Never heard of it. I thought the only Craftworlds were Ulthwé, Alaitoc, Biel-Tan, Iyanden, and Saim-Hann."
[Lore Note: The galaxy is vast. Beyond the five major Craftworlds, countless lesser-known vessels drift through the void, each with its own traditions, colors, and tactics. Some remain hidden even from their kin.]
"Hah. That's the kind of fluff answer I'd expect from GW."
And like any good GW fluff, as long as the number of Craftworlds is never officially nailed down, they can keep inventing more forever.
"Wait, can't I just make them my underlings instead?"
[Caution: Over-collecting 'followers' risks derailing your plot. However, if they willingly pledge themselves to you, that's a different story.]
"…So Aquaman gets fish groupies, but I can't collect Eldar? Rude."
The battlefield still smoldered with the wreckage of the Ancient Gargant known as Ku Juji. Godzilla's dorsal fins crackled with residual atomic energy, and the massive Ork war machine belched black smoke from its ruptured stacks. Its engines sputtered, trying to recover.
"Chop 'im to bits, ya gitz!!"
The Gargant's whirring chainblade and rusted sawarm whined to life. It swung down at Godzilla in a mechanical arc of teeth and violence. Sparks exploded on contact with his scaly hide, but the blade gouged barely a scratch.
With a guttural snarl, Godzilla gripped the entire arm assembly, claws tearing through scrap and steel. He shoved it backward—into Ku Juji's own torso.
The Gargant's crude head casing cracked and split.
Yet Ork machinery doesn't need a brain. Even bisected, Ku Juji's other weapon limbs kept firing wildly, guided by grot riggers and the sheer will of WAAAGH energy. The Orks' morale didn't falter—they never falter—until Godzilla's jaw opened and a cobalt glow surged within.
"Oh zog me..."
Kaptain Goluk, who moments ago was barking orders with pirate swagger, froze in place atop the Gargant's remains.
A split-second later, a titanic blast of atomic fire lanced from Godzilla's mouth, carving through Ku Juji from head to heel. The war machine exploded in a column of molten debris.
Godzilla let the wreckage fall, stepped over it, and cast his gaze toward the Battle Krooza-meteorite squatting nearby.
'Time for the next course.'
With an echoing roar, he fired again. A second atomic ray bored through the heart of the meteorite-fortress, rupturing fuel cores and igniting stockpiles of Ork munitions. The explosion that followed was a catastrophic firestorm, eclipsing even the rainforest's roaring inferno. Trees were vaporized. Smoke blotted out the stars.
The flames licked harmlessly at Godzilla's armored body. He didn't even blink.
As the firestorm waned, the jungle stirred.
The Lizardmen emerged—cold-blooded, alien, and lethal. Clad in iridescent scales, they charged the disoriented remnants of the Ork forces. The surviving Boyz fought back with bolt pistols in one hand and choppas in the other, yelling their war cries into the smoke.
"WAAAGH!!"
But they couldn't hit anything.
Even at close range, their shots bounced harmlessly off the Lizardmen's armor-like hides. And in melee? A single Lizardman warrior could drop an Ork Boy with brutal precision, smashing bone with club, claw, or blade.
The Orks weren't just outmatched—they were outnumbered. Most had already died in the meteorite's detonation or the premature activation of cyclone torpedoes.
The tide of battle was no longer in question.
Godzilla turned his head. Beyond his charred rainforest lay another planet—another target. His next step.
'That one. What's it called?'
[The Eldar refer to that world as Soto.]
Godzilla blinked. 'So-toe, huh?'
Isis, ever attuned to his will, knelt beside a moss-covered monolith. Her golden eyes shimmered.
"My god desires the Webway opened to Soto," she intoned.
The request was clear, but the solution... less so.
Although Isis possessed formidable psychic power, she couldn't open the Webway gate alone. Not yet. Not without help.
That's when the Handmaidens of Slaanesh stirred in the shadows.
Commentary Layer (Diegetic Humor & Meta)
'Honestly, why were the Eldar even fighting the Orks here?' Godzilla thought. 'They're smart enough to pit the Imperium and Orks against the Tyranids just for kicks. Didn't they once bait three entire factions into a war just to sit back and watch the show?'
[Soulstones.]
'Huh?'
[This particular Craftworld recently drove back a Tyranid splinter fleet. They're still recovering soulstones from fallen kin. Then Goluk's WAAAGH crashes in, followed by Tyranid reinforcements.]
'Damn. That's... that's a lot of not taking a break.'
Even Godzilla had to respect the martial tenacity of this particular Eldar force. To fight Tyranids, then Orks, and prepare to fight the Tyranids again?
[According to timeline projections, most of them will fall. Only a few will escape via the Webway.]
'Ah, classic narrative fodder. The tragic background board squad.'
Craftworlds—massive self-sustaining worldships, the last bastions of Eldar civilization—were often the setting for high-stakes sacrifices. Even the lesser-known ones like Tyran Den had governments, militaries, and cultural identities.
Players often called the Eldar "white bean sprouts," a nickname born of their slim frames and pearlescent armor. Still, they weren't pushovers.
'Didn't they dominate the tabletop meta in 10th Edition?'
[They could table a World Eaters army in a single turn.]
'Patch T0 bullying patch dumpster. No surprise.'
Godzilla had never played the actual Warhammer tabletop. The price tag was too steep. But he'd watched others play. It seemed fun, in a masochistic way.
Between the war games, RTS titles, CRPGs, and now this real-life crossover of cosmic warfare, Godzilla had come to understand one truth:
Warhammer wasn't just grimdark. It was fun.
He stomped toward the Webway gate, ready to visit Soto.
A new world. A new battlefield.
And he was still warming up.
********
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