"Eh...!!" My classmate and homeroom teacher looked shocked as they stared at me.
"Really!? Is that you, Minato-san?" my teacher asked, still unable to believe it was me.
"What is it, sensei? Come on, this is really me. Don't you believe me?" I spoke with confidence, completely different from my old shy self.
I wanted to follow my big sister's advice about socializing with others.
"Yes... Um... can I enter the classroom now?" I added.
"Yes, go ahead," my teacher said.
"Is that really Minato-san?" my classmates whispered to each other.
"Yeah, she looks different---not just her appearance, but the way she speaks too," said another.
"Okay, Minato-san, present," she said, marking my attendance record.
I entered my classroom and sat at my desk. "It's been a while since I've been here."
After taking my seat, I noticed most of my classmates staring at me.
"Why are they still staring at me? Did I do something wrong? Is there something on my face?" I thought, as I checked my face.
"Okay everyone, pay attention here. I know you're all focused on Minato-san right now, but we're still in class. You can speak with her afterward," said my homeroom teacher.
We continued with homeroom until my teacher completed the session.
Before she left, she said to me, "Minato-san, during break time, could you come to the staff room? We need to talk, okay?"
"Yes, I'll come there later," I replied.
After the teacher left, many of my classmates approached me, surrounding my desk.
"Are you really Minato-san!?" "You're kidding!" "How did this happen!?" "What happened to you!?" they all exclaimed, shocked by my transformation.
"Wait, wait, everyone. Don't all ask at once. I'll explain, okay?" I said to calm them down.
"That's right. She just returned today. Don't crowd her suddenly," said the class rep, helping me.
With the class rep's help, they managed to settle down.
"Um, Minato-san, we heard your mother passed away a few weeks ago. Are you really okay right now?" asked the class rep.
"Yeah, we feel sorry for you and your family losing your mom," said another who sympathized with me.
What is this? Why are they suddenly curious about me? Didn't they ignore me before? Did something happen during my absence, or did they actually care about me all along and I just didn't notice? I'm so confused right now.
I should just explain everything to them.
"Actually..." I then explained to them everything that happened since my mother passed away and how I had lost so much weight.
"I see, so that's what happened to you," said one of them.
"Yeah, poor you and your family for losing your mom," said another who sympathized with me.
"Also, Minato-san, we all want to apologize for isolating you before. We're truly sorry," said some of them.
"Yeah, I want to apologize too," said another.
Wait, what? They're apologizing to me? This isn't a dream, right? I thought while pinching my hand to check.
Ouch, this isn't a dream... so this is real
Well, If they want to apologize, then I'll just forgive them.
"Don't worry about that. I'm not feeling sad about it anymore, and I forgive you guys for everything," I replied to them.
They felt relieved that I forgave them.
"Let's forget the past and become friends, okay?" I added.
"Yes, let's become friends, Minato-san," they said. "Just call me Akemi, okay?" I said.
"Yeah, let's become friends, Akemi-chan," they said.
Then my relationship with my classmates was fixed, and I started being friends with them from that moment.
After they finished talking to me, they returned to their seats. Then, the class rep approached me.
"I can't believe this, Minato-san. You've changed so much - not only your appearance, but the way you speak has changed too.
You're no longer shy like back then, and you seem more confident."
"Really? Is that so? Well, I want to move forward from now on. I don't want to be shy like that anymore. Also, thanks to my family for supporting me through this," I replied.
"I see, you want to change yourself, huh?" she said.
"Also, thanks, class rep. Even though you hesitated, you did help me before," I said.
"Don't worry, it's not a big deal. It was my duty as class rep, and I'm ready to help if you need me," she said before leaving when she saw the teacher approaching the classroom.
The second period teacher entered, and classes continued until lunch break.
During lunch break, I met my homeroom teacher in the staff room to discuss my situation.
After telling her everything, I returned to my classroom.
As I went inside my classroom, some of my classmates invited me to join them for lunch.
"Akemi-chan, do you want to join us having lunch together?" they said.
"Ah, sorry, I have to go somewhere, maybe next time," I replied apologetically since I had to refuse their invitation.
I walked to Hikaru-kun's classroom with my bento box as usual, but he wasn't there. Hmm, is he absent today?
Since Hikaru-kun wasn't there, I took my bento box to the school garden and ate at the same bench as before.
At first, I was eating alone, before Hikaru-kun suddenly sat beside me. Hikaru-kun asked if it was okay for him to sit there.
Hikaru-kun? Why is he here suddenly? I thought he was absent. Wait, does he not recognize me? I told him it was okay.
Hikaru-kun said thank you and he started eating his bento. I stayed silent, feeling awkward.
Hikaru-kun said he had never seen me there before and asked if I was a new transfer student.
I told him I wasn't a new transfer student, but I lied and said it was my first time eating there.
Hikaru-kun said, "I see," and apologized for asking suddenly. I said it was okay, he wasn't doing anything wrong.
Then I said, "You're Hikaru-kun, right? From class 1A?" trying to break our silence after not seeing him for so long.
"Oh, you know about me, huh?" he said.
"Well, you're famous and everyone among the first-year students talks about you," I lied again.
I also knew Hikaru-kun didn't like standing out and would escape his classmates' attention to get some space for himself.
"Haha, I'm not that famous, that's just a rumor," he said. I just smiled looking at his chuckle.
Gathering my courage, I asked, "Is it okay if I sit with you here?"
"What are you saying? I'm fine with anyone. Don't put yourself down like that," he said.
Hikaru-kun really doesn't judge people by their appearance, I thought.
Then Hikaru-kun spoke up. "By the way, have you seen a chubby girl around here?
"It's been a while since I've seen her. Did she transfer somewhere else?" he said, mentioning my old self.
Wait, is Hikaru-kun looking for me? I thought. I wanted to tell him I was that same girl but couldn't find the courage.
Then I lied to Hikaru-kun once again, "No, I've never seen her. Maybe she got transferred as you said."
"I see, then it can't be helped. Maybe she had reasons to transfer," he said. I just stayed silent and nodded in agreement with him.
While we were eating our bento, a girl suddenly approached Hikaru-kun and grabbed his arm. "Found you, Hikaru-kun," she said.
I was shocked by her sudden appearance.
"Hey, what are you doing eating here suddenly? Why didn't you join me and the others in the classroom earlier?" she said.
"Ah, you, Misaka. I wanted some space for myself today, that's why I'm eating here," Hikaru-kun sighed.
Then the girl noticed me sitting beside Hikaru-kun and said, "What is this? You're sitting here with another girl? Are you cheating on me?"
When I heard her say that, something snapped inside me and I thought, What's with this girl acting like Hikaru-kun's girlfriend?
Then I said, "It's not like that. Hikaru-kun just sat here suddenly."
I tried to speak with a polite tone and calm myself down because Hikaru-kun was present.
"Oh, I see. I thought you were trying to steal Hikaru from me," she said.
"Ah, you're so loud," Hikaru replied, annoyed.
"Sorry about this. She just acts like that," Hikaru-kun apologized for the girl's behavior.
"It's okay, it's not a big deal," I said.
"Come on, Misaka, let's return to our classroom. You're disturbing her lunch." Hikaru-kun smiled and bowed to me as he excused himself to return to his classroom. I just nodded and smiled at him.
Hikaru-kun walked away, leaving the girl behind. "Wait, Hikaru-kun! Why are you walking so fast? Geez…" she sighed.
She turned to me, clicked her tongue---Tsk!---and snapped, "Hey, listen up. Hikaru-kun is mine. Don't you ever make a move on him."
I froze, shocked by her blatant warning.
"Hey, what are you doing? Hurry up!" Hikaru-kun called to her from afar.
"I'm coming!" she called back. "Don't forget that, okay?" she said with a sinister smile before running to catch up with Hikaru-kun.
After they left, I walked back to my classroom alone in the school corridor, deep in thought.
Geez, that girl interrupted my sweet moment with Hikaru-kun. Irritation surged through me, and I clenched my fist.
Wait, I think I've seen that girl before, I thought, trying to remember her.
Oh, that's her---the girl who told me, "So, you have eyes for Hikaru-kun also, huh?" I remembered her words from before.
That's why I felt so irritated earlier.
What was her name again? Misaka...was it?
Damn, what's with her attitude? So annoying!
Calm down, Akemi. You just returned to school today and fixed your relationship with your classmates. Don't let anger ruin everything, I thought.
I suddenly realized I had already arrived at my classroom.
As I entered my classroom, I smiled at my classmates and acted like nothing bad had happened earlier. Then I continued through the rest of the school day until the last class.
After the last class ended, my classmates waved at me as they packed their bags. A few smiled and said, "See you tomorrow, Akemi-chan!" Their voices were friendly, but I still felt awkward.
I'd never experienced anything like this before. I nodded and said goodbye, then hurried home.
As I arrived at my house and entered the building, I called out, "I'm home."
In the living room, my sister, who had already returned from school, greeted me. "Oh, Akemi-chan, welcome back!"
She was folding laundry and looked at me. "How was school today?
Excitedly, I told my sister everything that had happened at school that day, and she listened calmly to my story.
I even told her I'd finally talked to Hikaru-kun again after so long, but I didn't mention that Misaka girl to her.
"That's nice, Akemi-chan. Not bad---in just one day, you managed to fix your relationship with your classmates and even talk with Hikaru-kun. I'm happy for you," she said excitedly.
"Well, it's all because you helped me with all of this. Thanks, onee-chan," I said.
"Keep it up, Akemi-chan. I'm sure you'll be able to get closer to Hikaru-kun after this," she said.
"Well, I'm not sure about that, but I will do my best," I said.
"Yes, that's the spirit," my sister replied.
"Okay, onee-chan, I'll go to my room now. It's too tiring; I want to rest first."
"Okay, go ahead," she replied. I then moved to my room on the upper floor.
As I entered my room, I threw my bag aside and jumped, lying on my bed.
I stared at the ceiling, replaying the moment Misaka interrupted my first real conversation with Hikaru-kun. I clenched the bedsheet, frustrated at how easily Misaka dismissed my presence.
Ugh, that Misaka girl! I muttered to myself, still feeling the irritation from lunch. Who does she think she is, acting like Hikaru-kun's girlfriend?
I sat up, knees pulled tightly to my chest.
After weeks away from school and finally building the courage to change myself, this girl just waltzed in and ruined my moment with Hikaru-kun.
The way she grabbed his arm so casually made my stomach knot.
"Are you cheating on me?" Her words kept repeating in my head like an annoying alarm clock. They weren't even dating—at least, Hikaru-kun never mentioned anything about that before.
Despite the frustration, I wasn't going to give up. The old me would have retreated immediately, but not anymore. I'd worked too hard on changing myself to let someone like Misaka push me back into my shell.
"I won't lose to her," I said to my reflection. "I've changed too much to back down now."
I stood up, smoothed my clothes, and took a deep breath. Okay... I need time to sort through this. Better not jump into talking with Hikaru-kun just yet. I should see what's going on with him and Misaka first.
With that decision made, I felt a little better. I walked to my door to join my family for dinner.
Whatever happened with Hikaru-kun and Misaka, I wouldn't let it ruin today's progress. My classmates were accepting me, and I was finally starting to accept myself.
I went downstairs to help prepare dinner. During the meal, I told my family how my classmates had apologized and welcomed me back.
I didn't mention Hikaru-kun or Misaka—some things I kept to myself.
A few days passed, and I settled into a new routine at school. Things were different now—better.
My classmates included me in their conversations and activities, even inviting me to lunch most days. We laughed and chatted about normal school things. Occasionally, I joined them for karaoke after school. It felt nice to finally be part of the group.
Still, I couldn't help but keep an eye on Hikaru-kun.
Sometimes I'd walk past his classroom, pretending I was on my way somewhere else, just to catch a glimpse of him. But almost every time, I saw Misaka there, hovering around him, talking animatedly while he listened, even though he seemed a bit annoyed with her.
But why did Hikaru-kun keep tolerating her when she clearly annoyed him? Was there something about Misaka that drew him in?
As days turned into weeks, I noticed Misaka lingering around Hikaru-kun more often. It made me so envious watching them from a distance.
It bothered me, but I tried not to show it while trying to convince myself they were just close classmates.
Even after seeing them like that, my feelings for Hikaru-kun didn't change, and I wasn't ready to give up on him yet.
A month passed. One day, during lunch break, I was sitting with my classmates eating lunch together.
One of my friends said, "Hey, did you hear? Hikaru-kun from Class 1A is starting to date Misaka.
"Oh, that famous rich boy, right? I always hear about him from others," said one friend.
"That Misaka girl isn't bad either. I heard she has talent in drawing and just won an award in a competition a few weeks ago," said another friend.
"No wonder they fit together. I'm so envious of them," they said together.
I froze in shock, my chopsticks dropping onto the table.
"Is that true?" I asked them.
My friend said, "I just heard it as a rumor. I'm not sure if it's true."
Another friend said, "What's wrong, Akemi-chan? Your face turned pale."
"Wait, don't tell me you have feelings for Hikaru-kun?" another said.
I chuckled as I picked up my chopsticks again. "What are you guys talking about? No way I'd be a match for a famous guy like him."
But inside, my thoughts were racing. Wait, they became a couple? Since when? I couldn't believe it---it had to be a rumor.
After lunch, I immediately went to Hikaru-kun's classroom. When I peeked inside, Hikaru-kun and Misaka were enjoying a conversation together.
Unlike before, when Hikaru-kun seemed annoyed with Misaka, today was different. He was actually smiling and laughing at something she said. He seemed happy with her.
My heart sank. The rumor was true. My chest tightened as I watched them laugh together.
I leaned against the wall as a few tears slipped down my cheeks.
Why her, why not me, Hikaru-kun?
So is this the end for me? Was I too late---or just too afraid to reach out to him properly---that I ended up losing him to her? I thought to myself.
I couldn't think straight and felt defeated. I sighed and accepted my loss to Misaka, then quickly wiped my tears.
I've had enough. He's clearly happy with her. There's no place for me anymore. I lost. I should just return to class.
I walked back to my classroom, hiding my sadness. My friends immediately noticed anyway.
"Akemi-chan, what's wrong? You look a bit sad. Did something happen?" they asked me.
"It's nothing. I just read a sad novel earlier, and it made me really sad," I lied to them. I didn't want to tell them I was sad because I had lost Hikaru-kun.
I sat down at my desk and suddenly remembered what my late mom had said to me: "You need to be strong. Be yourself and be honest about your feelings."
"What do you mean, mom? I don't know how to be honest with myself and my feelings. I'm not as strong as you wanted," I thought to myself.
When the final bell rang, I turned toward my friends who were packing their bags.
"Hey, do you guys want to go to karaoke today?" I suggested.
"Huh? That's sudden. It's rare for you to suggest it," said my friend.
"Well, I'm free today. I have nothing to do at home," I replied.
"Why not? Let's go," one of them said.
"Yeah, sounds fun! Count me in too," said another.
I wanted to distract myself from what had happened today and forget about my sadness.
For two hours, we sang, laughed, and shared snacks together. I sang loudly to upbeat songs, trying to enjoy myself.
But even with all the noise and fun, I still couldn't stop thinking about Hikaru-kun and Misaka. Every time I stopped singing, I remembered them laughing together in the classroom.
After karaoke, we said goodbye and headed our separate ways. Walking home alone, all the feelings I had pushed down came flooding back.
When I arrived home, I called out, "I'm home."
"Welcome back, Akemi-chan," my sister greeted me from the living room. She was folding laundry as usual.
I tried to smile and walk past her toward the stairs, but she noticed something was wrong.
"Akemi-chan, what's wrong?" she asked. "What happened in school today? Please tell me..."
I turned to face my big sister, and tears started falling from my eyes. I walked over and hugged her while crying loud.
"Akemi-chan, why are you crying?" she asked, hugging me back.
"Don't tell me you're still being bullied and isolated? Tell me who did it to you---I'll make sure they regret it," she said firmly.
I shook my head. "No, it's not because I was bullied. It's something else," I replied between sobs.
My sister pulled back slightly. "Something else? What do you mean?"
After calming down enough to stop crying and wiping my face, I told her everything about Hikaru-kun and Misaka---how I saw them together today and how the rumors about them dating seemed to be true.
"I see," my sister said after listening. "So the person you like, Hikaru-kun, already has a girlfriend. Poor you..." She gently patted my head to comfort me.
"Onee-chan," I said after a moment.
"What is it?" her sister replied.
"Is it okay if I give up on him already?" I asked.
My sister replied, "It's up to you, Akemi-chan. You decide for yourself. If you think this will hurt your feelings, better to forget him for your sake. "
"I see," I replied.
"I'm not forcing you, but it's your decision, okay," my big sister added.
I started thinking about what my sister said. It was true—better to forget him for my own good.
But how? I had liked him for a long time. It wasn't easy to forget him just like that.
Anyway, I will try my best. Thanks, onee-chan," I said. "No problem. I'll always support you whatever you decide," my sister replied.
From that moment, I slowly tried to forget about Hikaru-kun. I no longer thought about him, just let him be with Misaka.
When I run into him at school, I just act like a stranger who has never met him before.
I also no longer visited his classroom anymore or went to the school garden bench. I now joined my classmates eating together, and since I wasn't involved with Hikaru-kun anymore, I could focus on to improve myself and getting along with my classmates. My classmates and I became closer than before.
Over the next few months, the school year drew to a close. As the final exams had already ended, today we all got our final exam results. Like before, I managed to get first place in my classroom. Not only that, I got 1st place among all first-year students.
My classmates surrounded me and congratulated me.
"Wow, Akemi-chan, you managed to get first rank in the entire year!"
"As your classmates, we're all proud of you!"
"So expected of my friend Akemi-chan," said another.
I felt so happy that my friends and classmates acknowledged me so much, unlike during the mid-year exam earlier when I got first place but no one cared about it.
My sister grinned and patted my back, while Dad nodded proudly. "Well done, Akemi. Your mother would be proud to see this too."
"Yes, that's right," my sister agreed with him. "Why don't you tell her now?" she suggested.
I placed the report card on the small altar beside Mom's photo. "I'm doing okay now," I whispered. "I even made more friends."
Later, Dad announced, "Let's celebrate with dinner outside." My brother, my sister and I agreed, and we ate at a nearby restaurant.
That night, as I lay in bed, I replayed the day.
So it was true—for my own good, forgetting about Hikaru-kun was the right option. It no longer hurt my feelings or made me jealous.
But a part of me still can't let go of him. It keeps pushing me to focus on Hikaru-kun again, and I'm confused about what to do next.
Time passed without me noticing. The spring is arrived.
Next week, I'll be a second-year student. I wonder what will happen next…
To be continued…. Amemonogatari XI