It had been several nights since Operation: Find the Pink Freak began, and guess what? We still hadn't found that narcissistic, flamboyant scientist creep Szayelaporro. Not even a pink toenail. Hueco Mundo's a big place, sure — but how does a bright pink pervert like that hide in a world of nothing but sand and bones? I was losing my damn mind.
But worse than that? Aizen.
Ever since Grimmjow turned into a female panther, Aizen's life became pure hell. Every time he got that look in his eye and tried to get close to her, he ended up getting beaten to within an inch of his life. I mean, flattened. Comically flattened. You'd think he'd stop trying, but no — my loyal boy never learns.
And every time I saw him lying there — bruised, drooling, tail twitching — my heart broke a little.
"My poor boy… my son…"
Even though he's my pet, Aizen's like family to me. I miss Spike o Sensei, still tangled up in Baraggan's old castle roots… but this? This hurt worse. I had to help him.
And then the most beautiful, idiotic idea hit me.
If Grimmjow's too strong, why not boost Aizen up?
I'll evolve him into a Vasto Lorde.
Then maybe he can finally mate with female Grimmjow and get his pride back. I even started thinking of names for their future kid.
If it's a boy: Barkjow Pantera.
If it's a girl: Aizennjow.
Or maybe DogPantera Jr.
I teared up, ready to be a proud grandpa.
But there was one issue: my skill only works if I truly believe it'll work — and thanks to my idiot aura, I needed help. Which meant one thing…
I turned to Shawlong.
That useless big brother. The man who bragged about having a twin but couldn't even remember where he was.
I beat the absolute hell out of him.
"USELESS BIG BROTHER!!" I shouted, stomping his face into the sand. "HOW THE HELL DON'T YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR OWN BROTHER'S HIDING?!"
Shawlong coughed up sand. "I… I… I haven't seen him since he tried to dye my hair pink when we were five…"
"AND YOU CALL YOURSELF SMART?!"
I didn't stop until Yammy begged me to, saying he wanted to use Shawlong as a pillow. Fine. I let off.
Panting, I yelled, "Get your pendulum or whatever hypnotist junk you got, and make me believe Aizen's a Vasto Lorde. DO IT. FOR MY BOY!"
Shawlong groaned. "Boss… Grimmjow shoved the pendulum up Yammy's nose…"
We both turned to Yammy, who was happily digging in his nostril.
"THEN FIND SOMETHING ELSE!" I shouted, kicking sand at them.
I didn't care how, I was gonna save my boy.
Operation: Make Aizen a Daddy was officially in motion.