The air inside our crumbling, bone-decorated base grew heavy as those three Shinigami finally strolled in like they owned the place. Front and center, with his smug little glasses and calm, smug little face, was Aizen Sosuke. And behind him? His two loyal asslickers — one lanky dude with greasy hair and another with a scarf trying too hard to look serious.
Almost every member of the Bone Circle was busy doing idiot things. Yammy was arm-wrestling a rock. Edrad was punching the floor. Nakeem was having a deep conversation with a cactus. And Grimmjow — still stuck as a female panther — was chasing a moth around the room with unholy fury. No one cared that three Captain-level Shinigami just showed up. Peak Bone Circle energy.
I, being the only one with a functioning brain cell left (barely), approached Aizen.
He gave his trademark smug smile and said, "Look at my Zanpakutō."
I snorted. "Don't waste your time, four-eyes. Your Zanpakutō's hypnosis trick doesn't work on me."
A small twitch in his eye. I knew that annoyed him. Good.
Then, as expected, he gave me his little sales pitch. "Join me. Serve under my command. I'll grant you power beyond anything you've ever known."
Typical villain speech. I let him finish, mostly because my reiryoku was basically zero. I was at my weakest point, still recovering from too many idiotic plans, failed hypnosis sessions, and the unholy mess that was Operation Make Aizen A Daddy. Fighting them now would've been suicide.
So I smiled and said, "Fine. I accept… on one condition. We'll follow you — but we're not your servants. We don't take every order. You give us power, we get stronger, but we stay Bone Circle."
Aizen gave a tiny, smug smirk. "Acceptable."
I could tell he was hoping I'd fall for his crap eventually, but not today, Sosuke. Not today.
Then, that old fossil Baraggan's name came up. Turns out, Aizen already had him as a subordinate. Figures. That rusty-bone fossil probably sold out to save his own ancient butt.
What made it funnier? Baraggan apparently warned them about my passive skill. Yeah — my accidental aura of idiocy that turned everyone within a certain radius into a moron. Aizen kept a noticeable distance the whole time. His two asskissers too. Couldn't risk becoming dumber by proximity.
Smart move.
As the deal was sealed and they prepared to leave, I glanced over at Aizen.
"One more thing," I called.
He turned, eyebrow raised.
"Tell your pet Baraggan I said hi."
And with that, the most lopsided alliance in Hueco Mundo history was born. Not because I trusted Aizen, not because I liked him, but because sometimes, you gotta be clever when you're broke, out of power, and surrounded by absolute idiots.
Besides… I still had a female Grimmjow chasing a moth to deal with.
And honestly, that was a bigger problem at the moment.