The stale air of the Beta's home, thick with unspoken tension, seemed to press down on everyone present. The moment the words left Keal's mouth, Beta Carter's jaw tightened, an immediate urge to chastise the warrior rising within him. However, the bitter realization hit him just as quickly, a cold wave washing over his initial anger. They were defectives. They were wolves without teeth in a world where strength dictated survival. And because of that devastating fact, his daughter, Trinity, would have to be locked away every time she went into heat, treated as if she were ground zero for a contagion.
The realization made his heart ache, a dull throb beneath his ribs. He had always yearned for his daughter to know the profound depth of the mate bond, to experience the complete connection, to know someone to their very core. But because of a flaw in his own genetic makeup, she would endure the raw pain and crushing humiliation of her heat without the option to lessen its effects with a true bond.
Ryan's words, however, sharpened Boris's focus, and his eyes, usually a calm blue, bled to an impenetrable black. He pivoted abruptly, his gaze fixing on Keal. "Why do you keep looking for her?" The question was a low growl, barely restrained.
Boris's obsidian eyes narrowed further on Keal, the warrior appointed to protect his daughter. He felt the raw power of his wolf surge, tearing through his human skin, an invisible aura of killing intent radiating from him. Bloodlust, thick and metallic, began to cloud his mind. Had Keal dared to look at his daughter with improper intent? Had he tried to touch her?
Veins in Boris's body bulged, coiling with contained power as he squared his shoulders, his muscles flexing under his clothes. The primal need to rip Keal's head from his shoulders pulsed through him.
"What's going on?" Ryan asked, his voice cutting through the heavy silence. He instinctively stepped away from the Beta, pulling a confused Jess with him, her eyes wide.
The soft mental touch from Boris's mate, a soothing wave of understanding, sent a calming sensation through his body. She must have felt his rising fury through their bond.
Trinity is in heat, he telepathically conveyed to her, the words stark and simple in his mind.
He kept his gaze fixed on Keal, his eyes now clear, the black receding to a menacing indigo. Keal, sensing the Beta's dangerous shift, had the good sense to keep his head bowed, leaving his neck exposed in a clear sign of submission.
"Leave. Now." Boris spat out each word, a guttural command laced with the raw power of his Beta order. When a Beta used such an order, it spoke directly to the human's inner wolf, a bone-deep imperative they were unable to disobey.
Keal did not need to be told twice. He turned, his body coiling, and rushed through the door. He hit the treeline bordering the back of the property, bursting into his wolf form mid-stride, a blur of brown fur disappearing into the dappled shadows of the ancient forest. Boris was quick to slam the door behind him. The old wood shrieked in protest against the harsh treatment, sounding as if it might shatter into a thousand pieces.
"Does she smell bad?" Jess wondered aloud, her brow furrowed in confusion. She thought her father was being a bit overdramatic, but then again, maybe it was a dog thing.
Ryan's mind finally snapped the scattered pieces together. Trinity had gone into heat. This was bad. This was one of the reasons why he and his brother had had to leave five years ago, leaving behind their modest, middle-class home in the small town.
The human residents of their home town wouldn't be aware, but Trinity gave off an incredibly potent and irresistible scent when she went into heat. It was so strong that it even affected Ryan, whose own wolf genes lay dormant. Unlike his brother, he was able to somewhat control himself; simply avoiding Trinity at certain times was enough to help him survive her heat cycle.
But Grayson was different. He was a full wolf, his senses far more acute. He could smell her before she even entered the house. Because he was unmated, the scent would send him into an uncontrollable spiral. In the beginning, he had been able to control himself, leaving their home and staying far from her during her heat. But once their parents passed, that control became a struggle. Ryan's mind drifted back to the past, to the days just before they had left five years ago.
5 years ago…
Pushing open the front door to their modest, two-story house, Ryan let himself in, kicking off his well-worn sneakers by the cluttered entryway. He heard the clatter of pots and pans from the kitchen, a familiar sound that meant Grayson was cooking. Not giving much attention to his brother, he simply waved a hand in the air as he moved into the cramped living room, dropping his book bag onto the worn rug. Like his brother, he too intended to become an engineer.
They had gotten lucky. Their parents, always pragmatic, had maintained contingency plans in case the worst ever happened.
"How was school?" Grayson called from the kitchen, his voice warm as he whipped up a simple meal in their small, out-of-date kitchen. The room was bathed in the warm glow of an overhead light, casting long shadows on the peeling linoleum floor.
Ryan sometimes felt a pang of guilt that his brother felt obligated to act as if he were their father, especially since their parents had passed away.
"Fine, just have a shit ton of homework." Senior year was working him to the bone, grinding him down with its endless demands.
"Let me know if you need help." Grayson knew his brother struggled in school. He didn't want him to fail, but he would give him the chance to try before he stepped in to ensure his success. It was what their parents would have wanted him to do.
"Sure," Ryan said, rolling his eyes. He wasn't a genius like his brother. In everything, he was just… normal.
Unlike his brother, Ryan wasn't naturally brilliant. He didn't just get things. Grayson had been a quick study when it came to everything. Ryan wasn't sure if it was just his wolf genes that made him better at learning, but he rarely asked for help, not unless he truly needed it.
"Are the girls coming over?" Grayson wondered, already preparing extra portions of food for his pseudo-dependents.
Sitting on their floral-patterned couch, a relic his mother had picked out, Ryan sank into the soft cushions. He tried to ignore the sharp pang in his heart when he thought of his mother. Shaking his head, he cleared his thoughts, focusing on the present.
Ryan smirked to himself. He knew what his brother meant. Was Trinity coming over? Though Grayson would never admit it, he did have a distinct interest in Trinity. Ryan wasn't entirely sure what that interest was, but he definitely wasn't worried about it. Grey would never harm Trin. He knew his brother didn't give Jess a second thought, only warning him to keep his distance to save them both the heartache. That warning seemed to make him barely spare Jess a glance. But Trinity was different. She had always caught his eye. Yet, Ryan also knew that Grey was holding out for his soulmate, a bond far deeper than mere interest.
Looking up from his phone, Ryan gave his brother a teasing smile, deciding not to divulge whether or not the girls would be coming over.
Even though it was safe to say they would be. There was rarely a night they didn't come over. Jess had her own place, having been the first of them to turn eighteen. But Trinity was lagging behind them by a few months.
With a soft knock at the door a few hours later, Ryan knew it had to be Trinity. He pushed himself up from the couch, resting his now empty plate on the coffee table before moving to answer the door. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his brother stiffen on the couch beside him, but Ryan didn't give his actions a second thought, knowing Grayson's wolf nose could smell the garbage people put out three streets down.
Suddenly, the beer bottle Grayson was holding in his hand shattered, shards of glass scattering across the worn rug. His eyes, usually a calm brown, began to flicker violently from black to brown, over and over and over again, like a strobe light. His fingers twitched, and his claws began to elongate, pushing through with brutal force, breaking his nail beds open. A light trickle of blood coated his talons. His breath came out in heavy, ragged gasps as he gripped his hair, his sharp nails biting into his scalp, drawing thin lines of blood.
Ryan could tell by the way he was gripping that he had to be ripping his hair out in clumps. A cold dread seeped into him. He felt fear for his brother, a fear that churned in his gut. He didn't know what to do. He wasn't a wolf. He couldn't help, couldn't speak into his brother's mind, couldn't pull him back from the brink.
"What's happening!?" Ryan demanded, his voice laced with panic.
Ryan felt as if his entire world had frozen, suspended in time as he waited for his brother to respond. He was lost. His family had told him what he needed to know about wolves, but it didn't cover everything, and he hadn't been that interested. So now, he didn't know how to help his brother, and his parents were gone. It was just him.
"Her. Mate. Bite," Grayson growled, the words fragmented and nonsensical. He was trying desperately to hold on to his sanity, but it was becoming harder and harder for him with every heat Trinity had.
He had been trying to track it, always ensuring he was away when it would happen. Even though her scent, clinging to the very fabric of their home, made him want to tear at his human facade, to bind her down beneath him, to slam his swollen length between her milky thighs as he claimed her as his own.
But her scent! He couldn't tell if it was getting stronger, or if his control was simply getting weaker. But he could feel his control fraying at the edges, a thin thread about to snap. He wasn't so sure she would live through his assault of carnal passion.
His shift came on unnaturally and wrong, completely out of his grasp, forcing his body into involuntary transformations.
"Heat." Grayson wasn't sure if his brother understood him or not. His vocal cords were already thickening, becoming those of his wolf, making coherent speech an agonizing struggle.
The word heat was the last, terrifying piece Ryan needed. Whoever was at the door was in heat, and they needed to leave, now.
Running to the door, he didn't want to risk opening it, didn't want to expose Trinity to his brother's rage. Looking through the peephole, he could see it was indeed Trinity, her casual pose contrasting sharply with the chaos within.
Grabbing his phone, he was quick to send her a text message, his fingers flying across the screen.
Grey is in a really foul mood. Not a good time. He typed at lightning speed.
He watched as she frowned down at her phone, her shoulders slumping slightly, but she left all the same. He didn't want to risk opening the door; he knew if his brother went berserk, he wouldn't be able to stop him. The further away she got, the more Grayson began to calm down, his trembling lessening, but the edge of something feral remained, a dark promise lurking beneath the surface.
Ryan stood at the doorway, looking at his brother in stunned puzzlement. It had never been this bad before. Yes, Trinity smelled downright edible when she was in heat. He even had the urge to mount her, something in his dormant wolf genes responding to her unknown invitation. But it hadn't been like this before. Something had changed. Something his brother hadn't told him about.
"What's going on?" Ryan asked, his voice low and urgent.
"It can't be just us. I have to find other wolves." Grayson spoke in a resolved tone, his forehead beaded with sweat. He still remained heaving, hands and knees on the ground, his body hunched as he struggled to find himself, bits of his human self lost in his wolf, still not perfectly whole. It wasn't a conversation anymore. It was time. He had given his brother all the time he could, but his mind was slipping, the edges blurring into a terrifying madness.
Grayson didn't want to risk becoming like all the other rogues, those feral, untamed wolves without the stability of a pack. He didn't want to turn on those he called family and friends. Even though he had emotional barriers towards Trinity, whatever emotion it was, he couldn't fight it anymore. He couldn't hide the strain he was going through. It was becoming too much. He was risking his brother, risking an infatuation he couldn't even truly partake in without catastrophic consequences.
"Why?" Ryan asked solemnly, his voice a quiet admission of defeat. He knew his brother had to leave; it wasn't a question of if he would go. Ryan would leave too. His home was wherever his brother was.
"Did Dad ever tell you why lone wolves are called rogues versus just a lone wolf?" Grayson asked, his breath still catching, gauging his brother's knowledge.
"Dad never told me any of the hard things. He wasn't as close to me as he was to you." Ryan hated to admit it, hated to say it out loud, knowing it could hurt his brother. Ryan was always closer to his mother, but Grayson and his dad had been inseparable, a private club Ryan could never quite enter. His dad would never say it, but Ryan knew it was probably because he wasn't a wolf. There was just a certain amount of his father's existence that he would never be able to understand. And for whatever reason, he didn't even want to try to bring him into the fold at times.
Grayson didn't know what to say. He knew his dad loved Ryan. But he just didn't think there was a point in telling him about many wolf things. Ryan would never experience it. What was the point? Some things couldn't just be understood with words; they had to be experienced. So he focused on me. "When you leave a pack, you're not just moving away. You're cutting mental and physical ties with those wolves. In our human form or wolf skin, we are social creatures. We become feral when we are alone. Our wolf deems everyone a threat. There's a certain level of humanity that only happens when in a group. A rogue wolf has no ties to anything. And having no ties warps the mind, brings out the darkest impulses that you didn't even know existed."
Grayson let the words sink in, searching for the explanation that would make his brother understand the profound seriousness of his problem. "Rogues… like me, we all suffer from madness. A destabilization of our wolf self that afflicts our human side greatly. We start to lose control of our wolves, of the ability to shift. Some of us get trapped in our wolf skin, while others in human form. Both are unimaginable prisons. It just makes everything worse, Ryan."
Ryan felt a crushing weight settling on his chest, a leaden cloak of guilt. It had been some time that Grayson had been hiding this. Years! All for what? So he could stay with his friends, while his brother slowly lost his mind. The thought was a bitter bile in his throat.
"How long has it been like this?" Ryan asked, his voice hoarse, his guilt settled on him, gnawing away at his selfishness. The agonizing realization of what he was doing, what he was taking from his brother, made his stomach clench.
"Since they died." Grayson knew his parents were his pack, his anchor. Once they passed away, the clock officially started ticking. He had become a rogue officially, not just in name. And it had been hard.
"I'm losing control of my ability to shift," Grayson spoke lowly, his throat tight as he swallowed painfully slow. He was scared. He didn't know who he was if he couldn't shift anymore.
"We can't—you can't take these kinds of risks or even keep it to yourself. We're brothers. You're all I have."
Choked with emotion, Ryan grasped his brother's arm, pulling him up from the floor. He wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug, equally scared of his brother's waning stability and the terrifying possibility of losing him. He just didn't want to lose anything else, anyone else.
In his heart, Ryan knew why his brother didn't tell him. His parents had risked the madness of becoming a rogue to keep their family together, and Grayson had done the same. He risked becoming a monster, a feral beast, just to keep Ryan close and blissfully unaware.
"When do we need to go?" Ryan asked with a newfound determination, stepping back and letting his brother go. It was time he did something for his family. He could risk unhappiness for them.
"I have to leave you here. I need to go north. There's a larger area of lone wolves." Ones that haven't lost their minds. In cities, you're going to find more crazed rogues, like the one that had ended up in Trinity's life, twisted by their solitude.
"I'm coming!" Ryan declared, his voice firm.
"Ryan," Grayson said in a stern voice, his eyes pleading. He didn't want his brother to give up everything that gave him comfort and peace just to follow him into an uncertain future.
It wouldn't be safe. He'd been feeling the insidious effects of the madness creeping in: uncontrollable bouts of anger that left him trembling, his body turning against him, shifting different parts of his body without his consent, a claw here, a patch of fur there. The fantasies that felt so real, of ripping out her throat, tasting her blood on his tongue. Images of Trinity bathed in blood, torn to pieces, haunted him relentlessly. It made his waking hours, when he'd see her pristine face, jarring to his senses, a brutal contrast to his dark imaginings.
Even though he had no conscious evil thoughts towards Trinity, his mouth still watered with a disturbing satisfaction as he thought of all the ways he could hurt her, of how much he'd enjoy it.
"If you can risk losing your mind for me, I can change zip codes. I'm sure Jess and Trin would visit."
"They can't!" Grayson snapped, the denial sharp. He didn't trust himself around Trinity. When Jess went into heat, it smelled nice, pleasant even, but nothing that would send him spiraling into madness. But it had always been different with Trinity. Her scent only grew stronger, more intoxicating, as the years went on.
He no longer trusted himself when she was in heat. He even found himself curious about her in the worst, most carnal ways when he just saw her, even when she was no longer in heat. Those moments terrified him, the line blurring between his humanity and the encroaching madness. It was getting harder to decipher whether it was the madness of being a rogue or just something inherently wrong inside of him. More and more, his mind would wander to darker paths, making him question if he was truly the son his parents had raised so well.
Her scent was too strong, a siren song to his primal urges, and he didn't have the balancing stability of a pack to protect her from him.
"She makes it hard for me to keep it away." Grayson didn't even want to say her name. He didn't want the echo of her name to make him think of her as a dark delight he wanted to possess and destroy.
"Why?" Ryan asked, his confusion genuine. Why was Trinity such a trigger for him? She's a good person. She doesn't bring out the worst in anybody.
Grayson found himself in the agonizing position of having to admit what he did not want to ever speak out loud, the truth a bitter, metallic taste in his mouth.
"Your wolf is dormant, and you can barely think straight when you smell her heat. She is so fucking tempting, and she's just prey around me." Grayson found himself gritting his teeth at the end, his body trembling, feeling his madness flare up again. Patches of fur began to show on his skin, dark hairs sprouting erratically. Grayson's nostrils flared, trying to pull in the last remnants of her scent that lingered in the air, a phantom fragrance that promised ruin. His eyes flashed black one last time before slowly returning to their regular, haunted brown.
"My wolf wants her." Grayson knew it wasn't just his wolf. He wanted her. To fuck her senseless. To grip her long, flowing black hair with his fist. To shove her face so deeply to the floor she could barely breathe. To see her on all fours, dripping wet, begging, screaming, pleading for him. Everything bare for him to feast on.
"Yeah, I know you have a thing for her—" Ryan started, only to be cut off abruptly by Grayson.
"No, you don't understand. Not me. Forget about how you think I feel. My wolf wants her. It is a desire without end, fueling me, a burning hunger that consumes everything else. It is dangerous for my wolf to want anything that bad. And he wants her… even if it will kill her."
"Oh." Ryan was left stunned, the single word hanging in the air. He didn't really understand. How could a simple infatuation, or crush, or whatever you called it, make you want to harm the one you so readily cared for? It made no sense.
"What do you do at these times?" Grayson asked, his voice strained, because they were not in the same boat, not even close.
What was he supposed to do? Other than avoid her, what could he do? Ryan didn't feel like ripping the clothes off his best friend because she smelled like everything he wanted to devour. But thinking of what his brother had just said, it made him think a bit more deeply, truly remembering the times of her previous heats, or when she had been right next to him.
He wasn't immune. Sometimes he would find reasons to touch her, abusing the closeness of their friendship. He felt like shit afterward, a wave of self-loathing washing over him, but he always chalked it up to a lack of control, a momentary slip-up. Her last heat, he couldn't even be in her presence. The need had gotten so strong. It wasn't as if he'd attack her, but he did think about seducing her. And with his level of knowledge, he knew it would work. And that thought freaked him out enough to avoid her the last time.
The present
Ryan stood in the Beta's living room, the quiet hum of the house doing little to calm his racing thoughts. He didn't know what to tell Beta Carter, the enormity of the situation pressing down on him. He knew that Trinity was at grave risk. Her scent would radiate across the hidden valley, sending the biggest smoke signal to all unmated wolves, a smell so delicious, so intoxicating, that any unmated wolf would lose all sense of self, devolving into a primal, desperate beast.
He didn't exactly know how to explain Trinity's raw, sexual allure to her father. It's not the most casual of conversations, Ryan thought, a grimace touching his lips. Bracing himself, he took a deep, shuddering breath.
"No unmated male can be anywhere near here," Ryan stated, his voice firm despite his inner turmoil. "And you're going to need a lot of mated warriors to stand guard."