Midnight.
Somewhere deep beneath the Royal Magic Academy, past forbidden dungeons, cursed locker rooms, and the janitor's suspiciously haunted closet, a secret door groaned open.
Inside, five velvet thrones circled a glowing summoning pentagram, a single flickering candle perched upon an ominous skull-shaped holder in the center.
Above it, a hand-painted sign read:
"Welcome to the First Official Emergency Yandere Council."
"Attendance: Required. Snacks: Optional. Casual Death Threats: Encouraged."
Lilia sat on the central throne, wearing full ceremonial white nun robes embroidered with bloody red hearts. She slammed her golden staff down.
"Let the meeting come to order. The topic: Emilia."
Around her, four very different, very homicidal women responded like clockwork.
Princess Seraphina adjusted her tiara with the grace of royalty—while sharpening a poison-tipped hairpin.
Drakana stretched like a lioness on her chair, muscles taut, her tail flicking lazily behind her. She had brought grilled meat skewers.
Yui, dressed in her academy uniform but now with thirty-seven enchanted paper charms pinned across her arms and legs, murmured curses in three ancient dialects.
And then there was Rosette. Quiet Rosette.
She was knitting.
Her scarf read: DIE EMILIA DIE in delicately embroidered letters.
"How should we deal with this… abomination of normalcy?" Lilia said, folding her fingers like a holy cult leader planning a particularly passive-aggressive bake sale.
"Exorcism," Yui whispered, eyes glowing faintly. "She's too pure. She must be hiding demonic origins."
"She offered Rei cookies," Drakana muttered. "Real ones. Not laced with love-sickness powder. Just flour and sugar. Why?"
Seraphina raised a royal brow. "She even asked if he was okay after class. Like she wasn't about to carve her initials into his spine. Barbaric."
[System Notification: Warning – Normalcy Detected Within 5 Meters of Host]
[Advisory: You are surrounded by psychotically obsessed ultra-possessive romantic entities. Please enjoy Emilia's cookies responsibly.]
Lilia stood, the candlelight catching the crimson glint in her eyes.
"She sat next to Rei. Smiled at him. Did not stake a territorial claim or even threaten genital mutilation. This is a code red. We are at war."
Rosette raised her hand.
"Yes, Sister Rosette?"
"Assassination," Rosette said cheerfully. "Poison her shampoo. Or swap her healing potions with sneeze-inducing laxatives. I've drawn up a list of fifty options. With diagrams."
She held up a scroll that unraveled and kept unraveling until it hit the skull candle, setting it mildly on fire.
Seraphina blew it out with an annoyed puff. "This is drastic even for us. Let's investigate first. Maybe she's secretly a rival princess, or a demon, or… I don't know, cursed by a purity goddess."
"No one's that sweet unless they've killed a man with a smile," Drakana said, gnawing on a bone.
Yui's eyes lit up. "Ooh, what if she's actually a Yandere? The ultimate form. Hidden behind a mask. Waiting. Planning."
The others went quiet.
For one single, chilling moment… they all nodded.
"Oh gods," Lilia whispered. "What if she's… better than us?"
Rosette narrowed her eyes.
"I'll kill her anyway."
Meanwhile, in a dorm room far, far above…
Rei sneezed violently, almost dropping the cookie he'd been munching on.
It was surprisingly delicious. Chocolate chip. Still warm.
"…I'm in danger," he whispered.
[System Notification: You Are in Danger]
[Estimated Survival Rate Over the Next 24 Hours: 11%]
[Tip: You can use cookies as a temporary defensive item.]
[New System Feature Unlocked: Yandere Threat Tracker Beta Edition – Now with Scent Detection]
He glanced around nervously. The dorm was empty—for now. Emilia had left after tutoring him on potion math. She hadn't even tried to flirt.
He'd asked her what her motive was.
She'd said, "I just think you're funny and sweet, and everyone deserves a friend!"
… A friend?
[System Alert: Critical Error. That Word Is Not in Any Wife's Vocabulary.]
Back in the Yandere Council Dungeon
Yui chanted softly. A magical illusion shimmered in the air, revealing a glowing projection of Emilia smiling in class. In the background, Rei was mid-sneeze.
"She's even cute when she's happy," Drakana growled. "I hate it."
Seraphina squinted. "Zoom in."
The illusion zoomed. Emilia was gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
Zoom again. Her eyes sparkled.
Zoom again. She was offering Rei another cookie.
Zoom again.
Now her mouth moved. She was saying:
"I really enjoy spending time with you, Rei."
The room erupted into chaos.
"She's moving too fast!" Yui shouted, throwing a curse tag at the wall.
"She doesn't even live with him yet!" Drakana shouted, cracking her knuckles.
"I bled on our pact stone!" Lilia raged.
Rosette didn't speak.
She just stabbed the cookie image with a knitting needle.
[System Notification: System Suggestion – Maybe Consider Therapy?]
An Hour Later – A Plan is Born
They were all pacing now.
Lilia tapped her staff on the ground. "Assassination may be premature. She's too publicly liked. We need something subtle. Psychological. Ruin her reputation."
"Frame her for arson," Seraphina suggested. "Or give her a cursed uniform that slowly makes her flunk tests."
"Ooh," Yui said, "Or cast a charm that makes her accidentally flirt with everyone else. Rei will think she's a—"
"SLUT?" Drakana snarled.
Everyone nodded solemnly.
Rosette pulled out a vial. "I have something for that."
"…Of course you do."
Lilia raised both arms. "Then it is decided! Phase One: Undermine Her Image. Phase Two: Separate Her From Rei. Phase Three—Rosette?"
"Assassination."
"Yes, assassination."
They put their hands together. In unison:
"For Love, For Rei, For Homicidal Harmony!"
[System Notification: Mission Unlocked – "Protect Emilia From the Yandere Cabal"]
[Objective: Survive With At Least One Non-Traumatic Friendship Intact (0/1)]
[Reward: Unlocked Sanity Meter – Current Level: 17/100]
[Penalty for Failure: Public Strip Confession Duel, Possibly Involving Mud.]
The Next Day
Rei walked into class. He was exhausted.
He'd spent the entire night dodging shadows, checking his cookies for runes, and searching his room for spy runes (he found three, all labeled "Rosette ♥").
"Good morning, Rei!" Emilia beamed at him.
The sun seemed to shine brighter around her. Birds chirped.
Rei blinked. "Did… did you always have sparkles when you talk?"
"Oh! Sorry, that's just my family's passive light magic. It activates when I'm happy."
Rei sat down, expression frozen.
[System Notification: You Are Now Surrounded by Pure, Weaponized Wholesomeness.]
[Warning: Incoming Obsessive Glare Detected at 4 O'Clock.]
Slowly, Rei turned his head.
Outside the window—on a tree branch—sat Lilia, in full nun robes, holding binoculars and a holy water pistol.
She smiled and made a throat-slitting gesture.
Then blew him a kiss.
Rei screamed internally.
[System Notification: Emergency Activated – "Fated Wife Convergence"]
[Timer: 00:04:59 Until All Five Appear in Class Simultaneously]
[Run.]
To Be Continued…