The information from carion was so shocking, so we took a break and decided to pick things up another day after carion does some more research.
After escorting me back to the main building, theo suddenly ran off, I had no more plans for today, so I thought I would hang around theo.
I tried calling to him but he just excused himself and that was the last I saw of him.
"Greetings your grace" I spun around at the unfamiliar voice that called out.
"Sir shaw, greetings to you too. Are you on your way to the office to see his grace?"
"Yes your grace, also you don't need to be so formal with me, so please speak comfortably with me." Memories from our first meeting where I smacked theo flashed in my head and I felt embarrassed all over again.
"I'll try." He laughed, unlike sir Lucas who seemed to be uptight, his father had a more approachable air around him which made chatting with him very easy. He seemed so much like a friendly neighborhood grampa.
"Are you on your way to see his grace? He went out to the north border, canceling his plans for the whole day."
Why would he do that? I thought I was imagining it, but it seems he was quite shocked from the information from carion.
"Thank you sir shaw. I was on my way to see him, you just saved me the effort."
"Your grace, is the food not to your liking?"
I guess I spaced out again.
"No hannah it taste perfectly fine." I turned to the empty chair where theo would normally be. After he went for the random monster hunt, he hasn't come back even for dinner.
"How is the preparations for the banquet going?" Its best if the people in the castle not know that he is avoiding me. My only role here is to be the duchess and no one needs a duchess on bad terms with the duke. All their good treatment is because my relationship with theo looks very good for now. Once it's revealed that we are on bad terms... I'll be abandoned.
"Preparations are almost done your grace. The banquet hall is being renovated according to the directions you gave, and steven has already sent out the invitations today."
"Yes your grace, most of the nobles have sent replies accepting the invitation. It seems they were all curious to meet the duchess that has melted the dukes heart" he laughed enjoying the thought.
'Melted the dukes heart?' I guess we may look like that from the outside, but I know. I haven't melted his heart.... he doesn't love me.
"Your grace" her soft voice pulled me from my thoughts. I have been spacing out all day, I never knew theo would affect me so much.
"Sarah,when did you get here? And you look great in those pants."
"Thank you your grace, i knocked but there was no reply. Are you sure you are okay your grace?" She had that worried look on her face. It's one that I had seen allot in the past 18 years.
"I'm fine Sarah, you worry too much" I laughed softly.
"I heard you were given 5 days of rest, its been barely 2 days. You really can't get enough of me can you?" She laughed, closing the door behind her and getting to work tidying the room.
"Well you can try to get rid of me but I will never let you go, your grace"
I was feeling so conflicted just moments ago but having her here now just eases my mind.
"Thank you Sarah, I'm fine so you don't need to worry"
"Clarisa" i sit beside her on the bed as she sleeps. I stroke her face gently, she looks so small like she could break with the slightest touch. Finding out she had to go through so much excruciating pain tore at my heart.
'Why am I so bothered by you' i kissed her forehead and crawled into bed, wrapping her in my arms. She mumbled a bit before settling in and going back to sleep.
Before she came here, my life felt like a burden. I lived everyday trying to atone for my sins, I put my people in danger because of my ignorance and I had decided to spend everyday paying everyone back with my body. When I heard from mother that someone had accepted her proposal for my marriage, I felt she would be better off without me. But the moment I saw her golden hair shining brightly like the goddess of the sun, for the first time I found beauty in this world.
It was a beauty I didn't want to taint, so I decided to leave her alone. I felt she would be happier without my darkness dulling out her light, I knew she deserved better..... she deserved someone who shone just as bright.
"Mmmmmmm" her eyes blinked open slowly.
"I'm sorry dear, did I wake you up?" She snuggled closer to me, closing her eyes and falling asleep again.
I didn't want to admit it but I don't think I can live without her brightness in my life. Hearing that she could have died at the age of 6... scared me... even when I was bleeding from my mouth while my insides were on fire, I didn't feel that much fear.... the thought of losing her... the thought she wouldn't be by my side... it terrified me.....
I don't want to lose you too clarisa... for that may just be the death of me.
It's been 2 days since my evaluation with carion. Although things felt awkward as theo didn't come home that day, but by the next day we were back to our usual happy, loving self. He gave me access to the training arena, so I have added that to my free time after finishing my duties with Maria.
Whenever I see it, it always blows my mind away. Within the castle there is an in door garden, it looked like a huge flower in a glass case. The gardener Raymond takes care of the garden whenever the dowager duchess is away from the castle.
"I can see how warm of a person the dowager duchess is."
"Yes your grace, she is an extremely warm person."
"My love?" He was walking down the hallway, while in deep conversation with a lady beside him. I remember she was one of his ministers.
I walked silently behind them before grabbing him into a hug. He turned his head around and I gave him a big smile.
"My dear" he spun around and kissed my forehead. When I first met him I never would have thought he would be so carefree about public affections.
"I saw you from the garden, you seem busy. I just wanted to say hi"
"Greetings your grace, its a pleasure to meet you again."
"Lady mills, its a pleasure to meet you again." I tried pulling out of his embrace but he didn't let go as he stared into my eyes.
"Please call me evelyn your grace. I'm very grateful to you for giving us a break for lunch everyday." Her voice was so soothing, i felt so at peace listening to her speak.
"No need to thank me, I'm glad I was able to do something for you all" she wasn't a small lady, she was almost as tall as i was and I was about 170cm, I couldn't see under her clothes but from her frame she looked to be very muscular and I could see how toned her abs were.
"My dear, I'm going to the training center to see the knights of the duchy. Do you want to come with me?"
"I would love that, but wouldn't I be disrupting your time with them. I don't want to be a distraction"
"You arent a distraction dear, you would have met them in 2 days when my parents get back to the duchy. So it's best to introduce them to you now"
"Okay, if its fine then I would love to meet them."
"I'll take my leave first then you grace. I will give you a report on the state of the street lights before the end of the week."
"Thank you lady mills "
"Have a great day lady evelyn "
"Thank you, you too your grace" she bows and walks off.
"She seems nice"
"Well you need to see her at a construction site, even the big men cower when she speaks."
"Hahahahahaha I would love to see that"
"Hey guys I think his grace is coming this way "
"What? His grace? There is no way."
"No i think that is him, but who is that beside him?"
"Thats the duchess "
"Sir Henry, the duchess!"
"Thats right and you all better be on your best behavior. "
"Greetings your grace" they all arranged themselves in line and their voices echoed loudly.
"Its a pleasure to meet you all, I'm clarisa Leandros the duchess of runan. I hope to get to know you all better"
"You don't need to bother with them dear, you can just ignore them if you want to" I could feel a pair of atleast 50 eyes staring at me .
"You grace, you can't say that, and I would never ignore the knights of our duchy"
"You don't need to be so formal in front of them, just pretend like they don't exist my dear" I could hear them gasping and whispering amount themselves wondering what was wrong with theo.
"Thank you all for always taking care of the duchy. Runan is very lucky to have such talented knights" they screamed praises before theo chased them all off.
"My love, you need to be nicer to them."
"Those sweaty bunch? I'm always nice to them dear. I always take the time to personally oversee their daily training."
"Daily training? More like daily beatings, greetings your grace do you remember me" he grinned ear to ear. How could i forgot that innocent smile behind those naive eyes.
"Sir Gideon, its nice to see you again. Have you been well?"
"I would be better if his grace wasn't trying to kill us daily." I knew he was comfortable with his knights and people but it feels nice to see him interacting with them.
"It seems i have gone too easy on you all this time. I'll personally train you tomorrow you should be grateful gideon"
Gideon shuddered as his face looked crushed with fear. I couldn't help but burst out laughing and I could see that theo was smiling. The first time i saw his smile my heart skipped a beat and even right now my heart is pounding just looking at this beautiful man smile.
"His grace is smiling..... so his grace knows how to smile"
"I almost fainted the first time i saw it too lucas... you can't believe how shocked I was to see a statue crack and smile"
"You both must have so much time on your hands, pick up you swords now"
"Leave them alone theo, stop bullying your knights, greetings sir lucas its nice to see you again. "
"Its a pleasure to meet you again your grace, i hope you have been good. I heard about what sir cavill did, allow me to give you a sincere apology on his behalf, he tends to overreact whenever it has anything to do with his grace."
"It's fine, I'm glad his words didn't come from a place of hate"
"I'm sorry dear, I need to have a meeting with sir shaw."
"Its fine my love, I'll head back to the castle first " I could see the eyes pop out of Lucas, Gideon and the other knights within ear shot.
I wonder how theo used to be with them for them to be so surprised with his behavior.
"Sir Lucas please see to it that my wife gets back safely." He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. I heard more gasps as I realized we had company and my face turned red.
"Go, i'll see you when you get back my love."