Drake's POV
Davina suddenly started waking up at dawn to train. Even earlier than me.
When I arrived at the training grounds, I saw her lying on the grass, sweat dripping from her temples. The first light of the day bathed her face in a soft golden glow, like enchanted dust illuminating the curve of her nose, her lips, and the flutter of her lashes.
Davina was a beautiful woman. But beauty alone couldn't redeem her wretched personality.
I meant to mock her when I offered her my water flask. Didn't expect her to take it without hesitation.
The moment her lips closed around the mouth of the flask, an old memory surged back, the feeling of those same lips wrapped around me.
My heart jolted in my chest. I quickly looked away, pretending not to notice.
It wasn't just her habits that had changed. The way she acted… was different too.
She called me, then stared off into nothing. Like she was seeing something terrifying only she could see.
And when she snapped back, it was as if nothing had happened. I thought I knew Davina inside and out, but the one standing in front of me now… felt like a stranger behind a veil of fog, unreachable.
"I have the Empire's finest knight by my side, after all."
I couldn't tell if it was praise or sarcasm. But that deep-seated craving for recognition still responded to those words, my heart skipped out of rhythm.
"I never said I'd protect you." I murmured under my breath.
It had always been this way. Since that night she shattered my dream, I'd sworn I'd never lift a finger to shield her again.
I knew that went against the conscience and honor of a knight, but I had long since stopped being one.
Davina said she wanted to go to the slums to find someone. I assumed she was hunting for a new toy to play with. But instead, she looked for a scrawny, fragile little girl.
Had her tastes changed?
I couldn't help doubting her. People don't just change overnight.
And yet… the way she looked at that girl — gentle, empathetic — it made me freeze for a few seconds.
Why was she looking at someone like that?
What did a woman raised in silk and gold know about suffering?
I tried to dismiss the strange stirring in my chest, smothering it with a forced wave of anger.
But then she smiled. So soft, so heartbreakingly tender, I couldn't help but doubt myself.
"I want your loyalty. Can you give me that?"
If I gave her mine… would she look at me with that same gentle light?
I didn't know why that thought entered my mind. Maybe I was desperate. Desperate to be acknowledged.
"Can I borrow two hundred gold coins?"
She… was asking me for money?
"I'll pay you back. Tenfold, if you want."
She wasn't even embarrassed about it. She made a deal, like we were equals.
What the hell is going on with her?
The more I watched, the more I couldn't understand her.
Then her horse panicked and bolted. The people in the slums rushed at her like wolves, ready to tear apart the small figure collapsed in the dirt.
My heart dropped with her.
I rode in and pulled her up.
No fear. No hesitation. Her movements were swift, efficient, no wasted effort.
Was this really… the Davina I knew?
Her arms clutched tightly around my waist. Somehow, that embrace calmed my racing heart. I could feel her leaning on me.
She used to treat me like a servant. Now she leaned on me like a man.
What the hell was I feeling?
One moment she relied on me. The next, she stood firm, as if she didn't need anyone at all.
Her left arm was clearly injured, but she hid it, never cried out like she used to. Just gritted her teeth and carried the pain alone.
I'd done what I said I would, I didn't protect her.
And yet, it burned. Deep in my chest.
Was it guilt? Maybe.
I shoved the thought aside. Covered it with a logical excuse.
But that excuse came back to slap me in the face.
I stood guard outside her bedroom, as always, while she cavorted inside with another favorite. Same revolting sounds. Same memories I wanted buried deep in the coldest grave.
"Drake…"
But it wasn't moans I heard. It was a weak, fragile whisper. Like someone teetering on a cliff, clinging to the last thread of hope.
I thought I imagined it. So I listened closer.
I didn't realize my heart had been longing — aching — to hear my name from her lips again.
"Drak–!"
It was cut off. Like someone had stopped her.
I didn't hesitate.
I burst through the doors.
And saw it.
That bastard. On top of her. Forcing himself onto her.
Davina wasn't fighting. She couldn't.
Her eyes — desperate, pleading — reached for me.
For the first time ever… she looked at me like that, like I was her only hope.
Something in me snapped.
My mind went blank. Rage surged up, uncontrollable. I punched the bastard in the face.
Davina was trembling. Her dress had been torn down to her waist. Her limbs wouldn't move.
That image, it sliced through me like a dull blade. Slow and deep.
I couldn't bear it. I clenched my jaw and pulled the blanket over her.
I'd assumed she had called that man. She always did.
So I never asked. Never checked.
And for the first time in my life, I felt something I never wanted to feel.
Helpless. Defeated. Worthless.
I couldn't even protect my own master. What kind of warrior was I pretending to be?
Shameful.
The rage I'd cooled flared back to life, this time, aimed at myself.
I beat that bastard senseless. But the face I saw beneath my fist wasn't his.
It was mine.
I would've killed him, if Davina hadn't stopped me.
He'd been drugging her. For how long?
And I'd been right outside, completely unaware?
What the hell have I been doing for the past three years?
Still clinging to the fantasy of becoming some noble warrior?
I was a coward. A fraud.
I wasn't worthy of being a knight.
I wasn't worthy… of standing beside her.
Her eyes met mine afterward, cold, distant.
Like salt in an open wound.
She didn't trust me anymore.
And yet… she didn't dismiss me. Didn't send me away. Didn't scold me.
After that night, Davina changed again. She grew stronger. Sharper. Untouchable.
And more alone.
I know it's shameless to hope she'll forgive me.
But if she gave me just one more chance… I'd show her—
"You don't need to stay by my side anymore."
She dragged me out of the light and buried me in the mud.
And now she brushes me off like dust, no longer worthy to stand beside her shining self.
She's thrown me away.
***