the diary that he left behind was the last trace for me to find, who was the murderer ... Was fondness the way this has been led, or is there another plot to it, after years of nonstop searching of someone who contains my blood after so much betrayal a hope to find a family member ... all i found was a little trace of something i lost 7 years ago
DIARY:
"Crimson Valentine"From the mind of the psycho lover
They said love is sweet — a song in the chest,But mine was a fever, no room for rest.She smiled like dawn — I smiled back too,But my skies were storm, not baby blue.
She danced in dreams with others near,And in each laugh, I tasted fear.What if her eyes weren't only mine?What if her hand slipped out of line?
I bought her roses, thorns and all,She bled just once — she called it small.But I saw red and smelled the bloom,Of passion's rot inside my room.
"You're mine," I whispered. "You'll always be."She tried to run — but not from me.A kiss, a tear, a kitchen blade,And silence where her name once stayed.
It wasn't rage — not quite, not clear,Just love too loud for her to hear.I carved it deep beneath her skin:If I can't have her, no one wins.
Now she sleeps, so soft, so still,My trembling hands have had their fill.In madness, love became my art —Her final breath, my beating heart.
So judge me not — or do, or scream.I loved her far beyond the dream.But dreams decay, and minds unspool —And love, my friend, can make us cruel.
"The Quiet Room"Whispers from a fractured mind
She was light — and I was dusk,A quiet storm behind the musk.She called me "safe," she said "you're kind,"But never saw the cracks unwind.
I loved too loud, I loved too tight,She blinked — and I mistook it for flight.A laugh with him, a glance too long —And in my chest, it all felt wrong.
I tried to speak, to beg, to stay,But words, they always slipped away.So I watched, and waited, breath held thin —For signs she'd let another in.
"Don't go," I said. "Not yet. Not far."But love can bruise where no wounds are.A shattered cup. A broken vase.And silence swept across her face.
No blade, no blood — just hands that shook,A flash of fear I never tookAs anything but what I gave:A promise made beside the grave.
She's gone now — not by death,But by the weight behind my breath.They call it madness. Maybe true.But all I did... I did for two.
This padded room, these sleepless nights —Still echo with her phantom lights.And if love burns too deep, too wide —It leaves you hollow from inside.
"Overflow"
I loved her like the sunrise loves the dawn,Each morning fresh, a canvas drawn.Her laughter was my favorite song,A melody that made me strong.
Not madness — no, a gentle flame,That called her always by her name.I held her close through every storm,In her embrace, I found my warm.
Her smile, a light that never fades,In every glance, the sweetest shades.I loved her more than words can say,Too much? Maybe — but that's okay.
Because love is wild, and love is true,And every day I found something new:A softer touch, a deeper trust,A bond unbroken, built on us.
So here's my heart, forever hers,A love that never bends or blurs.Not madness, but a perfect art —Two souls united, one beating heart.
"Mine, Because I Am"
She's mine — not by chance, but by right,A trophy caught in my blinding light.Her world revolves around my throne,Because without me, she's alone.
I am the center, the shining sun,Around me, all her moments run.Her thoughts, her dreams, they bend and break —For in my gaze, her soul I take.
I love her — or so I claim,But love for me is power, not a flame.I guard her close, I shape her will,She breathes because I say she still.
No cracks allowed, no space to stray,She's mine in every word I say.Because I am the one who knows,The world's a stage, and I compose.
But don't mistake my grasp for care —I love her as a prize to wear.Possession wrapped in velvet lies,A cage disguised in sweetest ties.
"Still, I Choose You"
I saw the truth behind her eyes,A secret whispered in disguise.The night she smiled, but not for me,A shadow cast where light should be.
Betrayal carved into my chest,A hollow ache, a restless guest.Yet still, beneath the bitter sting,My heart refused to clip its wing.
For love is not a perfect flame,But weathered storms that bear a name.I loved her once — and love remains,Through shattered trust and tangled chains.
I choose to hold, to not let go,To find the roots beneath the blow.Forgiveness is a jagged art,But I still love her — all her parts.
Though pain will visit, haunt, and stay,I love her in a harder way.Not blind, not lost — but brave and true,Still flawed, still hers, and hers, still — I choose.
"Tangled in Poison"
I love her like a wildfire's rage,A twisted script on every page.I hold her close, then push away,I'm the storm that won't obey.
This love — it burns, it claws, it bites,A poison in the dead of nights.I hate the way I crave her still,A sickness born from iron will.
She's my mirror cracked and stained,Reflecting all my own disdain.I drag her down, I drag us both,Caught between hate and hollow oath.
I shout, I break, then beg for peace,But never find a sweet release.This love is toxic, sharp, and wild —A cruel embrace, defiled.
I hate the man who loves this way,But hate can't chase the heart away.So here I am, a twisted man,Loving her the only way I can.
Monster in the Mirror
I killed for love — or so they say,A twisted price I had to pay.Her name a ghost upon my breath,A curse that lingers after death.
The night was black, the air was cold,I held a secret dark and old.My hands, once clean, now stained with sin,The blood that bound me deep within.
She begged, she screamed — but silence fell,A final breath, a hollow knell.I did it all to save her soul,But found instead a shattered whole.
The law was close; the guilt was near,The faces blurred, the whispers clear.No friends remained to call my own,Just shadows in an empty home.
I drank the night and chased the pain,In every bottle, every vein.The drugs became my only friend,A spiral with no hopeful end.
My mind unspooled, a tangled maze,Lost in a self-inflicted haze.Monsters danced behind my eyes,Feeding on my fragile lies.
I'm hollow now, a broken man,The ghost of who I was began.No love, no light, just endless fight —A soul consumed by endless night.
The days are numb, the nights obscene,Where once was hope, now only mean.The mirror shows a stranger's face,A monster born from love's disgrace.
I claw at walls, I scream alone,A king dethroned, without a throne.No hand to hold, no whispered word,Just echoes of the lies I've heard.
The pills, the smoke, the poison fire,Each fills the void, each fuels desire.A desperate need to feel, to numb,To silence what I've become.
Her laughter haunts my hollow halls,A ghostly echo through these walls.I swore to guard her, keep her near,Yet lost her in this darkened sphere.
My heart once beat with fierce intent,Now broken down, discarded, spent.The blood I spilled, the price I paid,A monster born from love's charade.
The streets grow cold beneath my feet,Each stranger's glance a silent beat.I walk alone in shadowed grief,A soul that knows no sweet relief.
I curse the night that stole her breath,That birthed this endless dance with death.No prayers rise, no angels sing,Just madness cloaked in suffering.
I see her face in every flame,A vision burned, a whispered name.I reach for shadows, cold and thin,But only find the void within.
The poison flows, a crimson stream,Washing away each broken dream.Yet still, the pain refuses rest,A beating heart inside my chest.
They call me monster, call me mad,But I was once a man who hadA love so deep, it cracked my soul,And tore apart what made me whole.
I stare into that mirror glass,See what remains of broken past.No hope, no peace, just endless scars,A prisoner behind these bars.
The drugs may dull the roaring storm,But cannot change the shape I'm worn.A hollow shell, a haunted ghost,Loving her hurt me the most.
If love can kill and love can save,Then I am lost within the grave.No arms to hold me in the night,No gentle voice, no guiding light.
I'm monster now — and yet I weep,For promises I couldn't keep.A man who loved too hard, too fast,And found himself alone at last.
The silence screams inside my head,A chorus for the living dead.No mercy comes, no sweet reprieve,Just memories that never leave.
So here I stand, a broken frame,With only guilt to call my name.A shadow swallowed by the night,A soul consumed without the light.
If love was worth the price I paid,Then let me bear this grim crusade.For in this madness, dark and deep,Her memory's the one I keep.
The monster hides beneath my skin,A war I fight I cannot win.But still I love, in fractured ways,Through endless nights and hollow days.
I remember days before the fall,When love was simple, after all.Her hand in mine, the world so bright,No hint of this impending night.
We laughed beneath the summer sun,Our hearts so close, they beat as one.But shadows grew without a sound,A darker fate was creeping 'round.
A whisper, doubt, a jealous eye,The flicker of a bitter lie.I swore to guard her from the pain,But my own demons broke the chain.
The past returned with cruel claws,Reminding me of broken laws.I lost myself to rage and fear,And pulled her close — then disappeared.
No light can break this endless shade,No prayer can mend the price I paid.My soul is cracked, my mind betrayed,By love and hate that both have swayed.
The drugs — they promise fleeting peace,But only offer brief release.The nightmares crawl beneath my skin,A battle I will never win.
Sometimes I scream into the void,A sound that only madness buoyed.No friend to hear, no hand to hold,Just empty rooms, so dark and cold.
I see her face in every crowd,A whispered name, a distant sound.But when I reach, she slips away —A ghost that haunts my everyday.
I try to run from who I am,A broken, lonely, ruined man.But chains of guilt and love's cruel threadBind tight around my aching head.
I hate the man I've come to be,A monster lost beneath the sea.Yet through the rage, the hurt, the pain,Her memory flows in every vein.
If love can kill, then love can heal,Though shadows blur what's true, what's real.I'll wear this curse, this twisted crown,Until the final lights go down. .......
WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT !!