Word Count: 8,153
Series: Genshin Impact
Source: Genshin 4o (revised and transformed into an aesthetically narrative novel)
My 'What if' I given idea: Very fast delivery girl in teyvet
Original Characters: a girl with mecha legs, that's simply it.
The sun hung high over Mondstadt, casting soft rays across the bustling city. It was a seemingly normal afternoon until a high-pitched voice rang out from nowhere — light, cheerful, and quick.
"Special fast delivery! Here are your packages you ordered!"
Jean barely had a moment to blink before a massive box, larger than her torso, came hurtling through the air. With a heavy thud, it struck her square in the face, knocking her off balance. Papers from her desk scattered, and the Acting Grand Master found herself sprawled on the floor, momentarily stunned.
"What in the—?!" Jean gasped, pushing the heavy box off her. She blinked, trying to process what just happened. The label on the box confirmed it was hers — the organizing shelves she'd ordered to tidy up her ever-growing stacks of paperwork.
Before Jean could gather her thoughts, another shout echoed from the sky.
"Special fast delivery!"
Amber, who had been casually adjusting her gloves by the city gates, looked up just in time to see a box zooming toward her like a rogue hilichurl.
"Wait, what—?! Gah!"
It smacked her right in the face, sending her stumbling backward. She winced, rubbing her nose as the box clattered to the ground at her feet. Peering down, she noticed it was her order — a new bowstring and a wing glider repair kit.
"Oh great, just what I needed... but did it have to hit me?!" Amber muttered, still checking if her nose was bleeding.
The mysterious voice chimed once more, still unseen.
"Special fast delivery!"
Noelle, standing near the fountain with a basket of fresh flowers, didn't even have time to react. A gigantic box came barreling her way, knocking her clean off her feet and straight onto the cobblestone. The impact sent a few petals floating into the air as she struggled to sit up, dazed.
The box — almost too heavy to lift — contained her new full armor set and a sturdy claymore she'd ordered just this morning.
"O-oh... my order...?" Noelle whispered, blinking in surprise. She rubbed her forehead, already calculating how to clean up the mess while ignoring the throbbing pain.
Silence.
No figure appeared to apologize or explain. No sign of a courier or delivery person. The voice — so chirpy and energetic — had vanished as quickly as it came.
Jean stood, brushing herself off and straightening her now-crumpled uniform. "Who... exactly delivered these?" she muttered, narrowing her eyes at the sky, half-expecting another box to come flying down.
Amber, still poking at her nose, glanced around. "Did anyone see who that was? They were fast... too fast."
Noelle, still polite despite the chaos, carefully lifted her box. "Perhaps... it was someone from a new delivery service? Though... I didn't think they'd be this quick..."
The three exchanged puzzled looks. There was no trace of the voice or the mysterious courier. Only the sound of the wind dancing through Mondstadt remained.
"...Should we report this?" Amber finally asked.
Jean sighed, eyeing her tipped-over box. "Let's... after we make sure we're not about to be hit again."
Noelle nodded. "I'll clean up here first."
As they gathered their scattered items and dusted themselves off, the mysterious "special fast delivery" remained just that — a mystery.
The city of Mondstadt was still reeling from the earlier chaotic deliveries when the same energetic voice rang through the air once more, this time accompanied by the sound of hurried footsteps.
"Special fast delivery! Here is your package!"
Before Lisa, who had been leisurely sipping her afternoon tea at the library, could even react, a blur shot past the door. In the next second, six massive boxes came flying straight at her.
THUD! THUMP! CRASH!
The sheer force sent her sprawling onto the floor, her tea cup flipping midair before shattering beside her. Books and scrolls were knocked askew as the librarian groaned under the weight of her freshly arrived collection.
"My, my... What was that?" Lisa muttered, half-buried under the cardboard avalanche. With a soft sigh, she carefully adjusted her hat, dusted off her sleeves, and inspected the labels on the boxes. Sure enough, these were the books she had ordered last week.
Just as Lisa pushed herself up, the blur zipped through again.
"Sorry! In a hurry! Got a deadline today!" The voice was frantic, its source barely visible.
Before anyone could even register what was happening, Kaeya, who had just stepped into the library with his usual easy-going stride, was suddenly met with a smack! as a small box hit him directly in the face.
"Oof—!" He staggered slightly, catching the package just before it could drop. Rubbing his nose with an amused chuckle, he tilted his head as the blur rushed past him, carrying what looked like twenty—no, maybe thirty more boxes—stacked impossibly high on their shoulders.
In the blink of an eye, the mysterious courier had already vanished out of the building, disappearing into the streets of Mondstadt.
Kaeya turned the small box over in his hand. A wet stone, a new eyepatch, and... ah, a bottle of wine he had ordered a few days ago. He smirked, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Well, now," he mused, turning to Lisa, who was still seated on the floor, adjusting her gloves. "That was quite the delivery service, wasn't it?"
Lisa exhaled, brushing strands of hair from her face. "Hmm... quite the entrance," she murmured, glancing at the direction the blur had disappeared. "I do wonder who this mysterious courier is..."
Kaeya chuckled, tucking the small box under his arm. "Whoever they are, they really need to slow down before they start breaking noses." He tapped his own lightly for emphasis, still feeling the slight sting from the impact.
Lisa sighed, finally standing up and stretching. "Well, at least my books arrived safely... somewhat." She gave the chaotic mess around her a long, tired look before shaking her head. "I suppose I have some organizing to do."
Kaeya smirked, giving her a teasing glance. "Need a hand?"
Lisa waved him off with a lazy smile. "Oh, no need. But if you see that courier again, do remind them that books preferably shouldn't be delivered by force."
Kaeya chuckled once more, before casually strolling toward the exit. "Noted. Though, something tells me they'll be long gone before we even get the chance."
And indeed, the mysterious fast-delivery courier had already disappeared without a trace, leaving only confusion, sore faces, and an oddly efficient—if slightly painful—service in their wake.
The crisp wind of Mondstadt's outskirts whispered through the trees as Eula moved silently along a narrow trail, her gaze sharp and calculating. She was mid-reconnaissance, keeping an eye on some suspicious activity near the borders — though, as always, a few muttered remarks about vengeance escaped her lips between every careful step.
"They'll regret ever thinking they could sneak past me... Vengeance will be mine," she whispered, her hand resting lightly on the hilt of her sword.
All was quiet — the distant rustle of leaves, the soft chirping of birds — until a sudden, high-pitched voice shattered the calm.
"Special delivery! It's so hard to find you! Please put a damn note of your house next time!"
"What—?" Eula barely had time to react before a box came flying straight at her face.
THWACK!
The impact knocked her back a step, and the box tumbled to the ground at her feet. She blinked in stunned silence for a moment, her hair slightly disheveled, her usual composed demeanor now tinged with disbelief.
By the time she looked up, the source of the voice — a blur of movement — was already sprinting into the distance, carrying a heap of other boxes stacked so high they teetered with every step. The mysterious figure vanished over the hill, their footsteps fading just as quickly as they had arrived.
Eula's eye twitched. "Did they just—?"
She clenched her jaw, glaring at the box as if it had personally offended her. With a swift motion, she knelt down and examined the label. It was, in fact, addressed to her — a new set of tactical gear she had custom-ordered a few weeks ago.
Her fingers tapped impatiently on the side of the box. "So... not only do they attack me with my own package, but they dare accuse me of not marking my house clearly?" she muttered, her voice simmering with her signature mix of pride and irritation.
Eula straightened up, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, her mind already spinning. "I'll have my vengeance... one day..."
But for now, there was reconnaissance to finish — and a box to carry.
She cast one last glance in the direction the courier had run off, narrowing her eyes. "They're lucky I'm busy."
And with that, Eula hoisted the box under one arm and continued on her way, the promise of retribution lingering in the air behind her.
The sun was just beginning to rise over Mondstadt, casting a golden hue across the fields as Bennett adjusted the straps on his backpack, a wide grin plastered on his face.
"Alright, Fischl! Today's the day! I can feel it — this adventure is gonna be a lucky one!" he declared, his usual optimism shining through despite his, well... track record.
Fischl, standing a few steps away, flicked her hair dramatically, her one visible eye gleaming with that familiar flair. "Indeed, fate's ever-turning wheel has aligned with the constellations above! The Prinzessin der Verurteilung shall uncover the secrets of this realm, guided by the unwavering loyalty of mine familiar, Oz."
Oz flapped his wings beside her. "What she means is, let's hope nothing goes wrong like last time," the raven muttered, earning a quick, indignant huff from Fischl.
Just as Bennett opened his mouth to respond, a sudden voice — high-pitched and hurried — broke through the peaceful morning air.
"Special fast delivery! Incoming packages!"
Before either of them could react, a blur shot past them like a gust of wind.
"Wha—?!" Bennett barely managed to blink before a small box flew straight into his face. THWACK!
He stumbled back, arms flailing, but miraculously kept his balance — a rare win against his usual bad luck. "Ow! What the—" He caught the box as it bounced off him, quickly realizing it was... a first aid kit? The very one he'd ordered just this morning.
He blinked in surprise. "Huh... that was fast."
But there was no time to process because, just as suddenly —
"Verily! What sorcery is this?!" Fischl cried out dramatically as a medium-sized box sailed toward her, hitting her lightly in the arm before dropping to the ground with a soft thud.
She gasped, clutching her arm as if she'd been struck by a mystical force, though she was perfectly fine. "A sudden assault upon the Prinzessin der Verurteilung! Is this the work of an unseen foe, or a test from the celestial heavens?!"
Oz, ever unbothered, landed beside the box and tilted his head. "It's just your order, mein Fräulein — the book you wanted and some bird food for me."
Fischl quickly gathered herself, clearing her throat and brushing nonexistent dust from her cloak. "Ahem... Of course! A gift from the cosmos, no doubt." She picked up the package with a flourish, as if the simple delivery was part of some grand prophecy.
Bennett, still rubbing his nose, squinted into the distance where the blur had vanished. "Did you see who that was? They were crazy fast... and loud."
Fischl gave a solemn nod. "Perhaps a messenger of fate, bound by time's relentless march."
Oz let out a long-suffering sigh. "Or just a very busy courier."
Bennett laughed, shaking his head. "Well, whoever they are, they sure know how to deliver in a hurry."
He stuffed the first aid kit into his pack — secretly grateful for the good timing — and turned back to Fischl. "Alright! Ready for the adventure now?"
Fischl, holding her package like it was a sacred relic, gave a dramatic wave of her hand. "Indeed! Let the journey commence, for the stars themselves bear witness to our quest!"
With a smile, Bennett took the lead down the path, his usual streak of misfortune momentarily put on hold by an unexpectedly speedy — and slightly hazardous — delivery service.
It was a quiet afternoon in Mondstadt, the wind gently rustling through the trees and the faint hum of Barbara's soft singing floating through the air. She stood by the fountain in the city square, humming a new melody while scribbling down a few notes in an old, slightly worn notebook.
"Hmm... maybe a higher pitch here... oh! And a softer verse there..." she muttered to herself, tapping the end of her quill against her chin.
Just as she was about to try out a new line of lyrics, a sudden voice pierced through the calm.
"Special fast delivery! Here's your package! Seriously, at least give an address! It's hard to find you!"
Before Barbara could even process the words, a blur shot past her — and in an instant, a large box came flying straight at her.
"Wha—?!"
THUMP!
The impact wasn't strong enough to knock her over, but it was enough to send her stumbling a step back, arms flailing to catch the box before it hit the ground. Her heart raced as she blinked in shock, staring down at the package in her arms.
"W-what just happened...?" she mumbled, wide-eyed.
A quick glance at the label told her it was hers — the chili juice she'd ordered earlier this morning and a brand new notebook for her growing list of song ideas.
"That was... really fast," Barbara whispered, still trying to calm her racing heart.
But before she could even put the box down, the blur zipped past again — this time heading straight for Rosaria, who had been leaning lazily against a nearby wall, arms crossed, half-listening to Barbara's humming.
"Special fast delivery!"
WHACK!
A medium-sized box struck Rosaria directly in the face. It hit with a dull thud, knocking her hood back slightly. The sister of the Church of Favonius didn't flinch — her head tilted slightly from the impact, but her expression remained as unbothered as ever.
The box bounced off her shoulder and landed by her feet.
Silence.
Barbara gasped, rushing over. "Sister Rosaria! Are you okay?!"
Rosaria blinked slowly, adjusting her hood and giving the package a sideways glance. "...I've been hit by worse."
She crouched down, examining the box with a mild sigh. "Let me guess... this is yours too?"
Barbara knelt beside her, reading the label. "Oh! Um... yes, actually... I ordered some clothes for you... for the choir's next performance."
Rosaria arched an eyebrow. "Clothes...? For me?"
Barbara gave a nervous laugh. "W-well... I thought maybe something a bit more... formal... might help us match during the event."
Rosaria stared at the box, then at Barbara, then back at the box. "If you think I'm wearing something frilly, we're going to have a long conversation."
Barbara waved her hands quickly. "No, no! I made sure it wasn't too... um... flamboyant. Just something simple. Elegant!"
Rosaria exhaled through her nose, shaking her head with a faint smirk. "You're lucky I'm too tired to argue."
Barbara stood up, still clutching her own package, her mind still reeling from the chaotic delivery. "Who was that, anyway? They were so fast..."
Rosaria dusted off her shoulder. "No clue. But they need to work on their aim."
The two stood there for a moment, staring off in the direction the blur had disappeared, the sound of distant footsteps already long gone.
Barbara, ever the optimist, smiled softly. "Well... at least everything arrived safely."
Rosaria, less impressed, crossed her arms again. "Barely."
And with that, they both gathered their packages — Barbara already thinking of new songs, and Rosaria silently wondering just how "formal" these new choir clothes really were.
It was a quiet evening at Dawn Winery, the sky painted with hues of deep orange and violet as the sun slowly dipped below the horizon. The air was crisp, and the gentle rustling of the vineyard's leaves was the only sound accompanying the soft clink of glass as Diluc meticulously organized the bottles on the shelves of his cellar.
He worked in silence, his usual stoic expression unchanging — calm, composed, every movement precise. The order of new wine bottles was expected later this evening, but he figured he had time to prepare the storage room.
Then, suddenly—
BANG!
The front door to the mansion slammed open, kicked so hard that it nearly flew off its hinges. The echo of the impact thundered through the hall.
A high-pitched, breathless voice followed.
"Here's your order! Thank you for using Special Fast Delivery!"
Diluc's head snapped up, his crimson eyes narrowing — but before he could react, a massive crate-sized box came hurtling through the doorway.
WHOOOSH— CRASH!
The box narrowly missed him, smashing into the wall behind with a force so strong it left a visible dent in the stone. Before he could even step back, another one followed.
Then another.
And another.
Ten enormous boxes — all clearly labeled "New Empty Bottles for Wine" — came flying one after another, some slamming into the walls, others stacking haphazardly atop each other. The last few hit with such force they left small craters in the stone, cracks splintering out like spiderwebs.
Diluc stood frozen for a moment, his usually calm composure slipping just enough to show a flicker of disbelief. His hand was still halfway to a bottle on the shelf, as if the entire scene had happened faster than his brain could process.
"...What the—"
Before he could finish his sentence, the voice rang out again — still rushed, still completely unbothered by the destruction.
"Sorry! Just tell me where to put them next time!"
A blur darted through the room — impossibly fast, a streak of movement carrying what looked like forty, maybe fifty other packages stacked precariously on their back.
Diluc barely had time to follow the motion before the figure was already out the door, vanishing into the distance as if the wind itself had carried them away.
Silence.
The only sounds left were the faint creaking of the door, still slightly ajar from the violent entrance, and the soft clinking of glass from the bottles inside the boxes.
Diluc exhaled slowly through his nose, his jaw tightening ever so slightly. He surveyed the damage — the dented walls, the cracked stone, and the towering stack of haphazardly thrown crates.
"...I ordered these twenty minutes ago."
A long pause.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, his signature calm returning — though now tinged with a simmering, quiet irritation. "Special fast delivery," he muttered to himself. "A little too fast."
After a moment, he stepped toward the mess, rolling back his sleeves. With a quiet sigh, he began carefully shifting the massive boxes, already calculating how long it would take to fix the wall and reorganize his storage.
But as he worked, his mind kept circling back to one question — who was that, and why did they seem to think "delivery" meant demolition?
One thing was certain: next time, he was absolutely putting a note on the order... and locking the door.
It was a quiet evening by the lake near Mona's small, humble house — or rather, her "modest astrologer's abode" as she preferred to call it. The stars were beginning to twinkle, and the soft ripples of water reflected the night sky like a mirror.
Mona stood outside, arms crossed, staring up at the heavens with a furrowed brow. She was deep in thought, calculating the alignment of the stars, muttering about constellations and fate under her breath.
"Hmm... if Jupiter moves into this quadrant... No, no, that can't be right... Perhaps Mercury's influence—"
Her train of thought was violently interrupted by the sudden, echoing shout of a frantic voice.
"SPECIAAAAAAL FAAAAAST DELIVERYYYY!"
Before Mona could even turn her head, there was a blur — a figure moving so fast it seemed to fly across the rooftops, darting and leaping with incredible speed. The shout grew louder as the blur came closer.
"And please pay next time! Our service will not allow hanging debts! And put a note where to put them! It's hard to find the buyers like this!"
"Wha—?" Mona barely had time to react.
BOOM—CRASH—THUD—
In an instant, a massive pile of packages — seventy of them, at least — came raining down from above, crashing into her yard and creating a chaotic heap of cardboard and paper. Dust puffed into the air from the sheer impact, and the sound of boxes toppling over echoed through the otherwise peaceful night.
Mona stumbled back, wide-eyed, staring at the absolute mountain of deliveries that had just landed right in front of her tiny home.
"W-what... in the stars' name...?" she whispered in disbelief.
The blur didn't stop — the figure had already leapt from roof to roof again, still carrying what looked like dozens of other packages. Within seconds, the mysterious courier was nothing but a distant shadow against the night sky, disappearing into the horizon.
Silence fell again, broken only by the soft rustle of the wind... and the sound of one of the smaller boxes slowly sliding off the top of the pile, landing at Mona's feet with a quiet thud.
She blinked, still trying to process what had just happened. Then, with a shaky hand, she picked up one of the packages and squinted at the label.
Astrology scrolls. Rare star charts. Celestial ink. Constellation reference books. Alchemy ingredients for "future prophetic experiments." All things she had ordered a mere forty minutes ago.
Mona's eye twitched.
"They... they actually delivered all of it..."
Her mind raced — on one hand, this was impressive. Lightning-speed delivery, everything she asked for... But on the other hand—
Her gaze slowly drifted back to the towering pile of boxes, some half-crushed from the way they'd been thrown, and the absolute mess now blocking her front door.
And then there was that parting shout.
"Pay next time...?"
Mona's face flushed a deep red, a mix of embarrassment and outrage swirling inside her. "I told them the Mora was coming! It's just... delayed!"
She clenched her fists, half-tempted to chase after the courier — though given the speed they moved, that was a lost cause. Instead, she let out a long, dramatic sigh, throwing her head back.
"Oh, the cruel hand of fate strikes me yet again... Not only must I bear the burden of cosmic knowledge, but now I am hounded by impatient delivery services as well!"
Another box slid off the pile, flopping onto the grass.
Mona groaned. "...And now I have to clean all this up."
She reluctantly started pulling the boxes into a somewhat manageable stack, muttering about "the injustice of monetary constraints" and "the curse of being too brilliant yet too broke."
Still... despite the chaotic arrival, a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she spotted a rare, shimmering astrological chart poking out of one of the packages.
"At least the stars have graced me with this..."
And with that, Mona continued stacking the boxes — already drafting an angry letter in her head about how the Special Fast Delivery Service should handle future transactions with "proper regard for an astrologer's schedule"... and maybe a bit more care for where they threw her packages.
Few days later...
The wind howled through Dragonspine, a freezing gust cutting through the air like a blade. Snowflakes danced violently, swirling around the jagged rocks and ancient ruins. Despite the brutal cold, a small alchemy camp stood steadfast amidst the elements — a sturdy tent, a makeshift table covered in beakers and strange powders, and a few notes pinned down by icy rocks to keep them from flying away.
Albedo, calm and composed as ever, gently stirred a vial of glowing blue liquid, the soft light casting a serene glow against the snow. His golden eyes carefully observed the reaction as Sucrose, bundled tightly in layers of winter clothing, scribbled furiously into her notebook.
"Master Albedo," Sucrose muttered, her breath visible in the cold, "if we adjust the elemental balance just slightly—"
Her words were cut off by a distant sound — faint at first, but growing louder by the second.
A voice — high-pitched, fast, and clearly frustrated — echoed through the mountains.
"Special fast delivery service!"
Both Albedo and Sucrose blinked, their experiments momentarily forgotten as they exchanged a puzzled glance.
Before they could react —
BOOM.
A massive crate crashed into the snow a few feet away, sending a spray of ice and frost into the air. The ground trembled slightly from the impact, a shallow crater forming beneath the weight of the box.
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
One after another, more crates — no, hundreds of them — rained down like a meteor shower. Each impact left a crater, shaking the ground and sending shockwaves through the thin layer of snow, but miraculously, none of the boxes seemed damaged.
Albedo took a calm step back, his cloak rippling in the cold wind, while Sucrose let out a startled squeak, clutching her notebook like a shield.
And then — as quickly as the chaos began — a blur shot past them, weaving between the falling crates like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Please send a damn note next time! I don't know where to put them! And it's freezing here! Who in the hell lives here?!"
The blur — too fast to make out clearly — zipped from one side of the camp to the other, carrying what must have been dozens of other boxes stacked so high it defied all laws of physics.
Albedo's gaze followed the figure's path calmly, as if studying a rare specimen.
And then — just like that — the courier leapt into the air, parkouring off a jagged rock, vaulting over a tree branch, and disappearing into the distance, their voice still grumbling faintly against the howling wind.
Silence.
Only the soft crunch of snow beneath their boots and the distant echo of the last falling crate remained.
Sucrose, still wide-eyed, finally managed to speak. "M-Master Albedo... w-what just...?"
Albedo knelt beside one of the massive crates, brushing off the thin layer of frost and reading the label. "Alchemy tools... notebooks... quills and ink... spare winter clothing... and food supplies. All in perfect condition." He examined the reinforced metal boxes lined with cushions inside. "The packaging was... surprisingly well thought out."
Sucrose peeked into one of the crates, noticing a neatly packed bundle of hot meals still warm to the touch, steam escaping as she lifted the lid. "These... these were ordered only an hour ago..."
Albedo's lips curled into the faintest of smiles — a rare, subtle expression of intrigue. "Efficient."
Sucrose, still processing the meteor-like delivery, fidgeted with her scarf. "But... who was that?"
Albedo straightened, his golden eyes gazing into the direction the blur had vanished. "A courier, evidently... one with remarkable speed."
He placed a hand thoughtfully on his chin. "The force behind their deliveries... seems excessive. But effective."
Sucrose's mind spun. "I-I think they were... angry?"
A soft chuckle — almost inaudible — escaped Albedo. "Understandable. Not many would willingly navigate Dragonspine's harsh climate for a simple delivery."
Sucrose hugged her notebook to her chest, still shivering slightly. "We... should probably add a note to future orders... with better directions."
Albedo nodded, already pulling one of the crates toward their alchemy station with ease. "A reasonable conclusion."
As they worked to unpack the mountain of supplies — winter clothes, warm meals, delicate alchemy tools — Sucrose couldn't help but glance toward the distant peaks, wondering if they'd ever see that blur again.
And somewhere, far off in the snowy distance, the sound of hurried footsteps and an exasperated voice echoed faintly into the night:
"Why does anyone live up here?!"
Back in monstadt.
The sun hung low over Mondstadt, casting long golden rays across the cobbled streets. The city was lively but peaceful — the kind of ordinary day where even the bustling sounds of merchants and children playing seemed softer than usual.
Jean stood by the fountain, a rare moment of calm as she went over some paperwork, while Kaeya leaned lazily against a wall nearby, twirling a small dagger between his fingers. Lisa sat on a bench, flipping through a newly acquired book, and Amber adjusted the strings of her bow, deep in thought. Noelle, ever diligent, was polishing a set of armor near the Knights of Favonius headquarters.
Barbara hummed softly as she scribbled down another lyric in her new notebook, still feeling the aftermath of the chaotic delivery from earlier. She'd only just recovered from that.
Then—
"Special fast delivery service!"
The now all-too-familiar voice rang out — high-pitched, breathless, and clearly in a hurry.
Heads turned, but before anyone could react—
THWACK!
A massive box smacked straight into Noelle's face again, sending her stumbling back slightly, though she recovered quickly — catching the box before it could hit the ground. Her hands shook slightly from the weight. Another order of full armor parts and blacksmith tools.
"Wha—? Again?!" Noelle gasped, her voice a mix of shock and resigned acceptance.
THUNK!
Amber yelped as another box flew at her, this time hitting her squarely in the chest. She staggered back, clutching the package — a new bowstring, another wing glider repair kit, and a small bag of assorted snacks she'd added to the order last minute.
"Seriously?! At least warn me next time!" she huffed, brushing stray hair from her face.
WHAM!
A box smacked Eula on the shoulder as she was just walking past, sending a small puff of dust into the air. Her sword hand twitched — just a little — and her icy gaze followed the blur zipping through the streets.
"Vengeance... will be swift," she muttered, though there was no one to hear her threat.
The blur didn't stop — in fact, it was moving faster now.
THUD!
Another large box flew directly at Jean, who barely managed to sidestep it, though the corner still grazed her arm. She caught it with a sigh, quickly recognizing the organizing shelves she'd ordered to declutter her already too tidy office.
She pressed her lips into a thin line. "Again?" she muttered under her breath, more exasperated than angry.
Kaeya's lazy smirk faltered slightly as his small box — a new wet stone, an eye patch, and another bottle of wine — was tossed straight at his head. He caught it mid-air, smooth as ever, but a single eyebrow twitched.
"Ah," he said lightly, "so this is becoming a habit."
And Lisa — poor Lisa — didn't even have time to blink before another six large boxes, undoubtedly more books, slammed into her lap, burying her in an avalanche of reading material.
A delicate hand slowly poked out from the pile, wiggling slightly. "Oh my... we really must have a word about their aim," she purred, her voice calm despite the mess.
And just when Barbara thought she was safe—
WHUMP!
A large box — filled with another batch of freshly ordered chili juice, new sheet music, and an extra set of choir robes — landed right in her arms. She staggered, barely able to hold on.
"Not again!" she squeaked, struggling under the weight.
The blur didn't stop. It zipped past them all, leaping from crates to rooftops like a whirlwind, still carrying what seemed to be dozens of other packages.
"Thank you for using our service!" the courier shouted as they sprinted into the distance. "Please leave a review!"
And then, as fast as they had come — they were gone.
Silence.
Everyone just stood there — surrounded by boxes, some still wobbling slightly from the impact. The wind gently tugged at Jean's cape, and a single page of Barbara's sheet music fluttered to the ground.
Amber broke the silence first. "Did they... did they seriously just ask for a review?"
Kaeya chuckled softly. "Efficient and bold. I like them."
Jean rubbed her temple. "I'm going to need another organizing shelf for all these organizing shelves."
Eula, arms crossed, stared off into the distance. "When I find out who they are... there will be retribution."
Barbara simply groaned. "I just finished putting away the last order..."
Noelle adjusted her armor and picked up her new tools. "I... guess I should be grateful everything arrived safely?"
Lisa, still half-buried in books, gave a soft sigh. "At least they deliver... quickly."
Another box slid off Lisa's pile, landing on the ground with a soft thump.
Jean shook her head, already mentally composing a letter to the "Special Fast Delivery Service" about proper package handling procedures.
Somewhere, in the far-off distance, a faint voice echoed one last time:
"Leave a review!"
It was another quiet evening at Dawn Winery. The sun dipped low over the vineyards, casting long shadows across the fields. A gentle breeze rustled the grapevines, and the distant chirping of birds was the only sound that broke the silence.
Diluc sat at his desk, a glass of aged wine in hand, reviewing the latest sales records. The crackling fireplace beside him offered a comforting warmth, though his expression remained as calm and stoic as ever.
For once, there was no trouble — no Fatui spies, no hilichurls, no interruptions. Just a peaceful evening.
And then—
BOOOOOM!
The ground trembled. A deafening crash echoed across the vineyard, sending a flock of birds into the sky.
Diluc's hand froze, the wine in his glass rippling from the force of the impact. His crimson eyes flicked toward the door — or rather, the crater now forming just outside his mansion's entrance.
Before he could rise from his chair, there was a rapid knock — though "knock" was putting it lightly. It sounded more like someone punching the door in a rush.
And then, that familiar voice — high-pitched, breathless, and much too fast:
"Special fast delivery service! And thanks for the note!"
The words tumbled out all at once, and before Diluc could open the door, the voice was already fading into the distance.
He moved to the entrance, his cloak flowing behind him, and opened the door — only to be greeted by the sight of ten massive reinforced crates, neatly stacked but still smoking slightly from their impact with the ground.
A small crater had formed right in the center of his courtyard, the force of the delivery clearly excessive — again. The boxes, however, were unharmed, reinforced with metal corners and lined with thick cushioning inside.
He stepped forward, brushing a hand over the nearest crate, his sharp eyes catching the label:
"New empty bottles — premium glass. For wine production."
Another crate: "Rare corks and sealing wax — limited edition."
And another: "Custom-designed labels for Dawn Winery's new vintage."
Diluc's jaw tensed ever so slightly, though not in anger — more in restrained disbelief. He had placed the order a mere twenty minutes ago.
He let out a quiet sigh, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out the small note he had attached to the order form earlier:
"Please place deliveries at the front entrance. Handle with care."
Apparently, "handle with care" meant launching them with the force of a meteor.
The sound of distant footsteps echoed once more — the courier's blur darting away, already moving at impossible speeds.
"So fast..." Diluc muttered under his breath, tucking the note back into his pocket.
For a long moment, he simply stood there — watching the trail of dust left by the courier slowly settle in the evening air.
Adelinde peeked out from the doorway, her calm demeanor betraying just a hint of concern. "Master Diluc... shall I have the crates moved to the storage room?"
Diluc gave a slow nod. "Yes. Thank you."
As the winery staff hurried to lift the reinforced crates, Diluc lingered for a moment longer, his thoughts trailing to the absurd speed — and force — of this so-called Special Fast Delivery Service.
He shook his head, turning back inside. "At least they followed the note this time."
And somewhere, far off in the distance, that same voice rang out faintly once more:
"Leave a review!"
The bustling streets of Liyue Harbor were alive with the usual harmony of clinking coins, merchants advertising their wares, and the faint scent of grilled fish and sweet flowers drifting through the air. Lanterns swayed gently in the sea breeze, casting a warm glow on the cobbled pathways.
Everything was as it should be — orderly, steady, predictable.
That is, until a sudden blur of motion zipped past the stalls, so fast it left a gust of wind in its wake. Several vendors' banners fluttered violently, a stack of scrolls tumbled off a nearby cart, and one unlucky merchant nearly dropped his freshly brewed tea.
And just like that — it was gone.
In its place, slapped haphazardly onto the main notice board in the heart of the harbor, was a single sheet of paper, slightly crooked and flapping in the wind.
Bold, hurried handwriting sprawled across the page:
"Special Fast Delivery Service Branch — Coming Soon in 2 Days!"
Beneath the rushed announcement was a chaotic collection of scribbled reviews — clearly gathered from Mondstadt, judging by the names attached.
"My order arrived in 20 minutes... but so did the delivery person... through my window." — Jean
"Super fast! Though I wish they'd aim a little better. My bowstring was fine... my face, not so much." — Amber
"Impressive speed. If only they'd stay still long enough to take responsibility for the craters." — Diluc
"Extraordinary efficiency! The reinforced packaging is a work of art." — Albedo
"Vengeance will be swift... just like their deliveries." — Eula
"If I could read my book without being buried under the delivery, I'd give a higher score." — Lisa
"I ordered chili juice and got it in 30 minutes. However, I am requesting a gentler... approach." — Barbara
"Thank you for the new eyepatch and wine... next time, less to the face, more to my hands." — Kaeya
"Please. I beg you. Just tell me when you're coming." — Noelle
At the very bottom, in even messier handwriting, was a final note:
"20-minute to 1-hour guaranteed delivery! (We are not responsible for any property damage, surprise attacks, or emotional distress caused by sudden package arrivals. Please leave a review!)"
A small crowd had already gathered around the board.
"What... is this?" muttered one merchant, adjusting his hat.
"Fast deliveries? That sounds useful... but, uh... craters?" a fisherman asked, squinting at Diluc's review.
One of the Millelith stepped forward, frowning. "Are they licensed to operate here?"
Before anyone could react further, a faint voice echoed from somewhere high above — on the rooftops, perhaps — though no one could quite place where it came from:
"Thank you for your support! See you in two days!"
And then... silence.
The crowd just stood there for a moment longer, processing the whirlwind of chaos they had just witnessed — and the chaos yet to come. Liyue was about to get a whole lot faster... whether it was ready or not.
The afternoon sun bathed Liyue Harbor in a soft golden hue, the sea shimmering in the distance. People milled about the busy streets — merchants arranging their wares, travelers bartering for trinkets, and fishermen returning with the day's catch. The usual hum of Liyue's daily life.
And yet... the notice board had a small crowd gathered around it, all staring at the hastily slapped-on paper announcing the arrival of the Special Fast Delivery Service Branch.
It didn't take long for a few familiar faces to pass by.
Keqing was the first. She walked briskly, as always, a stack of neatly arranged documents in one hand and her sword strapped to her back. The crowd's murmurs caught her attention, and she stopped, scanning the board with narrowed eyes.
"Special... fast delivery service?" she muttered, reading the chaotic scrawl. Her gaze flicked over the list of reviews — craters, broken windows, and surprise package attacks.
Her brow twitched. "Unlicensed businesses operating in Liyue? I need to look into this."
She turned sharply on her heel, muttering something about regulations and property damage as she disappeared back into Yujing Terrace.
Moments later, Childe strolled by, hands in his pockets, a lazy smirk already plastered on his face. He tilted his head as he read the board, his blue eyes gleaming with amusement.
"Twenty-minute deliveries? Craters? Surprise attacks?" He chuckled softly. "Sounds like my kind of service."
He tapped the note with a finger, grinning wider at Kaeya's review. "I wonder if they'd deliver directly to the Fatui's base... that'd be a fun surprise." He laughed to himself before moving along, clearly entertained.
Not long after, Ganyu approached, carrying a small bundle of scrolls. She paused, curious about the small crowd, and carefully read the board. Her expression shifted from curiosity... to concern. "Property damage... emotional distress...?" she murmured softly.
She touched her chin, thinking deeply. "I hope they have the proper permits... and cushioning for fragile items..."
Her anxiety grew with each review. "I... I should bring this to the Qixing's attention."
Her tail swayed nervously as she hurried off, no doubt already composing a report in her head.
Then came Xiao, silent as a shadow. He wasn't one for idle curiosity, but something about the strange tension in the air made him glance at the board.
He scanned the paper quickly — too quickly, really — before his gaze settled on a particular line: "We are not responsible for surprise attacks."
His jaw tightened. "Hmph. Another disturbance." Without another word, he vanished in a flash of teal light, already deciding to keep an eye on this "special" delivery service... from a distance.
Yanfei passed by next, munching on a steaming bun, clearly on a break from her legal work. The moment her sharp eyes caught the disorganized writing and the bold "not responsible for property damage" disclaimer, her eyebrows shot up.
"Oh, this is definitely a liability issue," she muttered, leaning closer to examine every word.
She squinted at Jean's and Diluc's reviews, then tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I'm gonna need to draft a new section of Liyue's commerce regulations..."
She whipped out a small notebook from her sleeve and began jotting things down right there in the street.
Finally, Zhongli strolled past, his calm and composed demeanor undisturbed by the commotion. He stopped briefly, reading the notice with a faint furrow in his brow.
"Such speed... but at what cost?" he murmured softly.
He took a moment to examine the handwriting, the haphazardly posted paper, and the list of "reviews" that teetered between awe and concern.
After a quiet sigh, he turned away, his thoughts already drifting to how this might affect Liyue's economy — or its architecture — should craters become a regular feature of delivery services.
The crowd slowly began to disperse, but the board remained — bold, chaotic, and promising both convenience and unpredictable speed.
Liyue was bracing for something fast — and maybe a little dangerous — in just two days.
The bustling streets of Liyue Harbor were a sharp contrast to the quiet, more reserved pace of Inazuma, but the paper on the board drew the attention of a few familiar figures nonetheless. The announcement of the Special Fast Delivery Service was certainly unusual, and it didn't take long for some of Inazuma's finest to catch sight of it.
First, it was Beidou, captain of the Crux Fleet, strolling down the street with a proud grin on her face. She was in high spirits, chatting with her crew as they unloaded a ship nearby. Her sharp eyes flicked to the notice on the board, the bold lettering catching her attention.
She let out a chuckle as she read the message. "Special fast delivery service, huh?" She paused, noticing the reviews and the chaotic mix of compliments and complaints.
"Well, I do like the sound of a fast delivery service, but... these people sure don't look happy about it." She shrugged, her confident grin widening as she continued reading. "Still, sounds like they're getting things done. Maybe I'll give them a try sometime. I'd love to see how they handle a real delivery."
She slapped a hand on one of her crew members' shoulders, still laughing. "I'm going to have to take a look at their 'service' next time I'm in Mondstadt."
With that, Beidou turned away, her boisterous laughter echoing down the street as she continued on her way.
Kazuha was next, a soft breeze tugging at his hair as he walked past the notice board. His ever-present calm demeanor remained unchanged, though the sight of the chaotic notice caught his eye.
"Hmmm, Special Fast Delivery Service?" Kazuha mused aloud, reading the hastily written words and reviews with interest. He let out a soft chuckle at the mention of "property damage." "A very creative way of handling deliveries, it seems. I wonder if they have any poets among their staff?"
He scanned the chaotic feedback, including the mention of craters, surprise attacks, and property destruction. His fingers lightly tapped the hilt of his sword as he grinned. "This may be the kind of service where you have to expect the unexpected."
His eyes twinkled with curiosity. "I might have to see it for myself — though I'd prefer if they didn't deliver directly to me."
With a soft whistle, he walked away, his gaze still lingering on the paper as the wind carried him on to his next adventure.
Raiden Ei was the next to stroll by, her regal presence unmistakable even from a distance. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she noticed the chaotic paper hanging on the board, the bold declaration of the "Special Fast Delivery Service" catching her attention.
She studied it with a mixture of intrigue and concern, reading the reviews with a sharp eye. The mention of property damage and surprise attacks certainly piqued her interest.
"Hmm... a delivery service that operates like a tempest," she mused softly, her voice calm and measured as always. "They certainly take their concept of 'speed' to another level."
Her hand tightened slightly around the polearm she carried, her thoughts briefly wandering to how such a service might be received in Inazuma. Would the people there tolerate such disruptions?
"As much as I value efficiency, this service seems... reckless." She furrowed her brow slightly, as if already thinking of ways to ensure Liyue's regulations were upheld in her own land.
Turning away, she gave one last glance at the paper before continuing on her way, her steps purposeful, but the hint of a thoughtful frown still on her face.
And then there was Shinobu, walking past with her usual quiet grace. Her eyes skimmed over the notice, a small sigh escaping her lips as she read through the reviews.
"Another one of these...," she muttered under her breath, clearly unimpressed. "They can't even get a proper address, much less make sure their deliveries aren't causing damage."
She crossed her arms, considering the service with her usual pragmatic perspective. "Sure, it's fast... but at what cost?"
She shook her head and adjusted the pouch on her belt, not bothering to read further. "I'll stick to my own methods. At least I know they're reliable."
However, she couldn't help but let out a soft snort at the mention of "emotional distress."
"Well, I guess that's one way to keep things interesting."
With that, she kept walking, her thoughts already on her next task — and definitely not on a service that left craters in its wake.
Sangonomiya Kokomi walked past just then, her serene, graceful presence immediately felt as she approached the notice board. She paused to read the hastily written announcement, her gaze soft but inquisitive as she scanned the reviews.
Her expression remained thoughtful as she read through the chaos of it all. "A service that moves with such speed... but leaves such disruption?" she mused quietly. "I wonder what motivates them to work this way..."
Her fingers brushed against the note for a moment as she considered the situation. "I do appreciate efficiency, but this... perhaps a more measured approach would benefit them."
She turned to her retainer, who had been walking behind her. "What do you think? Should we look into this?"
After a pause, her retainer simply nodded, giving a respectful but unsure glance toward the notice. Kokomi gave a soft smile in return.
"Perhaps it's best to wait and see what unfolds."
With that, the pair continued walking, Kokomi's calm demeanor unchanged, but with the faintest curiosity in her eyes.
As the wind picked up again, rustling the paper on the notice board, it was clear that the Special Fast Delivery Service had caught the attention of many. Inazuma's finest might not have been in a hurry to embrace this chaotic new service, but they were certainly intrigued by what kind of storm it might bring to Liyue... and maybe even beyond.