Sanji clicked his tongue in irritation as he watched Zoro lock blades with Ohm. The damn marimo had managed to snag himself a decent opponent while he was stuck playing spectator. "Typical," he muttered, grinding his cigarette underfoot. "Hogging all the fun."
His pride wouldn't allow him to stand idle. Turning on his heel, he made to join the Shandians' fight when his instincts screamed at him a faint rustling sound from his left. Without thinking, he launched himself backward just as a fluffy white cloud rolled past where he'd been standing.
BOOM!
The explosion sent dirt and debris flying, the shockwave ruffling Sanji's hair as he landed gracefully. "Cheap tricks from a cheap priest," he scoffed, brushing imaginary dust from his ruined suit.
From the smoke emerged a rotund figure with wild red hair and a grin that stretched unnaturally wide. "Oho! The Blue Sea rat has quick feet!" Satori chuckled, his belly jiggling as he summoned more of his Surprise Clouds fluffy white orbs that bobbed menacingly in the air around him.
Sanji's eye narrowed as he took in the bizarre weapons. Each cloud looked identical, but the way they twitched slightly suggested different contents. One might hold flowers, another knives, and the next enough explosives to level a building.
"Come at me!" Sanji challenged, shifting into his signature fighting stance.
What followed was a deadly dance of misdirection.
Satori threw a cloud that released a shower of rose petals that Sanji easily dodged. Seeing that he sends another cloud that spat out a volley of kunai which Sanji deflected with swift kicks.
The third cloud was what took Sanji by surprise as it exploded violently the moment his foot made contact
Satori's laughter grated on Sanji's nerves. "Fufufu~ Can't predict which is which, can you?"
Sanji wiped a trickle of blood from his cheek where a blade had nicked him. "Annoying bastard," he muttered. But when he launched his next attack a blazing Diable Jambe kick Satori sidestepped effortlessly.
"Ah ah ah~" the priest wagged his finger. "Mantra sees all! Your attacks will never—"
Sanji's boot suddenly changed trajectory midair, grazing Satori's shoulder. The priest's eyes bulged in shock.
"Predict this," Sanji growled, landing lightly as his leg cooled from its fiery aura.
Sanji started attacking as Satori dodged every attack with infuriating ease, his Mantra giving him perfect prediction.
Seeing this, Sanji began varying his kick timings, sometimes holding back half a second to throw off the rhythm. The cook started incorporating feints, his movements becoming less telegraphed
Satori's confidence wavered as sweat beaded on his brow. "Impossible! My Mantra should—"
"Should what?" Sanji interrupted, pivoting on one foot. "Make you untouchable?" His other leg lashed out in a blur. "News flash no prediction works against someone who's still getting stronger."
The distance between them closed with each exchange. What began as a frustrating stalemate was rapidly turning in Sanji's favor as he learned to work around the Mantra's limitations. His kicks came faster, sharper, less predictable.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he noted the irony all those years of dodging Zeff's unpredictable attacks in the Baratie's kitchen were paying off now. The old man would probably laugh if he could see this.
Satori panted heavily, his initial amusement replaced by growing panic as Sanji's attacks kept getting closer, closer—
CRACK!
A wellplaced kick finally connected with Satori's jaw, sending the priest spinning through the air to crash into a pile of rubble. Sanji landed smoothly, lighting a fresh cigarette as the smoke cleared.
"Tch. All that talk about divine foresight," he muttered, blowing out a stream of smoke. "Couldn't even see that coming."
Sanji smirked as he strolled toward Zoro, who was still locked in combat with Ohm. The priest was panting heavily, his massive sword trembling in his grip, while Zoro looked barely winded.
"What's wrong, moss-head?" Sanji taunted, lighting a fresh cigarette. "Can't even handle a simple opponent like that?"
Zoro's eye twitched violently. "Shut up, shitty cook! Don't distract me—I might not be able to hold back!"
Ohm's face twisted in fury. "You dare mock me?! I am a divine warrior! I will—"
Sanji exhaled a stream of smoke, utterly unimpressed. "Reasons."
That single word was the last straw.
Zoro's grip tightened on Nozarashi, the massive zanpakutō humming with barely restrained power. "Fine. You asked for it."
With a single, fluid motion, he unsheathed the blade—
—and the world split.
Joke.
The air itself screamed as Nozarashi's edge carved through Ohm's defenses like paper, the priest's eyes widening in shock before he was sent flying, crashing through multiple ruins before disappearing into the distance.
But the slash didn't stop there.
It continued—
—tearing through the battlefield—
—slicing a mountain in half—
—before finally dissipating into the horizon.
Silence.
Every fighter—Shandian, priest, Straw Hat—froze mid-motion, jaws slack. Even Zoro blinked, staring at his sword in disbelief.
"What the hell was that?!" Usopp shrieked, his voice cracking.
Yachiru, perched on a nearby rock, clapped her hands excitedly. "Yay! Congratulations, Zo-chan! You just unlocked 2% of this sword's power!"
Zoro's eye twitched again. "...2%?"
Sanji whistled. "Well, at least now we know why you never use it."
As the dust settled, only one battle remained—Luffy vs. Enel.
The scene was almost pitiful.
Enel, the self-proclaimed God of Skypiea, lay sprawled on the ground, his white robes torn, his once-pristine skin bruised and bloodied. His breath came in ragged gasps as he struggled to push himself up.
Luffy loomed over him, his straw hat casting a shadow over Enel's face.
"T-This... is heresy..." Enel wheezed, his voice trembling with disbelief. "I am divine... I am—"
Luffy's fist rocketed forward.
THWACK!
The punch connected with Enel's jaw with enough force to send him spiraling through the air, crashing into the remnants of his own altar. The impact shook the very clouds beneath them.
Silence.
Then—
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Huh." Zoro scratched his head. "That was anticlimactic."
Nami sighed, rubbing her temples. "I can't believe we just beat up a god."
Usopp, trembling, whispered, "We're all going to hell for this."
Robin chuckled. "I suppose even gods have limits."
Meanwhile... on the top of the golden bell, two people who didn't participate in the fight gazed with interest.
"Robin.. prepared it..?" Nolan asked in a lazy tone as he looked at Robin who smiled and handed him some white robes.
One that looks like it came from ancient greece.
Then without any shame, Nolan stood up from his nimbus and raised both of his hands.
Robin as if it is natural quickly came to his front and started taking his clothes off. "Aren't you ashamed of being taken care like this at your age?" she asked in teasing tone.
However that teasing halted when she reached the bottom part of his clothes. She slowly took it off as the large monster almost slapped her in the face.
Her gaze turned dazed looking at it while Nolan just yawned. "Ashamed...?" He returned the question as Robin quickly regained her composure. Though the redness from her face couldn't be hidden anymore.
The heavy breaths are also quite noticeable.
Robin cleared her throat, willing her fingers not to tremble as she swiftly wrapped him in the pristine white robes. "N-no, I suppose not," she managed, though the flush spreading to her ears betrayed her.
When she stepped back, the transformation was striking. The sunlight seemed to bend around Nolan, forming an ethereal halo. His pink eyes glowed with an otherworldly light against the billowing white fabric. He looked less like a man and more like some forgotten god who had wandered onto the battlefield.
"Ready Perfectly," Nolan murmured, a familiar phrase from his past life. (Guess who)
Robin caught her breath. For once, even the unflappable archaeologist found herself at a loss for words.
---