After a few more days of psychic tentacle debauchery, plus some half-assed 'Sith' training, Asmodeus was finally ready to leave home. The bathrobe was destroyed, but he managed to find a flamboyant pink cloak and brown pants. With a black belt covered in pouches, a metal suitcase filled with water and a little bit of food, he felt completely confident that he could definitely make it to civilization!
He was wrong. He was very, very wrong.
"Well… This was probably a mistake."
After wandering for less than three days through the desert, He ran out of both food and water. He was heading in the right direction, but he greatly underestimated the ridiculous distance. The Western Dune Sea was literally an ocean at one point in time, long, long ago. So that just goes to show how absurdly vast it was… Even using a hoverbike or other speedy vehicles, it took hours to days to actually get around Tatooine.
"Why can't I just stay with my Sarlacc girlfriend again?"
When he was dehydrated and starving, overheated from the scorching sun, Asmodeus could still sense plenty of life within a ten mile radius… But they were also moving. He looked down at the datapad he pulled from one of his belt pouches, "Still going the right direction. Hopefully."
There was no GPS. So it only showed a map from where he was to the Jundland Wastes. His target was a big Starport City called Mos Espa, which he figured would be a great place to find a ship to leave Tatooine. Starting his career as a… Something.
"I just gotta get the fuck outta here before the 'plot' begins. Then again, if Anakin was already taken to the Jedi… Then couldn't I just kidnap his mom and sell her to the little bastard as a favor later? Heheheh~! She's not really my type, but it would be kinda hilarious to say 'Anakin… I am your father.' After I cut off his fucking hand for being a piece of shit."
Asmodeus rubbed his smooth chin and looked up at the bright blue sky, "Hmmm, but then again, if Shmi, Schmi, Shimmy? Whatever the fuck her name was. If she doesn't die, then will Anakin still become Darth Vader? Uh… No, for that matter, don't a shit-load of really complicated and ridiculous things still need to happen for him to turn into Vader? If I change just one tiny thing, Palpatine might have a goddamn heart attack randomly or Yoda could get some kinda brain parasite and die."
He was clearly delirious from dehydration, starvation and heatstroke. He thought he saw a bird flying through the sky. Then he saw another bird chasing behind it…
*Biiiao~!*
*Boom!* A big red blaster bolt exploded only a dozen meters away!
"Yes! Hahahaha~! Finally! I win! Hahaha~!" Instead of being scared, Asmodeus shouted excitedly and jumped up in the air, "Hey! Come down here! Come down and pick me up! Look! Hey! Stop! Stop running away! Fuuuuck~!"
In his delirium, the boy chased after the two ships with all of his strength. In front was a gray half-moon shaped shuttle with red painted around the edges. The unfortunate ship didn't have any armaments. On the other hand, the craft that chased them down had three blasters. One on the top of the bulky blue and beige cockpit, with the two others at the ends of long, slender wings. For whatever reason, one of the wings was on the left side and the other was just straight down towards the ground.
Fortunately for Asmodeus, the ships didn't keep flying in a straight line. The ship in the lead avoided dozens of attacks, then twirled around and shot up almost out of the atmosphere. When the attacker tried to chase, the dove back down again, nearly clipping one of the wings! However, oddly enough, even though the wing wasn't directly hit, it still started smoking…
From that moment on, the positions changed dramatically. The half-disk shaped weaponless shuttle was badgering the frantically escaping light freighter. The three weapons were already destroyed and there were many cracks all over the outer plating. Eventually the ship spun in circles as he shot out black smoke and crashed into the orange dunes!
"Yes! Yes! Hahaha~!" Meanwhile a crazy boy ignored the warnings from his most basic survival instincts and kept charging over towards the crash site… The Force was guiding him there for a reason. Considering the alternative was dying pointlessly in the desert, he decided to take his chances.
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