"...."
Ah, seriously. It was just a dream.
As he stared at the ceiling, by now a familiar sight— he clicked his tongue and rubbed his forehead. The doll he had been holding was pushed aside, and he stretched his body out.
"Stop knocking."
He grumbled in a hoarse voice, still thick with sleep. As far as he remembered, today was his day off. He had assumed he'd be able to sleep longer, but maybe it was a good thing he'd woken up. He didn't want to continue the dream he was having.
"Captain Nakajima is calling you. Said there's an urgent matter."
Ah, now that the guy outside had mentioned it, he rose from his bed, grabbed a T-shirt draped over the chair, and slipped it on to cover his bare upper body.
"I'll go see him," he said, and the sound of retreating boots echoed from outside.
Even before he met with Captain Nakajima, Niel could already guess what kind of conversation awaited him.
And maybe that was why he had dreamt of something from his childhood last night. It had been a long time since he'd had a dream— sleep was something he cherished most, because ever since he was a child, right up to now, he rarely dreamed. But last night was different, and he knew exactly what had triggered his subconscious to revisit the past.
It happened yesterday, when Logan came to see him, asking to talk, knowing soon it would be the end of his exchange instructors contract at Australia. Without shame, the man said something that Niel found completely absurd.
'Work with me, because if you're not, Calvin said he would take you .... But I know you would refuse, but he is a persistent man, who knows what kind of methods he would do to get you .... Also, Henry said your mom is finally cured. She's healthy now. Even so, she still needs to drink her daily medicine… and he wants you to try meeting her again.'
Mom is finally cured?
Niel hadn't even had the chance to close the door. At first, he hadn't planned to shut it completely either— because every time he was alone with this man, something inside him told him to stay alert.
It always felt safer to keep some distance from Logan. It didn't feel right to let the door close— but then Logan said that, calmly seating himself in one of the chairs, and Niel instinctively slammed the door shut with a loud bam.
'What did you say?'
He couldn't stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. He doubted his own ears after hearing something so absurd.
'I said Henry, your dad, wants you to meet your mom. Because your mom is healthy now.'
'...'
That's not even funny.
Niel scoffed under his breath, and Logan, hearing it, raised an eyebrow as he watched Niel still standing near the door— making no move to come any closer.
'It's been five years.'
Logan said, his tone softening, or maybe that was just Niel's imagination— before he continued,
'It's the first time we've actually talked again, properly ... so you should sit down. Also… I want to apologize for the last time we met. I was rude.'
Ah, that—
The first time they'd seen each other again after five years. When the man suddenly showed up here, out of nowhere, and without a single word, grabbed Niel and dragged him away. It startled him. Niel hadn't wanted to speak with him then, especially not when Logan's strange behavior had genuinely scared him. That's why Niel had pulled him into the storage room, away from the eyes of people in the building. It wouldn't look good if the rumored soon to be chosen leader was seen fighting with someone believed to be his own brother.
He didn't want to risk giving the press any fuel for an exploitative headline that would taint the company's name.
And the man came again during his stay in Australia, doing some kind of crazy things that caused Niel to fully shut him. It was always the same talk, 'Work with me.'
Sometimes, Niel wondered, why someone as smart as Logan, an alpha prime at that, decided to do something irrational.
Not that he cared about the man— it was more that he wanted nothing more to do with that family.
Niel had made up his mind five years ago.
There was no bond anymore. Even though his mother was still in that house, she wouldn't have cared that her son had left.
From the moment Niel moved into the high school dormitory outside of Arkan, he never saw her again. It wasn't like she had noticed his absence— she never tried to reach out, to be more exact, she couldn't.
And perhaps that made sense, considering she hadn't been mentally well.
Niel understood that.
He couldn't even bring himself to hate her, no matter how deeply his heart shattered whenever he thought of her.
Five years.
What Logan said was true. While this wasn't their first meeting after those five years, it was the first time they had a conversation without Logan trying to force him or reach out to touch him— the man looked composed now, and his eyes no longer carried that feverish gleam that used to drive him to stupid behavior.
Niel had lived with this man long enough to read his expressions, at least to some extent, even though Logan's shifts in demeanor were often subtle— right now, he wasn't lying. Niel could tell.
Still—
'Don't lie to me. Dad never said that.'
He threw the words out, and saw Logan's shoulders twitch ever so slightly at the accusation. But the man kept calm as always, showing no signs of offense.
'…I didn't lie.'
That's too much accusation, Logan added. And when Niel heard that, his eyes narrowed, and his forehead tensed, making him instinctively rub the spot.
'Also,' Logan continued, 'How could he tell you anything when you deliberately cut him off? You know Henry's heart is too soft sometimes. He knows that trying to reach out to you would only push you further away. So he waited patiently for you to come home. And now, you should come home, Niel. It's been five years. That was our promise.'
'I never said it was a promise… I never said I'd definitely come back to that house.'
'You promised.'
'I never said it was a promise! I just said I'd forgive you if we didn't see each other for five years. I never said I'd return home.'
'You promised.'
You promised, Logan said again, as if repeating it with that quiet insistence could overwrite Niel's memory. But Niel just stared at him in puzzlement like he was looking at someone who'd suddenly lost his mind.
Even though he had known Logan since they were kids, there were moments like this— where Logan masked himself so thoroughly that Niel couldn't read a single thing from him. This was one of those times. No matter how long he studied the man's face, he found no answer.
It was unsettling— how sometimes Logan looked uncanny. Like something unnatural pretending to be human. Like a creature crawling into human skin and learning to imitate emotions for the first time.
What's his intention? What does he want? Is he telling the truth, or is this another one of his games?
Or maybe— this wasn't something that should surprise Niel anymore. Logan was an alpha prime. They were known to be born with a different kind of nature. So what was the point in constantly trying to rationalize everything Logan did to him? the way they interacted, the way that man kept making him feel things that left him with this unshakable sense….
…that he was somehow feel even more dirty because of this questionable feelings.
Ha. Niel rubbed his forehead.
Logan was still looking at him, though now his brows had softened slightly. He finally opened his mouth.
'Actually, I don't even want you to come back to the house just because of her. I didn't like the idea at first, but your dad kept insisting that you should see her.'
I wonder why .... Is it because you two are connected by blood? Then, soon after, one of Logan's hands lifted and hovered halfway up his face, fingers covering his lips. From that gesture, it seemed like words Logan wished hadn't slipped from his mouth. A faint furrow appeared on his brow.
The question came without eye contact. As if he didn't want to hear the answer— like he already knew what Niel would say— Logan suddenly stood up, then pulled something out from the inner pocket of his suit jacket.