"Now then. Let's get down to business."
Dracula looked Nyaruko straight in the eye.
"Nyaruko, Kuko... what kind of trouble have you brought this time?"
The way he asked made it clear—they had a long history. He didn't even bother with "What are you here for?" because he knew that wherever Nyaruko went, chaos was sure to follow. The only unknown was the scale of disaster she'd bring, depending on her mood.
"Wh-what are you saying…?" Nyaruko's eyes darted about as she put on a pitiful expression.
"I suppressed my eldritch instincts for you, saved a child that was going to be sacrificed to us, and yet… you're being so cold… sniffle..."
Tears welled in her eyes, and anyone who didn't know better would have melted on the spot. Even Nero and Elizabeth started to waver.
But Dracula simply stared back at her with a deadpan look.
"Oh, that's great and all... but one thing at a time. Start by telling me what you've done to this world."
He thought for a moment.
"Actually, forget how you got in—those two idiot Counter-Forces couldn't have stopped you anyway. Just tell me what you're planning."
"Aww… you're no fun." Nyaruko pouted. "Please? I promise I won't destroy this world, okay…?"
Dracula sighed. "Fine, I'll hold you to that."
"Really!?" Nyaruko's eyes sparkled. "Dracula, I love you! Gimme a hug!"
"Don't get too excited."
He shoved her face back gently.
"If something does happen... you're the one taking responsibility."
His cold gaze pinned her in place.
"In other words—if this world gets screwed, I'm coming straight for you."
"A-ahahaha…" Nyaruko quickly changed the subject. "Let's not talk about mean stuff like that~! Let me tell you all the fun things I did after we parted last time!"
"Oh right," Dracula mused. "Last I remember, you turned into a cheerful Black guy and said you were running for president of the humans…"
"Yup! I actually won! I became President of the glorious human 'Beacon Nation'!" Nyaruko beamed. "And I even got a Nobel Peace Prize!"
"Wait... Peace Prize? You??"
"Yeah, weird, huh?" Nyaruko laughed. "But honestly, it's human fickleness that makes them so lovable! As a parting gift, I left them with the two worst candidates I could find. My token of appreciation."
"Okay, stop." Dracula pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You two are going to stay with me for a while. I'll keep a close eye on you."
Kuko, who hadn't spoken a word until now, gave a silent nod.
Nyaruko blushed and covered her face. "Oh my, asking two beautiful girls to live with you… Is this a confession? Or a harem declaration?"
Suddenly, Kuko threw her arms around Nyaruko and glared at Dracula.
"Nyaruko is mine!"
"Don't misunderstand." Dracula remained calm.
"I just need to monitor you two closely to make sure you don't cause more trouble. Protecting this world is my job right now."
Nyaruko made a faux-frightened face.
"Who would dare cause mischief in front of the newly crowned 'Godslayer of Outer Gods,' the one who rivals even the Father of Us All—Dracula-sama? Anyone who tries must have a death wish."
"Weren't those two outer gods I devoured the ones you let loose in the first place?" Dracula reached out and tugged on Nyarlathotep's ahoge.
"Alright, enough—come back with me. I'll arrange rooms for both of you."
Just like that, Dracula, still tugging on the silver-haired girl's ahoge while she shrieked in protest, led the group out of the underground bar.
Back at Demon Castle, the heavy doors creaked open.
Sitting right across the entry hall was Kagarino Kirie.
She was calmly flipping through a grimoire, while several undead minions behind her swept the floor under her silent command. The castle's resident housekeeper had apparently learned to multitask without even realizing it—clearly, she was becoming increasingly adept at the role.
Hearing the door open, Kirie glanced up—and blinked. Dracula had just walked in, dragging a silver-haired beauty by her ahoge, flanked by Nero, Elizabeth, and a red-haired twin-tailed girl she didn't recognize.
Kirie promptly stood to greet them. "Welcome home, Lord Dracula."
Tilting her head curiously, she looked at Nyarlathotep and Kuuko. "And these young ladies… Are they guests of yours?"
"Who the hell is this woman?" Nyarlathotep squawked as she struggled to break free. "What's with that smug 'lady of the house' tone? You cheater! You've been seeing other women behind my back, haven't you?!"
Yank.
"Gyaaaah!" Nyarlathotep screamed as Dracula gave her ahoge a sharp tug.
"She's my housekeeper—Kagarino Kirie," he said flatly. "Kirie, prepare two guest rooms for these two."
Then, turning back to Nyarlathotep, he added coldly, "And quit spouting nonsense. When I first met you, you changed appearances every three days—from man to woman, child to elder, even fish, birds, and bugs. And let's not forget your... tentacle phase. Whatever we had, it sure as hell wasn't romance."
"Ow ow ow! I get it, I'm sorry!" Nyarlathotep teared up under the relentless tugging.
Dracula let go. With a sudden flicker, Nyarlathotep teleported behind Nero and stuck out her tongue. "Hmph. Dummy."
Dracula's brow twitched.
A flash of silver glinted in his hand.
Thwip! Thwip! Thwip!
Three forks sliced through the air, brushing Nyarlathotep's hair before embedding themselves in the door behind her.
"Do you understand now?" Dracula asked calmly.
Nyarlathotep, now drenched in cold sweat, nodded.
"Good." Dracula turned on his heel. "Come, Kirie. Let's help these two pick out rooms."
Kirie followed him upstairs. Nyarlathotep and Kuko exchanged a glance, then quickly turned to look at the still-quivering forks impaled in the door—and hurried after them.
Nero and Elizabeth, meanwhile, headed straight for a bath. The castle's former fishman tank had long since been remodeled into a full-on bathhouse, thanks to Kirie's clever hands and love of long soaks.
"Any rooms nearby still available?" Dracula asked. "Preferably close to mine—or yours."
"There are many rooms in the castle, but the third floor has the best ones," Kirie replied, then turned politely to the two new arrivals. "This way, Miss Nyarlathotep, and…?"
"Just call me Kuko," the redhead said.
"Understood. Miss Kuko, this way please."
As the girls followed Kirie past Dracula, Kuko subtly tugged at his sleeve. She slipped him a rather questionable book and whispered:
"This is for you. In exchange, can you arrange it so Nyarlathotep and I share a room?"
Dracula flipped through the book nonchalantly, then smirked.
"Deal."