Today was a beautiful day in Fontaine—clear skies and bright sunshine bathed the central statue of the Hydro Archon in the Court of Fontaine. The statue's serene expression made the deity appear kind and wise.
Furina slammed a newspaper onto her desk with a loud thud. The headline read: {"Inazuma's Sakoku Decree Intensifies—Hydro Archon Focalors Vows to 'Blast Open Inazuma's Borders, Conquer Tenshukaku in Three Days'"}
"Absolute nonsense! This is slander! Fabrication! Who gave them the audacity to write such things?! Arrest them—round them all up and exile them to the Fortress Meropide!" Furina roared, pounding her fist on the desk.
She never expected a newspaper to dare twist facts so brazenly and spread outright lies.
'Outrageous. Absolutely outrageous! Did they not know the Raiden Shogun was famously unbeatable in combat?! If she pulled a blade from her chest and struck her down in one blow, what then?!?!'
"Please calm down, Lady Furina. These small tabloids always exaggerate for the sake of sales," Richard said calmly, glancing at the tea-stained newspaper.
"So, for the sake of sales, they can just ignore the truth?" Furina huffed, jabbing a finger at the offending article. "Richard, isn't there any way to rein them in?"
"Well, if you simply don't read it, it won't affect you," Richard suggested after a moment's thought.
He couldn't help but wonder, 'Was it just him, or was the Hydro Archon acting unusually emotional? Her behavior seemed more like that of an ordinary girl upset over rumors rather than a shrewd deity. Of course, it was possible she was putting on an act. Best to observe further.'
"So if they don't get caught, it's not a crime?" Furina shot back.
"You're twisting my words, Lady Furina," Richard replied, feeling a pang of guilt, as if her remark carried a hidden meaning.
"Regardless, now that I've seen it, I can't just ignore it. What if Inazuma finds out and it damages diplomatic relations?" Furina treated this as a matter of international significance.
Richard, however, disagreed. "The Inazuman government wouldn't waste time on some obscure tabloid with no real influence."
Furina widened her eyes. "Are you implying I have too much free time?"
She certainly knew how to zero in on the wrong point.
Richard rubbed his temples. "That's not what I meant, but I think—"
"You'd better not. Follow my orders, Secretary Richard. I am the Minister of Administration!" Furina cut him off. His incessant talking annoyed her.
"...As you wish, Lady Furina," Richard conceded, seeing no room for argument.
And so, the first clash between the Minister of Administration and her general secretary concluded, with the minister leveraging her authority to claim a narrow victory.
Unbeknownst to Furina, far in the southwestern corner of Teyvat, in Inazuma, that very same tabloid had already found its way onto the desk of the Grand Narukami Shrine's Guuji Yae.
"How amusing. General Kujou Sara, come take a look. This article claims they'll conquer the Shogun's residence in three days. Do you think that's feasible?"
The speaker was a shrine maiden with long, silky pink hair. Her ample chest strained against her robes, and her fair thighs were bare, leading down to delicate feet clad only in wooden sandals. Most striking, however, were the pair of fluffy pink fox ears atop her head—so soft-looking that one might be tempted to reach out and touch them.
Alas, since the Guuji's birth, only a select few had ever been granted that privilege.
"Impossible. Lady Yae, since when have you paid attention to such sensationalist drivel?" Kujou Sara replied coolly.
To the general, such news was pure fabrication. Yet she couldn't deny that when Yae Miko read it aloud, she did feel provoked.
Not that it mattered. Fontaine wouldn't actually invade Inazuma, and Inazuma wouldn't retaliate over some third-rate gossip rag.
Yae Miko chuckled softly, studying the composed and loyal general beside her. "Still, within this article… I sense a familiar hand at work."
"If it's him… then with the Shogunate as it is now, he might just pull it off."
"What was that?" Sara frowned, having missed the Guuji's muttering.
"Oh, nothing. Instead, why don't we place a bet? Let's predict how the newly ascended Hydro Archon will handle this matter," Yae Miko proposed, her lips curling into a playful smile.
Sara had no interest in such games. "Lady Yae, I have military affairs to attend to. If you summoned me here for this, I must take my leave."
"No need to rush. The Shogunate won't collapse without you, but I might wither from boredom if you leave," Yae teased.
"You mean you'll have no one to amuse yourself with," Sara retorted bluntly.
"If you insist~" Yae waved the newspaper. "Then let's wager on it. I say the Hydro Archon will personally intervene, escalating this into a major incident."
Sara doubted any Archon would bother with such trivial gossip. To a god, this would be no more noteworthy than an ant at their feet.
"I believe the Hydro Archon will dismiss it as insignificant," Sara stated.
"Then if I win, you must come to Yae Publishing House for a cosplay shoot. If you win, I'll leave you alone for a month. Deal?"
So you do know you're a nuisance, Sara thought dryly. But given Yae's position, she couldn't refuse outright.
"Lady Yae… you won't interfere to sway the outcome, will you?" Sara asked warily.
"Of course not. I play fair—no underhanded tricks," Yae declared with mock solemnity.
Sara eyed her skeptically but ultimately relented. If Yae gave her word, she'd likely keep it.
"By the way… what's cosplay?"
It wasn't that Sara expected to lose—she simply didn't understand the term. But if she did lose, she ought to know what she was agreeing to.
"Just a few photos—like a private portrait. Don't worry, they won't go public," Yae replied, her fox-like eyes glinting with mischief.
She could already picture the scene.