"I'm sorry Mrs. Harper, while I really appreciate your enthusiasm, I'm afraid that out of all our contestants, you are the least fit for this job." remarked the interviewer shaking his head
The smile on Charlotte's face disappeared as her shoulders droop in disappointment.
"Oh, okay I understand." replied Charlotte as she stood up turning to the door. "Sigh, I've failed again. Can't wait to hear what Larry will say."
___
"Hey, Larry. I'm back." voiced Charlotte as she stepped into the three-roomed apartment shakily. The apartment only had one bedroom, kitchen, and living room. So they had to alternate sleeping between the couch and bed. Of course, they were too broke to buy another bed or house. There was also a bathroom, but it was so small, it couldn't be counted as a room.
"Oh hey, Charlotte. Based on the tone of your voice, I'm assuming that you didn't get the job...again."
"Yeah." replied Charlotte as her head sunk down.
"Well...Well...Well, so what number is this one? The 19th? Wow, one more and you'll reach the 20 rejection milestone." said Larry as his laughter filled the room.
"Larry, I don't think you understand the severity of our situation." said Charlotte as her ice cold eyes stared down Larry.
"Relax, Charlotte. We'll be fine." replied Larry as he sat nonchalantly on the sofa.
"Fine!? You think this is fine? Larry, our rent is overdue by 10 and a half weeks. Look into our fridge, the only food we have left is that 2 day old pasta and a box of Ramen noodles. We have no car, the internet is shit here, and our plumbing system is so fucked up that half of the time I can't even flush the goddamn toilet. You're telling me this is fine?"
"Hmm, maybe you're right. This isn't as fine as it seems to be."
"Yeah, so I think you should get your butt up and..."
"Orrrrr, you could try to find another job, after all, if you were rejected from 19 jobs already, the odds that you'll be rejected from the 20th are very low."
"No, Larry. Being rejected from 19 jobs just gives evidence that I'll probably be rejected from the 20th." Charlotte groaned as she facepalmed her forehead.
"What are you trying to say? That you should stop with the jobs and work as a poll stripper? I mean that isn't too ridiculous, I know that I would pay to see you if I was some random person at the bar."
"Where the fuck did that idiotic idea come from? Of course I'm not going to become a poll stripper, I'm just saying that since I'm failing with the jobs, maybe you should try to get one."
"Okay, hell no. You know me, the only thing I'm good at(and want to do) is resting, relaxing, and having fun."
"You know that you need a job in order to rest, relax, and have fun."
"Bullshit, having a job means not resting, you're telling me I have to not rest in order to rest? What kind of dumb logic is that?"
"Larry, you need money to have fun and rest... and you need a job to get money... and a job means that you have to work... and having to work means not resting... but a job also gives you money... and money gives you fun and rest... so a job means rest and no rest... which means that no rest means rest."
"..." Larry blinked like he didn't understand anything that Charlotte just said.
"Hello? Larry, did you hear anything I just said?"
"... you know, this is why the world is so fucking stupid. It makes no sense. Why the hell do I need to not rest in order to rest?"
"Larry, we don't have time to complain about things we can't control... so get your ass up and find a job!"
"But I don't want to." moaned Larry as he flopped himself onto the sofa like a fish out of water.
"Come on, Larry. If we get evicted, we will have to live on the streets, and you'll be able to rest for the rest of your life, but you won't have fun resting in the streets will you?"
"...erm actually, I will have fun." said Larry as he smirked while trying to stick his two front teeth out and pointed his index finger up
"Larry, stop being delusional."
"I'm not being delusional though. Do you know that the human brain is very powerful? It can influence one to do what ever they want."
"Uh, yea. Every single fucking human brain can do that. You aren't..."
"But, I'm different, years of doing nothing but resting allowed me to influence my brain to think whatever the hell I want, not what my brain wants."
"Umm, what's the fucking difference?" asked Charlotte while blinking her eyes, "I don't see how this is helping."
"The difference is, that if someone hits me I can make my brain make me laugh. If my brain were controlling itself, it would make me sad and cry. So, if I were to live in the streets for the rest of my life, I could make myself think that I'm very happy."
"..." it's now Charlotte's turn to stand dumbfounded, after a long pause Charlotte finally managed to squeak out, "I get it, you're retarded."
"Well wasn't that fucking obvious?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I wasn't joking though."
"I wasn't either."
Silence befalls the room as Charlotte and Larry stare mindlessly at each other.
"I wonder who is more idiotic, me for being rejected from 19 jobs, or Larry for... well... for being Larry." mused Charlotte. "Sigh, well it's getting late, I'm going to bed. We'll think of something tomorrow."
"Sure, sure" replied Larry as he lay down on the sofa, pulling a blanket over himself. Today was Charlotte's turn to sleep on the bed.
"Goodnight, Larry."
"Goodnight."
As Charlotte stepped into the bathroom, she looked into the mirror, unlike Larry's pitch black hair which seemed to absorb and reflect light at the same time, Charlotte's pale hair shined like gold in the bright light. "Sigh, Goodnight Charlotte."