' It's almost 4 P.M. I need no hurry up'
In the crowded corridor, Asif was rushing toward the entrance with a pounding chest. He collided with two guys in the way but it didn't slow him down.
'I must propose to her today or I might not get the chance again'
He went to the second-year building to meet his crush. Today is their last class before HSC (Higher Secondary Certificate).
Outside the academic building, Jesmin is gossiping with her friends and she notices Asif standing alone looking at her.
She excuses herself to meet Asif.
' need to calm down. Today I will ask her out - Asif clutches a flower in his pocket.
"hey asif! Why are you so tensed up? Did something happen?"
Jasmine initiated the conversation.
"oh! nothing at all. I just....."
"I'm glad you come. take this"
Jasmin gives him a card.
"what's this?"
"I'm getting married after the HSC. You know my family can't afford college tuition fees. So, they are marrying me off. I think that's reasonable. Please attend the marriage. I don't have a brother. You're like a younger brother to me."
The heart of Asif shattered into pieces as he molded the flower within his pocket. Grief, anger, hopelessness- he felt many things.
"oh! I see. But do you really want to marry now? or it's your family's doing"
"Well. It's an arranged marriage but I agree with them. The groom's face is lower than average and more than a decade older than me but he has a big fortune from inheritance. He's also a bureaucrat who earns a lot of money though it's a bribe perhaps. Still, I can't imagine a better proposal coming to an impoverished family like us."
Jasmin said with a calm face.
'so it's all about money .... which I don't have any. Both she and her family prefer wealth to the person himself'
"I'll attend the ceremony. Make sure to prepare a big feast. I'll take my friends with me"
Asif maintains a fake smile and leaves the spot barely controlling his teary eyes.
After entering a secluded place near a tree, he throws away the flower from his pocket and squashes it away with his feet.
'Damn it all. I knew love was a luxury for poor folk like us. Obviously, she'd marry a well-off guy even if he's obese or ugly.
What even i can do?.... Running away with her.
If I had that option, I would have proposed to marry her myself as her family is also poor.
I don't have parents, money not even a proper house to begin with. How the hell can I provide her?'
He calms down after a while-
'life is like that. If you want love, you don't need a handsome face, personality, youth, or anything.
What you need is money, social status, and a lavish lifestyle. That's all girls care about.'
He walks away from the alleyway with emptiness, blaming his fate.
He enters an alley whose entrance is filled with garbage. Some well-off people forget that someone lives along with these streets. Or perhaps they simply don't care about those poor slum-dwellers.
The dawning sun gives his declaration for the end of the day but the people here refuse to believe him. They continued their work diligently.
Some laborer returns home after a hard working day with groceries just for a single day.
Upon entering deep into the alley, he noticed some folk taking white substance. No matter how poor they were, drugs need to be taken!
Asif stands before his door with a gloomy face. The door was locked from the inside so he knocked.
"Who?"
"Ayra. It's me."
Ayra, his little sister, opens the door with caution. The slum is cruel, especially for women. When might something terrible happen only Allah knows.
"Welcome back big bro. Do you bring the chocolate I wanted?"
The face of Asif darkened thinking how he wasted money on flowers foolishly.
"You'll get a cavity if you eat chocolate. Now go to your room and study. I didn't admit you to school doesn't mean you'll slack off"
There's no school nearby and the place is unsafe. That's why Asif decided to homeschool his sister until high school. He often tutors his sister after he comes back from school or work. But today, he doesn't have the mood.
He goes inside his room and shuts it down.
The feeling of betrayal and patheticness wrapped his mind. He feels miserable and blames his parents for giving birth and dying without leaving any fortune.
Suddenly, he feels that life is not worth living. Every day, it's just working hard, then school, and coming back to this shithole after all that.
His eyes dropped to a tablet. As far as he can remember it's a drug called "yaba". People say it gives a heavenly feeling.
But he has seen those drug addicts, once they take it they can't live without this substance.
"Fuck off everything. I don't want to live anyway. Let's take this and see how it feels."
He takes the drug in his palm and is just about to swallow.
"Big bro. You didn't eat lunch today. I've cooked the food"
The voice of his sister made him drop the tablet.