I wake up in the infirmary and my maid, Nadia, from the house is here. I sigh, feeling more like an empty shell of a person realizing my freedom is gone. She asks once she sees I am awake, "How long have you been sick?" I shrug, "I have been having symptoms for a while now." Nadia responds, "I don't understand why someone like you would not call for someone to take care of you like this? Also what is all of this I hear of you running away?" I sigh again looking away feeling hollow and numb, "I never asked anyone to take care of me. I never wanted this life. All I desire is to run away with Rose and live out the rest of my days by her side as a commoner."
Nadia scoffs, "You and I both know your father will never let that happen. You may not be pure anymore, but you can still marry a decent family depending on how your father displays your assets. You only have the option of staying here and then going back home. I was sent here to make sure you don't try to run away again and make sure you finish your studies." I laugh at her sick joke of a response, "Studies? Is that what you call living in this hell hole of a prison? A prison where women are just easy pickings for rapists who don't even get suspended for what they -" my numbness gets replaced with terror.
I can't even finish my sentence and I start getting overwhelmed by despair and fear again thinking of the horror again. I start sweating bullets and I feel really sick to my stomach. I clutched my mouth and Nurse Joy who had just finished making a concoction for me, like a super woman without spilling the concoction, quickly picked up a wastebasket for me to throw up in. She made it just in time and I threw up in the basket. Though I still feel scared, and can hear their voices and laughter echoing in my mind. She says while rubbing my back, "Shhh. It is ok. You are safe here in my infirmary." On repeat until calm down. Once I am calmed down she says, "Your test results finally came back from the capital. It showed elevated platelets which is a sign for multiple things. I would like to get you to come to the capital with me to do more tests to see if we can figure out what is going on with you. I will have to talk with the faculty here to see what will be required for a student going to the capital for testing. We are only trained for treating here, not testing and right now there is no precedent." I am not a doctor so I have no idea what all having extra platelets means. I guess I will have to wait and see what the doctors say. Nurse joy hands me the concoction, "This should help you breathe a little easier and it also helps with pain as well." I take it and drink it. This tastes better than the contraceptive but it still doesn't taste good.
The next few weeks I spent mostly in my room and in class very similarly to right after the incident. The women are still outside working out even without me. I guess when I said that they could make their bodies look how they want, like a bigger butt or snatched waist for instance they all couldn't wait to exercise. I am happy for them that they found something they like. I wish I could join them, but I have been getting more fatigued and getting way more dizzy spells lately and my symptoms have gotten worse. Nadia said that since my health is failing that I have to rest. That and I can tell she obviously is disgusted by the exercising. I ask her to leave the room when I talk to Rose everyday. I don't want her to hear the sweet words I whisper to her. She is a prude and was molded by this fucked up world. She wouldn't be open to lesbian love. To save myself the headache of having that uncomfortable conversation, I just have her go outside.
After about a month since returning I started getting an insatiable thirst. Like my thirst can never be quenched. I drink so much water too. Actually too much. There was a guy when I was in the army that almost died from drinking too much water and he flushed all of the electrolytes out of his system. This world doesn't know what electrolytes are so I probably could die of this first. The homemade gatorade mixed in with my daily water probably saved my life from overhydration. Though it took a few months of tweaking to get the recipe just right. I knew it had salt, honey, fruit juice, coconut water, and water but the quantities were forgotten so it took some experimentation. Nadia helped me a lot with this, especially cracking open the coconuts since my fatigue and weakness prevented me from doing so. My failures, a lot of them actually tasted pretty good because of the fruity ingredients, but having tasted actual gatorade I knew it was off and kept retrying. Nadia liked this surprisingly and would help me drink the failures. I am sure I still got electrolytes with the failures. It just wasn't the perfect concoction like it was when I perfected the recipe.
The women are furious on my behalf since my condition keeps worsening over the course of the months that has passed since returning from our last failed escape. Since my condition is worsening I have started paying Jennifer her paychecks a week in advance just in case whatever I am sick with takes me. I don't want her to not be paid. My hands and feet are now a weird color. I get strong stomach pain occasionally that causes me to collapse. I also cough a lot now. I am currently struggling to keep food down and basically have no appetite. The only thing I can eat is a small bowl of Rose's chicken and dumpling soup a day. If I try to eat anything more my body rejects it. Over these months, I have lost A LOT of weight and lost a lot of muscle mass from lack of activity. I often get bouts where I struggle to breathe and Nadia has to help me lie down then apply a medicinal ointment on my chest.
When my sickness takes a real turn for the worst they finally take me in for testing all thanks to Nurse Joy and her pestering them on my behalf. We got to the doctor's office and I was greeted by the disappointed energy 'Oh I thought it was somebody important'. Knowing how things will turn out I don't get my hopes up. Nurse Joy who is escorting me today says, "I have Miss Violet Treece here for testing. She is very sick and is progressively getting worse." The receptionist asks, "Do you have payment for today's services?" Oh, is it like that? I put my hand up to Nurse Joy and say, "I got this." I reach in my purse and drop every single bit of money I am currently carrying on my person right in front of him. He changes his tune quickly, "Right this way Miss Treece was it? We will see what we can do for you today."
They ran a wide array of tests on me today and many of them were painful. Not to mention being stuck by so many needles. Getting tattoos in my previous life was one thing but the needle puncturing the skin like that just gives me the heeby-jeebies. It isn't like it hurts or anything. I think it is a part of that condition Nurse Joy says I have that makes me weak in the knees and faint sometimes. I am exhausted by the end of testing and they put me in a nice bed to lay down while they process the results of all of the tests. The doctor comes in and I might be bad with faces but his face says it all.
I am going to die.
He says, "We triple checked the results and we can't believe everything we found." Nurse Joy holds my hand tightly while he continues, "Our tests concluded that you are currently in late stages of breast, blood, lung, brain and ovarian cancer. It appears to just have spread to your bones but it isn't as bad there as it is in the other places. We estimate that you will have no longer than 6 months to live and that is being very generous. On the non-generous side, I would guess a month." Nurse Joy squeezes my hand and makes a weird face. I knew something like this would happen. I am a character that is meant to die. I say feeling numb, "Thank you doctor for telling me." The doctor lightly chuckles in a nervous manner, "I have told many people that they are going to die, but you are the first to thank me." I sigh deeply and respond, "Well I guess you could say I have already mourned the loss of my life already. I am just ready to leave this world at this point. Is there a way you guys can give me a cocktail to kill me? I am already a dead woman walking and it would make this a lot less painful." The doctor shakes his head, "That is not legal here. I would lose my medical license if I purposely caused harm to a patient. Even if they asked me to." I sigh again and rub the back of my neck though this motion strains me now even though I'm laying down, "I understand. I don't want you to lose your livelihood because of helping me."
The doctor then scribbles on his notepad, "I am prescribing you powerful pain medicine to help. This particular one can be put in tea and doesn't taste bad. Make sure to drop by the apothecary on the way back to where you are staying to pick this up." Nurse Joy grabs the paper on my behalf with the prescription and says, "We will do that immediately. I am assuming she is free to go now?" The doctor says, "Yes, and that prescription is effective for as long as Miss Treece here is living. So, whenever you run out just go get some more." I nod and Nurse Joy helps me up. We take the academy carriage to the apothecary and Nurse Joy gets my prescription before we head back to the academy.
We get back and Nurse Joy is talking with Nadia who is shocked at the news. Nadia immediately takes the medicine and goes to brew me tea immediately. Nurse Joy walks me to the chair by the window since I don't have the strength to sit on the floor anymore. She opens the window for me and drops the phone out to Rose anticipating she would be there (she was). She probably had someone summon her when she was away from my side at some point. I take the cup in my hand and tug on the line looking out to her putting the cup to her ear, "I have bad news. I have multiple types of cancer in the late stages and they said I have at most 6 months to live. They said that the prognosis was a generous one so I most probably have even less and more realistically only one month." Rose drops the cup in shock and starts sobbing.
She picks the cup back up and tugs, "They must let me try to heal you again. They have to!" I tug on the line, "I am not sure I can even be healed with your power anymore. Damage has already been done that can't be repaired. We didn't catch it in time because of the late diagnosis. Though, they said it was a late stage which makes me think you did heal me earlier on and it didn't work probably because it's a curse." Rose tugs on the line, "THIS IS SUCH BULL SHIT! If only they tested you a few months ago like they should have! Maybe my powers with enough use would have worked!" She takes a handkerchief out and wipes her tears. I tug on the line, "It was meant to be for me to die young. I am sorry it seems I have to leave you too soon. I want to spend as much of my remaining time alive with you as I can like this, my love. To hear your voice soothes the pain I feel. To see that brilliant red hair of yours soothes my eyes. Seeing your smile soothes my soul." Nurse Joy was still in the room while we were talking and she is crying very hard now. Seeing her and my love both cry I find myself crying too. Nadia is on the opposite side of the room and doesn't hear my words though at this point I don't think that even with her being as prudish as she is would say anything about my love when I am dying.
On the day of my 18th birthday, it is right before lunch break and I am walking back to my room with Nadia's help since I am way too weak now and need an afternoon nap in my schedule. I start to feel gross and the Creator takes control and takes a pair of scissors from a student who is working on some project and goes straight for Rose. It feels like the Creator is using the last of my vital energy for this attack. I wouldn't have been able to do this since I am so sick and emaciated. Rose sees this and starts backing up and hits a wall. The Creator says, "I know what will be even sexier right now. More skin. Right guys?" The Creator asks the boys who are now spectating with drool along with the women right now who are on-looking with worry. Ren is keeping others away from me since I am armed. The Creator approaches Rose and cuts her uniform and the boys are cheering for each part of exposed flesh on her skin. I am repulsed by their actions right now. The Creator takes notice of Jennifer returning from her apparent restroom break. She rushes to get in between me and Rose. I have a pair of scissors in my hand in a position to stab Rose. Jennifer makes it in time and catches my hand with the scissors and throws me back. I feel like I may have broken a few bones with the impact to the floor, but the creator is still in control at the moment and stands up anyways.
I am fighting with everything in my power. The creator says, "If only you didn't love this girl instead of who you were supposed to love. YOU RUINED IT! She is dying because of your love for her. In your last moments I want you to know her dying will be all of your fault."
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.
I refuse to let her believe this ass hole. It hurts so much I start coughing. I feel like I am breaking through their control. I raise my left hand to my mouth and wipe the blood I coughed up. Once I realize I am in control I drop the scissors and kick them away staggering in the process and say, "Don't listen to that prick. I don't regret one moment of our time together. I hope in our next life that we can love each other without a curse getting in the way like in my first life with my wife. We had a nice family of two cats with one one-eyed cat from an accident and one small dog. We were so happy…"
Rose pushes Jennifer aside and says, "This is going to sound crazy, but Zoe is that you?" I cry, realizing finally, "Liz?" She runs to me and hugs me. Jennifer grabs the scissors and takes them far away from me. Rose starts kissing me with a complete disregard of me appearing like a vampire at this moment. I start coughing blood which interrupts the kiss and I pull away before coughing in her mouth. I say, "I was missing you all of this time and you were right in front of me. My wife, whom I love so much." I swipe her beautiful red hair out of her face, "If it is you, I would gladly die thousands of times over and over if it meant I could love you and be loved by you. I am hoping and praying to the powers that be that we can meet again in our next lives and fall in love without this curse so I can kiss you every chance I get. So I can hold your hand. Go on a proper date with you. Provide everything you could ever desire." I say, tracing my hand gently around her face and she holds my hand there while she is crying and I continue, "I want to do all the things we used to do when we were married and then experience all kinds of new things with you. It seems I keep dying young and we couldn't be together in this life." I pause to cough up blood and my legs give out from the pain and lack of vitality.
I go to collapse but Rose catches me and places me down gently while casting heal repeatedly. I continue, "I love you so much. I hope you live a long life and find happiness and peace. Can I be selfish and ask for one more kiss?" Rose is shaking as she comes in and kisses me. She doesn't kiss me long but she does linger a moment before moving back a bit to stroke the hair out of my face. Rose says while casting her heal spell on me repeatedly during this process though it has not healed me since she started, "I love you so much. Don't you leave me again. Why won't you heal? Why give me these powers if I can't heal the one I love?! Don't die on me again!"
I say as I reach over to grab her hand that is casting heal repeatedly wasting her energy, "I am sorry. I am afraid I can't control this since another force is at work. They were controlling too many pieces on the board so we couldn't fight it and survive successfully. You cry as if we lost this battle, but I think we won. They controlled so much in this world, but we fought it and changed the story. See? I didn't die by beheading. I died from cancer instead and look at those women." I point to our spectators with a shaky hand who are all crying, "They are living proof that the prophecy can be changed. They are strong fierce warriors in this life instead of being the fragile terrified women they were in the prophecy dropping out of the academy at an alarming rate. The Creator made a fucked up world, but we have been changing it for the better. You have the power to heal this broken world, Rose." I say as I touch my chest with the hand she isn't holding,"This is them having to get creative to kill me to punish my interference with 'their' narrative. I am just afraid of leaving you all alone. I love you more than you can fathom, my love. Finish writing your story and publish it. This world needs a feminist icon to inspire the hearts and lead the movement and who better than the beautiful and brilliant protagonist. I am so thankful that your beautiful face is the last thing I will see in this life. You said you wanted to give me a life of smiles and every moment I spent with you was filled with them. Even as I am in all this pain I can't help but smile because you are here. I love you, Rose. My love, I hope we meet yet again and fall in love in our next lives." I squeezed her hand, and that squeeze seemed like the last of my strength. I coughed up more blood and everything went black.