While Rick Sanchez contemplated the existential abyss from the floor of a government meeting room, a remarkably heartwarming scene unfolded around him. One man's horror was the rest's happiness.
The CIA Director, a woman who had authorized covert operations on three continents and had seen humanity's darkest secrets, approached Padmé with an expression of genuine warmth.
"Senator Amidala," she said, her voice losing its usual analytical tone. "On behalf of the United States government, though this is far above my paygrade, allow me to offer my sincerest congratulations."
The General, a man who had planned World War III scenarios, awkwardly straightened. "Congratulations, ma'am. And to you too, Director Ror. A... a new recruit for the galaxy, so to speak."
Even the President approached, his gloating grin softening with a hint of humanity. "A child. There's nothing quite like it. Get ready to never sleep again and to worry about things you didn't even know existed. It's terrible. And it's the greatest thing in the world." He clapped Kaelen on the shoulder (the flesh-and-blood one). "Congratulations, son."
The Grandchild Effect
The Smith family was called in, entering the room cautiously, expecting to find more chaos. Instead, they found Rick muttering in a corner about "tainted timelines" and the rest of the group smiling.
"What... what happened?" Morty asked.
Padmé, radiant, turned to them. "It's official. We're going to have a baby."
The reaction was instantaneous.
"I KNEW IT!" Beth exclaimed, rushing to hug Padmé. "Oh my God, a baby! I'll have to teach you all about growth percentiles and night terrors!"
"I'll be a great-uncle!" Jerry yelled, pulling out his wallet to show pictures of his model trains, as if that's what one did in these situations. "I have a little flatbed car that would be perfect for him! Or her!"
"Wait, so my cousin-ghost-uncle is having a baby who will also be my cousin?" Summer asked, her teenage brain grappling with the most convoluted family tree in the multiverse. "Okay, that's weird. But also cool. Congratulations."
Morty approached Kaelen. "Y-you're gonna be a dad? Really?"
"Looks like it, kid," Kaelen replied, with a smile he couldn't wipe off his face.
"Wow," Morty said, processing it. "That... that's amazing. Please just... don't let Grandpa Rick build their crib."
A New Purpose for Rick
Meanwhile, in the corner, Rick's crisis was escalating.
"I have to build a crib!" he muttered to himself. "A force-field crib with paradox neutralizers and an antimatter-based diaper disposal system! I have to protect it from itself! And from me! Oh God, it's gonna have my nose! And my nihilistic tendencies!"
He sprang to his feet. "I need a real lab! This bunker's a joke! It doesn't have a single particle accelerator!"
He turned to the President. "Listen, talking head with power! Your planet just became the incubator for the most dangerous variable in the multiverse. I need resources! I need iridium, plutonium, and a good catering service that serves interstellar tacos! We're going to fortify this planet!"
The President looked at him calmly. The baby news had given him the ultimate leverage.
"I'm glad to see you're finally taking planetary security seriously, Grandpa," he said, savoring the word. "You'll have everything you need."
Rick flinched at the word, but the scientific urgency and existential panic overrode his pride. He had a new project. The most terrifying of his life: the security of his unborn grandchild.
Kaelen watched the scene, amused. The confirmation of their future child had not only brought joy; it had galvanized the most powerful being he knew. Rick's panic wasn't destructive; it was... productive.
He looked at Padmé, who was surrounded by Beth and Summer, talking animatedly about names and nursery decor. He saw Jerry showing Morty pictures of his train collection. And he saw Rick, his father, already designing a planetary defense system on a napkin.
They had arrived in this universe as frightened fugitives. And now, in this room, surrounded by this broken, strange, and wonderful family, they had found more than just a refuge. They had found a home. And an army of unexpected allies, motivated by the most powerful reason of all: the arrival of a new member to the most dysfunctional family in the multiverse.