"The date was April 5th, and the half-waning moon was hiding behind the dark clouds.
I stood on the side of the suspension bridge contemplating whether I should jump or not...
The black water of the river looked like it was calling me inside to embrace silence.
I was thinking, where did it all go wrong?
Was it the day I found Naia cheating on me?
Or was it the day I drank for the first time and attacked my teacher?
I don't know, but one thing was clear: no one stood beside me.
Not my mother, my father, my grandfather, my own twin brother...
No one trusts me, no one cares about me, but maybe...
Maybe the next life will be kinder to me."
With that, I raised my foot to end it all, and suddenly a hoarse voice right behind me asked…
"Are you running away?"
I couldn't see his face; he was right behind me, and my footing didn't allow me to turn. While standing on a narrow platform, I tried to look at his face, but I couldn't.
"Running away?" I couldn't handle it anymore. "You call this running away? I call this doing a favour!
I am doing a favour for my family! My friends and everyone! This is a favour to all, to-
To myself…"
I wanted to cry, but I think the tears had dried up, and only blood remained.
"I see, what a pitiful child… "But why such a drastic step? Why couldn't you just make them feel the same way you feel…?" he said subtly but very clearly.
"Are you one of his men? "Leave me alone; I don't know anything!" I yelled while my heart was jumping in my chest.
"I am not someone you think I am. I think you are afraid of someone? The one who gave you a chance, but you blew it? Did you disappoint him? Why don't you make him feel –"
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, 'MAKE THEM FEEL THE SAME WAY!'"
Suddenly the black clouds drummed with a flash of thunder, and a cold rain began showering.
"What do you mean I make them feel the same way I did?" I know it isn't possible.
How can they feel isolated from one person?
How will they feel abandoned by one person?
How will they feel betrayed when they never had their trust in me?
It was not possible, but the voice, it had a weird confidence…
"I don't care what you say; just leave me alone! With this I shall end it all! All the misery, the pain, everything! Maybe then, even for a moment, they would feel what I felt, but I know they won't…
They didn't even care if I existed.
Even if I survived, they would kill me – no, even worse, they'll torture me! So cruelly that even death would seem like a blessing, I don't want to get caught; I don't want them to find me!"
So, these shall be my last words – " I closed my eyes and loosened my grip on the railings.
"Last words – that's not a good choice of last words, lad…"
He said it felt like he was laughing, and yet I should've been angry at that; I felt like laughing at myself too.
"Then tell me, what should be my last words? What can I say that can do anything?" I laughed at myself, my weak self, my cowardice, my life, and my luck.
"I don't know, but why don't you tell me one thing?"
I felt a hand creeping on my shoulder.
"If you had another life, another chance at life, what would you ask? What will be your wish?" The hand stayed on my shoulder; it was heavy, and for a second my mind went blank.
And I looked back at my life…
From the beginning to this moment, everyone I have met, everyone I talked to, they all just told me –
"We care.
We are here for you.
We can never LIE to you…"
Those were the words going through my mind. Now if I get another chance, I would wish…
"No one lies to me…" These were the last words I wanted to say; these should be my last words. I said with a grin appearing on my face, hopeless yet wishful.
"A perfect wish, I must say, a wish that no one lies to you…
Hm...ha...haha...hahaha...hahaha!!!" The voice broke into a maniacal laughter as if someone tickled a little child.
I stood there silently with a weird regret in my mind that I was even mocked for my last wish, my last words.
"Very well, let it be your fate then; your tongue will speak for *********, and will make sure that all the taint shall be wiped out from the man's tongue."
An eerie sensation ran through my spine. I think I heard what he said clearly, but a sharp sound blocked it. It scratched the very walls of my ear and numbed my brain, and I lost my grip…
"Be careful there!" The man grabbed me from behind and pulled me back.
"Why are you in such a hurry? "Well, if you really want to die then—"
I tried to move my body, but I couldn't. That name… that name, what was it? What happened to me?
No, I can't die!
If I die, there will be no afterlife; something dark awaits on the other side of the river. I can't go there…pull me back…no!
"What happened to you? Why are you squirming? Don't worry; I heard your last wish…"
The man whispered and pushed me…
"Only Truth shall exist in her world, and you shall be her tongue…"
My desperate fingers tried to hold the railings, but it was too late; it felt like my soul had already left my body and only heavy flesh was falling down.
*SPLASH!*
This cold current, the weight on my flesh was waving away, and slowly I descended into a dark abyss with howling silence.
My eyelids felt heavy and started closing, and every fibre in my body accepted the unnerving touch of death.
Maybe next time things will be easier…
The sudden cold turned warm, and I opened my eyes and found myself in…
My…bed?