My stomach is growling.
My body feels weak.
My head hurts... and spins.
Saliva drips from the corner of my mouth.
I'm...
Hungry.
I clutch my stomach and lie down on the floor.
If I close my eyes...
If I sleep, maybe it won't hurt so much.
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty minutes go by.
I can't sleep.
I'm not sleepy. I just want something to eat.
Anything.
Please... just a little food... please...
"Waaaaah!"
What's that noise?
"Waaaaah!"
"Waaaaah!"
Is someone crying?
...Oh no.
It's Mia!
I open my eyes and look around.
Then I see her.
Not far away, there's a little girl, about three years old, with white hair and gray eyes.
It's Mia.
My little sister.
I run to her. She's crying non-stop.
I hug her.
"It's okay, Mia. I'm here."
"Waaaaah! Waaaah!"
"I know you're hungry..."
I hold her tighter, with all my strength.
"Come on, let's go to sleep. When you sleep, the hunger goes away."
Mia stops crying.
"Sniff... sniff..."
She looks at me with red eyes and a snotty nose.
She nods and hugs me back.
We lie down together, this time holding each other.
And finally, we're able to sleep.
--------------------------------
"Aiden."
Someone taps my shoulder and wakes me up.
When I open my eyes, I see a man with brown hair and dark eyes. He's missing an arm.
"Dad...? You're back already?" I ask, rubbing one eye.
The sky's orange now; the sun is setting.
"Yes, Aiden. I brought some food for you and Mia."
Food?
That word jolts me awake.
I jump up, and Mia wakes too.
But when I try to stand...
My strength fails me all of a sudden.
I collapse to the ground, dizzy.
"Aiden!" Dad yells, worried.
I don't feel anything.
Just emptiness.
It's like I don't even have a stomach anymore.
"Food..." It's the only word I can manage to say.
I feel tiny hands grab my arm.
It's Mia.
She's looking at me, about to cry.
Don't cry...
Not for me...
Without thinking, I place my hand on her head.
"Don't cry, Mia. I'm okay," I say with a smile.
"I'm sorry, Aiden... it's my fault. I haven't been able to find more food lately... All I got were a few small pieces of meat," Dad says, voice low.
"That's great, Dad. Just give me a little. Give the rest to Mia."
"Aiden!" Dad exclaims.
Mia shakes her head.
"It's okay... I'm fine."
Mia, you're the youngest. You need to eat more to grow.
Right, Dad?
"...."
He doesn't answer.
But he doesn't deny it either.
I take two of the six pieces.
They're small, the size of my finger.
I eat the first one.
It tastes... so good.
It's the first thing in days to reach my stomach.
It feels amazing...
I look at the other piece in my hand.
Drool slips from my mouth.
I bite it slowly. It's even better than the first.
My body wants more.
It needs more.
I glance at the other four pieces...
Drool again.
My hand moves on its own...
Just one more...
It wouldn't hurt... right?
But before I touch it, I stop myself.
No!
They're Mia's.
She needs to eat more than I do.
I bite my lip.
I turn to her and smile.
"Mia, come here. These pieces are for you."
"Are you sure, Aiden?" Dad asks.
"Yes. Mia, come quick," I say, grabbing her hand and placing the piece in her mouth.
When she eats it, her expression changes.
She looks happy.
After her four pieces, she's no longer hungry.
She smiles.
I smile too.
Even with my stomach growling...
I'm not hungry anymore.
------------------------------------
I wake up at night.
It's late.
But I'm not sleepy. Maybe because I slept in the afternoon.
Next to me, Mia is still sleeping.
Dad says little kids need a lot of sleep.
I look around, but Dad's not here.
I get up from the floor and leave our shelter made of old boards and torn plastic.
I stop when I hear his voice.
Dad is talking to three people; a big man, an old man, and a woman.
He's arguing with the big man.
I hide under a pile of trash so they won't see me.
"Byron, please, give me a little more food for Aiden. His condition is getting worse," Dad says.
"That's not my problem, Derek. You decided to have two kids when you can barely feed yourself," the man replies. "Maybe you could afford that when you lived in the Center, but it was your wife who kept you afloat. She was powerful. You weren't. When she died in that gang war and you lost your arm, you became worthless. You knew they'd kick you out."
"Your kids could've stayed there, but you brought them with you. Their suffering is your fault. The only reason I let you stay here is because, even like this, you're still somewhat useful. But I'm not letting my son go hungry to feed yours."
Dad stays quiet and walks away with his head down.
I run back to the shelter.
When he arrives, he's surprised to see only Mia.
"Dad..."
He turns and sees me by the entrance.
"You went outside, Aiden?" he asks, looking into my eyes.
Then his face changes. He hesitates.
"You heard... the conversation?"
"Yes."
Dad lowers his head.
I see the tears, just like Mia's, fall from his face.
He kneels down.
"I'm sorry, Aiden... It's all my fault," he whispers.
I walk up to him.
"When your mother died and I lost my arm... keeping me alive was a waste to them. But you and Mia... you could still be useful someday. You could've stayed there. You would've had food. You would've been better off. But I..."
"I'm sorry..."
Dad sinks to the ground.
He cries.
He no longer looks at me.
I...
I hug him.
Dad looks at me, surprised.
"Dad... I love you," I say.
"You always take care of me and Mia. You do everything you can to keep us safe. I'm happy with you."
Dad's tears fall harder.
He hugs me back too.
"I love you too, Aiden. I love you both. I'll do everything I can so you never go hungry again."
"It's okay, Dad. When I grow up, I'll help you," I said.
"I love you, son," Dad said, still crying.
"And I love you, Dad."
We stayed hugging the whole night.
----------------------------------------------
Days went by... and then weeks.
I'm hungry.
I eat less and less.
Whatever little we get, I give it to Mia.
She needs to eat.
I can't move.
I have no energy.
But I have to.
Dad works so hard...
I have to show him I'm okay.
--------------------------------------'
Hours passed. I don't know how many.
I'm no longer hungry.
I don't feel anything anymore.
It's like I'm floating.
There's no more pain.
--------------------------------
I'm sleepy.
Before, hunger kept me from sleeping.
But now...
Now I'm so sleepy.
I think I'll be able to sleep.
-------------------------------------------
I feel something in my mouth.
I chew.
It's soft and fluffy...
Bread!
It's been so long...
I opened my eyes after a while
There's a big piece of bread in my hands.
It's all I can see.
Dad brought lots of food.
Amazing!
I eat, saving some for Mia.
It's the first time in days my stomach feels full.
I finally have energy.
This is wonderful.
Then I feel someone big beside me.
I hadn't noticed , too focused on the bread...
It's nighttime.
"Dad, thank you! Let's give some to Mia too."
He doesn't respond.
"Dad?"
I get closer.
When I see him clearly...
Dad is covered in red liquid.
He's holding a sharp piece of metal in his hand.
His eyes are open, looking at me.
But he's not moving.
And on his face... there's a smile.
-----------------------------------
The last smile he ever showed me.