...what?
No, seriously, what?!
An awkward silence seems to fall over the room as I try to process what I've just heard. It feels like minutes pass, though I'm pretty sure it's only a few seconds before the Future Spider-Man drops down from the ceiling next to the blue guy who just claimed to be my son. Future Spidey snaps his fingers in front of my face, though I barely notice it.
"Dude, I think you broke his brain..."
Behind us, Kang stands up from his now useless command chair "Meddlesome fools, you've interfered with my grand designs for the last time! Prepare to-"
I turn my head around, cutting him off with a snarl "No, SHUT UP! I got bigger problems than you now!" I turn back, returning my attention to what is apparently the son I never planned on having. "Okay... okay... let me just... gather my thoughts here..."
"Insolent neanderthal, I will not be silenced like some ill-mannered child-"
Oh, for fucks sake Kang, read the room!
This time, however, it's the guy calling me dad who steps in "Hey, you heard my dad, we're in the middle of something here, so sit down and shut the hell up!" His eyes suddenly begin to glow, and a pair of light beams shoot out, striking a surprised Kang in the chest and knocking him off his feet and back into his throne. "Sorry about that, dad, we've dealt with this guy before, he's a real pain in the ass. Thinks the whole timeline revolves around him."
I nod, still trying to process everything "No, that's... yeah, I've figured that out already. Look, I'm sorry, Blue Guy, but-"
"Oh, right, sorry, I guess you probably don't know my name yet, huh? I go by Sunset when I'm in costume, but my actual name is Lars Darkholme!"
Nooooooo... "Please tell me Darkholme is just a weirdly common surname and I just haven't noticed that before. And also that blue skin and red hair is also just a weirdly common mutation."
He shakes his head and tugs down his own flag mask, giving me a look at his full face for the first time. His face looks a bit like mine, if younger and, well, bluer, but the eyes? Pretty sure none of my family members have yellow eyes.
"Yeah, spoiler alert, Mystique is my mother. You guys weren't exactly on good terms during my childhood so I wasn't expecting you to be happy about it either. But, you know, on the plus side, I got a pretty cool combo platter powerset out of it, so that's something, right?"
I nod slowly "I gotta be honest, I'm still a little hung up on the fact that I apparently had a kid with a shapeshifting supervillain, so-"
"Hey guys" I'm suddenly interrupted by the girl in the Captain America costume "I don't want to get in the middle of your weird surprise familu reunion thing here, but maybe the middle of a time travelling doom ship isnt the best place to do this? You can have your little Maybe Baby moment back at the mansion! We gotta secure Kang and get him over to SHIELD before he tries anything else."
Over by the throne, Future Spidey and the male Hulk is busy disarming Kang and slapping a pair of high tech-looking shackles on him, pulling the various devices strapped to his belt and gauntlets off and tossing them in a pile "Woah, woah, hey!" They pause, staring at me "I'm all for tossing Bargain Bin Dr. Doom in SHIELD Jail, but I kinda need him to get back home! Unless you got an extra time machine lying around!"
"Oh, we totally got one of those!" Future Spidey says. "Don't worry, we got this!"
"...seriously?"
"Come on, dad, you really think this is the first time we've had to deal with time travel?" Sunset says as he puts an arm over my shoulder.
"I mean, I just ASSUMED..."
"Yeah man, I know this stuff was probably a big deal back when you guys started out a thousand years ago, but this is basically just Tuesday for us." The girl Hulk says, as she walks over to who I assume is her brother, helping him haul Kang up to his feet as they begin dragging him over towards the door. Future Spidey tosses the last of Kangs tech into a backpack he's pulled out from somewhere before putting it over his shoulder.
" 'Tis most joyful to see you once again, friend Sunshine!" Thor says, taking my hand and shaking it vigorously "I feared I would not see you again until I returned to the halls of Valhalla in person!"
"Uh, it's great to see you again too Thor, but you know how this whole time travel thing works, right? I'm from the past, Kang plucked me out of the timestream in 1964, it's been like 20 minutes since I saw you last. Whatever happened to me in this timeline, that guy is still dead." I pause "Hey, what DID happen to me anyway? Thor just said I was "lost", but I'm guessing that's just a nicer word for dead as a doorstop..."
There's a silent moment as the Avengers simply look at eachother, the only sounds being Kang's moans of pain. Finally, Lady Cap nods "Alright, but not here. We'll leave the ship for SHIELD and the Future Foundation to deal with. Let's head back to the mansion, we can talk more there..."
...
Seeing future New York from street level reminds me of the Family Guy episode with Stewie meeting his future self, specifically the scene where he complains that everything in future Quahog looks the same, and his future self points out only 30 years have passed. To be fair, there actually is quite a bit of difference from the New York I've been living in for the past few months, but it's mostly more lights, LCD billboards, and newer cars. You know, the exact things I remember from my own 2020, even if I never visited that version of New York in person.
Ugh, being a time traveller gets fucking confusing sometimes.
The mansion also looks mostly the same way I left it, with the exception of some high-tech looking drones floating around outside, metallic white spheres with a single lens on the front that I'm guessing serves as either a camera or a laser. Knowing Stark, it might be both...
Oh right, wonder what happened to him, he'd have to be atleast 90 by now. And his lifestyle didn't exactly lend itself to longevity.
The manor grounds have changed quite a bit, however, the buildings that had been next door have been removed, and the grounds expanded where they used to be. Other than some more trees and a complex set of hedges, there's a collection of white marble statues taking up most of the new space, including...
"...is that a statue of me?"
Sunset walks up next to me, looking up at the statue towering above us "Yeah, this is the Memorial Garden, it was founded way before I joined, but I think it was Tony Starks idea originally. This is where all current and former members of the Avengers are memorialized if they... well..." He shrugs awkwardly, staring silently at the monument. For some odd reason, the statue is wearing an open coat rather than the stuff I've actually been wearing as a superhero, though the flag mask and sunglasses are still there, even if it's hard to tell any details because of the lack of colors. It's also got it's hair in a ponytail rather than letting it hang free like I usually do.
Maybe this version of me did some kind of gritty costume reboot thing at some point? Whatever, that's for Future Me to deal with. I let my eyes wander, looking at the other statues placed around the garden. The one closest to mine is one of the Iron Man armor.
"So, Stark too, huh?"
Sunset just nods "Yep, first one to go, apparently. Ever hear of a guy named Obediah Stane?"
I have actually, but I can't exactly reveal why I know about his future career as the Iron Monger. "Some asshole business man, I think. They weren't exactly rare in the 60's either."
"Yeah, well, Stane was apparently a bit above the rest. Tried to drive Stark Industries out of business in the late 70's, almost bankrupted Stark, and when traditional means didn't work, he tried to do it the supervillain way with power armor. They ended up killing eachother. Stark was the last man standing, but he'd already pushed his heart as far as it could go..." He shrugs "And that was that." He makes a sweeping gesture, motioning towards the other statues "Seems like all the stories end like that, one way or the other."
He's not wrong, we haven't had to deal with it yet, but it's inevitable. We've been lucky so far, but sooner or later, heroics will get you killed. Me included, apparently.
Speaking of which...
"So, uh...son?" I can't help but wince at how weird that sounds. Sunset seems to notice by my expression.
"I'm guessing this is pretty crazy for you, huh?"
"Yeah, I mean, no offense, I'm sure you're a great kid, but-"
He chuckles "Dad, you realize I'm 45 years old, right? Kid doesn't really apply anymore..."
I pause. "Excuse me?"
"Shapeshifter. Something I got from Mom, we don't age much. She was almost a 100 when you two met."
I sigh, running a hand through my hair "Jesus christ, I'm younger than my own son. There's a new one..." He wasn't kidding about not aging much, he barely looks to be in his 20's, though the blue skin makes it a little hard to tell. "Speaking of your mother, do you have any idea how..." Not sure how to put this, no kid wants to know about his parents hooking up, but I feel like I should probably know this. If the real Mystique looks anything like her comic or movie counterparts, she's absolutely gorgeous, but that's kind of offset by the fact that she's a raging sociopath who treats her kids as pawns at best.
I wasn't planning on ever having kids, but if it does happen, I'm sure as hell not letting someone like her raise them. Though even when she DOESN'T raise them, things seem to turn out bad. That's how you end up with people like Graydon Creed.
"How you guys met?" He thinks for a moment "Not sure, neither of you ever talked about it much. All I know is that it must've been sometime in the 70's. I mean, you could have met her earlier but..." He shrugs.
I nod "But it's not like I'd necessarily know it was her." I sigh, taking a moment to look at the statuary. Guess there's no point in trying to put this off any longer. "So, I guess we might as well adress the elephant in the living room. How exactly did I die?"
Sunset doesn't answer at first, simply staring at the skyline of the city. "I was just a kid back then, didn't really understand what was going on. Mom wouldn't talk about it either, but it was bad. You sure you want to know? I mean, it's not like I want you to die, but..."
"I've come this far, might as well see this through..."
He nods "I don't remember much myself, but I've read up on things once I got older and wanted to know more about you. It all started in 1979..."448