Cherreads

Chapter 13 - Hunger That Sounds Like Music

> "The mouth doesn't open for food anymore.

Only for memory.

And memory feeds nothing."

---

Day 6.

I haven't eaten.

Not because I'm refusing.

Because I keep forgetting how.

The spoon feels foreign.

The taste — too loud.

Like chewing on broken records.

Instead, I lie on the floor and listen.

To the sound of my body collapsing gently into itself.

To the orchestra of the stomach,

playing a symphony of ghosts.

---

I used to count calories.

Now I count echoes.

One for every verse I sang without him.

One for every note I swallowed like it was poison.

I'm not losing weight.

I'm shedding silence.

---

> "You don't need bread," the voice says.

"You need resolution."

I laugh.

Not because it's funny.

But because it's true.

I'm not hungry for food.

I'm hungry for closure.

---

I find an old napkin by the piano.

It has my handwriting on it —

but it's a song I never wrote.

---

LYRIC SCRAP #1 – found beside an uneaten apple

> "I kissed you in reverse

So I could forget forward.

But you tasted like endings."

I fold the napkin.

Hide it under my shirt.

Close to my ribs.

Where the hunger lives.

---

In the mirror,

my reflection mouths the word: "swallow."

I shake my head.

She opens her mouth wider.

From inside it, a chord escapes:

> G#m – F#m – E

A progression I used once.

In a song about staying.

---

I walk into the kitchen.

Open the fridge.

There's nothing inside —

except a microphone.

Cold.

Covered in frost.

I lift it to my lips.

Whisper:

> "Feed me."

The fridge hums in A minor.

---

The hunger begins to rise.

It's not physical.

It's melodic.

A pressure between my ears.

Each pang is a verse.

Each tremor — a chorus.

---

I collapse in the hallway.

Too weak to move.

Too alert to sleep.

That's when the walls begin singing.

---

> "You never meant to be famous."

"You wanted to be heard."

"Now they listen… but don't understand."

"Now you speak… but there's nothing left."

---

The floorboards respond:

> "Eat your words."

---

I press my ear to the floor.

Hear a heartbeat.

It's not mine.

It's faster.

Louder.

A kick drum.

---

Suddenly, I'm on stage.

Or maybe just imagining it.

Lights blind me.

The crowd is silent.

But I hear music.

Coming from inside me.

Not vocal.

Visceral.

---

A spotlight drops.

It's him.

But he's not holding a guitar.

He's holding a plate.

And on it —

our first verse together.

Still raw.

Still bleeding.

He offers it.

> "Sing it or starve."

---

I reach for it.

My hands tremble.

But before I can touch it,

the lights cut out.

And I wake up —

On the floor.

In the kitchen.

Mouth full of napkins.

---

Each napkin has a different lyric.

---

LYRIC SCRAP #2 – soaked in ink

> "I loved you in lowercase

So the world wouldn't notice."

"But you capitalized my goodbye."

---

LYRIC SCRAP #3 – smells like cinnamon

> "My silence was soft

Until your voice broke it like glass."

"Now every echo tastes like pain."

---

I try to hum.

Nothing comes out.

I try to cry.

Only dust.

---

I grab a pen.

I write the same line

ten times

on my forearm.

> "He was the last song I ate."

The ink enters the skin.

Becomes warm.

Becomes real.

---

I crawl to the recording booth.

Hit record.

No lyrics.

No plan.

Just breathing.

Heavy.

Starved.

Sacred.

---

> "This is my hunger."

"This is how I sound when I'm empty."

And for once —

the silence listens back.

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