ADELINE'S POV
It's been two days since Veronica killed Colton's sister. Two days since I haven't seen Colton's face. I have no idea what Veronica did to him but I know he must be dead. Two days since I had to watch that disgusting scene and I have not been able to take the image out of my head. It all feels like a dream, a dream I want to wake up from as soon as possible. These past few days, I kept thinking about Dante and Liam and my parents. My parents haven't seen me in a long while and I wonder how they're doing. I wonder if they're even thinking about me but if they aren't then that is probably a good thing.
They got all the money the needed from Adrian and maybe even more. They probably think I am somewhere traveling the world with the fiancé they forced me to be with. The same fiancé who ruined my life. If only they knew how wrong they were from the very beginning. If only they knew they were only signing their daughter's death sentence. I wonder if they would have even loved me enough to care that Adrian was a bad person.
I know my parents have always worried about business more than they have worried about their own daughter. I always knew succeeding in life and expanding their company has always been their greatest wish. They neglected me so much that even the tiniest bit of attention I got from them growing up, I cherished it. I cherished them. I just wonder if they cherish me too.
I think about Dante and how I met him. How he seemed to interested in me and once I laid my eyes on him, I knew for a fact that he was the type of man every girl would scramble to be with. I was attracted to him and although I was pretty insecure and still hurt from what my ex, Dain did to me, he made me forget.
I am still so angry with him for not warning me about Adria. For just letting me walk into his den, even though he knew so well how dangerous it would be. I feel like things would have been a lot better if I knew what I was getting myself into, but he did and he didn't tell me anything. I would have been more careful. This would have never happened to me and Naomi would have never gotten kidnapped.
I think about how much I loved Dante in such a short period of time because he was so intentional with me. He gave me everything I dreamed of having in a relationship. I have no doubt he loved me to but he made such a big mistake. I don't hate him but I don't think I can ever forgive him for all what has happened to me in here. I know he must be hurting knowing that he can't save me. Knowing that all his efforts are going to waste, but I don't know if I can ever be the same person again.
I don't know if I can ever be the same Adeline I was. Sometimes I don't even remember my name. Sometimes I don't even remember who I was before I was brought to erotica. This place has taken everything away from me but at the same time it has changed and morphed me into something else.
I will be sold off to Arthur soon and I will have a different life with him for God knows how long. I have accepted that Adeline is dead and I am Angel now. I thought this place would never break me. I thought I would always fight but I was wrong. I was so wrong because I had no idea where I actually was until it all dawned on me. I had no idea how evil humans could be.
I don't know what will happen to Naomi and I don't even think I want to know. I can't help her anyways. I can't help anyone. How can I hope to help her when I can't even help myself? How can I hope to save her when I have no way of saving my own self.
I wanted so much to believe that we would find our way out of here but there is a reason Veronica hasn't been caught all these years. There is a recon erotica hasn't been found out by the outside world and that's because these people are good at what they do no matter how evil they are. Of course, they don't want to get caught so they have taken every precaution necessary so that they don't and I was stupid for having hope. Stupid for thinking I could save Naomi and Della and Silver. I was so stupid.
Della was right for staying away from me because I would have only put her in danger, just like how I put Colton in danger and now his sister is dead and he probably is too and I am all alone. I have no choice now.
After hat I have witnessed in this place I would be foolish to still think I have fighting chance. The best thing to do right now would be to accept anything that comes my way. I can't fight anymore. I have none left in me. I can't lose any more than I have already, I just can't.
The funny thing is as much as I hate this place, and as much as I am not certain if I will be able to live with the trauma, I am still scared of dying and I am still in denial. Denial about the fact that this is my life now and there is nothing I can do about it.
When Arthur takes me to wherever he plans to, I will give him what he wants. I will be what Veronica has trained me to be all these months. That is what will keep me alive. I don't know what will happen to Naomi, or Della or Silver or Dante or Liam or my parents. I can't worry about that anymore because I can't do a fucking thing about it. I can only worry about my own survival now and as much as that sounds selfish, that is all I have.
I now understand why the girls here act the way they do. They just want to survive and now I am in the same hole as them. I can understand their experiences now. Survival is my top priority now. Veronica won, Adrian won and it is about time I came to term with that reality.