In a white void a lone soul floats around the inner thrusts of this soul are filled with Narcissis. Well that's what I've heard but you the reader have to find out if it's tru. Internal thoughts of this soul: Fist things fist I'm not a dumba*s I think quite a bit actually so let's get this straight where am I So from what I see I'm dead want to know how well truck kun and a crazy bitch or bitchs forgot. So where am I why am I talking to myself At this moment the soul sees a figure dressed in a white suit as the figure says welcome my child in a welcoming excited voice,but the soul immediately shouts shut the fuck up you lying motherfu- Silenced with a wave of the figures hand the soul is unable to speak anymore. Wait was I speaking the perspective changes as the figures tells the soul "In fact you where not I'm in your mind take it how you humans want what I say be getting twisted more that a hoe in a factory full of men." And at that moment a nice couch appears behind the figure as they sit down in the rather comfortable looking couch as a glass of whisky appears in there hand as they get comfortable the soul finally calmed down from it's little rant asks so who are you At that moment the glass of whisky in the white suited figures and disappears as a wide grin spreads across the figure's face and it says "My name is لا شئ or is that your new name." The figure puts there hand up to there chin slightly turning there head as if contemplating something then they say I forgot I don't have one.
Then the white figure I will now call Fuck off or just Off sits back and relaxes as the soul says "so what are you You didn't answer my question what are you But then the figure casually says I'm Death or am I is Death a species did I answer your question or did you ever even truly ask the question the figure smiled a devilsh smirk as it spoke "that's right you can't truly speak can you your DEAD! A soul with nothing no family no friends no life no hobbies how do you even know if what aim saying it true oh wait I took your memory's!
The figure cluches there belly as they laugh there mouth expand far larger than any humans could as the soul is there it stairs unblinking as it says you lied I still have my memory's I wasn't a loser like you make it out to be! But hey got to let the pathetic piece of existence god reject you are have some kind of win right Oh wait you can't because you don't exist. At that moment the laughter of Off stopped immediately as the soul started to feel a tairing pain it tried to scream but of course it couldn't as Off said in eraly cheerful voice "Watch it mortal your dead and you know something I could send you back to your world right now force you to forever be in your roting corpse eternally sufuring decay as you feel your very flesh rot and your bones begin to be degrade. But of course I'd get in trouble by who let's see there God, Zeus, a bitch named Athe- I'm a shut up before I get jumped agai. Anyway yeah the multiverse theory was somewhat right there's not just multiverse's timelines and universe's there's existences realms of existence different dimensions of course different realities etc. If you think or thought it it's already been existing.
Off is now cross legged head resting in the palm of his hand as he explains "so what you just did was insult the person in charge of your soul the pain you felt wasn't from me. To be clear it was from your soul beating itself, sort of like those military army guards from that show called I think Baki or something like that. So anyway I'm responsible for you until you leave so I'll somewhat try to make this simple.
Oh your still suffering my apologies and at that moment the soul stopped feeling the pain as it was granted a physical form it was shown to be a male in a regular T-shirt and sweat pants as it could finally speak It said "Fuck you you old piece of sh- but at that moment a cucumber appeared in its mouth as Off said your name is now New dead ass that's your new name. Off started laughing again but more of a mocking laugh now as New pulled the di- cough my mistake "cucumber"out of his mouth as he said fuck off as he used his new hands to put up the the middle finger or better known as cough fuck you sign. But then Off said you want to fuck me you know that gay as fuck if I turn into a boy then you where sucking on that cucumber like a dick you had to have experience! And at that moment it went dead silent as New just staired at Off and attempted to self delete to not deal with this dumbass of a god or whatever it is. But of course it failed as Off said "Calm down is not that serious calm down." Then a comfortable looking chair appeared behind New as it slid forward and scooped him up as a weel appeared with different world names on it like Naruto, LOTM ps I'm to lazy to finish it but great work, Scream, Dan Da Dan Dexter and many more as off got up of the couch and explained.
Off: This is a week if you don't like it boo hoo fuck up for you because you could be in a dich on a rod instrument of with me now let's get this straight you a brat of a soul. Technically I could send you to AOT with no system or as I here now a days golden finger or cheat that actually sounds nice but anyway where you want to go Off said as he casually spun the massive weel then he said you guess where your going you get it right you a prize a magical item very good for things. And as New heard this he looked suspiciously at Off then randomly guessed Alice in Borderland and at that moment the weel instantly stoped as it landed on Alice in Borderland as Off says look at you you got it right! New: Bullshit! I had 1 prolly less in fucking infinity of guessing the right world at that moment Off smiled and said details so unimportant guess what you won at that moment a gain um well how can I put this in a way I won't suffer hmm a female happy toy appears as all of News clothes disappeared except for his boxers as Off sat down on his couch and the weel disappeared as Off said "your a dumbass whenever you said was the world you where going to and your dumb ass chose that one your fucked both ways ha ha ha!" Anyway if you sit on that above average dick toy I'll give you a cheat golden finger wherever it's called and at that moment New was sweeting bullets thinking about how gay that would be and how his street cred may not ever recover even if he was dead he still had his pride from in the hood but then Off said "If you don't go on that one I'll put you on mine." As Off said this a massive dick bigger than that toy ever could be as New asked "What the fuck So let me get this straight your still pissed that I hit a sor spot so you strip me and tell me a boy to sit on that dick toy? Really naw kill my ass I ant getting my ass hole stretched more that a bitch stuck in a wall with signs saying free hole ha ha ha I really don't need a golden finger it's not worth it to do this shit."
Hers that second version but it's more refined
White Void – Timeless]
In an endless white void, a lone soul floats — weightless, restless, and, allegedly, narcissistic.
That's what I've heard anyway. But you, the reader, get to decide if that's true.
Soul's Thoughts:
First things first — I'm not a dumbass.I actually think a lot.So let's get this straight:Where the hell am I?From what I see… I'm dead.Want to know how?Truck-kun, and a crazy bitch or bitchs with no chill. Don't ask. I forgot most of it anyway.
Just as the soul tries to get a grip, a figure appears, dressed in a crisp white suit — glowing, smiling too hard. They open their arms like some knock-off deity.
"Welcome, my child—"
"Shut the fuck up, you lying motherfu—"
Silence.A wave of the figure's hand cuts off the soul mid-sentence.
Wait… was I even speaking out loud?
"No," the figure says, tilting their head. "You weren't. I'm just in your mind. Interpret that however you like."
Their voice slithers through the air like sarcasm given form. "Humans twist everything. Like a hoe in a factory full of dudes."
Out of nowhere, a velvet couch materializes behind the figure, and they fall onto it with the ease of a god who's done this a thousand times. A glass of whiskey appears in their hand.
The soul floats there, fuming in silence until curiosity gets the better of him."So... who are you?"
The figure grins. Their eyes gleam unnaturally."it's rude to ask someone else what they are without intruding yourself first but my name is... لا شئ."They pause."Or maybe that's your new name. I forgot — I don't really have one."
The soul stares. "I'm calling you 'Off.' Short for 'Fuck Off.'"
"Works for me," says Off, sipping there drink.
"So what are you? A god? Demon? What?"
Off shrugs. "I'm Death. Or maybe not. Maybe Death is a species. Maybe I'm a metaphor. Did I answer your question? Did you even trull ask one? Of course not!"
The soul blinks. This guy — or whatever he is — is offhis rocker." The soul thinks.
Off slowly leans forward. "Here's the truth: You're dead. A soul with nothing. No family, no friends, no hobbies, not even decent porn history. How do you even know I'm not lying? Oh wait—"
He taps his temple. "—Oh wait you don't I took your memories."
He laughs. Hard. As his jaw distorts into something monstrous, stretching like a cartoon. The soul stares, With an expression conveying really..
"I'm not a loser!" the soul yells. "I had a life you bitch made motherfuckeryou lied I still have my memory's and I wasn't the god dame loser you make me out to be! But hey got to let the pathetic piece of existence god reject you are have some kind of win right Oh wait you can't because you don't fucking exist
"You had a life," Off says mockingly. "Now you're just a stray fart floating through reality."
Then pain hits. Like knives digging into the soul's very essence.
"You insulted the one in charge of your existence," Off explains calmly. "And that pain? Not from me. From your own soul beating itself up. Ever seen Baki?"
The soul twitches.
Off sighs and snaps his fingers. "Alright, enough torture. Here—have a body."
A form appears — male, T-shirt, sweatpants. Human again. He gasps, relieved to finally speak again.
"Fuck you, you old piece of—!"
POOF. A cucumber appears in his mouth.
"Your name is now 'New,'" Off says smugly. "Deadass. That's your new name."
New pulls the cucumber out and growls, "Fuck. Off."
Off grins wider. "You want to fuck me? That's gay as hell. Especially after the way you sucked that cucumber. Got experience, huh?"
New glares. "I'd rather self-delete than deal with your dumbass."
He tries. Nothing happens.
"Relax," Off says. "Not that serious."
A plush recliner pops up behind New and scoops him in. Then, with a snap, a giant spinning wheel appears, labeled with hundreds of worlds:Naruto, Lord of the Mysteries, Scream, Dan Da Dan, Dexter,and many more.
"This is the Wheel of Fate," Off declares. "Your next life. Randomized. Boohoo if you don't like it."
He spins the wheel.
"Guess where you're going."
New eyes the wheel, shrugs, and mutters, "Alice in Borderland?"
DING.The wheel stops. Right on it.
New blinks. "Bullshit."
"Eh, details. Guess what? You won a prize."Off claps his hands.
A... "toy" appears. For adults. Female-style.
New's clothes vanish, leaving him in boxers.
Off lounges again. "If you sit on that thing, you get a cheat. A golden finger, whatever you Isekai nerds call it."
New starts sweating. "Nah, man. That's gay as hell. I still got pride—dead or not."
"If you don't," Off says, "you get mine."He stands. A massive, horrifying... you get the idea.
New freaks. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?! You're that mad I called you out, so now you're trying to violate me with a Super Mario Bros. boss-level dildo?!"
He points at the toy. "I'd rather go to Alice in Borderland raw than let my ass get clapped in limbo."
Off laughs. "Fair enough. No cheat for you. Enjoy Borderland, dumbass."