- It can be dangerous,' Cersei, who seems to have truly loved and cared for her eldest son, said at once.
— In company with the best sword of the kingdom? - I added as much sarcasm as possible. - If Sir Jaime cannot protect me, no one can. Don't worry, mother, everything will be fine.
Jaime was clearly surprised by my desire to «walk». If he knew that I had already spent years in the void - he would not be so surprised. Knowing Tyrion, it was safe to say that he was either in a tavern or in a brothel. Or, most likely, drinking in the company of whores. And the place where you can drink and fuck someone, I was interested in first.
- I think I know where Tyrion, my prince, has shared his thoughts with me, Jaime - I don't think you want to be in a place like this...
Great powers, why are they so stubborn and incomprehensible? A little more and I will tell them openly about my intentions. And why do they both want to talk me out of it so badly? But that's right, Joffrey didn't like walking among the commoners before. Jaime and Cersei do not even realize that for the new Joffrey they are no better than the other «commoners».
- Sir Jaime, I interrupted my uncle, I appreciate your concern, but I've already decided.
- As you wish, bowed the knight.
Without wasting any more time, he went beyond the walls of the castle to the village nearest to Winterfell. And I followed him. Richly adorned purple cloak, with a nice fur cape, crawling through the mud and horse shit, soiling itself for every step I take.
It didn't look very majestic and I just dropped my cloak, throwing it at the nearest servant. Of course, it was cold in the North, but my magic allowed me to withstand even the lowest temperatures.
As I had hoped, Jaime came to the brothel. Clinging to a knighted man, who looked hunchbacked and unrestrained, Lannister simply pushed away and moved towards one of the doors, behind which the laughter of the woman and the man, apparently Tyrion, was heard.
- Are you the owner of this establishment? I asked while Jaime was busy with his brother.
- I, Your Grace, a man fell even lower.
- So bring your women here! Or don't you know how to welcome guests?
Yes, in a normal situation I would have shagged whores that I fucked probably the whole North. But I stayed too long to be such a stickler. Besides, hardly any of the noble virgins would agree to share a bed with me without subsequent marriage - the morals and morality of the locals were very different in this respect from the Forest Country.
Within a second there were five beautiful women standing in front of me, all young and slim. Apparently, the brothel owner did not insult me, taking out bad goods under my eyes. Clever on his part.
- Which do you choose, my prince? - asked a man whose name I wasn't even interested in.
-Everyone. And bring the wine, best you got.
The girls, laughing wildly, almost jumped into the nearest unoccupied room, dragging me behind them. And I must admit, I liked their actions. They clearly knew how to behave. Or it's just my standard during the time spent in the void.
- Prince? - I turned to the surprised Jaime.
He stood in the doorway of that room where Tyrion was laughing, and looked at me with confusion and surprise. Well, before Joffrey was not at all interested in the opposite sex, preferring to drown his sadistic tendencies, annoying others. Understandably, the uncle did not expect to see his nephew going to bed in the company of whores.
I gave Jamie the same look of incomprehension and bewilderment, then closed the door behind me. I had plenty of time before the Starks' evening feast to celebrate the arrival of the royal family. In the meantime, I should have reduced my more primitive hunger to this momentous event.
Going forward, I will say that the whores were worth every coin spent on them.
***
Feast at the Starks was quite decent. Not as cheerful as Dragomir liked, when the wine on the floor spilled less than the blood, but I still liked it here. The music was played on some unintelligible either lute, or arphah, or harp. On tables stood a whole mountain of delicious food and a whole sea of wine. People sang, talked loudly and joked, in general, were relaxing with all their souls.
And I liked the atmosphere.
King Robert, by the way, did not limit himself at all to the rules of decency adopted by the locals; he poured his hands on wine, and the women were not afraid to touch directly in front of their wife, who watched it with her teeth. Lord Stark behaved much more modestly, although he was the master here. The rest of the high-born children and family members behaved similarly more or less decently. Unless Jon Snow wasn't there, Lady Stark chased him away from the table.
Only I stood out from the crowd of snobs. Having smelled and tasted food again for many years, I had the feeling that the brakes were off: I wasn't just eating or stuffing my belly, I was eating naturally, shoving into myself an incredible amount of food and wine. And I enjoyed every bit of it. I understand that from the outside I did not look very nice, and my behavior in local society was unequivocally condemned... But cursed! I spent many years on the hand of a Viking, the norm for which was to drink at a party, after going to fuck my concubines in order of their age, and then return to the table and continue to feast! And this is only in the first hour! But the feast of the Lord never lasted less than three days.
Add to this long period of my forced abstinence, and you will understand why now, being at a feast, I did not restrain my low impulses. Besides, the cooks of the Starks cooked exceptionally well; it would be a sin not to saturate themselves with their labor
My ignorance of the measure in food and wine did not go unnoticed. Cersei had no nerves and she got up from her seat to approach me:
— Joffrey, what's the matter with you? - she hissed, though she could speak with all her voice; no one would hear us in the noise anyway. - You act like a mountain savage!
- I am hungry, mother,' I replied with my mouth full of food, and the Queen began to complain again.
- Princes don't behave like that! You're a disgrace to us all!
- But that's how kings behave, I nodded to Robert, who was just tapping some girl's breast, and I'm the future king.
- Stop acting like a dirty pig! - Cersei is even slightly flushed with anger. - You are the heir to the crown!
This woman started to annoy me. Damn, I forgot how hard it is to have parents who tell you what to do. Or did I never know that? Whatever it was, no one's spoken to me like that in a long time. How it would be just one blow to break her neck, but it will surely spoil the holiday.
— Mother, I can decide how to behave myself. If you want to discuss it so much, let's do it later, like tomorrow. This is definitely not the right time.
Cersei was ready to say something else, but she refrained. Blazing with righteous wrath, he returned in silence to his place, from time to time throwing unhappy looks at me.
Funny woman. I'll have a serious talk with her tomorrow.
So far my attention demands the second roast pig and I do not remember what an amphora with wine! Only this time I was interrupted again.
— I confess, I was quite surprised, dear nephew, when I learned that it was you who made the five whores scream literally behind me on the wall - to my right on the bench Бес with the cup Is my bad influence really making you pay attention to women?
-You're not the first person who's decided to express their displeasure with me.
- Oh, but I'm not at all dissatisfied, niece! I'm almost proud to think that somehow helped you become a real man.
- If you find me a woman for the night who's more polite than those whores, then you'll make me a man, Uncle.
— Why search? Any of the servants of the Starks or the Lannisters would be honored to warm your bed. You are a prince, so take advantage of this title.
It's a good idea. How come I didn't think of it myself? True, the castle was full of servants for every taste: thin and thick, tall and short, old and young. No one will deny the crown prince. You should have remembered them before I went to the brothel, and you wouldn't have had to go through your squeamishness.
I took a fresh look at the dwarf sitting next to me.
- Thank you for the advice, Uncle,' I replied seriously, filling his cup with wine, 'it's really good.
— Always happy to serve! Call anytime. As for women and wine - here I am the best, - Tyrion spoke with such an intonation that it was not clear whether he joked or his words are serious. - Speaking of women. I couldn't help but notice the anger with which my dearest sister left your table, nephew. Why did you piss your mother off?
Before I answered, I drank a whole glass of wine. The alcohol burned my throat and I enjoyed the warmth pouring down Joffrey's stomach.
- She wanted me to be more careful at the table and moderate in food and wine.
- What a horror, pretended the Imp to be afraid of, it is a real blasphemy to neglect the efforts of Lord Stark to arrange this feast and to ignore such good wine and food.
- And you're a hedonist, uncle - that's one of the few words I remember from my earliest, earliest life in the mortal body.
- I'm not familiar with that word, but if it means anything bad, it's not me.
— The hedonist is a person for whom pleasure is the greatest good and the only value, and everything else in life is just a tool to get that pleasure. There is a whole philosophical teaching dedicated to this.
— What a good teaching. And how strange it was that I had not heard of him before, when I thought I was a well-read man - Tyrion looked at me with suspicion, as though doubting or laughing at him.— But if it really exists, I will be a true supporter of it. But enough about me, even though it is extremely fascinating. Let's talk about you, nephew. You're not behaving as usual. At the moment you are more like your father than ever before.
I did not think that my behavior would be without questions. However, me and Joffrey have completely different characters. Someone would have noticed, because even if I tried to hide my true identity, the mortals around are not fools and still something would notice. And then my behavior would be much more worrying than it is now.
P.S from author and translator
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