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I Just Wanted a Quiet Life... So Why Am I an Uma Musume Trainer?!

DaoistRoeoNQ
28
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 28 chs / week.
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Synopsis
“The world is always wrong.” After surviving high school with my cynical wit and a complete lack of romantic progress, I—Hikigaya Hachiman was ready to live a peaceful, uneventful life. No youth, no drama, no forced social interaction. That dream came to a crashing halt when I somehow woke up in a world where horse girls—yes, literal girls with horse ears and tails—race professionally while chasing their dreams. And apparently… I’m now their trainer. Me. The guy whose idea of teamwork is "doing everything myself to avoid dealing with people." Special Week smiles at me like I’m her hero. Tokai Teio asks for advice like I have wisdom. Mejiro McQueen demands a training plan like I know what I’m doing. Spoiler: I don’t. But every race pulls me deeper. Every tear, every laugh, every finish line crossed… I start to understand these girls. Maybe... just maybe... This world isn’t as wrong as I thought. A loner, a realist, and a former Service Club ghost becomes the heart of a new team. This is the story of how I, Hikigaya Hachiman, became the most reluctant—and possibly the most effective—Uma Musume trainer this world has ever seen.
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Chapter 1 - Prologue

It's been a long road. Really long. The exams were a nightmare, a gauntlet of trials, but I've finally made it—I'm a trainer now. Never planned on this, but I owe it to that person. Gotta pay it forward, right? Still, I'm uneasy. Will any Uma Musume accept a guy who looks like me?

Lost in thought, I've arrived. This is Tressen Academy—officially the Japan Uma Musume Training Center Academy. Among training facilities nationwide, this one's the cutting-edge, largest-scale campus, doubling as a middle-high school. I've skimmed brochures for other Tressen Academies, but this one in Fuchu City, Tokyo, is on another level. Top-notch facilities, insane size—perfect for Uma Musume.

"Alright, no time to dawdle," I mutter. "Gotta find my Uma Musume. The track's this way."

There they are—a ton of Uma Musume. Makes sense. Some train here on the track, others in the indoor gym. Finding a good one takes a sharp eye, a knack for spotting potential. Might as well seize the chance and time some, even if they're already taken.

"Yup, having a trainer really boosts their game," I note, watching their form.

"Excuse me," a voice interrupts. "Are you a new trainer?"

I turn. "Uh, yeah, that's me…"

"I thought so. You're an unfamiliar face, so I had to say hi. I'm Symboli Rudolf, student council president of Tressen Academy. If you need help, don't hesitate to ask."

"Uh, I'm Hachiman Hikigaya. Nice to meet you," I say, catching myself before sounding too casual.

"Fumu, Trainer Hikigaya, huh? Looking forward to working with you. No need for formalities with me. Quick question: you were timing them just now. Why?"

"Curiosity," I shrug. "Just wanted to see what trained Uma Musume are like."

"I see… But some trainers frown on that. You might want to ease up on the stopwatch."

Noted. Flashing a stopwatch recklessly could stir trouble. I'll be more discreet.

"You probably know this," Rudolf continues, "but this academy is a crucible of competition. Everyone's grinding, experimenting, and charging toward the top like lions. I hope you find an Uma Musume who suits you."

"Does that mean you'd say yes if I scouted you?" I ask, half-joking.

"Pfft!" Rudolf bursts out laughing, then catches herself. "Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. I just didn't expect such a bold pitch. Alright, give me a compelling reason to join you, and I'll consider it."

A test, huh? I don't know enough about her strengths yet. Scouting her now would be a shot in the dark.

"Nah, I don't have enough info," I admit. "I don't know you, and you don't know me. Scouting you now would be pointless."

"Fumu, cautious, aren't you? I like that better than trainers who charge in blindly. Even if we don't team up, I think we'll get along."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I meant it as one, but you're not exactly the accepting type, are you?"

"President, there you are," another voice cuts in. "Who's this?"

"Meet Trainer Hikigaya, starting as a new trainer today," Rudolf says. "Hikigaya, this is Air Groove, student council vice president and my right-hand woman."

"Air Groove, huh? I'm Hachiman Hikigaya. Nice to meet you."

"Hmph," Air Groove replies. "Using honorifics with a stranger? You've got a bit more class than the average trainer. I'm Air Groove. Don't expect me to play nice, and drop the formal talk. Speak like you normally do."

Oof, she's got an edge. Guess Uma Musume come in all flavors.

"Fine by me," I say. "Weren't you looking for Rudolf?"

"Gah! Right," Air Groove says, turning to Rudolf. "President, about the mock race for unassigned Uma Musume—tomorrow still good? We can reschedule if needed."

"No need," Rudolf replies. "Besides, we've got a trainer right here for that purpose. Changing the date wouldn't do, would it?"

Makes sense. You can't scout without seeing them run. Gotta watch closely.

"So, there you go," Rudolf says. "Tomorrow's the mock race for unassigned Uma Musume. You should come. You might find one who catches your eye."

"I'll be there. Won't even dare blink."

"Better sharpen those eyes and scout wisely," Air Groove adds.

"What if I said I wanted to scout you?"

"I'd judge if you're worthy," she fires back. "Right now, I've got zero reason to pick you."

"Because I know nothing about your achievements, personality, training methods, or goals?"

Both look stunned. Did I say something weird? It's just common sense—nobody knows anything about a stranger. Knowing someone that fast would be creepy.

"You've got a clear read on yourself," Rudolf says, then pauses. "No, that sounded condescending. My apologies."

"It's fine. An unknown trainer's just that—unknown."

Rudolf chuckles. "Air Groove, I think we've been outdone. This guy might be a better trainer than we thought."

"Hmph," Air Groove says. "I'll give him points for self-awareness and not being overconfident."

"You're not exactly the open type either," Rudolf teases. "Well, Trainer Hikigaya, we'll see you tomorrow. I hope the mock race is fruitful for you."

"Thanks."

With that, Symboli Rudolf and Air Groove walk off. Today's the start, huh? My life as a trainer begins here.

"Alright, first up: tomorrow's mock race," I resolve.