I knew it the moment i woke up that morning.
I couldn't do it anymore.
The interviews.
The damage control.
The endless apologies that no one wanted to hear.
They didn't care what i said.
They never would.
And if i stayed here, I was going to lose my mind.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand.
I didn't even look at it.
The notifications would be the same:
Homewrecker.
Cancel her.
So fake.
I sat up slowly, silk sheets falling around me, and ran a hand through my hair.
Enough.
—
By noon i was packed.
Not with pajamas and sweatshirts.
I wasn't going to hide.
My suitcase held tailored coats, designer boots, cashmere sweaters.
Black sunglasses.
Red lipstick.
My best perfume.
Even on vacation, especially on vacation—I would be Margaux Imperial.
Because i didn't know how to be anyone else.
Lucas tried to talk me out of it.
"You're really leaving?"
I gave him a long look.
"Lucas, if i stay, I'll go insane."
He opened his mouth, then shut it.
Finally he just hugged me.
"Text me when you land."
I nodded.
I flew first class to Seoul that night.
Champagne i barely sipped.
Noise-canceling headphones.
Halfhearted attempt to sleep.
—
When we landed in the early morning, I stepped into the arrival hall in a long black coat and oversized sunglasses.
No one cared who i was here.
They barely glanced at me.
It was exactly what i wanted.
I rented an apartment in Gangnam.
Two bedrooms, minimalist white walls, floor-to-ceiling windows with views of the city lights.
Expensive, yes.
But peaceful.
I sat on the balcony the first night, legs crossed, hair in a low chignon, glass of wine in hand, and just let the cold air sting my face.
Breathing.
Finally.
I didn't tell many people where i was.
My parents knew.
Lucas knew.
My manager was furious.
But i didn't care.
A few days in, I noticed the giant screen near COEX flashing with an ad.
SOLSTICE: THE ECLIPSE TOUR – FINAL SEOUL SHOW.
My heart thumped.
I'd streamed their songs on the way to shoots.
Watched their dramas in the hair and makeup chair.
More than once, I'd cried to their ballads on lonely nights in hotel rooms.
I didn't even hesitate.
I opened the ticketing app.
VIP section.
Best available seat.
Paid immediately.
—
I went shopping the next day.
A black wool coat that fell perfectly to my ankles.
A cream turtleneck.
Slim trousers.
Boots with a quiet but unmistakable designer logo.
And, yes—
A SOLSTICE light stick.
Because if i was going, I was going properly.
—
When concert night came, I got ready the way I always did.
Hair blown out sleek.
Makeup perfect.
A dark red lip for confidence.
Pearl earrings.
I wasn't going to slum it just because I was on "vacation."
I still looked like Margaux Imperial.
But a Margaux Imperial who'd decided she was going to have fun tonight.
I slipped into the venue with my VIP ticket.
Security checked me with polite nods.
No double-takes.
No gasps.
No recognition.
Perfect.
Inside, the stadium was alive.
Fans were chanting.
Light sticks glowed like neon ocean waves.
Screens flashed SOLSTICE's dramatic teasers, each member's face getting screamed at.
My seat was excellent.
Front but a little to the side.
Good view of the entire stage.
I sat down and looked around.
No one cared who i was.
No one was watching me.
Just another fan here for the show.
When the opening VCR rolled and the lights cut out, I felt my pulse jump.
The crowd roared.
I actually giggled.
Like a teenager.
I lifted my own light stick, white and gold, the limited-edition one i'd paid an embarrassing price for.
And when they appeared onstage, I screamed too.
Not politely.
Not in a controlled, "artista sa Pinas" kind of way.
But with my full lungs.
"AHHH SOLSTICE!!"
I laughed at myself as i did it.
I didn't even care.
They launched into the first song, and i found myself shouting lyrics in broken Hangul, reading off my phone.
I didn't know half the words.
My pronunciation was embarrassing.
But i didn't care.
Everyone else was just as loud.
I was just another face in the light stick sea.
Ethan Kim.
Center of the group.
Ridiculously good-looking even on the screen.
Ten times worse, no, better, in person.
Sharp jaw.
Silver hair tonight.
Black eyeliner.
When he did his solo verse, he glanced at our section.
Eyes scanning.
Confident.
Playful.
For one impossible moment—
He looked right at me.
Our eyes met.
I didn't move.
He didn't either.
Just the faintest quirk at the corner of his mouth.
And then he turned away, dancing back to center.
My heart was pounding so hard i actually laughed.
Pressed a hand to my chest.
God.
I was hopeless.
They kept performing.
Noah Choi doing his insane high notes.
Daniel Han and Isaac Jung hyping the crowd.
Liam Park smirking at the fan cams.
Caleb Lee doing those smooth spins.
Nathan Seo rapping like his life depended on it.
The entire stadium shook with it.
And i was there.
Yelling.
Jumping in place in my expensive boots.
Waving my light stick like it was life support.
They ended with the fan anthem.
People had their arms in the air, swaying.
Chanting the fanchant perfectly.
I got half the words wrong.
Didn't matter.
I was grinning.
Actually, truly grinning.
Near the end, Ethan grabbed his mic and panted into it.
"Seoul, you're always our home. Thank you for being with us. Don't ever think you're alone, okay?"
I swallowed.
Because yeah.
That hit.
I wasn't alone tonight.
—
When the lights went up, people were crying, laughing, hugging.
Trading photo cards.
Taking blurry selfies with smudged makeup.
I stayed in my seat for a moment.
My designer coat draped over my lap.
Light stick resting in my hand.
Breathing.
No one here hated me.
No one knew me.
No one was writing cruel things or dissecting my past.
They didn't care who i was.
I could be whoever i wanted.
Even just… a fan.
And for once—
That was enough.