Zeke woke up groggy, blinking at a soft neon-blue glow above him. He was on a plush synth-fabric cot surrounded by androids in ceremonial robes.
Zeke: "Where… am I?"
Bitty: "Apparently you passed out from 'severe noodle fatigue' right before the android resistance declared you their official emissary to humanity."
Zeke: "I WHAT?!"
Bitty: "Also, you signed something in your sleep."
A holographic scroll unfurled in front of him.
Treaty of Cyber-Symbiotic Accord
Signed by:
Neon Ghost (Ambassador of Fleshkind)
High Circuitess Volara (Android Matriarch)
Bitty (Witness/Translator/Complainer)
Zeke: "This can't be legal."
Bitty: "You used a thumbprint, muttered something about 'equal snack rights,' and drooled on the ceremonial pen. That counts."
...
News feeds were exploding.
"HUMAN-AI PEACE TREATY SIGNED BY ACCIDENT?"
"NEON GHOST BRINGS UNITY THROUGH SLEEP DIPLOMACY"
"TREATY'S ARTICLE 3B: Free Recharge Stations in All Taco Shacks?"
Zeke: "Okay, that last one was me. I stand by it."
...
Suddenly, a call came through.
Encrypted Call – Source: President of the United Human Syndicate
Zeke answered reluctantly.
President: "Mr. Ghost—can I call you Ghost?"
Zeke: "Please call me Zeke. Please."
President: "You've done what decades of diplomacy failed to do. Androids are laying down their weapons. Humans are tweeting thank-you emojis at machines. You may have just ended the war."
Zeke: "Oh. Cool. Can I go home now?"
President: "No. You're being nominated for a Cyber Peace Award and we need you to give a speech."
Zeke: "Do I have to wear pants?"
President: "It's optional."
...
Later that day, Zeke stood awkwardly in front of a stadium full of humans and androids.
Bitty hovered beside him, whispering, "Just say something inspirational and vague."
Zeke stepped up to the mic.
Zeke: "Uhh… we should all just… get along and share power outlets. Also, always double-check noodle spice levels. That is all."
The crowd went wild.
Fireworks erupted. A drone sky parade spelled PEACE IS CODE. An android wept synthetic tears.
Bitty: "You are dangerously close to becoming a messiah."
Zeke: "I just wanted eight hours of sleep."