Zeke stood on the balcony of his new "peace ambassador suite" at the top of Unity Tower, sipping lukewarm bubble tea and glaring at the skyline.
Zeke: "I signed one treaty while unconscious and now I'm a full-time symbol of interspecies harmony. I need a break."
Bitty: "You were gifted 9 vacation passes to the Lunar Pleasure Dome. You've rejected all of them."
Zeke: "The last one exploded when I touched it!"
Bitty: "Symbolic fireworks."
Zeke: "They melted my eyebrows."
...
Eventually, Zeke gave in.
Destination: Planet Oasis-V9
Tagline: "No wars. No worries. All-you-can-eat buffet."
Zeke: "I'm going. Alone. No political figures. No cameras. No rebellion leaders. Just me and a plate of dumplings."
Bitty: "Uploading coordinates and disengaging from public notification—wait. Why is there a signal pinging from deep space?"
Zeke: "Bitty, I swear if this is another fan meetup disguised as a 'spontaneous peace rally'—"
Bitty: "Nope. This one's… uh… extra-galactic."
...
Location: Orbit above Oasis-V9
As Zeke descended, an old relic satellite he'd unknowingly passed near during landing lit up. Dusty, ancient tech from pre-digital Earth. The satellite blinked to life for the first time in centuries.
And it broadcast one thing.
CODE: PRIMACY. TARGET FOUND. ACTIVATING HARVEST PROTOCOL.
Zeke, munching pineapple bao on the beach: "Huh. Why is the sky flickering like a bugged hologram?"
...
Elsewhere, in Deep Space
Three enormous ships shaped like jagged crystals emerged from hyperspace.
Alien AI Hivemind #1: "The Beacon has returned. The Signal Wielder has been located."
Alien AI Hivemind #2: "Our harvest begins."
Alien AI Hivemind #3: "Should we send an envoy or just vaporize him?"
Alien AI Hivemind #2: "This one signed a galactic treaty in his sleep. Proceed cautiously."
...
Back on Oasis-V9
The sky ripped open like torn fabric. Glowing glyphs crackled overhead. Everyone screamed and ran—except Zeke, who was trying to fish a shrimp out of his drink.
Zeke: "Bitty, why is there a space rune floating above my head?"
Bitty: "Uh… yeah. So… remember that treaty? You apparently activated a forgotten Earth-AI failsafe code embedded in the satellite network. You've now been marked as a Prime Cognition Node by a dormant alien AI collective."
Zeke: "What does that even mean?!"
Bitty: "It means… they think you're their messiah."
Zeke: drops shrimp "I JUST WANTED A VACATION!!"
...
From the sky, a beam of light shined down. A voice echoed:
"ZEKIEL OF EARTH. CODE-BEARER. INITIATE UNION."
Zeke: "NO! I will not be union-initiated! I haven't even finished my dumplings!"