Alright. Serious mode ON. But like... the funny serious. You know the vibe.
We were standing there, still a bit emotionally shaken from the whole Inteyvat moment and the fact that Igot punched into another timeline. Again. Honestly, at this point, I should start a punch-card loyalty system. One more uppercut and I get a free coffee.
Anyway, Dainsleif, the man, the myth, the drama king himself, turns to Lumine with that piercing stare of his. Dude looks like he's about to drop the final episode of a Khaenri'ahn soap opera.
"You saw something, didn't you? Can you tell me what it was?"
Lumine, ever the composed queen, nods. Then she explains. Aether's plan. Reviving their homeland. Using that weird sci-fi-meets-magic-meets-trauma machine to cleanse the hilichurls. Restore them. Bring back the fallen.
Me? I'm just over here trying to figure out how a flower survives underground even though Dain already explained it. But okay, moving on.
Dain nods solemnly. "No surprise there. Stubborn as ever."
He continues, and I swear the atmosphere drops like ten degrees. "It appears as if the Abyss Order intends to use this location to cleanse the hilichurls of their curse and restore them to the way they once were... Then they will serve as the foundation for reviving the nation of Khaenri'ah. After all, there can be no nation without its people."
...Damn. That's deep. Like abyss-deep. Like hey-you-dropped-this-philosophy level deep.
So naturally, I had to say something stupid.
"Good idea and all but... yeah, nah. It ain't working," I shrugged. "I mean, that device might make them feel a bit chill, like a spa treatment or something, but it's not fully cleansing them, right?"
Dain turned to me and nodded. A small part of my soul screamed, because Dainsleif acknowledged me without dragging me like a sack of chaos.
"Indeed. No one knows this curse better than I... having lived with it for 500 years," he says, voice low and heavy like he's narrating a tragedy from the top of Mount Doom. "There is no redemption. There is no undoing the curse. Trying to remove it by force will achieve nothing but to inflict further suffering. So make sure you are clear in your mind. You have to tell yourself: They are no longer human. If you cling to false hope and allow yourself to become too emotionally invested, the only way is down. You will end up just like them... mired in hypocrisy."
Then he looks directly at me. Dead serious. No sarcasm. No jokes. Just pure abyssal dad mode.
"Especially you. I understand how you feel, but this is different from the world you see. This is real. Either you kill, or you die."
Gulp.
I clenched my fists. Bowed my head. Couldn't say anything back.
He was right. I did hesitate. The first time I saw those Black Serpent Knights... I saw people. Not enemies. Not monsters. And I froze.
Yeah, Shigeru the class clown. The guy who says the most when he's uncomfortable. The guy who turns serious stuff into jokes because that's easier than dealing with it. That guy. Me.
I didn't want to accept it. That they're gone. That they can't be saved. That this isn't a story where everyone gets a happy ending.
Dain walked forward and tapped my shoulder. Then Lumine's.
"Both of you... Save your strength for something worth saving."
My heart clenched. The guilt? Crushing. But I lifted my head slowly, looked at him dead in the eyes.
"...I understand, brother."
He didn't flinch. Just nodded. Stoic as always.
Then I turned to Lumine. Gave her a small grin. Like, a real one this time.
She was still glaring at me, probably thinking about the uppercut. But she smiled. Nodded.
And Paimon, bless her soul, pumped her tiny fists in the air.
"Let's go, team!!"
That's our Paimon. Emotional anchor. Floating child. Emergency food with feelings.
I took a deep breath. The air still stank of ancient rock, regret, and centuries of sorrow, but at least I could breathe.
Let's go then. To whatever disaster waits ahead.
And maybe, just maybe, this time I won't hesitate.
Alright. Deep breath.
"Time to settle everything." I declared.
I glanced at Dain, gave him the look—y'know, that look—the "we're about to pull some main character shit again" look. My coat flapped dramatically because of course it did. (I totally didn't nudge it slightly with my elbow to get it going. Totally natural.)
"Let's keep Halfdan and your other gang's honor intact, yeah?" I said, casually.
Dain gave this faint smile—like he was both proud and annoyed by my entire existence—and asked, "Can I borrow some of your words again?"
I grinned. You already know the line. The line that makes history.
"Let's do it… like goddamn legends." he added.
Man. That hit different.
We fist-bumped. His cape flapped. My coat flapped. I swear if there was background music, it would've been electric guitars and the sound of a dragon crying somewhere in the distance.
Then—BOOM—Lumine jumped in between us. "Come on, you two," she said with that smile of hers, like she's the only adult here. "Or I'll end this myself."
Honestly? She could.
But c'mon, let a guy pretend he's the hero for once.
Paimon, being the unproblematic goblin she is, zoomed in yelling, "Catch up, you big oafs!"
"RUDE!" I yelled after her.
Dain and I glanced at each other.
Grin.
"Goddamn legends," I muttered. And we moved forward.
We ended up near a cliff, and of course, the view was chef's kiss. Still creepy as fuck. Paimon pointed toward the upside-down city. Still creepy. Still giving me vertigo.
"Hey, hey! You can still see the city from here!" she said.
"Is it just me," I began, "or the more I look at it, that city makes you feel like you're the one upside down? Like my stomach did a backflip."
Lumine ignored me. As usual.
Suddenly, a voice echoed out of nowhere—deep, dark, overly dramatic. Like someone who memorized the whole villain script just to make an entrance.
"Dainsleif… I see your incessant meddling continues… and that you have once again joined forces with Our Highness's kin… and that… Anomaly…"
Hey, that's me!
"Regrettably, I was not in time to control your exit from the network—"
I raised a hand. "Wait—wait, HOLD UP. Y'all have SIGNAL down here?! Bro. I envy you. I can't even load one Reel without the 'retry' button slapping me- well because the only thing installed in my damn phone was Genshin and tools."
Paimon leaned in and whispered, "I think… you're talking about a different type of network."
Lumine facepalmed.
Dain sighed so hard, I swear I heard him age another 50 years.
The Abyss Herald paused. I swear even he was confused.
Dain rolled his eyes. "Forget him. I'm more surprised you dare show your face again. You ran like a coward last time."
I casually added, "To be fair, he did get bodied, though. If I saw Aether again, I'd run too."
The Herald, trying to reboot his dignity, said, "Our Highness's will must be done. All interferences must be removed… whatever the price to pay. This time… the curse that torments our people must be undone… once and for all."
"Yeah, nah," I replied, counting on my fingers. "One, that device isn't enough. Two, Dain said it won't work. Three, we're probably about to beat the absolute shit out of you."
"YOU… YOU ANOMALY!" he roared.
Ooooh, big scary words. I'm shivering.
He charged at me like a freight train hopped up on caffeine and bad decisions. I just calmly coated my arms in Geo, caught his stupid face mid-charge, and yeeted him across the chasm like a crumpled piece of paper.
fwip.
"Man… that idiot. Doesn't he think we've been grinding levels since the last meeting?"
Dain, deadpan as ever, nodded.
"Shall we finish him?" I asked.
Lumine and Dain both nodded like we're in some super-cool anime cutscene.
Cue the beatdown.
Left hook. Right jab. Burst combo. Lumine with the flashy finishing move. Dain doing… Dain things. I may or may not have yelled, "This is for the bad monologue!" during one punch.
Finally, the Abyss Herald screeched his last screech and disappeared like a badly written plot thread.
We stood there. Breathing. Victorious. Radiating main character energy.
"Now that's a wrap," Lumine said, brushing dust off her gloves.
"So uh… what's next?" I asked, hoping someone would say "nap time."
Dain, being the soul-crushing realist he is, muttered, "Go even deeper."
I looked up. I looked down. I looked around.
"Just… how deep is this Chasm in reality?! Are we heading to the planet core next? Are we gonna fight lava slimes? Am I gonna meet the Mole King?!"
Lumine patted my shoulder, said nothing, and kept walking.
Paimon flew beside me, whispering, "Mole King sounds kind of cute."
"You know what's not cute, Paimon? My thighs. THEY HURT. We've been walking since Inazuma!"
Still… we moved. Even deeper.
Like goddamn legends.
***
Alright. So there we were.
Marching forward like badass movie protagonists, our coats and capes flapping dramatically despite the complete absence of wind. (Seriously, is that a setting you unlock after leveling up? Because my coat's been on some anime nonsense lately.)
Anyway—
We walk.
Then we see it.
A portal.
A big, glowing, swirly thing that definitely screams "enter me if you wanna die in the most confusing way possible."
"Aha!" I said, putting a hand on my hip like some kinda scholar discovering a cursed artifact. "A creepy magical doom donut in the middle of nowhere. Classic. I say we turn back, take a nap, maybe re-evaluate life choices in the safety of our very non-deadly teapot."
I was halfway into pulling the teapot out when I felt the grip of doom on the back of my collar.
"Lumine—please—we can talk about this—"
Nope. No talking. Just violent teleportation.
She dragged me in like an angry older sister who found out I snuck into Mondstadt's cathedral with ketchup bottles again. (Long story.)
And then?
WHOOSH.
We land.
And of course, because fate hates me, the first thing we see is some Abyss Lector dude doing…
Something.
Something shady.
With a suspicious glowy device that's humming like it's preparing to destroy the universe or drop the bass at the same time.
"Oh great," I mutter. "Tentacle Face is doing science. That's never good."
The whole ground starts shaking. Air trembles. My spine does a polite little jig of terror.
Paimon screams. Lumine braces. I—
—I do the only logical thing.
"BRACE YOURSELVES FOR BULLSH—!"
BOOOOOOM.
Light EXPLODES like someone cranked the brightness on the universe to 'god mode.'
And there.
In the middle of it all.
Dainsleif.
Down on one knee. Looking like someone just deleted his favorite memory and stepped on his soul. He groans, eyes wide in pain.
"Am I… too late?"
And me?
"HELL NAH!"
Because if anyone's gonna be dramatic and unnecessarily self-sacrificial, it's gonna be me, dammit!
I charge forward, crackling with energy. Geo in one hand. Anemo swirling around me like a very confused leaf blower. Electro dancing on my fingertips because why not go full RGB lighting on this moment?
Geo Spears spiral into form, glittering like divine judgment and overcompensation.
"EAT THIS, YOU DARK-ROBED CALAMARI!"
I throw them.
They fly.
They sparkle.
Then…
BZZZZZT—blocked.
Stupid magical shield.
I stare.
He stares.
We have a full-on awkward eye contact moment.
"I hate you," I mutter.
Then it happens.
Everything slows.
Footsteps echo.
Soft. Steady. Like a cinematic trailer playing in slow-mo.
A figure walks into view.
No.
No. Not him.
Dain gasps. "Halfdan…!"
I stop breathing.
That's him. That's really him.
The man. The myth. The absolute unit.
HALFDAN.
He walks like he's made of destiny. Face calm. Eyes clear. Zero hesitation.
Dain reaches forward. "HALFDAN! DON'T DO IT!"
But the man doesn't even blink.
He smiles.
And jumps.
Straight.
Into.
The device.
BOOM.
A wave of light erupts.
The Lector? YEETED into next week.
The ground? Cracked.
My brain? Broken.
The catastrophe is stopped.
The world doesn't end.
But inside me?
Something does.
He's gone.
Halfdan is gone.
And everyone else is frozen.
Even Lumine. Her lips parted like she wanted to scream but forgot how.
Paimon, for once, says nothing.
Dain collapses to his knees.
And me?
I stare at my fists.
The same fists that should've punched logic into the moment.
The same fists that should've done something.
"…You dumb, glorious bastard," I whisper.
I fall onto my butt. My knees don't even ask for permission.
Because deep down… I've been trying to avoid this. I knew it was coming—I knew—but I still tried to change the course, y'know? Tried to swerve destiny like it was a bad ex showing up at a party. But it still happened.
The catastrophe was avoided.
But to me?
It still happened.
___________________________
End of Chapter 73
Quests Completed:
*Confront the Abyss Herald and disrupt the cleansing ritual.
*Accept the harsh reality of the Abyss curse and the loss of salvation for hilichurls.
*Defeat the Abyss Herald completely (Bro is 0-4 against the gang)
Quest Failed:
*Prevent or intervene in Halfdan's fateful jump into the device.
Rewards:
*+5000 XP each (big boss fight energy)
*Abyssal Core Shard
*+10% resistance to Abyss damage. (Out of spite)
*+1 resolve point
*Geo Spear Barrage (Ultimate): Maxed