Halfdan jumped.
Like, literally jumped into the thing.
Into that cursed contraption, glowing like a million hilichurl rave sticks duct-taped together and cursed by a thousand Abyss Lectors.
Dainsleif, obviously not a fan of spontaneous human combustion, muttered something like, "I thought he would've been turned to ashes in an instant..."
Uh, same, Dain. Same.
But no. Of course not. Because Halfdan is apparently not just a chad, but a soul-resilient giga-chad. The kind that makes you go, "Damn, even your afterlife form has better abs than me."
...Not that I was looking. Shut up.
Anyway, while everyone was having their dramatic breath-holding moment, I was scanning the battlefield. Something didn't sit right. Not just my back from all the running and acrobatics. No, something else...
Where the hell is the Lector?
My eye twitched. I hate this feeling. The same kind I get when I open a pot and the only thing inside is cabbage.
Because I know that bastard hasn't completely vanished. You don't just explode into the wind after all that monologuing and theatrics. No way. That kind of evil needs closure.
So I'm standing there. Channeling my inner NPC guard. Just scanning the battlefield with the same energy as when I lose my keys.
And then—bam. There it is.
Or rather, was.
Impaled. On one of my Geo-Electro-Anemo Experimental Highly Unstable Special Spears (patent pending). Just... there. Like a cursed skewer left at a forgotten barbecue.
"Heh... I thought I didn't get you," I muttered to myself.
That's right. Shigeru: accidental genius. You think I planned to kill the boss that way? Ha! No way! But does it count as a win?
Yes. Yes it does.
We walked toward Halfdan, or, more accurately, toward the spot where Halfdan did his last Olympic dive. The machine? Fried. The air? Slightly less cursed. Paimon? Asking questions, as always.
"So, was the device really shut down now?" she asked.
Dainsleif, who had this "I've aged 300 more years in the last 3 minutes" look, said, "The burning sensation has indeed stopped..."
Burning sensation? Dain, that sounds like something you should see a healer about.
"So we managed to stop the Abyss Order's plan?" Paimon added.
I saw Lumine kneel beside Halfdan's body. Her voice was soft, but it carried: "But... Halfdan... he seems to have breathed his last."
"Let me check," Dain said.
I didn't move. Just a few steps behind them, arms crossed, expression blank. Which was an absolute lie because internally?
I was screaming. Like, full-on internally sobbing-while-spinning-in-a-chaotic-panic kind of screaming.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
I kept trying to avoid this outcome. I really did. We fought, we argued, I threw glowing rocks and yelled like a lunatic, but in the end... it still happened.
The catastrophe was averted. The plan was stopped.
But we lost someone.
And that kind of sucks, y'know?
"Dain must be really upset," Paimon whispered. "Of all the ways to be reunited with one of his former comrades after so long... This is rough..."
She wasn't wrong.
Then Dain stood up slowly and turned around, face unreadable. And before any of us could say anything, it happened.
He appeared.
Not his body. Not his voice.
But his soul.
Halfdan's soul shimmered faintly in the air, like a memory refusing to be erased.
My first thought?
"Oh no. I've inhaled too much elemental energy again. I'm hallucinating. It's happening. I'm gonna start seeing talking onions next."
But no—Lumine saw him too. Dain saw him. Even Paimon gasped.
It was real.
"...Halfdan?" Dain's voice cracked. Like, emotionally cracked. Not like he suddenly became a teenager again.
Halfdan didn't speak at first. Just smiled. Peaceful. Like he wasn't just a glowing ethereal being who technically should be freaking out about being dead.
Silence.
Yeah, you'd think after all the chaos, the explosions, the overly dramatic speeches, the death beams, and all that jazz, we'd be blessed with some golden silence.
But no.
This wasn't peace. This was the heavy kind of silence that wraps around your head like a wet sock. Gross, a bit sad, and definitely making you itch emotionally.
Halfdan saluted. Like, really saluted. Proper, knightly, honorable—he even stood up straight, glowing and all, like a man who still ironed his cape in the afterlife.
"Apologies, Captain Dainsleif, Twilights Sword. Back then... I failed you. I failed to protect our people."
His voice was calm. Too calm.
Dain gritted his teeth. Like that one time I stubbed my toe on a rock and pretended I wasn't crying.
"No," he muttered, clenched fist trembling a little. "For five hundred years, you have faithfully done your duty. To this day... I am proud of you all."
He saluted. A real one. You could feel the weight behind it. Even I couldn't make a joke.
Okay maybe a little.
I mean, I did lean sideways and whisper to Lumine, "Do you think I'd get that same salute if I died stylishly?"
She smacked me. Deserved.
But Halfdan, that guy just smiled—peaceful, calm. Like he finally found his socks after 500 years.
Then he asked it. The question.
"Khaenri'ah... didn't fall, did it? Since you're still here..."
Oh.
Dain looked like someone just took out his soul, stuffed it in a meat grinder, and handed it back with a sad little sticker.
He went quiet. Smiled faintly. "Correct."
Halfdan's smile widened, like the one your grandpa gives when you bring him tea and don't burn the house down. He turned to me.
Looked right into my face. Soul to soul. Whatever glowy remnants he had left. And then he whispered:
"Thank you so much..."
I—I had no words.
I mean, sure, I usually don't have a filter, but in that moment, I had no script. Brain? Offline. Emotions? Buffering.
I clenched my fists and saluted him. Properly.
"You've done well, Khaenri'ahn hero."
With one last smile, Halfdan vanished.
Gone. No respawns. No revival food. Just peace.
Dain stood beside me, watching as the soul of his old comrade disappeared into the abyss of The Chasm. He whispered under his breath, voice barely audible:
"So... No need to revive the homeland..."
It wasn't a question. Just a sigh. A thousand-year sigh.
Paimon, ever the voice of clarification, chimed in with, "That was Halfdan's soul."
Yeah. No kidding, flying encyclopedia.
But Dain nodded like a wise old man, crossed his arms, and said, "More than one kind of strange power exists here. Souls are no strange sight under the circumstances. Still... if you intend to venture deeper in and continue your investigation, you ought to be careful."
I rolled my eyes and threw up both hands. "Come on, Big Bro! Who even wants to go back into this cursed horror house anyway?! I've had enough trauma for a lifetime. We've got ghosts, tentacle smoke, corrupted machines, and at least three types of things I don't even want to categorize! Only idiots who have no regards for their own lives would do that!"
The other three stared at me. Top to bottom.
Lumine blinked. Paimon deadpanned. Even Dain gave me that older brother look. You know the one.
I blinked. "Oh right... I am considered one of those idiots."
Cue collective exhale. Paimon snorted. Lumine giggled. And Dain. HE LAUGHED. I SWEAR HE LAUGHED. Just one huff of air—but it counted.
Paimon, still riding the chuckle wave, floated up and asked, "Are you not coming with us, Dain?"
Dain shook his head like a disappointed but proud older brother who also might be hiding a pulled muscle. "That device took a severe toll on me. It will take some time to recover."
Paimon looked concerned. Like genuinely. Not the dramatic floating-flail kind, the actual little-sister energy kind.
"Oh, right... Well actually, Paimon already knew that. You've clearly been pushing through the pain this whole time."
She floated up to Dain's face and poked his cheek. "You've earned a good rest, Dain! Oooh! You should take a vacation!"
Lumine jumped in immediately. "Right! If you want, you can even stay at our house."
My head jerked. "OUR house?"
Paimon pinched me. "She meant all of us, dummy."
"Oh."
Dain chuckled again. Another huff. Two laughs. Achievement unlocked.
"Vacation, huh? That word has no business being in my vocabulary."
Of course. Captain Edge himself.
"There are more important things that demand my attention," he added. "The 'Loom of Fate' operation is still underway. And I suspect that these amplification devices are connected to that plan."
"Riiiiiight," I said slowly. "That thing again."
Lumine nodded. "Don't worry. We'll be on the lookout. Right, Shigeru?"
I puffed my chest. "Absolutely! Even trying to do something about that with my own team I lured with...uh... bribes and wines and guilt tripping. BUT it's working."
Dain's hand landed on my shoulder. Heavy. Firm. Warm.
He placed his other hand on Lumine's head and smiled just a bit.
"I'll be going for now. You three take care, okay?"
"Right, Big Bro!" I gave him a thumbs-up. "Don't go chasing weird creatures into creepy basements again, okay? Or I'll have to come rescue you and I charge overtime now."
He nodded. Then walked off like a cool NPC with the best side quest you'll never finish.
And just like that, it was just us again. Me. Lumine. Paimon. And the eternal void known as The Chasm.
I clapped my hands together. "Welp! That's a wrap, right?"
Paimon nodded. "Right... The commission about the unusual actions of Hilichurls... I think we have enough to report to the guild and the miners."
She tilted her head. "But this is all way too complicated for regular people to understand!"
I sighed dramatically. "Let their brains be fried. They can deal with that. What I need right now is a hot meal, three blankets, and a nap in a bed that doesn't feel cursed."
Paimon floated beside me. "Let's get out of here before The Chasm changes its mind and sends another weird creature after us."
"Agreed. One more mutated weirdo and I'm switching careers."
Lumine raised a brow. "To what?"
"Professional hotpot critic. Or sleepy shrine keeper. Something non-life-threatening."
And with that, we turned around. Back toward the path we came from.
Away from fading souls, broken machines, and ghostly regrets.
Step by step.
Toward the surface. Toward the light.
Toward the next ridiculous adventure.
***
You know what's the best feeling in the world? The warm sun on your face, the ocean breeze, and knowing you're finally out of a creepy-ass underground hellhole filled with cursed immortal knights, hilichurls crying themselves to sleep, and one emo blue man who needs therapy.
Ah yes… Liyue Harbor.
Beautiful. Peaceful. And filled with the delightful scent of grilled tiger fish.
Too bad my heart is still screaming.
"I am never going back down there again," I muttered, dragging my feet across the dock like a war veteran who's seen too much… and somehow survived on sheer spite.
Lumine, ever the responsible protagonist, walks beside me like nothing happened. Paimon's flying slightly ahead, blabbering something about tofu or treasure or whatever sparkly thing caught her attention.
Me? I'm mentally curled up in a fetal position. Hugging myself. Sobbing.
"I swear that place is cursed. It smells like damp regrets and broken dreams."
"You said that already," Lumine says flatly.
"Well, it's still true! And I'll keep saying it until someone builds a Starbucks down there. THEN maybe I'll consider visiting again. MAYBE."
So, obviously, being the responsible adults that we are, we immediately sprinted to the Adventurer's Guild because that's what heroes do after barely surviving trauma. We file reports.
"Welcome to the Adventurers' Guild," Katheryne greeted us, all smiles and mechanical charm. "Ad Astra Abysso—"
"Ad–astra–shut–up–so–I–can–rant–for–a–second," I muttered.
So I began to explain. From the start. From Yuehui's commission. The weird hilichurl activity. The creepy Chasm. The upside-down city. Dainsleif being our surprise DLC guest. Halfdan and the royal guard sob story. The cursed immortality crap. The Inteyvat flower vision. The Abyss Herald. The Abyss Lector. The exploding pain machine. The last goodbye of a ghostly knight. All of it. I gave her the whole lore dump while slouching over the counter like my back paid taxes.
Katheryne just blinked and nodded.
"To make it short. Trauma. Underground hell. Curse. Hilichurls. Blue man. Big kaboom. It's handled. Can I go cry now?"
Paimon nodded solemnly. "Yup! Everything's taken care of! Although… we might have a teensy little PTSD now."
Lumine just handed over the official form like she's filling out her taxes.
"Interesting," Katheryne replied, as if we'd just returned from a picnic. "I will relay this information to the requester. However…"
Wait.
HOWEVER?
"However," she continued with that same soulless smile, "There seems to be another disturbance in The Chasm."
I blinked.
"What?"
"The investigation regarding the Chasm Nail has been approved. You are required to return for further analysis."
"…come again?"
She said it again. Word for word. Same smile. Same innocent tone.
My soul left my body.
"Ha… haha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—FUUUUUUUUUCCCKKK—"
"GRAB HIM!"
Lumine tackled me from the left. Paimon hugged my face. My arms flailed like a dying chicken in denial.
"This is DELIBERATE!" I screamed.
"I don't know what you mean," Katheryne said, smile unwavering, as if she hadn't just signed my death certificate.
I stopped squirming. There was no point. The AI won.
"Fine…" I muttered, staring into the void. "We'll go back…"
"Are you sure?" Lumine asked gently, probably wondering if I'd lost it completely.
I turned to her with a face that said I've seen the edge of the abyss and stared back into it. I smiled. Like I was trying to keep a sneeze and a mental breakdown from happening at the same time.
She slowly backed off.
"Right… that answers everything."
"Let's go back to that hellhole again, team," I said, forcing each word like it was physical pain. "We'll die in the future anyway. Might as well make it quick. Let's go before I start choosing violence again."
Paimon and Lumine exchanged worried glances, then nodded.
I raised my fist in the most unenthusiastic cheer possible.
"To another suicide mission… yay."
"Y-yay…" Lumine and Paimon echoed, equally dead inside.
We walked away from the guild like a trio of depressed anime characters who just learned there was a Season 2 of suffering. The world was bright, the sky was clear… and all I saw was darkness.
____________________________
End of Chapter 74
Quests Completed:
*Pretend you're not breaking internally while trying to make Dainsleif emotionally open up.
*Reunite with cursed ex-knights of Khaenri'ah who still remember their final order from 500 years ago.
*Return to the surface… only to be sent BACK into The Chasm 5 minutes later.
*Report your suffering to a perfectly calm NPC who has zero empathy installed.
Special Quest:
*Smile through the emotional instability.
Rewards:
*+1 Existential Crisis
*+3 Abyss Lore Knowledge
*+15,000 EXP (Emotional Pain eXperience)
*+ Weapon Enhancement Material: "Your Tears" x99
*3x Bottled Regret (Quest Item, Cannot Be Discarded)
*1x Emotional Support Yakult (Consumed instantly upon pickup. +0 effect.)
*+1 Level Up in "Survivor of Unhinged Questlines"
*+3 Bonus for Crying in an Inverted City While Cracking Jokes
*+2 Lore Points in Khaenri'ah Tragedy 101
* 9,999 Mora (Katheryne: "Please use this to buy painkillers.")
*1 Primogem (Yes. One. Singular. Because life is suffering.)
Achievements:
"Sent Back to the Chasm (Against My Will)"-Get voluntold to return to one of the most cursed place in Teyvat.
"Emotional Damage +100"Attempt to suppress tears with sarcasm. Fail spectacularly."Ha...ha...HAHAHAHAHAHA- FUUUUUUCK—" -Shigeru