"Ah! Caruthers! You're back!"
A gruff looking Gimen emerged from the pathway. Even larger than Tongstil, but more muscle.
He looked as if he could pick me up and throw me with one hand.
He peered around the lift as we approached him, looking for something that wasn't there.
"Well uh, where're the rest!?"
Oh yeah. One survivor. Me. A 14 year old.
Caruthers inhaled sharply, preparing an explanation.
"Well… there are no more, Yorgos. No more survivors. Just this lad here."
He stared at Caruthers in a slight shock, and then turned to me.
Sizing me up.
I stared back at him plainly.
Why are they acting like I'm some cattle they've just herded in?
And then I remembered.
I can't complain.
I was possibly gaining access to food, shelter, peace.
So what if I'm just a number to them?
Beats living with the humans… and being nothing at all.
"Well, for so few survivors, you must've done well to be the only one. Just remember that no matter how it feels, you won against the humans this time, aye?" Yorgos threw his hand over my shoulder.
I glanced it for a second, then back at him.
I won nothing. I accomplished nothing.
"Yeah." I replied. Portraying satisfaction once again.
"Alright. Well what's your name?"
"E…"
I remembered what Caruthers said.
I've shed my own name.
"S—Sune."
Yorgos turned to Caruthers. Looking for an explanation. But for what?
He smiled and folded his arms.
"Despite how it sounds, that is in fact his last name."
He stared at Caruthers for a second more, and then untensed.
He looked somewhat relieved.
"Ah, I see."
"Well, Sune, I'll show you to where you'll be sleeping tonight, aye. And in the morning, I'll need you to meet me outside first thing, hmm."
"Sure thing."
I followed Yorgos through all sorts of sprawling wooden pathways. Across the dozens of huts and houses. All engulfed in lantern light.
No one looked at me as I walked past, despite my condition.
I was bloody, muddy, exhausted, traumatised. My shirt torn and frayed.
I smelt a hideous odour. The stench of death still on me.
I was limping through Hengeist.
Yet it all seemed so normal to the citizens.
They must see this kind of sight all the time.
But I didn't want that.
Part of me would have preferred their pity.
I wanted my pain to be acknowledged.
I wanted to be seen. Told it was all ok now.
Appreciated. Told that I mattered.
And then I snapped back to 'reality.'
I'm pathetic. Why should they take pity on me when they probably see worse every day?
How I feel doesn't matter.
All these people have the same story.
They've seen worse. Lived worse.
I shouldn't matter to them.
I grew accustomed to the reality of never being important to anyone again.
"Well, here we are."
A random hut, identical to all the others.
"It's quite secluded. We were expecting more of you, you see. We had the area cleared."
He explained, as he unlocked the door and pushed it open for me.
I didn't reply.
"I don't really know whether I should be allowing someone your age to be living alone" he continued on. Hand over my shoulder. Preventing me from fully walking inside.
I turned around.
He held his other hand outstretched, bearing a lantern.
He was giving it to me.
I slowly picked it from his hand and explored around my new home.
Minimal space. A single bed in the corner, covered by a thin linen sheet I assumed to be a blanket.
On the other side of the room, a bucket standing lone beside the wall.
At the back, a few scratched-up cupboards with contents unknown.
That was all.
"Well. I'm sure you'll be alright, either way."
I turned to him
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
"I see." he said curiously, as he turned away to leave. Then he stopped in the doorway.
"Ooh, yes. I almost forgot to mention. There's food in those cupboards, I assume you're hungry."
I was reminded of the empty space in my stomach.
And now I was just waiting for him to leave so I could ransack the whole house.
"Who am I kidding? Of course you are! Well, enjoy. And remember, the second you wake up tomorrow, stand outside your door. If I'm not there, you wait. Got it?"
His request confused me. He could see that I needed a bit more convincing.
"It's of the utmost importance. To you. To me… To the Gimen."
He let those words sit with me for a second, and the added on.
"First thing in the morning."
Then he wondered from my view, closing the door behind him.
I waited around five seconds. All of which felt like an eternity.
Then I turned and tore open the cupboards.
Not exactly a thrilling sight.
A single loaf of bread, three tomatoes, and an onion.
The forest had me dreaming of my next meal being a big feast of exquisite cuisine.
My own brain dragged me back to the reality in front of me.
I grabbed all the food from the cupboards and started scarfing.
I didn't bother to slice the bread. To pick away the stem of the tomato.
It took all the restraint in the world to bother to unpeel the onion.
I wasn't enjoying the food. Just filling my stomach.
Is this my life now? Not living, just surviving?
Just like back at the village.
Except now I had no family to warm me. No one in the world who cared for me.
I began to reminisce everything that had happened so far.
I wanted to stop myself. But the silence, the lack of anything else to think about…
I could no longer hold it back.
The memory of everyone I had lost was all I could think of.
The knowledge that I would never see them again crushed me like a boulder on my back.
I slowly dropped to the floor. And began to sob quietly.
There's nothing now. No one.
Nothing to live for.
I truly should've been captured and enslaved. At least then I would have a purpose.
Perhaps I would loathe myself less if there was no me left. Just the shade of a Gimen boy who wanted a little more out of life.
Well instead, I lost even more.
But I was wishing for something interesting to happen back then. Something different.
Was it a cruel twist of fate that I got my wish? In the worst imaginable way?
All these thoughts raced through my mind as I continued to cry uncontrollably.
Little did I know…
My torment was just beginning.
As much as I had suffered at the village.
I despised the first months at Hengeist even more.